Really upset right now

MayaDyra
MayaDyra Posts: 90
in Motivation and Support
Okay, I'm sorry for posting this on there, but being new to Taiwan I only know a few people here and I don't know them well enough to tell them, so here I am telling you online.

I am really upset right now. The social worker that came to my flat last week had said that they would provide counseling in person and that the person has experience dealing with sexual assault (my therapist is through online Skype and it's someone from the US, this would have been someone in Taiwan who has experience dealing with this).

Well she just called me saying guess what we can't provide counseling because there was no penetration (sorry for my vulgar language) so it's not serious enough apparently. That's just one more person telling me that I don't count and that I'm inferior. I know that I deserve what happened to me, first Kazik abandons me because of my weight, now the social worker is like yeah your situation doesn't count. I am a loser, I hate myself. I'm angry at the social worker's false promises. I'm angry at myself for being honest, look where it got me. Now no one takes me seriously.

Replies

  • hollyyy92
    hollyyy92 Posts: 20
    From the look of your message I can only presume what has happened, and you didn't deserve it and it's not because of your weight, you need better help. You should try to find a local counsellor who will help hun x
  • SezxyStef
    SezxyStef Posts: 15,267 Member
    you know there are online rape crisis councilling forums along with Phone numbers to call.

    Not to be mean but this type of post is not for MFP and you definately need to move to another site for your issues specifically.
  • annie61702
    annie61702 Posts: 120 Member
    I think you need help, but this is not the right place. I hope you find someone near you to provide the counseling you need. I'm sure there must be online forums for victims of sexual assault. You will probably get more help there. I hope you find a way to move forward.
  • Mia_RagazzaTosta
    Mia_RagazzaTosta Posts: 4,885 Member
    I'm gonna say this in the nicest possible way: turn off the computer and go see a therapist.
  • jackpotclown
    jackpotclown Posts: 3,275 Member
    I'm gonna say this in the nicest possible way: turn off the computer and go see a therapist.
    this \m/
  • eldamiano
    eldamiano Posts: 2,667 Member
    Without trying to be rude, what on earth has this got to do with fitness and exercise?...
  • randomtai
    randomtai Posts: 9,003 Member
    I'm gonna say this in the nicest possible way: turn off the computer and go see a therapist.

    +1
  • Galatea_Stone
    Galatea_Stone Posts: 2,037 Member
    Get online and find a rape crisis hotline in the US and skype it. Talk to someone. If you can't find help in Taiwan, I'm sorry. I don't know much about the country.

    Have you considered contacting the US Embassy or Consulate for counseling services? I know it is offered in some countries or they have contacts that they can provide to you.
  • neandermagnon
    neandermagnon Posts: 7,436 Member
    That's just one more person telling me that I don't count and that I'm inferior. I know that I deserve what happened to me,

    you're not inferior

    you DO count

    you DON'T deserve what happened to you!!!

    sounds like they're underfunded so can only help in the most severe cases, but that does not mean that what happened to you wasn't terrible or that it doesn't count!!! Only that there aren't enough counsellors to go around, which is really sad that they don't have the funding to help everyone.

    what's your budget like? Private counselling (i.e. where you pay) isn't that expensive compared to other medical services, and you'll get as many sessions as you need and can pay for, rather than being limited by their budgets and funding.

    and you absolutely DO count. If you had feelings like that you don't count or that you're inferior even before this assault happened to you, then maybe there's something else in your past (e.g. unkind family members, bullying at school, or similar) that's made you feel this way, and the assault was just one even worse thing that pushed you into thinking this way... well counselling can help with all these things. So if you can afford private counselling, see if you can get it. If you can't maybe there's some other way to get counselling for free.
  • neandermagnon
    neandermagnon Posts: 7,436 Member
    Get online and find a rape crisis hotline in the US and skype it. Talk to someone. If you can't find help in Taiwan, I'm sorry. I don't know much about the country.

    Have you considered contacting the US Embassy or Consulate for counseling services? I know it is offered in some countries or they have contacts that they can provide to you.

    ^^^ good advice
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    Without trying to be rude, what on earth has this got to do with fitness and exercise?...

    i would answer that, but i'd get a strike so i cant...
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    I think you need help, but this is not the right place. I hope you find someone near you to provide the counseling you need. I'm sure there must be online forums for victims of sexual assault. You will probably get more help there. I hope you find a way to move forward.

    this.
  • ILiftHeavyAcrylics
    ILiftHeavyAcrylics Posts: 27,732 Member
    Have you tried this place? They say they specialize is counseling for sexual assualt.

    http://www.goh.org.tw/en/main.asp?type=contactus

    If they can't help they could probably point you toward someone who could.
  • likitisplit
    likitisplit Posts: 9,420 Member
    It doesn't look like there are tremendous resources in Taiwan, but there are some:

    http://www.communitycenter.org.tw/counseling
    http://www.reankos.com/

    I'm sorry that you aren't being supported by the people around you.

