Being Called Fat

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Kerry0785
Kerry0785 Posts: 31 Member
in Motivation and Support
I just need to vent and I thought this is the best place to do that. My parents joined Jenny Craig a year ago and have lost a lot of weight. My dad has lost almost 100 pounds. I am so proud of them but they have become so cruel about my weight. They are constantly making little comments about how I'll never lose weight and my mom will say stuff like, "lose some weight and you can fit into my fat pants" and then she starts laughing. I was outside and it was a bit cold. My dad asked if I was cold. I said, "no its mind over matter' my dad laughed and said " oh that's what your going with huh, its more like that extra fat layer you have keeping you warm." my mom then turned to me and laughed and said, " lose 45 pounds and you'll be cold." I walked away and couldn't stop crying. it really hurt. My mom has always been hard on me about my weight, even when I wasn't overweight but to have my dad join in was really hurtful. I'm happy that they have lost weight but I am getting very fed up with their high and mighty attitude. Why cant they be proud of themselves without crapping all over my self esteem. I had a baby 6 months ago so I have baby weight on top of the weight I had before. I feel awful about myself and i'm really struggling with self esteem as well as getting into a diet and exercise routine. I hate that I am letting them make me feel like this. Well, thanks for letting me vent.

Replies

  • Iwishyouwell
    Iwishyouwell Posts: 1,888 Member
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    Did you tell them to stop? If so, what was their reaction?

    You're almost 30. I know they're your parents, but why continue spending time with people who degrade and belittle you? Are you living at their home?
  • QueenE_
    QueenE_ Posts: 522 Member
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    That's just rude. I don't know how often I would be seeing them if they're just going to make comments like that, you just had a baby. I would limit my time around them and work on my goals.
  • TripZeros
    TripZeros Posts: 144 Member
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    They're jerks.
    Not only are they jerks, but they have awful self esteem and feel the need to destroy their daughter's self esteem.
    It's only a reflection of them...Please don't listen to it...Tell them to go eat a cupcake and shut the eff up.
  • emweesarah
    emweesarah Posts: 3
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    Although they have both lost weight and may seem on the outside that they are getting there stuff together, it obviously sounds to me like they both have a lot more insecurities with themselves than just carrying around some extra weight. Some people may never be truly happy with themselves and will take it out on other people, primarily those that they feel they can push around. My thoughts to you are surround yourself with positive people who will support you on whatever goals you have in mind. Negativity will only bring you down, and you don't need that.
  • palmerdanielle
    palmerdanielle Posts: 341 Member
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    So rude, I mean it's one thing for people to make comments without realizing they're being mean, but to blatantly say things like that is very insensitive. I agree try to limit time around them, maybe have a talk with them, but honestly it isn't worth your time to have that kind of negativity in your life. Also I've always heard the whole fat keeping people warm, uuum, I wish my fat kept me warm, I'm always cold haha.
    I'm sorry you're going through that though! I'd be pretty fed up with it.
  • lilaak007
    lilaak007 Posts: 37 Member
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    I think you need to let them know how hurtful their comments are. You;d think they would know better since they have been there but apparently not.
  • pilatesXOpixie
    pilatesXOpixie Posts: 70 Member
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    That's terrible. As Sarah above said, it sounds like they have many more insecurities than some extra weight. It's sad that they see it as okay to be that blatantly mean to you.

    I have to agree with most everyone who is saying to limit your time around them. My father has always been very condescending to me, and though I wanted to minimize contact with him, I thought that meant I'd be a bad daughter. However this past Thanksgiving I'd had enough. I've spoken to him once since then, which was for him to apologize, but the amount of stress and negative thoughts that left my life is unbelievable. You don't deserve that added stress, especially considering you have a little one you're caring for!! That's stressful enough!
  • zoquo
    zoquo Posts: 75
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    Why do i keep reading about these spiteful parents!? Next time they say something then you can mention that if they had raised you on a proper healthy diet then you wouldn't be having the issues that you now have with your weight! Im guessing that seeing as they were also both overweight that it was their fault in the first place! Not that i am condoning putting blame on others but they have it coming. Try a fitness program like Insanity (i love it) and you will see amazing results in just 2 months. Look online at the before and after photos for motivation. Just think about sticking it to them every time you do your workouts, think about being fit, healthy and strong and doing it all on your own without any help from them.

