I'm frustrated beyond recognition
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curvymonkey
Posts: 26
I'm just going to vent... because I can. 
I hate my body at the moment. I just feel like taking a machete to the parts that bother me so much.
In the beginning of 2008 I was about 230 lbs. I got YourselfFitness for PS2 and lost about 10 pounds by the summer. I then joined Weight Watchers and took a month of kickboxing. That revved my body into losing another 10 pounds in two months. I joined a regular gym and by the end of the year had gone down to 195.
In 2009 I went back to school and my job was having issues so I was beyond stressed, so my food intake and working out was put to the wayside and I gained 10 pounds.
This year I've been fluctuating between 205 and 210 pounds. I tried doing Taebo in the morning, Curves three times a week. I feel I gained some muscle but my weight didn't really change, which truly killed my motivation.
When my local Curves club closed, my husband joined another gym with me, which was last month. So for the last 4 weeks I've been going to the gym every morning with him and walking on the treadmill for 30 minutes. Then Tuesday and Thursday nights I've been doing Group Power, which is a strength training class that lasts for an hour. I've been logging my food and trying my damnedest to keep my food within my calorie goal. Once or twice it goes a little beyond but I'm still mostly on target. In that month I've lost 3 pounds.
Sure you'll consider that a victory but it's frustrating the heck out of me. All that working out, all that exercising, all that food managing for 3 lousy pounds?! Seriously? And now I'll be going to Miami for Christmas and I know it's not going to get any better.
I don't know what to think. I've been telling myself that the Group Power class has been adding muscle so I may have lost more fat than I know and just gained muscle which weighs more than fat. That's what I'm drilling into my head. Whether it's true or not stands to reason. My husband thinks I've definitely gained muscle. So today I started taking my measurements that MFP asks for and see if I start seeing changes, because the scale hates me and isn't cooperating.
Maybe it's because I'm still over 200 pounds and it makes me want to cry. Maybe it's because I was under 200 for a short moment and I messed it up by giving up. I'm so tired of being this fat. I'm tired of looking down and seeing my pudgy stomach. I'm disgusted with the little flabs under my arms. I have to use every ounce of my good humor to keep me positive that it's all working and that I can't expect an instant change. But it just hurts so much to see how much work I've put in this last month to see so little return.
*big sigh* Thank you for listening. And thank you for the people who have become my friends and have been commenting my progress with words of encouragement. It really does help. So the more the merrier.
I hate my body at the moment. I just feel like taking a machete to the parts that bother me so much.
In the beginning of 2008 I was about 230 lbs. I got YourselfFitness for PS2 and lost about 10 pounds by the summer. I then joined Weight Watchers and took a month of kickboxing. That revved my body into losing another 10 pounds in two months. I joined a regular gym and by the end of the year had gone down to 195.
In 2009 I went back to school and my job was having issues so I was beyond stressed, so my food intake and working out was put to the wayside and I gained 10 pounds.
This year I've been fluctuating between 205 and 210 pounds. I tried doing Taebo in the morning, Curves three times a week. I feel I gained some muscle but my weight didn't really change, which truly killed my motivation.
When my local Curves club closed, my husband joined another gym with me, which was last month. So for the last 4 weeks I've been going to the gym every morning with him and walking on the treadmill for 30 minutes. Then Tuesday and Thursday nights I've been doing Group Power, which is a strength training class that lasts for an hour. I've been logging my food and trying my damnedest to keep my food within my calorie goal. Once or twice it goes a little beyond but I'm still mostly on target. In that month I've lost 3 pounds.
Sure you'll consider that a victory but it's frustrating the heck out of me. All that working out, all that exercising, all that food managing for 3 lousy pounds?! Seriously? And now I'll be going to Miami for Christmas and I know it's not going to get any better.
I don't know what to think. I've been telling myself that the Group Power class has been adding muscle so I may have lost more fat than I know and just gained muscle which weighs more than fat. That's what I'm drilling into my head. Whether it's true or not stands to reason. My husband thinks I've definitely gained muscle. So today I started taking my measurements that MFP asks for and see if I start seeing changes, because the scale hates me and isn't cooperating.
Maybe it's because I'm still over 200 pounds and it makes me want to cry. Maybe it's because I was under 200 for a short moment and I messed it up by giving up. I'm so tired of being this fat. I'm tired of looking down and seeing my pudgy stomach. I'm disgusted with the little flabs under my arms. I have to use every ounce of my good humor to keep me positive that it's all working and that I can't expect an instant change. But it just hurts so much to see how much work I've put in this last month to see so little return.
*big sigh* Thank you for listening. And thank you for the people who have become my friends and have been commenting my progress with words of encouragement. It really does help. So the more the merrier.
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Replies
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I have been where you have been and you can get through it. I can't give any true advice since I don't know what your setting are set at or your calories. Are you going off what MFP says you should have burned or are you wearing a HRM? If you are going by what MFP says I would say not to eat all your calories back as it predicts high (at least in my case it does). I still look at my body and have places I want to cut off but I know if I keep working at it things will tighten up as I have seen happen.0
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3 pounds is a lot though, even if it doesn't feel like it. You've cut 10,500 calories this month from exercise. I know it doesn't seem like a lot because it's only about 1 pound/week but if you can continue that pace, you will slowly & steadily conquer this. You're still cutting out 500 calories/day which is impressive.