    Remember, rape is a violent crime and is never deserved. Basically, it's like them saying that you aren't being treated because you were beaten and stabbed but not shot. It doesn't mean that being beaten and stabbed is ok or that it's not a crime - its just that they limit their services to gunshot wounds.
  • QuietBloom
    QuietBloom Posts: 5,413 Member
    That's just one more person telling me that I don't count and that I'm inferior. I know that I deserve what happened to me,

    you're not inferior

    you DO count

    you DON'T deserve what happened to you!!!

    sounds like they're underfunded so can only help in the most severe cases, but that does not mean that what happened to you wasn't terrible or that it doesn't count!!! Only that there aren't enough counsellors to go around, which is really sad that they don't have the funding to help everyone.

    what's your budget like? Private counselling (i.e. where you pay) isn't that expensive compared to other medical services, and you'll get as many sessions as you need and can pay for, rather than being limited by their budgets and funding.

    and you absolutely DO count. If you had feelings like that you don't count or that you're inferior even before this assault happened to you, then maybe there's something else in your past (e.g. unkind family members, bullying at school, or similar) that's made you feel this way, and the assault was just one even worse thing that pushed you into thinking this way... well counselling can help with all these things. So if you can afford private counselling, see if you can get it. If you can't maybe there's some other way to get counselling for free.

    +1000
  • ValGogo
    ValGogo Posts: 2,168 Member
    I will probably get stones thrown at me but I'm getting a shenanigans vibe here. I also agree with the person who said, "what does this have to do with fitness?"

    If she's lookign for support, I'm pretty sure there are other groups on the web that would better suit her with people who probably have experience with her issue.

    But like I said, I'm getting a BS vibe here.
  • christmre
    christmre Posts: 109 Member
    No one deserves to be assaulted, sexually or otherwise. Whatever the specifics of the assault were, it is still assault. You DO matter, it was NOT your fault. Tell your counselor on Skype how you are feeling, you need to talk through these feelings with a professional.
  • Kimkimba
    Kimkimba Posts: 173 Member
    I will probably get stones thrown at me but I'm getting a shenanigans vibe here. I also agree with the person who said, "what does this have to do with fitness?"

    If she's lookign for support, I'm pretty sure there are other groups on the web that would better suit her with people who probably have experience with her issue.

    But like I said, I'm getting a BS vibe here.

    This.
  • sargessexyone
    sargessexyone Posts: 494 Member
    If OP is a troll shame on you for using such a sensitive subject matter for your personal enjoyment.

    If OP is genuine then I truly feel bad for you. However, people are correct when they say this is not the place for you. If you have the resources to find a website to help you lose weight, which by the way, you do not based on your previous posts, then you have the resources to find help for your very real and very serious issues. I hope you find it.
  • eldamiano
    eldamiano Posts: 2,667 Member
    Without trying to be rude, what on earth has this got to do with fitness and exercise?...

    i would answer that, but i'd get a strike so i cant...

    Shame
  • spirytwynd
    spirytwynd Posts: 141 Member
    OP, please allow me to make a few statements.
    If this is real, please get help.
    If this is bogus, please go be bogus elsewhere. Not saying you are an internet troll but there are some out there.
    That said:

    No. You did not deserve this.
    No. You are not wrong to feel angry, hurt or violated.
    No. You are not a bad person.
    No. You are not ugly.
    No. You are not unworthy.
    No. You were not dressed wrong.
    No. You were not asking for it.

    Yes, you have value.
    Yes, you are important.
    Yes, you are worthwhile.
    Yes, you are special and unique.
    Please find help.

    If Taiwan can't get you someone to talk to, use one of the other numbers to call. Check with a church, a hospital, a relief organization such as the Red Cross. Call back to the US or Skype if necessary.
    Rape and sexual assault is not about penetration, though that can be part of it. It is about victimization, terror, someone feeling power and control over someone else, and a number of other unwelcome things. If it was unwelcome by you, it was wrong.
  • mactaffy84
    mactaffy84 Posts: 398 Member
    Without trying to be rude, what on earth has this got to do with fitness and exercise?...

    Don't you have any compassion? This may not be the best place, but is it so difficult to put yourself into another person's shoes and not be so self-absorbed?

    OP, I have no idea how to help, but maybe go on line to find a counselor. Good luck!

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