I don't feel guilty and neither should you.

JESharp2
JESharp2 Posts: 9
in Health and Weight Loss
For lunch today, I had a social obligation to attend, what we refer to here in the south as, "Dinner on the Grounds." It was basically a pot luck meal where everybody brings their favorite food and everyone eats as much as they can. Being in the deep south, nothing there would be considered a healthy option. Now, I admit that I had control of the portions that I chose, but I am a weak human and I succumbed to temptation. I estimate that I probably consumed 1800-2000 calories.
My instinct is to feel guilt and from that guilt, starve myself for the rest of today and probably tomorrow. I have been good all week with a calorie deficit everyday and my brain is trying to convince myself that I ruined all of my hard work with one meal. I see a similar attitude repeated constantly from several posts here.
As I wrote in the subject: I don't feel guilty and (if similar happens to you) neither should you. It has been said many times here and should be repeated: Diet and weight loss does not depend on what you do on one particular day. It depends on your choices over the course of a week or weeks.
I am going to eat smart for the rest of today and continue like normal tomorrow (Although I will probably do 20 extra minutes of cardio). If the same happens to you, I encourage you not to view this as a failure, but to continue on your journey of smart choices. One calorie spike never hurt anyone's overall progress.

Replies

  • Eleanorjanethinner
    Eleanorjanethinner Posts: 563 Member
    Great post and very true! As long as it's not a regular thing, the occasional 'oops' meal isn't the end of the world. Persistence is key to success in weight loss, I think.
  • Widadita
    Widadita Posts: 176 Member
    One bad meal is not gonna make you gain weight, same as one good meal won't make you lose weight. simple as that!
  • Ang108
    Ang108 Posts: 1,711 Member
    Why do you automatically assume and accept that you are a " weak human " ?
    The single most important fact that I have come to believe over the last year is that I am strong and that no person or circumstance can force me to eat something I don't want to eat. I also learned to not make any excuses that have to do with being weak & helpless, because I am not. These days; if I don't want to eat something, I don't ( without drama, I just quietly decline with a " no, thank you " ). If I want to eat something , no matter how sinful, I do and enjoy it without guilt.
    I have been with MFP since April 10th last year and never have gone over for more then a few hundred calories and never had a cheat meal or cheat day. I just tell myself every day that I am the only one who controls my life and no one or nothing else !
    Apart from that, one meal is not the end of the world. However if you have lots of those " one meal will not make you fat " then maybe you have to re-think your approach.
    Good Luck !
  • JESharp2
    JESharp2 Posts: 9
    Why do you automatically assume and accept that you are a " weak human " ?
    The single most important fact that I have come to believe over the last year is that I am strong and that no person or circumstance can force me to eat something I don't want to eat. I also learned to not make any excuses that have to do with being weak & helpless, because I am not. These days; if I don't want to eat something, I don't ( without drama, I just quietly decline with a " no, thank you " ). If I want to eat something , no matter how sinful, I do and enjoy it without guilt.
    I have been with MFP since April 10th last year and never have gone over for more then a few hundred calories and never had a cheat meal or cheat day. I just tell myself every day that I am the only one who controls my life and no one or nothing else !
    Good Luck !
    I think what you say is true; however the human psyche is highly complex. It's not a matter of just being weak or just being strong. Every human ego is a complex web of strengths and weakness. I don't think its bad to recognize that as long as you don't let that weakness define you and your further decisions. I admire your will power and the tenacity with which you approach your healthy decisions. Good luck to us all.
  • wonderwoman234
    wonderwoman234 Posts: 551 Member
    I am glad you are banishing the black and white, "all or nothing" type of thinking that causes many people to give up weight loss.

    I noticed you said that you were "good" the rest of the week. I would challenge you to think of yourself as good all the time, regardless if you overeat or not. Labeling yourself or your eating as good or bad can get in the way of making sustainable change.

    You went to a party, enjoyed the food, and chose that day to be a "non-losing" day. That is life. That is what it takes to live with moderation the rest of your life. Good for you!
  • JESharp2
    JESharp2 Posts: 9
    I am glad you are banishing the black and white, "all or nothing" type of thinking that causes many people to give up weight loss.

