My doctor told me I was fat, fertile and forty!

lh1626
lh1626 Posts: 241 Member
in Motivation and Support
So what would you all do or say to that? I was humiliated!!!! I might have to have my gallbladder removed depending on how the ultra sound goes on Thursday. She said I fit the right "profile" and proceeded to tell me the "3 F's" rule. I wanted to crawl in a hole. :embarassed:
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Replies

  • Jennisin1
    Jennisin1 Posts: 574 Member
    I thought it was female, fat and flatulent?
  • LKArgh
    LKArgh Posts: 5,178 Member
    What does fertile have to do with anything???
  • Chief_Rocka
    Chief_Rocka Posts: 4,710 Member
    I think he wants to impregnate you
  • nascarted10
    nascarted10 Posts: 298 Member
    Time for a new doctor.
  • Yardtigress
    Yardtigress Posts: 367 Member
    Sometimes thats what your doctor needs to do. It not like they yelled it out at you in the waiting room, or it was something you didn't know yourself. I know I'm fat it's not like I looked in the mirror this morning and said "holy crap I'm fat, when did that happen?" At least we are trying to do something about it. Take it, use it to help yourself, heck at least the doc didn't tell you your ugly, lol.
  • Danam48
    Danam48 Posts: 129 Member
    Personally, I might have had another F word for that Dr.
  • cebreisch
    cebreisch Posts: 1,340 Member
    Definitely time for a new doctor.
  • tmaryam
    tmaryam Posts: 289 Member
    As a nurse, I can tell you this is common medical speech which we use among OURSELVES and should never be said to the patient or layperson. But I've heard doctors slip up and say it, and boy, do their faces turn red. I'm sorry that happened to you. And yes, it's the 4 F's, "fat, forty, fertile, and flatuent." That means the woman who comes in with abdominal pain and has those 4 factors, the main cause is usually the gallbladder. If you are overweight, around age 40+, fertile or FEMALE, and have digestive issues like excess gas, then the likelihood of a bad gallbladder is much higher than say a skinny pre-teen with no digestive issues. Does that make sense? He shouldn't have used that terminology around you, but what he was trying to say is that you fit the picture for a certain problem and he'd like to help you take care of it. Sending hugs for the hurt that caused you. I hope you have a speedy recovery.
  • flyingbeta
    flyingbeta Posts: 42 Member
    Yeah, that happened to me 10 years ago--I had my gall bladder removed and while I was recuperating in the hospital room, a nurse (who was older than I was) came in, looked at my chart, looked at me, and said, "Yup. Fat, forty, and female." Checked my fluids and left. I was so shocked I couldn't think of anything to say. People can be horrid.
  • UtahWI
    UtahWI Posts: 257 Member
    As a nurse, I can tell you this is common medical speech which we use among OURSELVES and should never be said to the patient or layperson. But I've heard doctors slip up and say it, and boy, do their faces turn red. I'm sorry that happened to you. And yes, it's the 4 F's, "fat, forty, fertile, and flatuent." That means the woman who comes in with abdominal pain and has those 4 factors, the main cause is usually the gallbladder. If you are overweight, around age 40+, fertile or FEMALE, and have digestive issues like excess gas, then the likelihood of a bad gallbladder is much higher than say a skinny pre-teen with no digestive issues. Does that make sense? He shouldn't have used that terminology around you, but what he was trying to say is that you fit the picture for a certain problem and he'd like to help you take care of it. Sending hugs for the hurt that caused you. I hope you have a speedy recovery.

    Also an RN and totally agree...this is what was meant. It is like a trifecta (or rather, quadfecta?) of signs that point to the gallbladder.
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,740 Member
    As a nurse, I can tell you this is common medical speech which we use among OURSELVES and should never be said to the patient or layperson. But I've heard doctors slip up and say it, and boy, do their faces turn red. I'm sorry that happened to you. And yes, it's the 4 F's, "fat, forty, fertile, and flatuent." That means the woman who comes in with abdominal pain and has those 4 factors, the main cause is usually the gallbladder. If you are overweight, around age 40+, fertile or FEMALE, and have digestive issues like excess gas, then the likelihood of a bad gallbladder is much higher than say a skinny pre-teen with no digestive issues. Does that make sense? He shouldn't have used that terminology around you, but what he was trying to say is that you fit the picture for a certain problem and he'd like to help you take care of it. Sending hugs for the hurt that caused you. I hope you have a speedy recovery.

