Addictive food personality

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  • joolywooly33
    joolywooly33 Posts: 421 Member
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    [/quote]

    "when you are ready to lose the weight, you will".
    [/quote]

    This!!!! It's up to you, you can do this......... don't let food control you. You take control, get stuck in, hatch a plan that works for YOU :wink:
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,229 Member
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    Because that's what it is. But the problem doesn't stop or resolve itself there- *why* there is a lack of self control or willpower is the thing to be tackled. Everyone has experienced a lack of willpower or self control at some point, be it food, emotions, spending money, etc... In order to gain control, one needs to figure out why they lack it.

    Yeah but no one ever talks about needing to explore why the person over eats. They just label them as a fatty with no self control and they move on. Not the same if someone has a eating disorder. It's some big deep emotional thing. They want to help or have you at least get help. It's like, "Hey, you have the right idea being slim, but you're too slim. We can help." In fact, just the fact that people associate eat disorder with skinny speaks to the point. Do you not have a problem, one might say a disorder, if you eat too much? It's just an observation.

    I believe the issue lies in that obesity is a much slower death than starvation.

    Truly, anything can become a compulsory issue for you. Not just food. It's the ultimate impact that discerns whether a compulsion should be addressed. Do you have some behavior that you are consistent about? Like maybe you put your clothes away in a certain order or your morning routine. Any of these things can become a compulsion. It's how these compulsions impact your life that determines if the behavior should be addressed. For OCD, people develop many different compulsions and ultimately their need to fulfill those compulsions becomes overwhelming and interferes with their ability to function.

    The reality is that an anorexic could die in a few short months, but a compulsive overeater will spend years killing themselves. Because of the urgency of need to address the compulsions of an anorexic, it may seem like a compulsive overeater is not getting the care or help that they deserve.
  • craftywitch_63
    craftywitch_63 Posts: 829 Member
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    Compulsion and addiction are two different things. They are similar, but different. Compulsion is entirely psychological while addiction is psychological in combination with a physical dependence. The good news is that compulsive overeating is easier to conquer than addiction. But first, you have to make up in your mind that you want to overcome this. That is true of any compulsion or addiction. If you feel in your heart of hearts that you truly want to change this behavior, then you are going to have to learn to tell yourself no. You're going to have to find ways to moderate yourself. You are also going to have to understand that no one is responsible for what goes into your mouth, but you.

    Ultimately, however, if you find all of the above completely impossible, then the only real solution for you is to see a psychologist, or at least, some kind of counseling or therapy. Because compulsion is completely psychological.

    Agreed with this caveat (and I've been dealing with an eating addiction for 30+ years.) The brains of the truly addicted have been found to have actual physical changes associated with drug and alcohol addiction:
    The idea that a person can be addicted to food has recently gotten more support from science.

    Experiments in animals and humans show that, for some people, the same reward and pleasure centers of the brain that are triggered by addictive drugs like cocaine and heroin are also activated by food, especially highly palatable foods. Highly palatable foods are foods rich in:
    Sugar
    Fat
    Salt

    Like addictive drugs, highly palatable foods trigger feel-good brain chemicals such as dopamine. Once people experience pleasure associated with increased dopamine transmission in the brain's reward pathway from eating certain foods, they quickly feel the need to eat again.

    The reward signals from highly palatable foods may override other signals of fullness and satisfaction. As a result, people keep eating, even when they're not hungry.

    People who show signs of food addiction may also develop a tolerance to food. They eat more and more, only to find that food satisfies them less and less.
    From WebMD http://www.webmd.com/mental-health/mental-health-food-addiction

    Of course, just because you are binge eating, this does NOT mean you are addicted.

    There are some options. You can just cut the "trigger" foods out of your diet (diet as in ALL the food you eat, not diet as in the calorie-restriction common usage of the word.) Counseling is always an option but make sure the person understands food addiction/compulsion. If you need help immediately, you can join OA online or go to FAA for immediate help.

    Good luck!
  • PhearlessPhreaks
    PhearlessPhreaks Posts: 890 Member
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    Because that's what it is. But the problem doesn't stop or resolve itself there- *why* there is a lack of self control or willpower is the thing to be tackled. Everyone has experienced a lack of willpower or self control at some point, be it food, emotions, spending money, etc... In order to gain control, one needs to figure out why they lack it.

