the criticism... AH!

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Mhaney
Mhaney Posts: 467 Member
in Motivation and Support
Okay so a few people have learned about me trying to lose weight now, which was bound to happen. I've had several ask me rather invasive questions like how much do i weigh, what size I am, things like that. The next response is "I don't believe you, you don't look like it."

WHY would I lie to make myself weigh more than I do?! I am 5 foot 6 and started this at 200 pounds now I'm at 193.8. I was in a size 18 now I'm comfortably in a 16. I've had at least 3 people tell me there's no way i weigh that much, and I look like a size 12, and I need to stop trying to lose weight because I'm giong to look sick.

I've just decided to stop telling people about my weight loss. those few pounds I lost, I was proud of. I guess I carry it differently than what most other people are used to and that's why they don't see it. It's just really frustrating to be told to stop by people I care about. *I* know where I carry the weight, *I* know that it needs to go, *I* know it'll make me feel better once it's gone.

Sorry, I just needed to rant, and if I put this anywhere else on the internet, those people will see it!
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Replies

  • Bigpelly8
    Bigpelly8 Posts: 504 Member
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    Ahh...I think we all deal with this. The people who just don't get it!! Well...we get it, so great job!!!
  • neelia
    neelia Posts: 750 Member
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    I am in the same boat! I wear a size 14 and when people ask me what size I wear they say "No way! You don't look bigger than a 10!". UUUUMMMM yes, I do. I definitely do. They are obviously not familiar with female sizing or sizing charts.

    Don't let other people get you down, though. You are doing this for YOU. YOU are the one that is unhappy about YOUR weight so YOU should be proud of YOURSELF for trying. YOU can do this!
  • schpanks
    schpanks Posts: 468 Member
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    You know that as long as you're trying to maintain healthy weight goals, you'll always have support here. Way to go on your weight loss so far!
  • helloiloveukitty
    helloiloveukitty Posts: 448 Member
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    I try to think about all the invasive questions as misguided compliments and odd encouragement.

    What really bugs me is loved ones who try to feed me "treats" because I'm doing so well and deserve it lol, cookies / cake / ice cream / ect got me this fat *kitten*, I'm to going to reward myself with them thankyouverymuch
  • myukniewicz
    myukniewicz Posts: 906 Member
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    i understand where you are coming from. i have heard the line "you don't need to loose weight" more times than i care too. i just stopped telling people that i am watching my weight.

    congratulations on your weight loss so far!!! keep up the great work :)
  • Desiree219
    Desiree219 Posts: 28
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    People are so rude sometimes. I don't see why they think they have the right to interrogate you about your weight/diet. I've had something similar happen to me. I started out at 240 and I am only 5'2"...I'm now 197.4, and people are noticing, mostly in a good way. But then I tell them I still have almost 70 pounds to lose and most people freak out. "You don't need to lose that much! You'll make yourself sick! You'll look anorexic! You should only go down to about 150." Um....excuse me? Was there a point where I asked you for your input on the matter??? 130 is in the "normal" weight range for my height and age. Both of my sisters are around that weight and the same height as I am, and they are both healthy...not to mention the fact that my "ideal weight" is 95-115 (which I think is absolutely ridiculous! I'm a grown woman, not a 14 year old.) Anyway, I say you should just tell them to butt out. YOU know your body and what you need to do for your well-being.

    Hehe, sorry for the venting...
  • treetz1979
    treetz1979 Posts: 108 Member
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    I know what you mean. You and I are almost the same height/weight and I get the same feedback (about not "looking that fat"). I tried to not make a big deal about changing my lifestyle and losing weight because I don't want to hear it anymore than I already do.

    Going to the doctors office is the worse....they start weighing me at 160. I try to politely tell them, "no, higher than that". Than they go to 180. And when I tell them higher yet, they're like "really?!?!, you don't look like it!". Yeah, thanks. I am not sure why people think that's a compliment. For me, I think people telling me I don't look "that fat" is what helped me feel so comfortable at being so unhealthy.

    Funny thing is, now that I lost about 17 lbs nobody has said or noticed any of it!!! Which is equally as frustrating. Maybe it has to do with our body shape/structure....we don't look our weight, and it's going to be difficult to notice when the weight starts coming off (?)
  • lmvince
    lmvince Posts: 54 Member
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    **gasp**

    In some way, they feel they're giving you a compliment. Instead, they should just say "Great!" or "Good luck to you".