    Also an RN and totally agree...this is what was meant. It is like a trifecta (or rather, quadfecta?) of signs that point to the gallbladder.

    I am glad to hear that SOME medical offices and practitioners actually have an ounce of class and don't use such crude terms with their patients.
  • AlmightyAce
    AlmightyAce Posts: 35 Member
    Personally, I might have had another F word for that Dr.
    +1. I fully agree.
  • jkowula
    jkowula Posts: 447
    Had my gall bladder out like 5 years ago, best thing that ever happened! And they give you morphine!! Yippee....
  • qtgonewild
    qtgonewild Posts: 1,930 Member
    i guess i dont really see the problem here. I have been fat my whole life and evey time i went to the doctor for any reason i expected the doctor to tell me it was because of my weight. and they usually did. but why would you be surprised? they are doctors, thats what they are supposed to tell you.
  • lh1626
    lh1626 Posts: 241 Member
    I guess my whole surprise with this is because she was so crass and unprofessional about it. Let's face it....she weighed a lot more than I do and was much older. I guess I expect a good bedside manner when I go see the doctor...not something like this. This was not some big revelation of me coming to terms with being fat. That is why I am on MFP. She was so awful about it.
  • djshari
    djshari Posts: 513 Member
    I guess my whole surprise with this is because she was so crass and unprofessional about it. Let's face it....she weighed a lot more than I do and was much older. I guess I expect a good bedside manner when I go see the doctor...not something like this. This was not some big revelation of me coming to terms with being fat. That is why I am on MFP. She was so awful about it.
    I would find a new doctor. I've had problems with doctors in the past where I felt I was treated like an idiot so I'm very specific about the doctors I choose now.
  • ThinkInOregon
    ThinkInOregon Posts: 283
    So what would you all do or say to that? I was humiliated!!!! I might have to have my gallbladder removed depending on how the ultra sound goes on Thursday. She said I fit the right "profile" and proceeded to tell me the "3 F's" rule. I wanted to crawl in a hole. :embarassed:

    I knew this was gonna be about the gallbladder! That saying has been around for at least 25 years (when I had my gallbladder out.) Except in my case, I was told that I DIDN'T meet the 4-F's rule (Fair, Fat, Fertile & Fourty.) I only met the 'fair' portion.

    Don't stress it.
  • MagJam2004
    MagJam2004 Posts: 651 Member
    I remember when my wife was being looked at for possible surgery and the doctor walked in, did an assessment and said the exact same thing, except noting that she is 2 of the 3 Fs (my wife isn't forty yet). In that instance though, it was all delivery and reception. She said it in a matter of fact tone, and my wife took it in a, it isn't untrue, kind of way. We laughed a little after the doctor left and she prepared herself for what turned out to be a serious surgery. With that being said, she is a Y chromosome short of ever-changing the female F, and headed straight for the forty F, but she is on her way to change the fat F.

    Regardless of the doctor's intention, you walked away upset, so do the only thing you can do; which is if it's true, then change what you can, and let the stuff you can't change slide right off. Chin up, you joined this site for a reason, made a goal, and are working towards it, keep at it.
  • timetravelforfitness
    timetravelforfitness Posts: 242 Member
    Funny, I'm sure it's just the way the doctor said it, but my doc said it to me, and I appreciated the fact that he didn't beat around the bush, but then my doc has seen me through some really bad depression, miscarriages, and crazy stomach issues (hence the gallbladder Fs). Because I already just love him, I didn't think anything of it. He makes fun of my cankles, too.

