Turning 50 and feeling miserable....

Options
2

Replies

  • SherryTeach
    SherryTeach Posts: 2,836 Member
    Options
    What the hell did I do to myself? I used to be so energetic, positive and had such a bubbly personality. Exercise was my life (at one time) now I don't want to get off my fat *kitten*. I think about it, constantly. I'll start tomorrow. Tomorrow comes and goes and I didn't workout. It's not that I'm not I'm not up early enough, I just don't have the desire or motivation.

    I am being treated for depression since my diagnosis of colitis (been sick since 2012) but I'm not disabled! I can work out, I can eat right but I just choose not to.

    I wanted to make this year the best year ever before turning 50 and it's nearly April and I only have 8 months before my 50th.

    I start every darn Sunday and quit by Wednesday and I don't know why. :embarassed:

    If you are being treated for depression and you still feel this bad, you should speak to your doctor about a change in treatment. While you are waiting for an appointment, try to incorporate small, doable changes into your routine: walk around the block, steam some veggies, walk in place while waiting for food to cook as you stand at the stove, replace one sugary snack with a piece of fruit. All of those small things add up.
  • sunshinelively
    sunshinelively Posts: 249 Member
    Options
    I think sometimes we fail because we set the bar too high. Start small. I started with water. Take your weight, divide by 2 and drink that many ounces per day (as a baseline). I just did that for awhile. It helped curb my hunger and stopped me from interpreting thirst as hunger. I did not set my goal at going to the gym. I just decided that no matter what the circumstances I would get my heart rate up 15 minutes minimum a day. I travel alot, so that might mean 15 minutes on the bike or walking in the parking lot. But I got that in. I am up to 45 minutes twice a week and 30 every day now, and I feel bad when I don't do it. A fitbit helped with that. Then I started focusing on a healthy breakfast with enough protein to keep me full, and macronutrients that really nourished me.

    After you see a few pounds come off slowly, you will be inspired to up the ante a bit. After you meet a few small goals, build a little at a time. Don't try to be perfect by 50. Just shoot for a little better every day. Never diet. Make only changes you can live with forever.

    ^This. To get going I started taking the stairs at work, that's it.was totally winded with burning quads since I work on the 10th floor. The only thing that reinforced this was the degree of aggravation with the slow elevator. But I got to the point of being able to do the whole 10 flights and I was ready for more. You can do anything you want, if you want it bad enough. Read Slim For Life by Jillian Michaels - filled with practical doable advice. Start simple with just one thing, it really helps get you going and to build motivation. Sometimes we have to talk ourselves into things.....other times we have to act ourselves into things! Good luck!

    Good luck to you. You really CAN do this.
  • MinMin97
    MinMin97 Posts: 2,676 Member
    Options
    If you don't feel good, then you probably won't feel like it. You'll just have to DO IT anyway. Maybe make smaller goals with shorter timelines.....like, start with tomorrow: drink enough water and log it. Go for a walk and/or bike ride or go to the gym. Get yourself some nice, comfortable workout clothes....Old Navy has some nice ones pretty cheap! Keep making progress.....somewhere always.....and give yourself credit for it.
  • fitformidlife
    fitformidlife Posts: 103
    Options
    Hey there, you're not alone! I'm turning 50 this year, too, so I know exactly what you mean. The good thing is, you're in the right place now and you're reaching out to others. As you pointed out, eating right is a choice, but it can be a hard one to make and stick to when you're struggling with depression. Fortunately you haven't given up. It might feel like it sometimes, but if you had, you wouldn't be here. Feel free to friend me, and stick around MFP because it's a great place to be as you move toward that big life transition.
  • jenilla1
    jenilla1 Posts: 11,118 Member
    Options
    I'm 10 years behind you (turned 40) this year, but I understand what you're going through. I also struggle with anxiety and depression. Some others have posted about starting small. Some days I tell myself - "just go to the gym for 10 minutes" or "just walk around the block." Usually when I get started I feel better and can do more than I thought. :smile:

    I agree. The key is getting started. It's the hardest part. Once you get past that threshold (whether it's 2, 5, or 10 minutes) the endorphins start to kick in and you actually begin to enjoy yourself. You can do this! :drinker:
  • GiGiBeans
    GiGiBeans Posts: 1,062 Member
    Options
    Get a jump rope. Download the app Gym Boss and set it to 20 secs work, 10 secs rest. Jump as quickly as you can, whatever speed that may be, if you miss just keep going. Do 8 sets. Four minutes and done.

