My doctor told me I was fat, fertile and forty!

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  • Crateria_
    Crateria_ Posts: 253 Member
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    I mean fertile sounds good.
  • Sovi_
    Sovi_ Posts: 575 Member
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    That's a lot of F's
  • Escloflowne
    Escloflowne Posts: 2,038 Member
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    I don't see the issue here? A doctor telling you you're fat is their job, is it not!?
  • JAllen32
    JAllen32 Posts: 991 Member
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    Fat? I can understand why a dr would say that, even though it is kind of rude.
    Fertile? WHY??? Who cares? Unless you asked, of course.
    40?? She really felt the need to tell you your age? Was there concern that you were confused?
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
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    As a nurse, I can tell you this is common medical speech which we use among OURSELVES and should never be said to the patient or layperson. But I've heard doctors slip up and say it, and boy, do their faces turn red. I'm sorry that happened to you. And yes, it's the 4 F's, "fat, forty, fertile, and flatuent." That means the woman who comes in with abdominal pain and has those 4 factors, the main cause is usually the gallbladder. If you are overweight, around age 40+, fertile or FEMALE, and have digestive issues like excess gas, then the likelihood of a bad gallbladder is much higher than say a skinny pre-teen with no digestive issues. Does that make sense? He shouldn't have used that terminology around you, but what he was trying to say is that you fit the picture for a certain problem and he'd like to help you take care of it. Sending hugs for the hurt that caused you. I hope you have a speedy recovery.

    At least I can now say I learned something today...
  • ElliottTN
    ElliottTN Posts: 1,614 Member
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    I guess some people prefer blunt honesty when they are discussing their health and some do not...
  • _Pseudonymous_
    _Pseudonymous_ Posts: 1,671 Member
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    Time for a new doctor.

    But there can't be more, I though Capaldi was the last...
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,742 Member
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    I guess my whole surprise with this is because she was so crass and unprofessional about it. Let's face it....she weighed a lot more than I do and was much older. I guess I expect a good bedside manner when I go see the doctor...not something like this. This was not some big revelation of me coming to terms with being fat. That is why I am on MFP. She was so awful about it.

    I definitely understand that, and would feel the same way.

    If the doctor said, "Well, you are basically a textbook case of someone who needs her gallbladder removed, due to your age, weight, and the symptoms you describe"...but to put it in the way she did was just crass and unprofessional in my opinion. If I were in your shoes my instant response would have been, "So, in a crass and disrespectful way, you're saying that I'm in the usual demographic for that...got it". And then I'd start doctor shopping.

    ETA: It must really be true that some people like a blunt, frank or joking manner from their doc...case in point the woman who is totally okay with her doctor making fun of her cankles. I'd be like WTF!!!! So irritated and disgusted. No.
  • geebusuk
    geebusuk Posts: 3,348 Member
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    I would find a new doctor. I've had problems with doctors in the past where I felt I was treated like an idiot
    Lets go back to 1st December when I was was 216lb or so - had a doctor tried to sugar coat that I was fat*, I'd have felt like I was being treated like an idiot. Not so if he'd said straight up; as that was the truth.

    *Actually, I do have quite a big frame and hide flab well, so a lot of people did come out with the "you're not fat" line.
  • lemur_lady
    lemur_lady Posts: 350 Member
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    I got told that I fitted the other F's. I was fat, fertile, female but not over forty. I have been waiting nearly a year to have mine out! Hope they get their finger out soon!
  • Sharon_C
    Sharon_C Posts: 2,132 Member
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    I guess my whole surprise with this is because she was so crass and unprofessional about it. Let's face it....she weighed a lot more than I do and was much older. I guess I expect a good bedside manner when I go see the doctor...not something like this. This was not some big revelation of me coming to terms with being fat. That is why I am on MFP. She was so awful about it.

    If it were me I would have stuck my tongue out at her and said, "Yeah? Well you're forty and fat too!"