    I think if your doctor is being disrespectful or even if you just feel uncomfortable with the way he or she is talking to you, you should definitely find a new one. But at the same time, a lot of docs won't talk about the fact that their patients need to lose weight, so you might be lucky to have a doctor who does?
  • Jruzer
    Jruzer Posts: 3,501 Member
    I always heard "Fat, fair, and forty", although my doctor didn't tell me that. I was 43 when I had to have emergency surgery to remove my gall bladder so it was a good predictor for me.

    I was fat. I'd rather the doctor level with me. Different people like different bedside manners. I appreciate professionalism and directness, but some people value tact more.
  • Crateria_
    Crateria_ Posts: 253 Member
    I mean fertile sounds good.
  • Sovi_
    Sovi_ Posts: 575 Member
    That's a lot of F's
  • Escloflowne
    Escloflowne Posts: 2,038 Member
    I don't see the issue here? A doctor telling you you're fat is their job, is it not!?
  • JAllen32
    JAllen32 Posts: 991 Member
    Fat? I can understand why a dr would say that, even though it is kind of rude.
    Fertile? WHY??? Who cares? Unless you asked, of course.
    40?? She really felt the need to tell you your age? Was there concern that you were confused?
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
    As a nurse, I can tell you this is common medical speech which we use among OURSELVES and should never be said to the patient or layperson. But I've heard doctors slip up and say it, and boy, do their faces turn red. I'm sorry that happened to you. And yes, it's the 4 F's, "fat, forty, fertile, and flatuent." That means the woman who comes in with abdominal pain and has those 4 factors, the main cause is usually the gallbladder. If you are overweight, around age 40+, fertile or FEMALE, and have digestive issues like excess gas, then the likelihood of a bad gallbladder is much higher than say a skinny pre-teen with no digestive issues. Does that make sense? He shouldn't have used that terminology around you, but what he was trying to say is that you fit the picture for a certain problem and he'd like to help you take care of it. Sending hugs for the hurt that caused you. I hope you have a speedy recovery.

    At least I can now say I learned something today...
  • ElliottTN
    ElliottTN Posts: 1,614 Member
    I guess some people prefer blunt honesty when they are discussing their health and some do not...
  • _Pseudonymous_
    _Pseudonymous_ Posts: 1,671 Member
    Time for a new doctor.

    But there can't be more, I though Capaldi was the last...
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,740 Member
    I guess my whole surprise with this is because she was so crass and unprofessional about it. Let's face it....she weighed a lot more than I do and was much older. I guess I expect a good bedside manner when I go see the doctor...not something like this. This was not some big revelation of me coming to terms with being fat. That is why I am on MFP. She was so awful about it.

    I definitely understand that, and would feel the same way.

    If the doctor said, "Well, you are basically a textbook case of someone who needs her gallbladder removed, due to your age, weight, and the symptoms you describe"...but to put it in the way she did was just crass and unprofessional in my opinion. If I were in your shoes my instant response would have been, "So, in a crass and disrespectful way, you're saying that I'm in the usual demographic for that...got it". And then I'd start doctor shopping.

    ETA: It must really be true that some people like a blunt, frank or joking manner from their doc...case in point the woman who is totally okay with her doctor making fun of her cankles. I'd be like WTF!!!! So irritated and disgusted. No.
  • geebusuk
    geebusuk Posts: 3,348 Member

    I would find a new doctor. I've had problems with doctors in the past where I felt I was treated like an idiot
    Lets go back to 1st December when I was was 216lb or so - had a doctor tried to sugar coat that I was fat*, I'd have felt like I was being treated like an idiot. Not so if he'd said straight up; as that was the truth.

    *Actually, I do have quite a big frame and hide flab well, so a lot of people did come out with the "you're not fat" line.
  • lemur_lady
    lemur_lady Posts: 350 Member
    I got told that I fitted the other F's. I was fat, fertile, female but not over forty. I have been waiting nearly a year to have mine out! Hope they get their finger out soon!

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