    I don't mind people telling me I look smaller than I really am....but it annoys me when people say "you should lose..." or "you can't hide that gut"
  • ironmule2042
    ironmule2042 Posts: 103
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    I totally understand. I've lost 50 pounds since I started this almost 20 months ago and I always have people who start with the 'You look great' compliment and then continue it with the 'but you lose any more and you'll be too thin' comment. I just brush it off and say thanks, because I know they are only trying to encourage and that I appreciate.
  • chickadee2010
    chickadee2010 Posts: 1,389 Member
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    I COMPLETELY get what you're saying! I've had that problem too.
  • Charlie001
    Charlie001 Posts: 354
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    i WOULD NOT BOTHER ANSWERING. It does not change anything. Next time someone askes you how much you weigh.......simply answer........L.E.S.S.!
  • bkrbabe57
    bkrbabe57 Posts: 395 Member
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    I have lost 64 pounds so people are asking ALL kinds of questions. When they ask me how much I have lost I just smile and say
    " a lot" they usually don't know what to say and just agree that it looks like I have lost a lot, some people then tell me I look great.
    I don't bother the tell anyone that I would like to drop 30 to 40 more pounds. They really don't need to know.
  • lynzyn
    lynzyn Posts: 119 Member
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    Sizes are deceiving what is a size? What is the correct size these days? Some clothes for me are Large others are medium other XL ....Pants for me go from 14-18 depending on the make .....I never look my size according to others wtv i say i am comfortable in my skin and that is it....They r the ones who r not comfortable with u looking and being a certain way after weight loss so girl do ur thing man good luck....Keep doing what u r doing....Loosing weight is awesome....

    Tell these peeps to mind their own business in a nice way of course and walk away...
  • ashleynicoleb
    ashleynicoleb Posts: 376 Member
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    I completely understand and agree with you. Other people have no right to tell you that you don't need to lose weight and that you can't possibly weigh as much as you told them. Only you are the judge of your body and you are the one to make the decisions about how to treat your body. Do it for YOU :)
  • TateFTW
    TateFTW Posts: 658 Member
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    People always say stuff like that. It gets really bad when you really are smaller. People think I'm crazy when I say I'm losing weight, but I could lose 30 lbs and still be a healthy weight. Evidently, due to the fact that I'm not obese I'm not allowed to try to cut more fat.

    Really, people are just trying to be nice and deal best they can with an awkward situation. Nonetheless, it's annoying.
  • Pril2000
    Pril2000 Posts: 254 Member
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    Yeah. At my heaviest I was 220. I'm 5'9" and most everyone was all, "You don't weigh that much!" or "You really don't look it", I see those pictures of me then and there's no way in heck that people "didn't see it". I was overweight. I was round. I know because of my height, I did carry it a little better... until I hit 200. I think then it was a little more obvious. Now, I'm back down to 165 and only 5 lbs from my goal weight. I look like a completely different person, but I look like I had always looked before I gained all that weight. So I'm happy and I think that other people will stop asking questions like that when they see how happy you are.

    I think that being overweight has become more acceptable in the past few years because so many people are overweight and they feel like it's easier to accept it than to change it. Now, being "skinny" is not normal. If you want to look think and healthy, people get threatened and say things like, "You'll look sick". What they really are thinking is, "You'll be thinner than me and I'll feel insecure around you". Don't let it keep you from achieving your goals.
  • IamRoJ
    IamRoJ Posts: 530 Member
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    This happens to be a great deal as well - even as a "thin" athlete, and when people were telling me I looked anorexic (God, did that really ever happen???), I was 20 lbs heavier than the books said I should weigh. Now, I'm significantly overweight, and people still feel the need to inquire etc. I just try and make myself feel better by reminding myself that they are trying to be nice and supportive in their own weird way. Even my mother. (God, did I really just say that???? LOL)

    Keep up the fantastic work - lose what you think you should, eat what you think you should and feel great about your progress!!!
  • unworthyservant
    unworthyservant Posts: 43
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    I have the same problem. I'm your height and about 160 and I wear a 11/12. But people never believe me, they think I'm like 125 and wear a 5/7. You never know if they are truly complimenting you or if they don't want to agree that you look the weight you do. I think the public in general in America has gotten so big that its normal and we think big is skinny sometimes, but I want to be healthy! My family are the only people who will honestly tell me it's noticable I've gained weight. I also hate it when they try to bring you down and make you feel bad about wanting to lose weight. I'm going to follow the BMI chart the doctor gave me which says to be healthy I need to lose weight! I've decided not to tell anyone except my family, because people won't support you on it unless you are really overweight. haha, you just keep doing what your doing, good job on what you have lost so far =D
  • rachel122986
    rachel122986 Posts: 46
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    I know how annoying that can be but does anyone else get embarrassed In a group setting and someone walks up and says oh have you been losing weight in a tone of voice that just isn't supportive and they go on and on and in the end don't even compliment you they just say well you need to....I get more comments that embarass me not compliment me.
  • Mhaney
    Mhaney Posts: 467 Member
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    I know how annoying that can be but does anyone else get embarrassed In a group setting and someone walks up and says oh have you been losing weight in a tone of voice that just isn't supportive and they go on and on and in the end don't even compliment you they just say well you need to....I get more comments that embarass me not compliment me.


    I haven't had this problem yet, but I don't get out much. If I ever decide to venture back to my old stomping grounds I'm sure some one will have something snarky to say.

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