    Not really, but I would have wanted to.
  • LadyRush
    LadyRush Posts: 95 Member
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    Yep...got the same thing and then I was put on the scale and told to lose weight....it's not fun....I was on a mission after that though. Gallbladder issues are no fun. Take care of yourself. Mine is out and I feel better!
  • besaro
    besaro Posts: 1,858 Member
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    i dont see the problem either, its actually 4 efs fat, forty, fertile femaie. i was told this when i was in the hospital getting my gall bladder removed. Oversensitive much?
  • ecw3780
    ecw3780 Posts: 608 Member
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    While your doctor shouldn't beat around the bush, they shouldn't have used that language. It is unprofessional and a person is not fat, they have fat. Fat is a thing not a state of being. They should have said, "with your age, obesity and other factors, you are fit the parameters for someone with gallbladder issues." I would find another doctor who can be honest with you with out being mean. There is a big difference. I would also call your doctor out for using that language. If your doctor makes you feel uncomfortable or embarrassed, they cannot do their job properly.
  • dreawest
    dreawest Posts: 208 Member
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    I didn't make it to 40 before needing mine out but I certainly hit the other ones. But I can top your experience. The ER doctor had the gall to tell me that I am really quite attractive and if I could just loose some weight I would be truely lovely and then recommended a fad diet to drop the weight. I was in a program run by doctors and nurses at the time and my own weight loss was what was triggering the attacks and I shared the experience and they complained about the doctor because of the program she recommended being unhealthy, especially as I had previously made her aware that I was in a program from my primary doctor's recommendation and had dropped 30lbs in 5 months.
  • timetravelforfitness
    timetravelforfitness Posts: 242 Member
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    ETA: It must really be true that some people like a blunt, frank or joking manner from their doc...case in point the woman who is totally okay with her doctor making fun of her cankles. I'd be like WTF!!!! So irritated and disgusted. No.
    That was sort of my point for telling it. I have cankles due to genes. We were discussing weight and the fact that my ankles are always swollen. I wasn't judging the OP for being sensitive, maybe you could not judge me for liking my own doc?

    Edited to add: And by "sensitive" I don't mean overly sensitive, I think we all like our doctors the way we like them, and just because I don't mind mine telling me I have 3 of the 4 Fs (fat, fertile and fair), that doesn't mean she should.
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,742 Member
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    ETA: It must really be true that some people like a blunt, frank or joking manner from their doc...case in point the woman who is totally okay with her doctor making fun of her cankles. I'd be like WTF!!!! So irritated and disgusted. No.
    That was sort of my point for telling it. I have cankles due to genes. We were discussing weight and the fact that my ankles are always swollen. I wasn't judging the OP for being sensitive, maybe you could not judge me for liking my own doc?

    Edited to add: And by "sensitive" I don't mean overly sensitive, I think we all like our doctors the way we like them, and just because I don't mind mine telling me I have 3 of the 4 Fs (fat, fertile and fair), that doesn't mean she should.

    I am sorry you felt judged. I was pointing out how drastically different we can see the same sitiuation - you're amused and fine with that while I think it's rather offensive and extremely inappropriate for a medical professional. Different strokes...
  • lh1626
    lh1626 Posts: 241 Member
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    So...just wanted to address the oversensitive comment...if you knew me, you would know that could not be further from the truth. I was ticked off at the way she put it....I am tough and can handle quite a lot. However...This particular situation shocked me and I was disgusted and embarrassed at the way she approached it. Great...yes..I am fat, however try and be professional about it. I appreciate the kind and understanding feedback from others. It is nice to know this has happened to others and that I am not alone in this experience.
  • 1stday13
    1stday13 Posts: 433 Member
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    I guess my whole surprise with this is because she was so crass and unprofessional about it. Let's face it....she weighed a lot more than I do and was much older. I guess I expect a good bedside manner when I go see the doctor...not something like this. This was not some big revelation of me coming to terms with being fat. That is why I am on MFP. She was so awful about it.

    If it were me I would have stuck my tongue out at her and said, "Yeah? Well you're forty and fat too!"

    Not really, but I would have wanted to.
    I would have lol. But my doctor has known me for 25 years.We are back and forth like that all the time. :wink:
  • EvgeniZyntx
    EvgeniZyntx Posts: 24,208 Member
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    So...just wanted to address the oversensitive comment...if you knew me, you would know that could not be further from the truth. I was ticked off at the way she put it....I am tough and can handle quite a lot. However...This particular situation shocked me and I was disgusted and embarrassed at the way she approached it. Great...yes..I am fat, however try and be professional about it. I appreciate the kind and understanding feedback from others. It is nice to know this has happened to others and that I am not alone in this experience.

    It's five Fs. Fat fair female forty fertile. And it's a good statistical demographic. http://drhoffman.com/article/gallbladder-disease-2/

    No one like to be a stat and your doc doesn't have great bedside manners. But is she competent?
    Docs are imperfect people (I trained more than a few) you can get upset at words or deal with the real issue - surgery and recovery.

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