So what's really holding you back?

ninerbuff
ninerbuff Posts: 49,026 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
Just a spin off a thread I started this morning.

We all get complacent at times, but for some there ALWAYS seems to be obstacles that stop them in their tracks, but they don't either acknowledge them or identify them.

So I'll start: Why am I not at my "goal" yet? I haven't committed it to it 100%. I've given more time to clients and family than concentrate specifically on all the details I need to "dial it in". My goal is 6% BF (which is why my weight is pretty low) and I was that the last time I competed. Personally I'm doing it just to say I can still do it. It may take the rest of the year, but I WILL get there.

A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

Replies

  • zoeysasha37
    zoeysasha37 Posts: 7,088 Member
    Thank you for taking the time to help others though, it's nice to know that I have someone I can ask questions and will get good advice :-)

    Personally, I think what holds me back is my own self doubting. Every time I plan out trying something new, I get so nervous that I set myself up for failure. Then I just stay with the same old routine. I truly know that the only way I'll get to my goal (14%bf) is to work for it and stop setting myself up for failure!! I have to learn to try new things that are out of my comfort zone!

    Thanks for the post, as always, your a big help to everyone and are greatly appreciated! :-)
  • hiyomi
    hiyomi Posts: 906 Member
    Basically the same, I am comitted, but not 100%. I always tend to eat a lot more on weekends, which does hold me back quite a bit.
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    something in my thinking. but i'm unsure what. might be fear of being vulnerable, which makes no sense because when I'm fit I will be stronger but there is this image in my head of the fit me being weaker and more vulerable due to being smaller and also due to drawing more attention. something like that.
  • RobsGirl_lds
    RobsGirl_lds Posts: 211 Member
    I don't know what my true goal is! This indecision is keeping me from setting a plan of action and committing.
  • SKME2013
    SKME2013 Posts: 704 Member
    The love for food is holding me back. I just like eating!

    Until about four months ago when I started trying to lose weight, I did eat whatever I wanted whenever I wanted. For most of my life I was underweight! Over the last couple of years the weight crept up slowly and so I decided that I wanted to lose 8kg.

    The biggest problem I am facing now is that I am constantly thinking about my diet, how and what to improve, what to not eat - in short my life is now run by thoughts about food and fitness and I HATE it!

    The biggest revelation for me was that from now on I can NEVER EVER again eat as I did before without thinking constantly about the consequences.

    This is how alcoholics must feel: never ever again a drop of alcohol! In my case never again eating unconsciously.

    Stef.
  • Lyadeia
    Lyadeia Posts: 4,603 Member
    I don't know what my true goal is! This indecision is keeping me from setting a plan of action and committing.

    This was sooo ME until the middle of February this year. I *thought* my goal was to lose fat and get a physique like fitness competitors have, and I'd even write out these plans to get there and would stick to them for a couple of weeks before venturing off into la-la land. When I finally figured out what it was that I really wanted, I have stuck to the nutrition, stuck to the training, and lo and behold, I am losing fat like never before (even though that's not my goal anymore, it's really just a side effect of good eatin' and training!)

    Back to the OP, I think what is holding me back now (even though I am continuing to move forward) is my own mind games that I subconsciously play that usually have the same plot line...comparing myself to others. I compare my running to people who have being doing it and competing for years. I compare my physical self to models. It's so stupid to do that. I have been trying to teach myself to only compare myself to what I was yesterday and to improve everyday...but my human brain looks at hot bodies on the beach and whines about not being "there" yet. But I am pushing past this. It's just taking time.
  • Phrick
    Phrick Posts: 2,765 Member
    Personally, I think what holds me back is my own self doubting. Every time I plan out trying something new, I get so nervous that I set myself up for failure.

    This a million times over. If I'm not doing perfection, in my mind I've failed. Sometimes, often times, before I've even begun.
  • 1ZenGirl
    1ZenGirl Posts: 432 Member
    Fear of failure
  • zoeysasha37
    zoeysasha37 Posts: 7,088 Member
    Personally, I think what holds me back is my own self doubting. Every time I plan out trying something new, I get so nervous that I set myself up for failure.

    This a million times over. If I'm not doing perfection, in my mind I've failed. Sometimes, often times, before I've even begun.

    Yes!! Exactly what I meant. I feel like if I'm not perfect at something I should give up and go back to what I know. And I'll never move forward thinking like this. I'm used to not taking any chances cuz I'm scared of failure
  • Iwishyouwell
    Iwishyouwell Posts: 1,888 Member
    I actually think I've been dealing with some fear of SUCCESS issues.

    I loathed being fat. But even with all that, it was a pretty damn good covering and excuse. When the fat is gone, you can't blame the road not traveled any more on the "cuz I am fat" excuse.

