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MyFitnessPal Community

Am I obsessed with dieting? Is that really all that bad???

kcm105

Sorry, this one is a little long...

People close to me are starting to think I'm a little obsessed with diet and exercise. And maybe I am. So what?

I don't feel obsessed. I feel FOCUSED.

I'm really sick of people saying things like "oh, one cookie won't hurt." They're right, one cookie won't hurt. And I've certainly had my share of cookies since I started my most recent weight loss journey. But what they don't understand is that one cookie every time I'm offered a cookie WILL hurt. I have to learn to say no on a consistent basis and save the yeses for the special occasions on which I actually deserve a cookie!

What people don't understand is that if I were a person who could just have a cookie and get on with my life, I wouldn't be in this position in the first place. I also don't have the wherewithal to skip a few workouts then just hop right back on the fitness bandwagon. I have to be 100% focused or it just doesn't work for me.

Is this a bad thing? I say no. I'm not unhappy. I don't actually obsess over what I eat or what workout I'm doing tonight. If I go over on calories here and there I don't beat myself up. If I don't lose for a week or two, life goes on. But I'm never NOT thinking about it either. It's an angel (or devil) on my shoulder, with me at all times, making sure I don't forget how I got here in the first place. Keeping me focused!!!!!

Replies

dmenchac

I know exactly how you feel. There is a difference between being focused and being obsessed

J_adoreDior_

=] :laugh: The weak/lazy call it an obsession, but it’s just plain ol dedication.
My peers/ friends say the same about me ... I guess they really don't know what consistency look like.
! :glasses:

SoDamnHungry

What people don't understand is that if I were a person who could just have a cookie and get on with my life, I wouldn't be in this position in the first place. I also don't have the wherewithal to skip a few workouts then just hop right back on the fitness bandwagon. I have to be 100% focused or it just doesn't work for me.

I'm actually going to say that this ISN'T good. Don't get me wrong, it sounds like you're doing alright, and focus is good. But try making fitness part of your life rather than a bandwagon you're on, and you WILL be able to skip a few workouts and hop right back on because it's your lifestyle, not just something you're 100% focused on until you finally fall off. I've been working out at least twice a week for three years now and if I want to take a week off, it's easy enough to get started the next week since it's part of my life now.

loubidy

Yip >:( I went on a night out and chose to drive because I couldn't afford to waste so many calories on alcohol at that time. The looks people gave me when my answer to not drinking was that I was loosing weight were hideous so I started saying I had to drive early in the morning and didn't want to get done for drink driving.

In terms of food I have needed to just get rude. No I don't want one.

kcm105

What people don't understand is that if I were a person who could just have a cookie and get on with my life, I wouldn't be in this position in the first place. I also don't have the wherewithal to skip a few workouts then just hop right back on the fitness bandwagon. I have to be 100% focused or it just doesn't work for me.

I'm actually going to say that this ISN'T good. Don't get me wrong, it sounds like you're doing alright, and focus is good. But try making fitness part of your life rather than a bandwagon you're on, and you WILL be able to skip a few workouts and hop right back on because it's your lifestyle, not just something you're 100% focused on until you finally fall off. I've been working out at least twice a week for three years now and if I want to take a week off, it's easy enough to get started the next week since it's part of my life now.

I don't disagree, but I have to get to that place by being 100% on board for awhile. I realize that such a strict workout regimen is unsustainable in the long run, but until I feel like working out is just something I do, that it's part of my lifestyle, I have to focus on making it happen consistently. I hope to get to where you are someday, but I'm not there yet.

eileen0515

Dedication and focus has been my mantra as I have achieved my goals. If someone wants to call that obsessive, maybe they should examine their own health and fitness efforts. I call it success! And...a self created lifestyle to be proud of.

monicapatituccijones

People are self-focused. They don't realize you're being offered cookies all day long.

euronorris

People are self-focused. They don't realize you're being offered cookies all day long.

This.