    I noticed you said that you were "good" the rest of the week. I would challenge you to think of yourself as good all the time, regardless if you overeat or not. Labeling yourself or your eating as good or bad can get in the way of making sustainable change.

    You went to a party, enjoyed the food, and chose that day to be a "non-losing" day. That is life. That is what it takes to live with moderation the rest of your life. Good for you!
    Yes, it's hard to get away from certain words and ideas that are deeply rooted in the mind. Thanks for the reminder and the encouragement.
  • oxers
    oxers Posts: 259 Member
    Yeah, see, that's the thing. You didn't do anything WRONG. You're still moving towards your right level of health and fitness, and the fact that you went out and lived your life and went over your calorie intake has absolutely no bearing on your worth as a person. You ate a little more, that's all. Log it, eat dinner, work out tomorrow and forget it. Move on. Occasionally saying "oh, screw it" isn't bad or weak - it's normal, and frankly kind of healthy. Being thin CAN'T be the only thing that matters to you, you know? There needs to be a balance, and you should never beat yourself up for that. That thinking isn't healthy, and more importantly, it's not sustainable.
  • Ang108
    Ang108 Posts: 1,711 Member
    Why do you automatically assume and accept that you are a " weak human " ?
    The single most important fact that I have come to believe over the last year is that I am strong and that no person or circumstance can force me to eat something I don't want to eat. I also learned to not make any excuses that have to do with being weak & helpless, because I am not. These days; if I don't want to eat something, I don't ( without drama, I just quietly decline with a " no, thank you " ). If I want to eat something , no matter how sinful, I do and enjoy it without guilt.
    I have been with MFP since April 10th last year and never have gone over for more then a few hundred calories and never had a cheat meal or cheat day. I just tell myself every day that I am the only one who controls my life and no one or nothing else !
    Good Luck !
    I think what you say is true; however the human psyche is highly complex. It's not a matter of just being weak or just being strong. Every human ego is a complex web of strengths and weakness. I don't think its bad to recognize that as long as you don't let that weakness define you and your further decisions. I admire your will power and the tenacity with which you approach your healthy decisions. Good luck to us all.

    I agree with you and probably should/could have expressed myself better. But as a non-native speaker/writer of English I am not always aware that I did not get my point 100% across until it is pointed out to me.
    My thought was that in order to be successful on our path to becoming healthier/fitter and thinner we not only need to count calories and eat at a deficit, but more often than not need to change how we think about food and how we think about ourselves in regard to food. My biggest obstacle was exactly that. I had to learn to say " no " to others as well as to myself. I also had to learn that " saying no " ( in all it's different facets ) did not mean that I would become anti-social, it just meant that the rules had slightly changed. These days I engange in the same activities as before. If friends have an ice cream social I have coffee ( I actually don't like ice cream very much...lol ) or if there is a BBQ I have some meat & salad, no one even notices unless I talk about my choices, which I don't. Yesterday I was with friends and had a beer and a brandy, but no snacks....my choice and again no one noticed, or at least no one said anything. Most don't know that I am losing weight and even though I lost 50 pounds so far, the subject never has come up.
    I think we all can be stronger. That does not mean that we are super strong 100% of all of the time, but it does mean that we need to be a little bit stronger each day. When we eat I think we should from a base of control and not weakness, even if we decide to eat a pint of ice cream. If we go from the premise that we are weak ( and therefore always out of control ) human beings, how are we going to not only succeed, but maintain that success in the long run ?
  • kutterba
    kutterba Posts: 107 Member
    I knew that somewhere here at MFP there were reasonable people! I am glad to meet you all - even for one post. I am 65 years and at 18 months a well-meaning DR. told my mom to put me on a diet that I was off the charts or something. Well, my little baby has been screaming in hunger ever since... I have dieted for almost all my 65 years until MFP. Now I limit the amount of calories as a matter of course because I have no idea if I've eaten enough. However, my calorie amount is 1500 - if I were completely sedentary I would still lose until I weighed 150. Eventually. :laugh:
    My life is not my diet and my diet is not my life. I have to eat to live and I'm a great cook - yeesh. :ohwell:

    I hope you all continue in moderation. And,my goodness! LIVE your life. Love your life and love yourself by treating yourself with respect.

    +God bless+ :flowerforyou:

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