    If you are unable to get a rope then do jumping jacks, burpees, dumbbell swings or some other exercise that gets your heart rate up. Or do a mix of these but follow 20 secs work, 10 secs rest.

    I'll be 50 in less than 6 months. 2 years ago I was a hormonal mess and would get so depressed I honestly didn't think I'd still be alive to reach 50. Regular exercise can change your life in more ways than just getting fit. Hang in there.
  • kar328
    kar328 Posts: 4,152 Member
    Options
    I turn 50 in two days. Was dreading it but it's better than not turning 50. I think you need to get your medical issues under control if they're still not. As for all this here, I've been fat my entire life. A year ago in January I just started logging on here, reading tons of forum posts for motivation and changing things little by little. There's no need to be perfect all the time. The weight is slowly coming off but I'm in better shape than I've been in in years and I've been lower before. I walk a few miles almost every day. I find it helps my head just as much as my body. Me, my iPod and some fresh air. I've even walked all this winter in some disgusting weather and have felt the same way. Change one little thing at a time, don't look back at it, make it a permanent change you can live with. You'll be surprised at what you can do. :flowerforyou:
  • littleandysmom
    littleandysmom Posts: 173 Member
    Options
    What the hell did I do to myself? I used to be so energetic, positive and had such a bubbly personality. Exercise was my life (at one time) now I don't want to get off my fat *kitten*. I think about it, constantly. I'll start tomorrow. Tomorrow comes and goes and I didn't workout. It's not that I'm not I'm not up early enough, I just don't have the desire or motivation.

    I am being treated for depression since my diagnosis of colitis (been sick since 2012) but I'm not disabled! I can work out, I can eat right but I just choose not to.

    I wanted to make this year the best year ever before turning 50 and it's nearly April and I only have 8 months before my 50th.

    I start every darn Sunday and quit by Wednesday and I don't know why. :embarassed:
    I agree with others....small goals seem to work best otherwise it just seems too overwhelming. I've got less than 2 years before hitting 50. My good days are normally mon-fri as far as eating well/exercising daily. I figure it's better to have 5 good days than zero. Congrats for doing well 4 days a week!!

    I've experienced depression, after a loss in the family. It helped to have a grateful/thankful journal. My youngest son and I would write down 3 things/people...etc everyday that we were thankful for. Doesn't matter how small it is....my son would come up with things like hot water, toilet paper, his pets.....etc. It really helped start the day off positive.

    You can do it!!
    If you need friends...please add me!
  • alicias51
    alicias51 Posts: 2 Member
    Options
    Oh my dear I will be 53 in a couple of weeks and I honestly could have written what you did word for word. I've been dealing with depression on and off for several years and it got worse with anxiety attacks after my divorce about 18 months ago. At one time I also exercised alot and lost almost 70 lbs - which is all gained back. In my mind I can see myself doing the exercise but I just can't motivate my body to follow along.
    I started taking St Johns Wort several months ago for the depression and it has helped immensely. Still just couldn't get my eating under control or motivate to exercise. Then almost 2 months ago I crossed the threshold to diabetes. I guess sadly enough that was my motivation. I waited until I had no choice. Now Im keeping track of everything to stay well within limits. In 6 weeks I've dropped 14 lbs and the A1C a few points.
    I don't know if I can turn this around or reverse it but I urge you NOT to wait until something like this happens before you find that motivation.
  • MinMin97
    MinMin97 Posts: 2,676 Member
    Options
    I do remember how it felt when I was depressed. I really had no "boot straps." Be gentle with yourself, but definitely set small goals with short timelines. Ask your doc about taking St. Johns Wort to help your depression....I used that herb to overcome mine. Also consider switching to a female doctor...not that male docs are not nice or competent, just that there is something better about seeing a woman doctor, IMO, as a woman.
  • thedecorativedreamer
    thedecorativedreamer Posts: 2
    Options
    Aww! I can sympathize, turning 50 next year and now weigh almost as much as I did with my pregnancys. I just got started and would love to add you and any other friends for support. I have been shocked at how hard it is to loose weight after turning 40, even more so after a hysterectomy in 2006. I know it's hard for you because of battling depression too but remember you are not alone as we all have our battles. I am not giving up and neither should you, we can do this!
  • V0lver
    V0lver Posts: 915 Member
    Options
    What you need right now is emotional arousal something that hits you deep and shakes you up from the inside. Motivational Movies are one of the best ways to trigger emotions or a candid chat with someone you deeply care about it is the way to go imo.
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    Options
    sunday monday tuesday wednesday.

    so you are working out 4 days a week, and if you restrict your cals enough on those days they can average out with your quit days to be the amount you want..