Also, having others join in with their guilty pleasure makes them feel less guilty about indulging themselves.

ninerbuff

Obsessive would be having something be more important than ANYTHING else in your life. So if you're not that concerned about going over here and there, then I wouldn't think it's obsession.

One thing that can be bad though is that some people who get focused on weight loss become criticizers of others and their lifestyles. If that refusal of a cookie is all you do, then fine, but if it becomes "do you know what you're really eating?" remark, then it could be a problem.

A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

MinnieInMaine

I think it's about perspective and perception...

You're super focused right now and that's working for you but since it's not your "normal" behavior, it's going to seem odd and maybe even disconcerting to those around you and be perceived as an obsession. Also, if it's all you talk about and you're always on your phone logging or looking up calories/nutrtional info, that might be getting annoying and comes off as obsessive.

On the other hand, similar to what's mentioned above, some folks may be wishing they were as focused and determined as you but as they're not ready to put in the effort, it's easier to make it seem like what you're doing is out of the ordinary and therefore call it an "obsession".

Not knowing you or your friends, it's hard to say but these seem to be the typical reasons.

ETA: When asked if you want a cookie, just say no thanks and if they insist maybe say someting like "I just ate, I'm ok, really, but thanks", rinse repeat. Don't mention that you're counting calories or trying to lose weight

broox80

People tell me I am obsessed. I tell them to suck it!!!

Beezil

The light is either on or it's off... for me, that is. I think many people are that way. It's either 100% or none. If I can't do something right, I usually just shut down and say screw it, which is a ****ty way to handle a lot of things in life, but one's health is not one of those things, imo...

sodakat

You can accept the cookie then set it down somewhere, or take a nibble and set it down. I don't think people really care all as much as we think. My husband never finishes anything he eats and will "forget" to eat. Sometimes he just wants to share something he has that is really good with me, and if I just nibble it and say how good it is, that is enough. Sometimes I really don't want any of the item because I don't think one piece will be enough. Then I say "not now, maybe later".

ottermotorcycle

You're making a big change, and it's probably quite different from the way you used to be. You're somehow not the same "you" that they always loved, so they say you're obsessed with your new life... but you've made a lifestyle change, and you have conviction. They'll get used to it.

You've got your head on straight, OP. You're not saying "I can't eat any cookies ever." You're saying "Cookies are not helping me get closer to my goals, so I will limit my intake of them."

jennbuck22

I think it's great you are so focused.

I too have been totally focused this past month! The thing is, if I'm not totally focused I won't succeed. Call it obsessed, that's fine! Being obsessed about a healthier lifestyle sounds fantastic to me.............And if you are anything like me, you've had enough cookies in the past to last you a lifetime;)

I've only told my husband, best friend, 1 coworker and my mom about my "diet". Because honestly I don't want anyone else's opinion!

When someone asks me if I want pizza or a cookie, I just say oh I brought my lunch or I had a huge breakfast. No need for them to know my business. Hopefully they will know soon enough when these pounds come off:)

nineteentwenty

People mistake discipline for obsession to make a point all the time, it just means that your progress and dedication to your program is remarkable enough for them to notice

Keep up the good work!

lindabeth333

I am also feeling very focused - could feel slightly obsessed - but just starting and need to lose over 100 pounds - I have a lot to learn and many new habits to embrace - it is time consuming to exercise, cook healthy and track what I am eating but I feel that right now - this is my priority and its ok that others have to figure out that things have changed. Keep going!

kcm105

I am also feeling very focused - could feel slightly obsessed - but just starting and need to lose over 100 pounds - I have a lot to learn and many new habits to embrace - it is time consuming to exercise, cook healthy and track what I am eating but I feel that right now - this is my priority and its ok that others have to figure out that things have changed. Keep going!

You're right. It is time consuming. I think that's a lot of what people don't understand. Planning meals, cooking, weighing/measuring everything, logging, exercise. It's not something I can just dabble in. I wish I was someone who could just make smart choices on my own, but I'm not.

