Having a hard time

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I have been skinny my whole life until I had PPD after I had my son and the medication they put me on made me gain 80 pounds... I am on the first healthy eating journey of my life and want it to stay that way but the last time I did calorie counting and all that was when I was in High School with an eating disorder and eating nothing but lettuce and drinking crystal lite. I find myself now that I have gotten more used to the hunger pain, ignoring it and being under my goal, I recently had some friends tell me to move my calorie intake up to 1250 instead of the 1000 I had. I am REALLY trying to do this the right way but I feel in so over my head. I have never exercised (so I am finding beginner cardio videos on youtube), I am trying to cook for my family but I suck at cooking and trying to keep it healthy... We are also new to this area and we haven't made any friends.

I am just tired of being fat. I feel gross, I am tired all the time, I cant run around with my son, I miss feeling good about myself (ish) and being able to wear clothes I want to, not just fat clothes... I am done with this but I am alone and have never done this before and dont even know if I am doing the stuff I am doing right.

Any tips?

Replies

  • sherekiaj
    sherekiaj Posts: 2 Member
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    Keep your head up and remember that you are not alone. It is awesome that you want better for yourself. Take it one day at a time and set realistic goals for yourself. My initial weight loss goal was 10 lbs. When I got to that target, I set a new target of another 10 lbs. I reached that goal also but I let life happen and was not motivated to re-lose that weight that I regained since I too, felt like I was doing it alone. Through trial and error, you will find meals that work and don't work for you. I know that my kids do not like to eat healthy so I make their meals the way that they are used to eating them and prepare a small portion for myself in a healthier way. I am limiting myself to chicken breast and fish but if I want something that usually contains ground beef or sausage, I use ground turkey. I find that seasoning turkey meat makes it taste a lot better and it is healthier. As for exercising, start off with something easy and push yourself a little further each week to build up your endurance. Set up your workout goals for maybe 3 days/wk and slowly increase it over time to 5 or 6 days/wk. Also put a minimum time for your workouts like maybe 10 minutes 2x a day. Believe it or not, you will see results that way also and you will start to have more energy and feel better overall. Feel free to friend me if you would like for me to help motivate you in your journey to awesomeness.
  • Saramaranncoopa
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    The beginning is always difficult, i started my journey last year and then got very comfy over christmas and have found myself back at square one again. I personally hate cooking and find myself cooking the same things ALL the time and having a boyfriend that hates veggies is pretty difficult to cook for. I started out with what i usually cooked for dinner but added more veggies, experimented with spices and also look for different website for cooking. It helped soo much.

    My advice is dont drastically change your lifestyle choices too much at the beginning. Ease into it and change one or two things at a time. I decided to do the big change at the start but couldnt follow through with it because i just felt like i was missing out on things (especially food).

    Im new to this website too, so if you wanted someone to talk to and be friends with, just add me :)
  • GodMomKim
    GodMomKim Posts: 3,661 Member
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    This is a great place, you'll make friends here and maybe even find one who lives near you. Log your food and really try to eat close to the calories that MFP recommends, too low and your body gets confused and holds on to the weight.. I have been here 6 weeks and have lost 10 lbs and feel like the eating changes I have made are ones I can continue. I love to cook, so that part is easy for me - but there is a good web page - with pictures and great recipes called skinnytaste.com - I have not made much from there yet but only because I just found it.

    Having just moved makes it harder, you don't mention if you are working or how old your son is; but try to meet some folks - if he is old enough even going to the library for story hour will be a place with other Mom's with younger children - and it's free

    good luck
  • socialdchic
    socialdchic Posts: 170 Member
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    My son is 5 and I do not currently work, he starts kindergarten this fall. This town is super small and there is nothing here... I visited the library but it had nothing and the people are really southern and I have piercing a and all that, haven't been warmly greeted lets say... Found one person but she seems to have no interest in a new friend.
    This is a great place, you'll make friends here and maybe even find one who lives near you. Log your food and really try to eat close to the calories that MFP recommends, too low and your body gets confused and holds on to the weight.. I have been here 6 weeks and have lost 10 lbs and feel like the eating changes I have made are ones I can continue. I love to cook, so that part is easy for me - but there is a good web page - with pictures and great recipes called skinnytaste.com - I have not made much from there yet but only because I just found it.

