Would you put your parents in a nursing home?

HuggyBeahr
HuggyBeahr Posts: 259
in Chit-Chat
My mom worked in a nursing home in the early part of her career. I saw what she endured, and how much she genuinely cared for the elderly. She often went out of her way to make sure the patient would feel as much as home as possible. We were talking the other day and she said to promise to never put her in a home. Without a second thought, I agreed.
But I started thinking to myself, why do people put their parents or grandparents in a home? Would you put our parents there?

Replies

  • missjmariam
    missjmariam Posts: 47 Member
    Only if it came to the point where they no longer could do basic things like shower themselves or go to the bathroom and clean themselves. Otherwise I would not send them.
  • FoxBean
    FoxBean Posts: 910 Member
    My dad...yes, my mom..no way.
  • Unknown
    Unknown
    This content has been removed.
  • Pirate_chick
    Pirate_chick Posts: 1,216 Member
    My dad yes, my mom and stepdad no.
  • Tight_Fit
    Tight_Fit Posts: 453
    I would buy my father everything he needed, including a full medical staff in my home before I put him in a nursing home. He didn't stick me in an orphanage when I was too young to wipe my own *kitten*..
  • mister_universe
    mister_universe Posts: 6,664 Member
    I'm facing it right now. And yes, when the basics aren't there, there's not much choice unless you want to lose your own life, 24 hours a day, in giving care. It's very easy to say you wouldn't as a young person, but full time care in home is simply not in reach for most.
  • Unknown
    Unknown
    This content has been removed.
  • eric_sg61
    eric_sg61 Posts: 2,925 Member

    But I started thinking to myself, why do people put their parents or grandparents in a home?
    If the care they require is beyond what the familiy can do, then there may be no other choice.
  • WeepingAngel81
    WeepingAngel81 Posts: 2,232 Member
    I'm in Nebraska and my parents are in Florida. They aren't ready for a nursing home any time soon, but I wouldn't have a choice. I would hope the my sister who still lives in Florida could do what she can to be there where I cannot. Neither of us would want this as a choice for our parents, but there's a chance that it may be the only option.

    ETA- this is assuming they can no longer care for themselves at home.
  • RockWarrior84
    RockWarrior84 Posts: 840 Member
    it all depends on the nursing home. There are times when it is too stressful on the family and way over their heads that a nursing home with 24/7 care is the best option.

    We had to do it father-in-law. His health was so poor that mother-in-law could not work to take care of him, bills were not getting paid and she looked like she doubled in age from the stress. Obviously money was a big factor in it because he needed so much medical help that having someone come in to help would cost to much. He was in the nursing home until it go to the point that he went home on hospice for his final 2 weeks.

    With that being said if my parents or mother-in-law were ever to the point to where we could not handle it then yes i would go with nursing home but def pick the right one and meet the staff. Some of those people love their jobs so much and are such good people. it takes a lot to work in a nursing home seeing the elderly who are on their last leg.
  • HuggyBeahr
    HuggyBeahr Posts: 259
    it all depends on the nursing home. There are times when it is too stressful on the family and way over their heads that a nursing home with 24/7 care is the best option.

    We had to do it father-in-law. His health was so poor that mother-in-law could not work to take care of him, bills were not getting paid and she looked like she doubled in age from the stress. Obviously money was a big factor in it because he needed so much medical help that having someone come in to help would cost to much. He was in the nursing home until it go to the point that he went home on hospice for his final 2 weeks.

    With that being said if my parents or mother-in-law were ever to the point to where we could not handle it then yes i would go with nursing home but def pick the right one and meet the staff. Some of those people love their jobs so much and are such good people. it takes a lot to work in a nursing home seeing the elderly who are on their last leg.

    Great answer!
  • ShreddingIt_84
    ShreddingIt_84 Posts: 141
    Never ever ever!!!
    :noway: :noway:
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,865 Member
    I don't think it's a simple yes or no answer. It's pretty naive to think in absolutes; at some point, the care necessary may very well be beyond what is possible for the family to provide, particularly as it pertains to medical issues.

    We are fortunate that my in-laws have substantial funds saved up and a plan in place for home care when that time comes. My dad has passed on already so there is no issue there, but who knows with my mom...she's nowhere near that yet, but it would come down to her condition; we will care for her until we are unable to...at that point, we're not going to have much of a choice other than to find the best possible facility that we can.

Categories