So good to hear I'm not crazy! Well, not too crazy anyway. :happy:

cwolfman13

There is a fine line between living a lifestyle that is fitness and nutritionally driven and turning that into an unhealthy obsession. If you feel guilty about missing a workout here and there or feel guilty about eating certain foods, etc you are probably at minimum on the obsession side of things.

Nutrition and fitness are very important, but life is all about balance...these things should be a part of your life...and a big one to boot, but they shouldn't be all consuming. You are not going to be 100% bang on all of the time...you just aren't. You're going to miss workouts...**** happens...sometimes you just don't feel good, sometimes work or other obligations get in the way...sometimes you just need a breather...if you can accept these things as inevitibilities and move on then it's really no biggie and it's not going to be an issue to resume your fitness regimen the next day or week or whatever. People who overly obsess tend to get derailed and defeated by such inevitibilities because they really haven't learned how to have a healthy relationship with their fitness and they're not really seeing the bigger picture that is the whole of their lifestyle...they're stuck in the minutia.

psuLemon

There is a fine line between living a lifestyle that is fitness and nutritionally driven and turning that into an unhealthy obsession. If you feel guilty about missing a workout here and there or feel guilty about eating certain foods, etc you are probably at minimum on the obsession side of things.

Nutrition and fitness are very important, but life is all about balance...these things should be a part of your life...and a big one to boot, but they shouldn't be all consuming. You are not going to be 100% bang on all of the time...you just aren't. You're going to miss workouts...**** happens...sometimes you just don't feel good, sometimes work or other obligations get in the way...sometimes you just need a breather...if you can accept these things as inevitibilities and move on then it's really no biggie and it's not going to be an issue to resume your fitness regimen the next day or week or whatever. People who overly obsess tend to get derailed and defeated by such inevitibilities because they really haven't learned how to have a healthy relationship with their fitness and they're not really seeing the bigger picture that is the whole of their lifestyle...they're stuck in the minutia.

This is what I would say too. Fitness and health is not just for a specific amount of time and if you stop yourself from enjoying special occasions, then it's an issue. My friend is leaving my company this week and you better bet I will be slamming down on some Korean BBQ like its my job. Does that happen often.. nope, so when it does happen, I want to enjoy it. Will I lose this week, probably not, but it's ok because eating with my friend is more important than losing every week. Now do I make better decisions when I go out to dinner with my wife or friends.. absolutely. I try to prelog calories to make sure i hit my needs and fit within my goals. If it's restaurant not in the database, then I aim for stuff like fish/steak and veggies and estimate.

rondaj05

You're making a big change, and it's probably quite different from the way you used to be. You're somehow not the same "you" that they always loved, so they say you're obsessed with your new life... but you've made a lifestyle change, and you have conviction. They'll get used to it.

You've got your head on straight, OP. You're not saying "I can't eat any cookies ever." You're saying "Cookies are not helping me get closer to my goals, so I will limit my intake of them."

mereditheve

Wait -- you all get offered cookies all day? I must be doing something wrong.... :frown:

Seriously though, I know how you feel -- I travel for work regularly and it's tough sometimes being the only health-conscious person as we determine where to have team dinners. It can be a slippery slope if you don't stick to your health and fitness routine. Dessert one night turns into dessert every night, then dessert with every meal... which is exactly what you're trying not to do. At the end of the day, the only one accountable for your health is you.

brandi_kae

There is some satisfaction in saying, "no thank-you" to those cookies, though...isn't there? And you don't have to elaborate. A polite refusal will do.

corgarian

If it's an obsession, call me obsessed.

I have it easier, because the people I surround myself with are just as determined as myself, but I really really care about what goes into my body.

I KNOW that whenevr I eat junk food (like last night lol) I feel like poop after. Not only did I put empty calories in my body, but since I'm so accustomed to eating right that it made me feel sick on top of it.

Other people are going to make you feel bead because they dont have the willpower that you do and their jealous.

Haters gunna hate.

lindabeth333

I am also feeling very focused - could feel slightly obsessed - but just starting and need to lose over 100 pounds - I have a lot to learn and many new habits to embrace - it is time consuming to exercise, cook healthy and track what I am eating but I feel that right now - this is my priority and its ok that others have to figure out that things have changed. Keep going!