    Yeah but no one ever talks about needing to explore why the person over eats. They just label them as a fatty with no self control and they move on. Not the same if someone has a eating disorder. It's some big deep emotional thing. They want to help or have you at least get help. It's like, "Hey, you have the right idea being slim, but you're too slim. We can help." In fact, just the fact that people associate eat disorder with skinny speaks to the point. Do you not have a problem, one might say a disorder, if you eat too much? It's just an observation.

    Well, that's why I do. That's why I mention it every time food compulsion or addiction comes up. Because someone always says "willpower". And they're not wrong. But, if it were just as simple as choosing not to eat one thing over another, many of us wouldn't be here. Also, I view these things through the prism of my own struggles and experiences (doesn't everyone?) and as such, I always advocate that the person really figure out *WHY* they overeat or binge.
  • Kelly845
    Kelly845 Posts: 37 Member
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    Find something interesting to do while u are with your family like reading a book that u can't lay aside until u reach the end of it (u need to be busy not to think about food), share whatever u eat with others (this is the good side of being not alone, u don't have to eat the whole meal or fruit just because u don't want to throw it). Make sure there's no food around you when you are not having breakfast, dinner or lunch. Reduce only up to 200 cals a day. Good luck
  • tennisdude2004
    tennisdude2004 Posts: 5,609 Member
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    Compulsion and addiction are two different things. They are similar, but different. Compulsion is entirely psychological while addiction is psychological in combination with a physical dependence. The good news is that compulsive overeating is easier to conquer than addiction. But first, you have to make up in your mind that you want to overcome this. That is true of any compulsion or addiction. If you feel in your heart of hearts that you truly want to change this behavior, then you are going to have to learn to tell yourself no. You're going to have to find ways to moderate yourself. You are also going to have to understand that no one is responsible for what goes into your mouth, but you.

    Ultimately, however, if you find all of the above completely impossible, then the only real solution for you is to see a psychologist, or at least, some kind of counseling or therapy. Because compulsion is completely psychological.

    Wow, great descriptions of the difference between compulsion and addiction.

    Wrong but good effort.

    I think how you should have worded it was - this is my interpretation of the difference between compulsion and addiction.
  • CaitlinW19
    CaitlinW19 Posts: 431 Member
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    If I sit down with the wrong food, I will eat and eat and eat and eat. For me, it's all about portion control and logging everything I eat. Popcorn (healthy popcorn like skinny pop) is my new favorite snack because I get a large portion for the amount of calories. If I don't measure out my servings though, I will easily eat two servings without knowing it and could probably eat the whole bag. By logging it, I have to be more mindful of how much I can/should have...sometimes I can have 8 cups of popcorn and sometimes I can only have 2. I have switched out almost all of the snacks in my house for healthier alternatives...sure there are things I love that aren't good for me, but there are just as many things out there I love that are (like the popcorn). It's taken time to find healthy foods that make me really happy and not everything I've tried has been something that makes me feel like I'm not missing out, but those foods are out there.
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,229 Member
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    Compulsion and addiction are two different things. They are similar, but different. Compulsion is entirely psychological while addiction is psychological in combination with a physical dependence. The good news is that compulsive overeating is easier to conquer than addiction. But first, you have to make up in your mind that you want to overcome this. That is true of any compulsion or addiction. If you feel in your heart of hearts that you truly want to change this behavior, then you are going to have to learn to tell yourself no. You're going to have to find ways to moderate yourself. You are also going to have to understand that no one is responsible for what goes into your mouth, but you.

    Ultimately, however, if you find all of the above completely impossible, then the only real solution for you is to see a psychologist, or at least, some kind of counseling or therapy. Because compulsion is completely psychological.

    Wow, great descriptions of the difference between compulsion and addiction.

    Wrong but good effort.

    I think how you should have worded it was - this is my interpretation of the difference between compulsion and addiction.

    Okay... well, I've been in recovery for addiction for many years, I've also had therapy for compulsory behavior, and I've had several psychology classes (though not a psychologist). I think I have a clear understanding of the difference.

