When you have alot to lose, do you ever think.......

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downtome
downtome Posts: 529 Member
in Motivation and Support
When you have alot of weight to lose like over 100 pounds and your just starting out, do you think to yourself that the measly 13 pounds you lost is nothing when you look at yourself in the mirror and see how big you are? Sure, 13 pounds is alot to some people but those of us with over 100 pounds to lose, honestly, it really doesn't even make a dent! I know it's a start but I feel like it's going to take such a long time and it starts getting me down and out. I hate feeling this way and by all means I don't want to, but I can't help what pops into my head most days. I realize that it is going to take time but patience isn't one of my strong points and I know that every pound lost is going to add up to many pounds lost in the future. I look at all you who have lost 60-70-80-over 100 pounds, and wish I was there too. I know I can have that and I will but I wish I didn't feel so negative about myself and what I see in the mirror. I know in my heart that I am doing my very best to stay on track, I'm eating better and trying to exercise but it all weighs so heavily on my mind and consumes most of my day. It's so time consuming and exhausting to think about calorie counting, exercising and losing weight everyday. I know this way is better than eating like theres no tomorrow and feeling miserable, I suppose that is time consuming too...LOL. I know I will look back on this a few months from now and by then I will be down a good amount of weight and I will feel like an idiot for even having felt this way! I really just needed to vent is all, I'm just tired of feeling so bad about myself and for ever having gotten to this point in my life. Why did I let myself go? I don't know, I guess I just didn't care about me, well I do now and that is whats important, is that I am finally commited to making this change for myself and my children. I'm heading in the right direction, even though it took me all this time to be willing to make a change, I'm doing it and with the help of my MFP family. Thanks so much for all your support and kindness. May we all continue down our road to good health and freedom from feeling miserable! I feel much better now that I wrote out my feelings and I'm sure I will feel even better with your responses and I will not be discouraged....period! :)
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Replies

  • MissAnjy
    MissAnjy Posts: 2,480 Member
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    I know i'm not in your position but I can understand what you're saying. The 45lbs I needed to lose was overwhelming as well. You have to take it one day at a time, and make mini goals for yourself. I do mine for every 10lbs. I don't look at my journey as "well i need to lose 45lbs" i look at each goal like "i need to lose 10lbs to get to goal". I've been successful doing this. I've lost 32lbs so far. Right now, I'm working on my "next 10" for my goal. Break up that number for yourself. Break it down,make it something you can manage. Don't think of the 100 you need to lose, think of the 10, work towards that.
  • Anna19911
    Anna19911 Posts: 141
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    I totally know how you feel. I look and the mirror and don't see any difference and it sucks but i try not to let it affect me! I just keep telling myself that i'm on the right path and i'm taking it day by day. just remember We WILL get there in time.
  • blumuse
    blumuse Posts: 52 Member
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    I have over 100 lbs to lose and I absolutely know how you feel! I was stuck at a 16 lb loss for what seems like FOREVER and I know it can sometimes feel frustrating. It didn't feel like I'd ever get to 20. I was extremly envious of people who had lost 50 lbs or more. However, I stuck it out, even through the bad days and I'm at a 34 lb loss now. Some days it doesn't feel like much... I cant SEE much of a difference, but 34 will become 40 will become 50... etc.
  • Diannerv
    Diannerv Posts: 195
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    When you have alot of weight to lose like over 100 pounds and your just starting out, do you think to yourself that the measly 13 pounds you lost is nothing when you look at yourself in the mirror and see how big you are? Sure, 13 pounds is alot to some people but those of us with over 100 pounds to lose, honestly, it really doesn't even make a dent! I know it's a start but I feel like it's going to take such a long time and it starts getting me down and out. I hate feeling this way and by all means I don't want to, but I can't help what pops into my head most days. I realize that it is going to take time but patience isn't one of my strong points and I know that every pound lost is going to add up to many pounds lost in the future. I look at all you who have lost 60-70-80-over 100 pounds, and wish I was there too. I know I can have that and I will but I wish I didn't feel so negative about myself and what I see in the mirror. I know in my heart that I am doing my very best to stay on track, I'm eating better and trying to exercise but it all weighs so heavily on my mind and consumes most of my day. It's so time consuming and exhausting to think about calorie counting, exercising and losing weight everyday. I know this way is better than eating like theres no tomorrow and feeling miserable, I suppose that is time consuming too...LOL. I know I will look back on this a few months from now and by then I will be down a good amount of weight and I will feel like an idiot for even having felt this way! I really just needed to vent is all, I'm just tired of feeling so bad about myself and for ever having gotten to this point in my life. Why did I let myself go? I don't know, I guess I just didn't care about me, well I do now and that is whats important, is that I am finally commited to making this change for myself and my children. I'm heading in the right direction, even though it took me all this time to be willing to make a change, I'm doing it and with the help of my MFP family. Thanks so much for all your support and kindness. May we all continue down our road to good health and freedom from feeling miserable! I feel much better now that I wrote out my feelings and I'm sure I will feel even better with your responses and I will not be discouraged....period! :)