    Having just moved makes it harder, you don't mention if you are working or how old your son is; but try to meet some folks - if he is old enough even going to the library for story hour will be a place with other Mom's with younger children - and it's free

    good luck
  • Cheechos
    Cheechos Posts: 293
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    Log your food and really try to eat close to the calories that MFP recommends

    This. At the very least, set MFP to -1 lbs/week and eat to your goal every day. If you can, purchase a food scale and start weighing what you eat so that you can log your food accurately. Focus on getting enough protein and fat so you don't feel too hungry and eat calorie dense foods in moderation. You said you had an ED in the past, so watch out for cues that you might be slipping back into that sort of lifestyle. If anything raises red flags, seek help immediately. If the scale is a trigger, weigh once a week or once a month. You can also get rid of the scale entirely and use measurements instead. Starting some cardio is good! Maybe you can work some other kinds of stuff into that, like squats and push ups, swimming, or dancing. Whatever you enjoy. Take it slow, though, and if you feel like you can't do too much exercise right now then just focus on your nutrition at first. Once you get that rolling you can start being more active.
  • socialdchic
    socialdchic Posts: 170 Member
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    Thank you, another person recommended a food scale so I guess I am going to look into that...
    Log your food and really try to eat close to the calories that MFP recommends

    This. At the very least, set MFP to -1 lbs/week and eat to your goal every day. If you can, purchase a food scale and start weighing what you eat so that you can log your food accurately. Focus on getting enough protein and fat so you don't feel too hungry and eat calorie dense foods in moderation. You said you had an ED in the past, so watch out for cues that you might be slipping back into that sort of lifestyle. If anything raises red flags, seek help immediately. If the scale is a trigger, weigh once a week or once a month. You can also get rid of the scale entirely and use measurements instead. Starting some cardio is good! Maybe you can work some other kinds of stuff into that, like squats and push ups, swimming, or dancing. Whatever you enjoy. Take it slow, though, and if you feel like you can't do too much exercise right now then just focus on your nutrition at first. Once you get that rolling you can start being more active.
  • fpelletier
    fpelletier Posts: 365 Member
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    Welcome!

    I would definitely recommend a food scale as well, this will help you accurately log your foods. You say you're eating 1000 cals a day and that's really to low for just about everyone, the minimum in general is 1200 and even that is to low for most people. Can you tell us more about yourself, height/weight, what did you set your MFP account at, meaning how many pounds a week, etc. how many calories is MFP giving you daily?
  • scraver2003
    scraver2003 Posts: 528 Member
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    My son is 5 and I do not currently work, he starts kindergarten this fall. This town is super small and there is nothing here... I visited the library but it had nothing and the people are really southern and I have piercing a and all that, haven't been warmly greeted lets say... Found one person but she seems to have no interest in a new friend.
    This is a great place, you'll make friends here and maybe even find one who lives near you. Log your food and really try to eat close to the calories that MFP recommends, too low and your body gets confused and holds on to the weight.. I have been here 6 weeks and have lost 10 lbs and feel like the eating changes I have made are ones I can continue. I love to cook, so that part is easy for me - but there is a good web page - with pictures and great recipes called skinnytaste.com - I have not made much from there yet but only because I just found it.

    Having just moved makes it harder, you don't mention if you are working or how old your son is; but try to meet some folks - if he is old enough even going to the library for story hour will be a place with other Mom's with younger children - and it's free

    good luck

    Keep trying! The person you said that does not seem to be interested in new friends - keep trying. She may just be shy or nervous or having an off day. Who knows. Keep doing things to meet new people. Check out meetup.com and see if there is anything in your area of interest. When your son starts kindergarden, you will meet lots of parents that way, too. Don't be scared to set up play dates with them!! (My son starts kindergarden in the fall, too!! When did my boy GET so BIG?!?)
  • sodakat
    sodakat Posts: 1,126 Member
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    Are you having trouble with the very basics, including what you should eat in general? I am going to paste in some text from the DASH diet from Mayo clinic. You do NOT need to follow this, but it may give you some ideas of where to start on an overall well rounded diet. Tweak it to meet your needs. Some of this stuff I don't agree with, like diet drinks for instance, but I think that it is worth at least reading. You can of course use any diet plan you wish. I'm just hoping to give you some basic guidelines that are a bit balanced. You would of course not eat 2,000 kcal more than likely. Anyway here it is:


    Here's a look at the recommended servings from each food group for the 2,000-calorie-a-day DASH diet.

    Grains: 6 to 8 servings a day
    Grains include bread, cereal, rice and pasta. Examples of one serving of grains include 1 slice whole-wheat bread, 1 ounce (oz.) dry cereal, or 1/2 cup cooked cereal, rice or pasta.
    •Focus on whole grains because they have more fiber and nutrients than do refined grains. For instance, use brown rice instead of white rice, whole-wheat pasta instead of regular pasta and whole-grain bread instead of white bread. Look for products labeled "100 percent whole grain" or "100 percent whole wheat."
    •Grains are naturally low in fat, so avoid spreading on butter or adding cream and cheese sauces.

    Vegetables: 4 to 5 servings a day
    Tomatoes, carrots, broccoli, sweet potatoes, greens and other vegetables are full of fiber, vitamins, and such minerals as potassium and magnesium. Examples of one serving include 1 cup raw leafy green vegetables or 1/2 cup cut-up raw or cooked vegetables.
    •Don't think of vegetables only as side dishes — a hearty blend of vegetables served over brown rice or whole-wheat noodles can serve as the main dish for a meal.
    •Fresh or frozen vegetables are both good choices. When buying frozen and canned vegetables, choose those labeled as low sodium or without added salt.
    •To increase the number of servings you fit in daily, be creative. In a stir-fry, for instance, cut the amount of meat in half and double up on the vegetables.