    I noticed that, while you felt the need to call me out as wrong, you didn't offer any interpretation of your own.
  • maab12
    maab12 Posts: 65 Member
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    Compulsion and addiction are two different things. They are similar, but different. Compulsion is entirely psychological while addiction is psychological in combination with a physical dependence. The good news is that compulsive overeating is easier to conquer than addiction. But first, you have to make up in your mind that you want to overcome this. That is true of any compulsion or addiction. If you feel in your heart of hearts that you truly want to change this behavior, then you are going to have to learn to tell yourself no. You're going to have to find ways to moderate yourself. You are also going to have to understand that no one is responsible for what goes into your mouth, but you.

    Ultimately, however, if you find all of the above completely impossible, then the only real solution for you is to see a psychologist, or at least, some kind of counseling or therapy. Because compulsion is completely psychological.
  • maab12
    maab12 Posts: 65 Member
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    I agree with the above quote a lot of people say its all self control. You can have all the self control in the world and lose weight but the second you stop it can all go down hill unless you figure out the why. therapy works really well or there are meetings like AA just for people with eating problems called OA.
    it works very well to help figure the why
  • lporter229
    lporter229 Posts: 4,907 Member
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    First off- I'm going to warn you: this post has the potential to get crazy.... don't take offense to what anyone says; everyone is trying to help in their own way. You're probably not going to like a lot of the responses, but there will be a lot of good info that comes your way. Now, having said that...

    Willpower- there's a notion that it is an exhaustible resource, that as we make decisions (even pleasurable ones) or become stressed, our willpower depletes. Do some reading on ego-depletion. The upside of this is, if it can be depleted, it can also be replenished!

    There can be myriad reasons why one overeats... emotional reasons, stress reasons, nutrient deficiency reasons. Figure out the driving force behind your overeating and you can better address the issue. Since this seems to be a relatively recent issue, I would suspect this is a situational problem, but only you can figure it out.

    Perhaps keeping aforementioned foods out of your reach until you figure out *why* you're eating this way is a good idea; although the vast majority of us on MFP advocate moderation, sometimes it doesn't work when lack of willpower is an issue.

    ETA: Protein. Make sure you're eating enough protein, especially in the morning. I've found when I eat a proper, protein-filled breakfast (as opposed to carb-heavy or skipping it) I make better choices throughout the day.

    Most definitely agree with this. Finding out the underlying cause for your eating is key. I am not saying it's going to be easy, but when you have these urges, ask yourself, "why do I need to eat this? What void am I trying to fill?". You will figure it out. Good luck.
  • mojohowitz
    mojohowitz Posts: 900 Member
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    Sounds more like an lack of self control stemming from immaturity (sorry, that's the only way to put it). You gotta ask yourself "when do I want to grow up and hold myself responsible for my decisions?" If the answer is "not right now," then eat all the cookies and blame an addictive food personality. If the answer is "now," then put them away and snack on something else, or enjoy them in moderation like the others in your boat choose to do every day.

    Well intentioned but incorrect. This is NOT about being immature or lacking self-control. That approach completely ignores the psychological element of food and/or eating. We are not merely automatons who require fuel to keep our machines moving. We enjoy eating. We use food to celebrate events like weddings, family gatherings, birthdays, graduations, etc. As a result, happy times become equated with unhealthy but delicious foods and those happy memories etch deep neural pathways in our brains equating crappy food with feeling good. This process begins in childhood with unwitting parents and continues until one decides to take responsibility for making the change. The OP is here and asking for help. The OP has taken a very mature step to gain control of their health and/or weight.

    Telling yourself that you are just immature and lack self-control is only self-defeating. I suspect a healthier objective would be to take responsibility for one's health WITHOUT taking the blame. These habits were engrained way before you were ever conscious of them and require some understanding of them to change them. Often, as adults, we reach for those "comfort" foods that make us feel better when our self-esteem slips. The we gain more weight. Then our self-esteem slips more. Its a tough cycle to beat but not impossible.

    Yeah. It sucks. You've been dealt some sh*tty cards but you have taken the first mature step of taking responsibility for it. If you find out WHY you eat they way you do you will be able to determine HOW to stop doing it.