    First off, big hugs... I think everyone has their "own" story. Whether its 100 lbs or 14 lbs. :wink: I totally agree with the other post about mini goals, just look at it 10 lbs at a time. That seems to be what I think the easiest thing to wrap your brain around. You can keep going in the right direction and you have to think about the health benefits from losing that much weight. At my age thats what clicked for me. I really started to freak out the closer I got to 40. Youre doing your body good by every 10 lbs you take off. Just keep on track. Yes calorie counting is exhausting but after a bit you will get the hang of it and you'll automatically know if you will be over. I have lost almost 50 lbs and I remember eating alot of the same things at first. My daily intake stayed the same for a bit cause it was just easiest for me. Find what works for you, stick with it and dont let anyone get in your way. Especially yourself. Sometimes we are our own worst enemies. Treat yourself, I remember after I lost 25 lbs I treat myself to an expensive bottle of perfume that I had wanted. Write those goals on the calendar. You'll get there. 10 lbs at a time. :happy:
  • kimjoan
    kimjoan Posts: 192 Member
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    When I started my weight loss journey I weighed 333 pounds and it was very overwhelming to think that I had to loose almost half of that to be at a healthly weight. At first I looked at the big picture and it was VERY discouraging, like you said - I could loose 20 pounds (which is a lot for most) and not see any difference. Then one day a very wise person (my mother) told me that life is a celebration of small successes so I started taking it 10 pounds at a time. So, at 300 my goal was to reach 290, at 290 my goal switched to 280 - each time I reached a goal it was a celebration and I celebrated by rewarding myself with something beautiful for my home. As I saw the changes to my surroundings I felt better about myself and the situation. It has been a long journey and I am now at 184 - just nine pounds away from my goal - but it has so been worth it! Good luck, hope this gives you a tool or two to help your journey not seem so overwhelming.
  • ctraill
    ctraill Posts: 89 Member
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    I totally agree with everyone that's posted so far. This is all a mental game and part of losing weight means reevaulating our relationships to food. The only competition you're having is with yourself and we all need to challenge ourselves to be just a little bit healthier every single day.