    Fruits: 4 to 5 servings a day
    Many fruits need little preparation to become a healthy part of a meal or snack. Like vegetables, they're packed with fiber, potassium and magnesium and are typically low in fat — exceptions include avocados and coconuts. Examples of one serving include 1 medium fruit or 1/2 cup fresh, frozen or canned fruit or 4 ounces of juice.
    •Have a piece of fruit with meals and one as a snack, then round out your day with a dessert of fresh fruits topped with a splash of low-fat yogurt.
    •Leave on edible peels whenever possible. The peels of apples, pears and most fruits with pits add interesting texture to recipes and contain healthy nutrients and fiber.
    •Remember that citrus fruits and juice, such as grapefruit, can interact with certain medications, so check with your doctor or pharmacist to see if they're OK for you.
    •If you choose canned fruit or juice, make sure no sugar is added.

    Dairy: 2 to 3 servings a day
    Milk, yogurt, cheese and other dairy products are major sources of calcium, vitamin D and protein. But the key is to make sure that you choose dairy products that are low fat or fat-free because otherwise they can be a major source of fat — and most of it is saturated. Examples of one serving include 1 cup skim or 1 percent milk, 1 cup yogurt, or 1 1/2 oz. cheese.
    •Low-fat or fat-free frozen yogurt can help you boost the amount of dairy products you eat while offering a sweet treat. Add fruit for a healthy twist.
    •If you have trouble digesting dairy products, choose lactose-free products or consider taking an over-the-counter product that contains the enzyme lactase, which can reduce or prevent the symptoms of lactose intolerance.
    •Go easy on regular and even fat-free cheeses because they are typically high in sodium.

    Lean meat, poultry and fish: 6 or fewer servings a day
    Meat can be a rich source of protein, B vitamins, iron and zinc. But because even lean varieties contain fat and cholesterol, don't make them a mainstay of your diet — cut back typical meat portions by one-third or one-half and pile on the vegetables instead. Examples of one serving include 1 oz. cooked skinless poultry, seafood or lean meat or 1 egg.
    •Trim away skin and fat from poultry and meat and then bake, broil, grill or roast instead of frying in fat.
    •Eat heart-healthy fish, such as salmon, herring and tuna. These types of fish are high in omega-3 fatty acids, which can help lower your total cholesterol.

    Nuts, seeds and legumes: 4 to 5 servings a week
    Almonds, sunflower seeds, kidney beans, peas, lentils and other foods in this family are good sources of magnesium, potassium and protein. They're also full of fiber and phytochemicals, which are plant compounds that may protect against some cancers and cardiovascular disease. Serving sizes are small and are intended to be consumed weekly because these foods are high in calories. Examples of one serving include 1/3 cup (1 1/2 oz.) nuts, 2 tablespoons seeds, or 1/2 cup cooked beans or peas.
    •Nuts sometimes get a bad rap because of their fat content, but they contain healthy types of fat — monounsaturated fat and omega-3 fatty acids. They're high in calories, however, so eat them in moderation. Try adding them to stir-fries, salads or cereals.
    •Soybean-based products, such as tofu and tempeh, can be a good alternative to meat because they contain all of the amino acids your body needs to make a complete protein, just like meat.

    Fats and oils: 2 to 3 servings a day
    Fat helps your body absorb essential vitamins and helps your body's immune system. But too much fat increases your risk of heart disease, diabetes and obesity. The DASH diet strives for a healthy balance by limiting total fat to 27 percent or less of daily calories from fat, with a focus on the healthier monounsaturated fats. Examples of one serving include 1 teaspoon soft margarine, 1 tablespoon mayonnaise or 2 tablespoons salad dressing.
    •Saturated fat and trans fat are the main dietary culprits in raising your blood cholesterol and increasing your risk of coronary artery disease. DASH helps keep your daily saturated fat to less than 6 percent of your total calories by limiting use of meat, butter, cheese, whole milk, cream and eggs in your diet, along with foods made from lard, solid shortenings, and palm and coconut oils.
    •Avoid trans fat, commonly found in such processed foods as crackers, baked goods and fried items.
    •Read food labels on margarine and salad dressing so that you can choose those that are lowest in saturated fat and free of trans fat.

    Sweets: 5 or fewer a week
    You don't have to banish sweets entirely while following the DASH diet — just go easy on them. Examples of one serving include 1 tablespoon sugar, jelly or jam, 1/2 cup sorbet, or 1 cup (8 oz.) lemonade.
    •When you eat sweets, choose those that are fat-free or low-fat, such as sorbets, fruit ices, jelly beans, hard candy, graham crackers or low-fat cookies.
    •Artificial sweeteners such as aspartame (NutraSweet, Equal) and sucralose (Splenda) may help satisfy your sweet tooth while sparing the sugar. But remember that you still must use them sensibly. It's OK to swap a diet cola for a regular cola, but not in place of a more nutritious beverage such as low-fat milk or even plain water.
    •Cut back on added sugar, which has no nutritional value but can pack on calories.