    Ok. Bring on all the condescending special snowflake comments.
  • tennisdude2004
    tennisdude2004 Posts: 5,609 Member
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    Compulsion and addiction are two different things. They are similar, but different. Compulsion is entirely psychological while addiction is psychological in combination with a physical dependence. The good news is that compulsive overeating is easier to conquer than addiction. But first, you have to make up in your mind that you want to overcome this. That is true of any compulsion or addiction. If you feel in your heart of hearts that you truly want to change this behavior, then you are going to have to learn to tell yourself no. You're going to have to find ways to moderate yourself. You are also going to have to understand that no one is responsible for what goes into your mouth, but you.

    Ultimately, however, if you find all of the above completely impossible, then the only real solution for you is to see a psychologist, or at least, some kind of counseling or therapy. Because compulsion is completely psychological.

    Wow, great descriptions of the difference between compulsion and addiction.

    Wrong but good effort.

    I think how you should have worded it was - this is my interpretation of the difference between compulsion and addiction.

    Okay... well, I've been in recovery for addiction for many years, I've also had therapy for compulsory behavior, and I've had several psychology classes (though not a psychologist). I think I have a clear understanding of the difference.

    I noticed that, while you felt the need to call me out as wrong, you didn't offer any interpretation of your own.

    I have 2 family members who have addictive personalities which have both manifested in different thing and both are entirely psychological.

    The AMAS definition (short version is):

    Addiction is a primary, chronic disease of brain reward, motivation, memory and related circuitry. Dysfunction in these circuits leads to characteristic biological, psychological, social and spiritual manifestations. This is reflected in an individual pathologically pursuing reward and/or relief by substance use and other behaviors.

    Addiction is characterized by inability to consistently abstain, impairment in behavioral control, craving, diminished recognition of significant problems with one’s behaviors and interpersonal relationships, and a dysfunctional emotional response. Like other chronic diseases, addiction often involves cycles of relapse and remission. Without treatment or engagement in recovery activities, addiction is progressive and can result in disability or premature death.

    Compulsion

    A compulsion is a ritual that someone with obsessive-compulsive disorder performs in order to relieve anxiety.

    I'm not saying the OP has an addiction, but it sounds more addiction than compulsion.

    But all that said - no point to it now as OP has de-activated her account (another one bites the dust).
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,229 Member
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    Compulsion and addiction are two different things. They are similar, but different. Compulsion is entirely psychological while addiction is psychological in combination with a physical dependence. The good news is that compulsive overeating is easier to conquer than addiction. But first, you have to make up in your mind that you want to overcome this. That is true of any compulsion or addiction. If you feel in your heart of hearts that you truly want to change this behavior, then you are going to have to learn to tell yourself no. You're going to have to find ways to moderate yourself. You are also going to have to understand that no one is responsible for what goes into your mouth, but you.

    Ultimately, however, if you find all of the above completely impossible, then the only real solution for you is to see a psychologist, or at least, some kind of counseling or therapy. Because compulsion is completely psychological.

    Wow, great descriptions of the difference between compulsion and addiction.

    Wrong but good effort.

    I think how you should have worded it was - this is my interpretation of the difference between compulsion and addiction.

    Okay... well, I've been in recovery for addiction for many years, I've also had therapy for compulsory behavior, and I've had several psychology classes (though not a psychologist). I think I have a clear understanding of the difference.

    I noticed that, while you felt the need to call me out as wrong, you didn't offer any interpretation of your own.

    I have 2 family members who have addictive personalities which have both manifested in different thing and both are entirely psychological.

    The AMAS definition (short version is):

    Addiction is a primary, chronic disease of brain reward, motivation, memory and related circuitry. Dysfunction in these circuits leads to characteristic biological, psychological, social and spiritual manifestations. This is reflected in an individual pathologically pursuing reward and/or relief by substance use and other behaviors.

    Addiction is characterized by inability to consistently abstain, impairment in behavioral control, craving, diminished recognition of significant problems with one’s behaviors and interpersonal relationships, and a dysfunctional emotional response. Like other chronic diseases, addiction often involves cycles of relapse and remission. Without treatment or engagement in recovery activities, addiction is progressive and can result in disability or premature death.

    Compulsion

    A compulsion is a ritual that someone with obsessive-compulsive disorder performs in order to relieve anxiety.

    I'm not saying the OP has an addiction, but it sounds more addiction than compulsion.

    But all that said - no point to it now as OP has de-activated her account (another one bites the dust).