You're right. It is time consuming. I think that's a lot of what people don't understand. Planning meals, cooking, weighing/measuring everything, logging, exercise. It's not something I can just dabble in. I wish I was someone who could just make smart choices on my own, but I'm not.

So good to hear I'm not crazy! Well, not too crazy anyway. :happy:

I am trusting that as I learn what I need and get into the habits - that it won't require so much effort, focus and energy but will just become a way of life. Its like learning a new language - at first it is hard but at some point it just becomes part of who you are and you don't realize that you aren't translating - you are purely understanding…. A little crazy is good (and normal)! Stay focused.

Fedup23

Some people need a reality check... every time someone says something that you dont agree with or makes a comment that doesnt sit well with you it doesnt mean they are jealous of your "strength" or they are "hating on you". Use some of that determination and strength to better your self image , you will realize that the world isnt against you.

"You" isnt directed at any one individual, just a general observance.

kdeaux1959

Obsession, by definition, is when we become so focused on something that it gets in the way of other important parts of our life. Is our exercise time more important than our family? Is our diet more important than spending a Thanksgiving meal with family and friends? If whatever we do becomes a distraction to life itself then perhaps it is a little overboard. Otherwise, the world does not understand our choices because they are not choices they are making... Forgive the analogy but don't expect a room full of fat people and/or people who can eat a house and not gain a pound to cheer you on in something they know in their own mind that they need to engage themselves into as well.

lauraf130490

I think the very nature of being of being on a calorie restricted diet makes people appear a bit sad or obsessive. You have to look at and log the calories in everything you eat, weigh and measure food, say no to foods which are too high in calories etc etc It can appear quite unhealthy to someone who isn't used to dieting.

I'll admit when I first started on mfp, I was trying to stick to 1300, and because I found it so difficult and restrictive it did become somewhat of an obsession. It was all I thought about, I used to feel incredibly guilty if I ever ate over my calories or missed a work out. If I didn't lose weight one week I would feel so depressed and almost give it up all together.

I've increased my calories to 1600 and now I'm a lot more relaxed about the whole thing. I go out every so often and eat and drink what ever I want. I sometimes skip the gym or go over my calories and I don't beat myself up about it because I now look at the bigger picture. It's a lifestyle change, not a diet.

You're always going to get people who won't understand what you are doing or are negative, but it's saying yes to every bit of food you're offered or given that gets a lot of people into this mess. At work I get offered snacks, chocolate, sweets or cakes pretty much on a daily basis, it was saying yes every time that caused me to gain over a stone in less than 6 months after starting my job. If I say no once in a while or only have a small amount and that pisses people off or makes them think I'm obsessed then so be it. I'm not trying to impress people or make them think I'm high and mighty I'm trying to lose weight and be healthier and happier.

dortilolma

Everyone is different and for some people perhaps they do need to get a little bit 'obsessed' just to get started. I do need to be a bit obsessed in order to be motivated - I know I feel better when I run in the morning and I'm a bit slimmer but I find it very hard unless I'm all in. The idea is that after a few months the smaller portions and running 3-5 times a week just become part of my every day life but until that happens I'm going to have to be a little 'obsessed'.

That being said I do keep an eye on my self and the only other two people who know I'm working to lose weight (my fiancee and mother) do the same. With a history of eating disorders I do have to be careful - perhaps we all have to be careful.

If we start feeling guilty or beating our selves up for not working out or going a little over we might need to take a step back and think about what is causing that guilt.

Beckilovespizza

I'm totally obsessed with my diet and exercise regime. For me it's an all or nothing situation... I broke my hand last Sunday so as I'm not allowed to workout at the gym I laid on the sofa last week eating cake. This week I went back to work and realised as I cannot drive I had to walk the 90 minute round trip to work... Due to the walking and calorie burn i'm back on it and truly obsessed again. Good for u I think, better to be preoccupied with health rather than food