    13 pounds is a huge achievement! Through diet and exercise, you've cut 45,500 calories from your diet over the last weeks/months - that's HUGE. Celebrate the small victories and one day, I promise, when you look in the mirror it's just going to hit you. You won't see major changes or feel completely different today, tomorrow or the next day - this is a long journey! But they WILL happen!
  • CGerman
    CGerman Posts: 539
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    I started out in July with about 120 lbs to lose - and I hear you that it can feel overwhelming. I still have about 50 lbs to go, but that feels doable now. It took the longest time to really notice a difference and have clothes start to fit better - but it did happen, and now I'm kind of addicted to the feeling of accomplishment and the compliments I get on my weight loss. I know it sounds strange, but I tried to focus on the negative feelings I had when I looked in the mirror. It was motivation for me to change the reflection. All you can do is keep going, one day at a time. Before you know it you'll be encouraging someone new with a lot to lose and looking back on how you felt when you started. Start taking progress pictures! As much as I hate looking back at where I started it feels great to see changes that I don't notice because I see myself every day.
  • Sarahbear83
    Sarahbear83 Posts: 110 Member
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    I use to feel that way. I had 120 ish pounds to lose. The longer I sat around feeling sorry for myself and thinking about how long it would take, the higher that number crept up. You've got to take a step back and focus on every small goal. Celebrate every success. Clothes feeling too big, half a pound, being able to do a new exercise or more of it. If you have to, just ignore that huge number because you won't be able to do it by putting yourself down and telling yourself you'll never make it or that it will take too long.
  • downtome
    downtome Posts: 529 Member
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    Thank you all! I knew you would understand what I'm feeling and respond with kind words and support. I think you all are right about the mini goals, I think it will make it much easier on me and my sanity during this whole process and it just seems so much more attainable. I can do this and the best part is, I finally want to do this. With my recent divorce and feeling not wanted and useless it's what I need right now and always to feel better about myself. It's been so long since I have cared about taking an interest in losing weight and taking care of myself. I'm on my way and it feels great! Thank you, Thank you, Thank you. You all are wonderful with big hearts.
    hugs:)
  • alisons7598
    alisons7598 Posts: 162 Member
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    I know exactly how you feel! I have well over 100 lbs to lose (about 150) and I've only lost 12. Some days I feel so tired from thinking about what I want to eat compared to what I SHOULD eat. And although I've started using my wii to exercise and really look forward to it some days it feels so much harder then it's worth. I feel like I'm never going to get there, I'm never going to be happy with myself again. I just keep plugging along and vent to whomever I need to and that helps get me back on track. I know we both will succeed and get to where we want to be. Like you said 12 or 13lbs just seems so little in the long process but those numbers will get bigger and bigger the more we work to make it happen. Keep up the good work!!!
  • downtome
    downtome Posts: 529 Member
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    If any of you would like to befriend me for motivating one another, I would love that! Thank you.
  • ehlderanna
    ehlderanna Posts: 24
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    I'm struggling with this very same thing. A friend helped me a little with it. I had just lost 10 pounds and I had nothing to show for it, and he said to me, "Go to the grocery store and pick-up a 10 bag of flour....walk around with it for awhile." I did...and I couldn't believe how heavy it was. It wasn't heavy to pick up...but I walked around the store with it...and I was so tired....

    I'm not saying it helps with the body image in the mirror...but I like knowing I'm not carrying around that flour bag all the time...
  • MyWishfulShrinking
    MyWishfulShrinking Posts: 56
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    I have way over 100 pounds to lose, and I've lost 20 so far. To other people that would be a lot. But that's not even enough for me to notice a difference.. Maybe once I hit 50 pounds lost other people AND me will be able to see the loss.
  • Debtappe
    Debtappe Posts: 164 Member
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    I once read in an essay that fat does not thrive in an atmosphere of happiness. The more we criticize ourselves the more we struggle to lose. Let happiness in - happiness with who you are, happiness with what is right with you. You are a lovely woman, I know because I saw your picture. I know 13 pounds can seem a drop in the bucket but you are more than 10% of the way there. No doubt, you will be 20% of the way there by Valentines day and 30% by Easter. When swimsuit season rolls around you will be more than 50% towards your goal. This is totally doable.
  • ljbouse
    ljbouse Posts: 129
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    i have about 50 lbs that i would like to lose, and it is a struggle to me. my husband wont diet with me. i work 10 hours a day and have a child to come home and care for plus household duties that only i seem to be able to do. finding time to exercise, track my calories, and input everything in to MFP gets so hard and discouraging. as you can tell from my history i have not been very good at it. BUT my changes are slowly coming together. although i have not been on MFP nor have i counted my calories, for the past month i have been careful of what i ate and i exercised everyday for 45 - 60 mins. i am staying positive. the small steps are the best ones to take to make the changes last. We will reach our goals!!!!
  • ThePhatMan
    ThePhatMan Posts: 49
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    Hi, many people are in the same boat. I have 159 lbs to lose.There are times that I just want to give up and stop. That's pretty much daily.Then I realize that I just want something fat and greasy or sweet to eat. Excuses are no longer acceptable to me. I know I will go off my calories at times, but I will fight to bring myself back to reality. This will be a life time process and this is just the beginning. I weigh myself once a month, this helps me be less stressed. I just think of what i can do to stay focussed, eat better and move daily. Try and get people around you that will support you and that you can talk with openly. This will help with the self doubt. Good Luck to you and to me me. Maybe a year from now will both be at the weight we want to be at.
  • JulieBoBoo
    JulieBoBoo Posts: 642
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    I figure a year is going to pass whether I change or not... I'd rather make the change and wake up healthier a year from now than give up and wake up a year from now disappointed in myself and possibly on even more medication.