    Good luck

    Peace
  • RaggedyPond
    RaggedyPond Posts: 1,487 Member
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    They started out fat too. Everyone starts somewhere.
  • seoseo123
    seoseo123 Posts: 8 Member
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    I know exactly how you feel. My dad has been the same exact way with me. Every chance he gets, he calls me fat here and there. And to tell you the truth I haven't been going to the gym because of my school work piling up.. I even try to tell myself to go even an hour but it seems like an hour of school work I should be doing. BUT I just want to say don't listen and keep trying, I think it's their way of being worried about your health.
  • enchantedgardener
    enchantedgardener Posts: 214 Member
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    I think you need to let them know how hurtful their comments are. You;d think they would know better since they have been there but apparently not.

    This.
  • traceywoody
    traceywoody Posts: 233 Member
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    How awfully sad. Time to limit their influence and tune out that negativity. No one has need of that. It isn't helpful in the least. Find some supportive and positive people to be around and like someone else has said, how your parents treat you is a reflection of them, not you. You deserve better.
  • x311Tifa
    x311Tifa Posts: 357 Member
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    My egg-donor is the same way. She is beyond cruel and no longer deserves the title of mother because a mother would not hurt her child like this. I spent the first 18 years of my life getting degraded and told I constantly couldn't do things right and how I was unattractive or fat or looked slutty (because how dare I have bigger boobs, I guess). It was a zillion different things. I am not moved out, finishing my college degree (she doesn't have any college experience whatsoever), have my own brand new car, and soon to be getting happily married. Don't let their spiteful comments bring down your future success and happiness. It's something I have to montra-style chant to myself, but it has honestly helped "recovery" from her abuse.

    Best wishes!
  • AmandaJade9
    AmandaJade9 Posts: 118 Member
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    What hurtful and nasty things to say especially to there daughter. Im sorry that they were so rude to you but if you haven't let them know already make it clear to them that what they are saying is unacceptable and that you are proud of them for losing the weight but it doesn't mean you have it and if you do choose to lose weight it will be if and when your ready you wont just do it because of there nasty comments.
  • Kerry0785
    Kerry0785 Posts: 31 Member
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    Thanks for the support! I am happily married and own my own home. So thankfully I am able to get space when it is needed. I live my parents very much and I honestly think they believe that I'm laughing along with them. I need to be honest with them about how hurtful their words are. I agree my parents have self image issues and need to work on themselves both inside and out. I'm just going to keep working on me and try not to leet it get to me so much.
  • June_Bride
    June_Bride Posts: 32
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    Thats horrible... you should keep ur distance from them, I'm not saying dont see your parents, but maybe just limit ur time around them, it isnt good for you or your baby for you to be constantly crying. You will lost the weight in your own time, I am sure it must be hard to diet, exercise and take care of a 6 month old baby, so dont beat yourself up about not having lost the baby fat yet. And good luck! I'm sure you'll reach your goal when you're ready!
  • janlee_001
    janlee_001 Posts: 309 Member
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    I don't know your parents, but maybe they are mean spirited or maybe they think that type of psychology will 'encourage you' . You need to stand your ground and let them know that it hurts.
  • mighty_aphrodite
    mighty_aphrodite Posts: 13 Member
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    I would make it crystal clear to them that you do not find their jokes funny, and that if they cannot refrain from the put downs and supposedly funny comments you'll have to spend less time with them. I would explain that while you are tremendously proud of their own weight loss, it does not give them the right to make hurtful comments.

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