Anxious about spending time with other people

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ovi212
ovi212 Posts: 145 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
So I am seeing my boyfriend tomorrow night (haven't all week!) and I am actually anxious. I wish I could just relax and be as excited as I normally am. I am just really afraid it is going to throw off my weight loss track. I worry about him getting me to eat outside of my meal plan. He also wants to make alcoholic drinks (liquid cals! Eee) and I’m worried that the alcohol will lead me to a binge… I think I might just try really hard to get him to come over after dinner. Then I can restrict and meet my regular calorie goals during the day and then I can have my night snacks with him. I should be able to have a drink and about 200cals of popcorn and be fine right? Ugh I would be so much more carefree and happy about the night if I knew I would have control of my eating and stay with my plan.

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  • Iknowsaur
    Iknowsaur Posts: 777 Member
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    This sounds like something you need to talk to someone (perhaps professionally) about. Your eating habits should not be affecting your life this much, especially to the degree that you're anxious about seeing your boyfriend.
  • LexiMelo
    LexiMelo Posts: 203 Member
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    Why don't you cook dinner for both of you? If you use a lean protein, give him two servings, and one 3-4 oz serving for yourself. Serve a carb, small serving for you, whatever he wants to eat, and one or two veggies, which he can eat or not eat.

    check out skinny taste dot com or something similar for ideas. Ir will be good and you can show your man how good of a cook you are!

    Have a drink if you want, or don't. Just be cause he has a drink doesn't mean you have to. You can make him a gin and tonic with lime and you can have seltzer with lime. Or you can get diet tonic water (no difference in taste for me) and enjoy a cocktail. 1.5 oz of rum/vodka/gin is only about 100 calories. Only you can know whether you can just have one.

    And yes, having a sensible snack on hand like popcorn is a really good idea.
  • keem88
    keem88 Posts: 1,689 Member
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    not saying you have one, but coming from someone in treatment for an eating disorder, it is not healthy to be that anxious about spending time with someone because of food. maybe it would benefit you to re evaluate and talk to somebody.
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,022 Member
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    You need more confidence in yourself and in your choices.
  • a_stronger_me13
    a_stronger_me13 Posts: 812 Member
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    Edited after seeing OP's diary: Your calorie intake is very low and your anxiety over food is a red flag for an unhealthy relationship with dieting. Please consider speaking to someone about your concerns regarding food.
  • errorist
    errorist Posts: 142 Member
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    You log 750 calories a day, give or take. That is extremely low. You should talk to someone about this. :(
  • kickivale
    kickivale Posts: 260 Member
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    Does your boyfriend know that you are working on improving your body? If he does know, you could cook a healthy meal and give yourself a two drink max or something! It's not the end of the world :)
    If he doesn't know, maybe you should share your goals and you concerns with him…it might put you at ease
  • Collier78
    Collier78 Posts: 811 Member
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    You log 750 calories a day, give or take. That is extremely low. You should talk to someone about this. :(

    This...you are consistently under 1200 calories a day...and that is extremely low.
  • ovi212
    ovi212 Posts: 145 Member
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    Sorry, I guess I should explain about my diary. I log all day, try to restrict my eating and then get to a total after dinner. At this point I've also exercised. I then turn off the computer and have my relaxing part of the day. No more worrying about dieting, internet, work etc. I have a set of snacks that I choose from every night depending on what my total was with dinner. I choose the lower of the 3 if my calories are higher for the day or the higher option if I am low. I don't get an exact calorie count for the day but I think I stay within a consistent range. I tend to just cylce through a few days worth of food so I think eating the same consistently is helping me lose and not have to count so much.

    basically, I'm afraid that when I go out and do things with others or my boyfriend I deviate from this routine/plan. I can try to stay withing my target but it is more difficult when those around you aren't dieting (my bf is even trying to bulk/gain) and when no one is encouraging you to lose.

    So what do you guys do when you are surrounded by others and socializing? I don't want to lose my whole life to this diet. Is it best just to try to choose the healthiest options you can? Or cut back more beforehand? Or just let it go? I guess being 500 over my target for 1 day won't really cause me to gain...
  • Linda8989
    Linda8989 Posts: 39 Member
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    My BF weighs about 100 lbs more than I do. My suggestion is to get a basic idea of what you'll be eating, whether it's at home, or out somewhere. Figure out what you can eat, and then stick to it, regardless of what he does. Also, my guy drinks when he's here, and I now stick to water, unless I'm in the mood for wine and can fit it in the plan that day. He ALWAYS asks would I like a little more of this, or that, or drink whatever, and I say NO. The trick is that you need to have it straight in your head beforehand. Years ago, a dietician told me that nobody is holding me down and forcing food in my mouth. As rude as I thought that was at the time, it's actually very true.
  • rrsuthy
    rrsuthy Posts: 236 Member
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    Plan ahead. If you are going out to dinner, look up the menu and nutrition (usually available on the restaurant's website) and decide, before you go, what you are going to eat.

    Volunteer to be the designated driver and you won't have to drink.

    I also like the suggestions by others to cook a meal at home.
  • gypsy_spirit
    gypsy_spirit Posts: 2,107 Member
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    Eventually you will have to learn to do this - unless you want to be a hermit for the rest of your life. Obsessing about this is not healthy. You need to make a rational plan and then stick with it.

    Also, remember that no one can make you eat or drink things unless you want to. Make a plan. Relax and enjoy the company of your boyfriend. It doesn't all have to be about food, does it?
  • tiffalicious121
    tiffalicious121 Posts: 14 Member
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    I am having similar issues....90% of the social events I get invited to involve drinking. Most of the time it's beer, but 3-4 beers can make a pretty big impact on your daily calories. I have attended a couple and drank water, but it just isn't fun for me to be sitting there drinking water (and getting asked if I'm pregnant a dozen times). I have a ton of anxiety related to interacting socially and sticking to my diet. I keep telling myself, in a few months it will be better.....
  • easjer
    easjer Posts: 219 Member
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    What you have to learn is restraint and responsibility. No one is going to make you eat or drink something you don't want to (and if they do - you've got an abusive situation that requires your immediate attention). There is no reason to binge or lose self-control just because food is there. I'm not saying it's easy - but it sort of is. I mean that the formula is simple. Say no. Don't pick up the food, don't put it in your mouth, don't chew and swallow. The actual carrying out of that task is hard, but if you are serious about weight loss and serious about making changes, you have to learn to draw limits for yourself and enforce them. Planning ahead is awesome, and I recommend it, but you also need to be firm (with yourself and others) about where your limits are.

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