    That is not at all very dissimilar from what I said. I love how you draw upon a textbook definition for addiction, but not for compulsion.

    Either way, I have personal experience with both while you don't.

    Have a good day!
  • tennisdude2004
    tennisdude2004 Posts: 5,609 Member
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    Compulsion and addiction are two different things. They are similar, but different. Compulsion is entirely psychological while addiction is psychological in combination with a physical dependence. The good news is that compulsive overeating is easier to conquer than addiction. But first, you have to make up in your mind that you want to overcome this. That is true of any compulsion or addiction. If you feel in your heart of hearts that you truly want to change this behavior, then you are going to have to learn to tell yourself no. You're going to have to find ways to moderate yourself. You are also going to have to understand that no one is responsible for what goes into your mouth, but you.

    Ultimately, however, if you find all of the above completely impossible, then the only real solution for you is to see a psychologist, or at least, some kind of counseling or therapy. Because compulsion is completely psychological.

    Wow, great descriptions of the difference between compulsion and addiction.

    Wrong but good effort.

    I think how you should have worded it was - this is my interpretation of the difference between compulsion and addiction.

    Okay... well, I've been in recovery for addiction for many years, I've also had therapy for compulsory behavior, and I've had several psychology classes (though not a psychologist). I think I have a clear understanding of the difference.

    I noticed that, while you felt the need to call me out as wrong, you didn't offer any interpretation of your own.

    I have 2 family members who have addictive personalities which have both manifested in different thing and both are entirely psychological.

    The AMAS definition (short version is):

    Addiction is a primary, chronic disease of brain reward, motivation, memory and related circuitry. Dysfunction in these circuits leads to characteristic biological, psychological, social and spiritual manifestations. This is reflected in an individual pathologically pursuing reward and/or relief by substance use and other behaviors.

    Addiction is characterized by inability to consistently abstain, impairment in behavioral control, craving, diminished recognition of significant problems with one’s behaviors and interpersonal relationships, and a dysfunctional emotional response. Like other chronic diseases, addiction often involves cycles of relapse and remission. Without treatment or engagement in recovery activities, addiction is progressive and can result in disability or premature death.

    Compulsion

    A compulsion is a ritual that someone with obsessive-compulsive disorder performs in order to relieve anxiety.

    I'm not saying the OP has an addiction, but it sounds more addiction than compulsion.

    But all that said - no point to it now as OP has de-activated her account (another one bites the dust).

    That is not at all very dissimilar from what I said. I love how you draw upon a textbook definition for addiction, but not for compulsion.

    Either way, I have personal experience with both while you don't.

    Have a good day!

    Wow, so you know everything about me and my life now, aren't you magnificent.

    I must disagree your definitions were very vague and not really like the AMAS definition (but what to I know, I've never been a phycology student - but of course you know that).

    I can see if I can find a text book definition of compulsion (but do I really need to expand on the one liner above)?
  • neandermagnon
    neandermagnon Posts: 7,436 Member
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    Sounds more like an lack of self control stemming from immaturity (sorry, that's the only way to put it). You gotta ask yourself "when do I want to grow up and hold myself responsible for my decisions?" If the answer is "not right now," then eat all the cookies and blame an addictive food personality. If the answer is "now," then put them away and snack on something else, or enjoy them in moderation like the others in your boat choose to do every day.

    Well intentioned but incorrect. This is NOT about being immature or lacking self-control. That approach completely ignores the psychological element of food and/or eating. We are not merely automatons who require fuel to keep our machines moving. We enjoy eating. We use food to celebrate events like weddings, family gatherings, birthdays, graduations, etc. As a result, happy times become equated with unhealthy but delicious foods and those happy memories etch deep neural pathways in our brains equating crappy food with feeling good. This process begins in childhood with unwitting parents and continues until one decides to take responsibility for making the change. The OP is here and asking for help. The OP has taken a very mature step to gain control of their health and/or weight.

    Telling yourself that you are just immature and lack self-control is only self-defeating. I suspect a healthier objective would be to take responsibility for one's health WITHOUT taking the blame. These habits were engrained way before you were ever conscious of them and require some understanding of them to change them. Often, as adults, we reach for those "comfort" foods that make us feel better when our self-esteem slips. The we gain more weight. Then our self-esteem slips more. Its a tough cycle to beat but not impossible.