    I think you just invented the "Quit Diet".

    You can make this work, I beleive in you!:flowerforyou:
  • Mau_Hutch
    Mau_Hutch Posts: 25 Member
    Options
    Hi there,
    Exercise really is hardest in the beginning. After about 3 months it becomes a habit that you simply don't want to break. My thoughts are that you should just do it whether you feel like it or not and think about how proud you will be after it gets easier.

    I would suggest 6 days a week. Don't always take the path of least resistance. About 2 days a week you should do something hard - definitely sweating, red-faced and possibly gasping for air - for example running 3 minutes and walking 1, with extending the run time each week. And if you can, do a couple of medium days a week - sweaty and red-faced - for example weight-lifting like at a Curves? And 2 easy days - sweating, not red-faced - something like a long walk at a quick march? If you can't manage that, then at least try for one hard day a week.
    I also agree with those who said to get your depression meds checked out. And make sure you are getting enough sleep. It's the foundation of everything that's good in your life.
    I turned 50 this December. I had dreaded it for years! Planned to be the best me, like some others have said. Blah blah blah. You know what? It's no big deal! People told me that, and I didn't believe them, but they were right. I'm actually relieved that it came and went. Stop dreading it and just live your life!

    lots of love,
    Maureen
  • delamorajc
    delamorajc Posts: 1
    Options
    I am also turning 50 this year and have also let myself go and am looking to change my eating habits. I hope you stick with it and continue to lead and live a healthy life.
  • cgarand
    cgarand Posts: 541 Member
    Options
    I am not far behind you. And, I have considered just giving up. But, I owe it to myself to take care of me, and you do to. It's never too late to set new goals and reach for them. We can't stop the clock, we are all getting older. But, if we take care of ourselves we can be fit at 50 and beyond! Focus on little changes you can make every day. Move your body, nourish your body, try new things. Forget about the calendar, take care of yourself today.
  • gdog2022
    gdog2022 Posts: 9 Member
    Options
    I'm in the same boat you are. I have taken small steps like little changes to meals. Then I started making a few better choices when eating out. The hardest thing I've done so far is to drop the soft drinks though I have one from time to time. The next thing I knew, (Like it was over night) I dropped 2 pants sizes. It's the little things that do mean a lot. Don't try to change all at once and if you have a set back, see it for what it is and move forward again. Don't stop. I wish you the best of luck.:happy:
  • SunofaBeach14
    SunofaBeach14 Posts: 4,932 Member
    Options
    sunday monday tuesday wednesday.

    so you are working out 4 days a week, and if you restrict your cals enough on those days they can average out with your quit days to be the amount you want..

    I think you just invented the "Quit Diet".

    You can make this work, I beleive in you!:flowerforyou:

    ^ Exactly this
  • clareyoung80
    clareyoung80 Posts: 177 Member
    Options
    I agree with others who say, make sure you're OK medically. I.e. you're on the right meds etc...

    For me, I found focusing on action more beneficial than the results.

    Meaning, I have a calendar on my wall. And for every day I exercise, eat well and don't smoke I get a sticker (one for each of those goals). My end goal is to have an entire month filled with stickers! Even if I fall down a few times, I still have a visual reminder of just exactly how many times I did work out a month.

    And, start small. Getting back into exercise (after a good 6 month flop) I just focus on actually doing exercise. So, if I can only do 5 minutes, it still counts. Again, it's the doing that's important, especially when trying to change habits. With my 'eating well' sticker - I get a sticker if I either hit my calorie goal OR I eat a good range of mostly non-processed foods. Most days I try to do both.

    It's the teeny-tiny changes, done on a regular basis, that add up. Even if diet-wise all you do for this week is say, switch from soda to water. Get a sticker for every day you didn't drink soda. Or whatever. Have your exercise goal this week as doing 5 jumping jacks a day - no excuses, try to schedule your 5 jumping jacks. Wake up - breakfast - 5 jumping jacks. Sticker. Job done for the day. After a while of this, the consistent habit of just turning up with start to grow.

    Also, you can start any day of the week, you can start right now!

    Also, remove your attachment to time. Yes, it's good to have a time-based goal, but stressing because you have x amount of months before you turn 50 and you want to turn 50 looking like [insert your ideal celeb here] isn't going to help. Just focus on daily actions, no matter how small.
  • laurie04427
    laurie04427 Posts: 421 Member
    Options
    Depression alone will make it hard to kick start things. Just try to make little healthy changes, maybe food wise first so you start to feel better physically and maybe that will start to give you some momentum.

Categories