    Somedays it is hard to keep the big picture in mind. I think what helps me most is that I am really am looking at this like a lifelong way I will choose to eat and exercise. I don't really see my goal as something other than a "I think this is a weight I'll be able to maintain easily and be healthy and happy at." I don't plan on actually ever stopping though I might not log in my food every day forever.
  • AdamATGATT
    AdamATGATT Posts: 573 Member
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    A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. - Lao-tzu.

    A lot of it is mental, so try not to think of it as 150 lbs to lose. That is your ultimate goal, but it doesn't mean it has to be what you're focusing on right now.

    I like eating up miles on my motorcycle. It's calming to me. On my first time out on a longish trip, some of the days looked daunting. 800 miles in one day? When I looked at it like that, it sounded pretty difficult, especially on a new bike, by myself, in states and on roads I had never traveled before. But, I began to look at it in smaller bits. I wasn't riding 800 miles. I was only riding 200 miles till my next gas stop, or lunch, or that famous landmark I've been wanting to see. I broke down those miles into easier chunks, which made my goals seem easier to obtain. Once I reached my mini-goal, I set my sights on the next and pushed on through. I never set a schedule for myself, so I never became disappointed if I missed having lunch at 1:00 PM. Traffic, detours, and other things got in the way...but that's life. It happens. I continued to focus on my smaller goals so I could reach my destination.

    You'll get where you're going too. Goodluck!
  • ready2losew8
    ready2losew8 Posts: 16
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    I can understand how you feel because it is a battle and a struggle, but I keep telling myself that I didn't get this way overnight and unfortunately, I'm not going to be where I want to overnight either. Trust me, I've tried all the quick fixes, bought things of informercials, taken this pill and that pill, but they never worked, so I am right here with you trying to eat better and workout because over the years, I've finally realized slow and steady is what wins the race and keeps it off. Also when I don't feel like working out, I remind myself that even if I go for one hour, this is only one out of a 24 hour day and it gets me moving because I realize I am the only one that can make this change for myself. You might not see the changes for awhile, but I try to convince myself that they will come eventually. Dont' be discouraged that they aren't coming fast enough, try to celebrate each and every pound or inch you lose because it really is a great accomplishment and will be well worth it in the end. We all are here for you and hear your struggle, but we will make it. If we get off track we just need to pull ourselves up and try again tomorrow. Good luck, you can do it :)
  • melanie92
    melanie92 Posts: 184 Member
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    You said: "I guess I just didn't care about me, well I do now and that is whats important"

    Yes it is! That is the most important thing! Also - the begining is the hardest, because only you know that you have lost weight. Even family that you might share it with, to them 13 pounds may not be a lot - but it's Huge!! And soon you will have to buy new clothes because your clothes won't fit anymore! Also - don't forget to take your measurements. That will help connect the reality in your head. I keep everything in a spreadsheet, and it's really neat to look back and see all of the numbers steadily going down.

    Cheer up Sweetie! It will get better, then it will be the best!! :happy:

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