    Yeah. It sucks. You've been dealt some sh*tty cards but you have taken the first mature step of taking responsibility for it. If you find out WHY you eat they way you do you will be able to determine HOW to stop doing it.

    Ok. Bring on all the condescending special snowflake comments.

    humans have been doing social food sharing for millions of years. Equating food with happy memories and socialising isn't the problem. Eating too much and being sedentary is the problem. If someone has happy memories of eating, then the parents didn't do anything wrong. It's a normal part of being human. Being more active means you can enjoy eating more food without gaining weight.

    I sympathise with the OP's problem though, and I'm not one of the people who are telling her she has no self-control or whatever. You can read my advice earlier in the thread. I used to have this problem myself, and I explained how I fixed it. Most of your advice above is good, I just don't think that there's anything wrong with enjoying food, socialising with food or having happy memories associated with food. Sorry but if someone has no happy memories of social eating events in their childhood then they had a miserable childhood.
  • mojohowitz
    mojohowitz Posts: 900 Member
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    Sounds more like an lack of self control stemming from immaturity (sorry, that's the only way to put it). You gotta ask yourself "when do I want to grow up and hold myself responsible for my decisions?" If the answer is "not right now," then eat all the cookies and blame an addictive food personality. If the answer is "now," then put them away and snack on something else, or enjoy them in moderation like the others in your boat choose to do every day.

    Well intentioned but incorrect. This is NOT about being immature or lacking self-control. That approach completely ignores the psychological element of food and/or eating. We are not merely automatons who require fuel to keep our machines moving. We enjoy eating. We use food to celebrate events like weddings, family gatherings, birthdays, graduations, etc. As a result, happy times become equated with unhealthy but delicious foods and those happy memories etch deep neural pathways in our brains equating crappy food with feeling good. This process begins in childhood with unwitting parents and continues until one decides to take responsibility for making the change. The OP is here and asking for help. The OP has taken a very mature step to gain control of their health and/or weight.

    Telling yourself that you are just immature and lack self-control is only self-defeating. I suspect a healthier objective would be to take responsibility for one's health WITHOUT taking the blame. These habits were engrained way before you were ever conscious of them and require some understanding of them to change them. Often, as adults, we reach for those "comfort" foods that make us feel better when our self-esteem slips. The we gain more weight. Then our self-esteem slips more. Its a tough cycle to beat but not impossible.

    Yeah. It sucks. You've been dealt some sh*tty cards but you have taken the first mature step of taking responsibility for it. If you find out WHY you eat they way you do you will be able to determine HOW to stop doing it.

    Ok. Bring on all the condescending special snowflake comments.

    humans have been doing social food sharing for millions of years. Equating food with happy memories and socialising isn't the problem. Eating too much and being sedentary is the problem. If someone has happy memories of eating, then the parents didn't do anything wrong. It's a normal part of being human. Being more active means you can enjoy eating more food without gaining weight.

    I sympathise with the OP's problem though, and I'm not one of the people who are telling her she has no self-control or whatever. You can read my advice earlier in the thread. I used to have this problem myself, and I explained how I fixed it. Most of your advice above is good, I just don't think that there's anything wrong with enjoying food, socialising with food or having happy memories associated with food. Sorry but if someone has no happy memories of social eating events in their childhood then they had a miserable childhood.

    Agreed. A person must understand WHY they are eating to excess and HOW to stop. You offered some very helpful ideas.
  • easjer
    easjer Posts: 219 Member
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    Yes, I struggled with this in college and was tested and diagnosed with Binge Eating Disorder and I was 1 pt away (based on the testing I did) from Obsessive-Compulsive Overeating Disorder. Fun times. I did therapy and a lot of nutritional classes, and worked on identifying the triggers for binging and was taught various ways to distract and disengage before I reached a full binging state.

    It worked ok, but the habits stayed with me and are ingrained to the point now that my immediate reaction to stress or high emotion is to reach for food and shove it in my mouth as quickly as I can. I mostly don't, mind you, but I'm under a lot of stress right now and it's taking a lot of willpower and focus to stay within my calorie goals for the day - forget macros or anything else right now.