    I'm very on track now, but there have been stalls. I've been at the cusp of my lowest adult weight for awhile now. And since I'm a very introspective person who works hard to remain honest with self, I did detect some low level apprehensions about going beyond my previous lowest weight, and getting to a really lean, "dream" body level. It's extremely exciting, but there is some fear there too. Often is with new chapters.
  • TehBuggers
    TehBuggers Posts: 12 Member
    For me it's being alone.

    I wasn't overweight at all when I started, but I knew I was gaining weight and wanted to lose some. I didn't have as much energy, I was sleeping poorly, etc. Also, since my weight loss goal is smaller I didn't want to tell anyone I was trying to lose weight because I don't think it will be that noticeable physically.

    Using the forums here has helped me a lot though, and I don't feel so alone.
  • Cappuccino2014
    Cappuccino2014 Posts: 16
    I think something for me is a fear if what I would expect of myself if I hit my goal. Also a fear that I'll get unwell if I eat to deficit... A close family member has type 1 diabetes which due to complications is and was when I was growing up very difficult to control. Lack of food therefore meant hypo, illness and panic in the family... I think that's a part of why I get scared when I get hungry or why I eat to 'feel better' physically or emotionally.

    Thanks for asking that question..I've never committed this thought to paper/ had it clear in my mind before now.
  • Kitship
    Kitship Posts: 579 Member
    Yep, it's the all or nothing thing for me.

    Luckily, these last few weeks it has been "all", which will hopefully keep me motivated!
  • jdhoward_101
    jdhoward_101 Posts: 234 Member
    I love the instant gratification you get when eating. And i use it to make me feel better in bad situations. I just don't have the willpower to resist it sometimes, and unfortunately it usually lasts for a few days before i get it under control again.
  • Branstin
    Branstin Posts: 2,320 Member
    At the present nothing is holding me back. However, in the past I worked full-time, operated a household, raise 2 sons as a single parent, and earned three college degrees so time was very tight for me. Another past problem for me was I wanted the weight off right then and there and wasn't willing to take the time to educate myself on the proper way to lose weight and maintain it.
  • RockWarrior84
    RockWarrior84 Posts: 840 Member
    I make excuses or use others to get out of being 100% committed.
  • 18minutesorless
    18minutesorless Posts: 13
    I love the instant gratification you get when eating. And i use it to make me feel better in bad situations. I just don't have the willpower to resist it sometimes, and unfortunately it usually lasts for a few days before i get it under control again.

    I agree with this 100%. Whenever I'm stressed or under a lot of pressure it's so hard not to give in and it also takes me a few days to get back on track...then the cycle repeats itself. I'm not sure what I can do other than avoiding stressful situations. Somedays it feels like I lack any willpower unfortunately. And some days I feel like I have so far to go so what difference will a day make. I definitely need to correct my thinking on this.

    61468043.png
  • AliceDark
    AliceDark Posts: 3,886 Member
    Fear of being judged by other people. It's dumb and I know it, and it's 100% of what is holding me back. There's a killer old-school lifters' gym in my city and I would love to go train there, and I'm too scared to walk in the door.
  • Unknown
    Unknown
    This content has been removed.
  • Frostyfrozenpants
    Frostyfrozenpants Posts: 4 Member
    Fear of Failure
    Do not know what I truly want to do
    Afraid when I get fit I will still be unhappy with life

    & Keep telling myself I've committed to changing but never acting like it, still eating crap and drinking *kitten*.

    Keep telling myself I should be out and about but living basically an agoraphobic lifestyle hiding in a room because it's easier than facing a negative world.

    I want to change and get my life back to a 'normal' can go out and have fun and not feel ashamed of self style of living, but everytime I tell myself what I need to do to change I don't do it and I don't know why.
  • hitsnooze
    hitsnooze Posts: 79
    hmmm nothing at the moment because i've relaxed a little

    but usually my frustration and impatience of not seeing the numbers drop RIGHT NOW THIS SECOND THIS MINUTE, holds me back because if it doesn't work straight away, i drop it and start eating next to nothing

    this time i'm taking it slow
  • margelizard
    margelizard Posts: 89 Member
    My attitude toward myself is definitely most of what holds me back. I have a lot of self doubt. I am very hard on myself and set standards that are ridiculously high then berate myself when I don't reach them. Then I self doubt more.

    Although I beat myself up, I am making crazy good progress. My weight loss is slowing down, but I'm getting better at accepting it and understanding that it's a result of what I'm doing that is causing it. That, in turn, allows me to understand myself better and work toward small, achievable goals.

    Right now I am super motivated to workout and eat healthier since I want to beat 147lbs by May 6th (the date I move back to Scotland!) :)
  • Moun10Top
    Moun10Top Posts: 3
    My love of eating out, drinking a margarita or a side car on Fridays and Saturday nights, and the thrill of eating dessert. It would help if I had someone to work out with. I've tried to get friends to join the local gym with me, but alas, I am on my own in this struggle and must take action and hold myself accountable. I work out at home now on a mini trampoline, and I'm renewing my efforts to eat and drink less of what I love.

Categories