    For me, where I am right now, there is a huge aspect of self-control and willpower. I stop myself from eating or I make a deliberate decision to eat something knowing what my options are afterwards (eat less somewhere else in the day, work out to offset the intake, accept a smaller deficit). I know now that I am the responsible party - that I am the only one who can make myself eat or stop myself from eating.

    But you know, I was NOT there in college. Or while in therapy. I'm just at a different place in my life now.

    You say you can't stop - but can you elaborate and be more honest about what you mean? There is a difference between mindless eating, boredom eating, emotional eating and binging. What are you thinking and feeling when you are eating these foods? What are you thinking and feeling when you are full but still reaching for these foods.

    If it's boredom, you can learn to occupy yourself.

    If it's mindless, see above. You might also do well in both scenarios to simply remove these foods from your home for now. If you don't have them there you can't eat them. That isn't necessarily practical long-term advice, and I'm not suggesting you cut them entirely from your diet - just don't keep them in your home.

    If it's emotionally based, then you need to learn to identify the emotions prompting you to eat and you need to ask yourself why you believe food will help. You may need professional help in learning to identify emotions (I did. I had the emotional maturity of a child - no real nuance, and no real skills for coping with emotion), and help learning how to appropriately cope with and handle emotions.

    If it's binging, where the compulsion to eat is overriding everything, even the voice in your head saying you don't really want anymore - where you cannot stop eating, no matter what attempts you make to prevent it, then you need professional help. No stigma, nothing bad attached to it. No guilt or shame. You are simply in over your head and need someone with experience to help guide you.
  • SonicDeathMonkey80
    SonicDeathMonkey80 Posts: 4,489 Member
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    Sounds more like an lack of self control stemming from immaturity (sorry, that's the only way to put it). You gotta ask yourself "when do I want to grow up and hold myself responsible for my decisions?" If the answer is "not right now," then eat all the cookies and blame an addictive food personality. If the answer is "now," then put them away and snack on something else, or enjoy them in moderation like the others in your boat choose to do every day.

    Well intentioned but incorrect. This is NOT about being immature or lacking self-control. That approach completely ignores the psychological element of food and/or eating. We are not merely automatons who require fuel to keep our machines moving. We enjoy eating. We use food to celebrate events like weddings, family gatherings, birthdays, graduations, etc. As a result, happy times become equated with unhealthy but delicious foods and those happy memories etch deep neural pathways in our brains equating crappy food with feeling good. This process begins in childhood with unwitting parents and continues until one decides to take responsibility for making the change. The OP is here and asking for help. The OP has taken a very mature step to gain control of their health and/or weight.

    Telling yourself that you are just immature and lack self-control is only self-defeating. I suspect a healthier objective would be to take responsibility for one's health WITHOUT taking the blame. These habits were engrained way before you were ever conscious of them and require some understanding of them to change them. Often, as adults, we reach for those "comfort" foods that make us feel better when our self-esteem slips. The we gain more weight. Then our self-esteem slips more. Its a tough cycle to beat but not impossible.

    Yeah. It sucks. You've been dealt some sh*tty cards but you have taken the first mature step of taking responsibility for it. If you find out WHY you eat they way you do you will be able to determine HOW to stop doing it.

    Ok. Bring on all the condescending special snowflake comments.

    humans have been doing social food sharing for millions of years. Equating food with happy memories and socialising isn't the problem. Eating too much and being sedentary is the problem. If someone has happy memories of eating, then the parents didn't do anything wrong. It's a normal part of being human. Being more active means you can enjoy eating more food without gaining weight.

    I sympathise with the OP's problem though, and I'm not one of the people who are telling her she has no self-control or whatever. You can read my advice earlier in the thread. I used to have this problem myself, and I explained how I fixed it. Most of your advice above is good, I just don't think that there's anything wrong with enjoying food, socialising with food or having happy memories associated with food. Sorry but if someone has no happy memories of social eating events in their childhood then they had a miserable childhood.

    Agreed. A person must understand WHY they are eating to excess and HOW to stop. You offered some very helpful ideas.

    I'm not getting all armchair psychologist over this 19 year old girl's post. She said she was obsessed with Belvita crackers, cereal, crackers, etc, and would eat the entire container. She admits to knowing she needs to quit this habit, and didn't indicate any barriers to doing so, hence why I said she needs to just grow up and hold herself accountable, if that's what she really wants.