Are you watching your sodium levels? If you're still eating salty food, or processed food packaged with a lot of salt, maybe it's just that you're retaining a bit of water weight. Definitely measure your body - your composition could be changing dramatically even if your number on the scale isn't going down.
Good luck!0 -
Hang in there! The benefits of your hard work are far more than just 3 lost pounds. Just off the top of my head, by now you're bound to have gained better cardiovascular health, more toned nervous system, more conditioned muscles, etc.
Try to make changes to your diet and exercise regimen to shake your metabolism and concentrate on the long term goals. Also some fat burners in conjunction to healthy diet and exercise should help boost your metabolism.
It is a long road, but a rewarding one!
Ps.
I second MissingMinnesot. It is very easy to overestimate your exercise calories!0 -
I am so sorry to hear this, I have ben struggling to lose weight since I had my last child 5 years ago I weight 260 and then was 195 to 200 for a few year, Diet, fasting, working out, nothing really worked. I been with MFP for about a year lost 10 then gained it.
I was very frustrated but I realized that I was not very focused in losing weight. I am not sayingn you are not, but for me I realized that.
Now I lost 15 weight but I changed my mind, sure i want to lose weight but I FEEL so good when I workout and the result is I lost weight. I measure myself and weight myself to make sure I dont lose track because I do eat what I want. Life is too short to limit yourself.
Perhaps you are a big frame that carries your weight well, I am big but I get hit alot now. Why? as cheesy as it sounds I feel good and that has been because of exercise.
You look very pretty I am sure you are being so hard on yourself. You have one body cherise it, How long did it take for you to gain weight? Now it will take more time then that to lose it,
Love yourself It sounds your hubby loves you like you are now, Why cant you love yourself too?
Sorry about spelling?:drinker:0 -
I hear ya but keep at it, it will pay off...eventually. lol It may not be as fast as we want but you're still making healthy positive changes and it will all catch up!!! Your numbers run right about the same as mine, this time last year I had made it down to 191 and I was estatic I hadn't been that "small" in over 10 years! Then I don't know what happened but I'm back up to 205-210. Seems like no matter what I do I can't budge the numbers but I started to listening to the people telling me they can see changes and more muscle definition. I got out some pics from just a few months ago and can see changes especially in my face so even when the scale isn't moving our efforts aren't lost just keep doing what you're doing and let the rest take care of itself!! Good luck!!0
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I am new to this board but not to the fight that everyone here is faced with on a daily basis, so I feel your frustration completely. I am a 310 pound, former personal trainer who knows exactly how to get fit and stay fit as long as I have the will to do so. Obviously, I have lost that will until recently.
One thing I have noticed in my experience as a trainer needs to be shared, and I know this is not something most of you want to hear. I respect women a great deal for their strength and their compassion. I believe women have a higher threshold for pain than men do. That being said, it has been my first-hand experience that MOST women DO NOT train with enough intensity and this is why they struggle so mightily to make progress with their weight loss. They do not realize that a set doesn't begin until you start to feel the burn. All of the reps leading up to that point don't even count. I'm sorry to say this ladies, but if you go to the gym 5 days a week, climb on to an exercise bike, and peddle leisurely while reading a magazine, working just hard enough to break a sweat, then you might as well just stay home. Going through the motions is NOT going to get you the results you want. Watch the training sessions that the "Biggest Loser" contestants are put through and ask yourself if your workouts are that intense. There is a reason why those people lose 100 pounds in 5 months.
Want to know what it really takes to succeed? Spending each workout session training as if your life depended on it. Eating clean, healthy, non-processed foods and limiting your caloric intake. Drinking water constantly. Going to bed hungry EVERY night. Do these things and I GUARANTEE you will see the kind of results you are looking for.
Now, I never said doing this would be easy, but if getting in shape and looking and feeling healthy and attractive is more important to you than eating pizza and ice cream, then you must learn to deal with the daily sacrifices it takes to get there. It's not rocket science.
1. Train HARD.
2. Eat healthy.
3. Learn to live with hunger.
Unless you are a genetic freak of nature, that is what it takes.
Sorry if that message hurts a little. I am in the same battle as all of you. I have been to the mountain top and I know what it takes to get there. We just have to WANT IT and be willing to WORK FOR IT in order to make it happen.0 -
I'm hearing what you're saying and I agree with you. I guess I had to put things into perspective and realize that since I had lost that initial weight, I wasn't trying as hard. My workouts weren't consistent and I wasn't always watching what I was eating. I've only really been hitting everything hard for the last month because I hit a low point and just can't tolerate being like this anymore.One thing I have noticed in my experience as a trainer needs to be shared, and I know this is not something most of you want to hear. I respect women a great deal for their strength and their compassion. I believe women have a higher threshold for pain than men do. That being said, it has been my first-hand experience that MOST women DO NOT train with enough intensity and this is why they struggle so mightily to make progress with their weight loss. They do not realize that a set doesn't begin until you start to feel the burn. All of the reps leading up to that point don't even count. I'm sorry to say this ladies, but if you go to the gym 5 days a week, climb on to an exercise bike, and peddle leisurely while reading a magazine, working just hard enough to break a sweat, then you might as well just stay home. Going through the motions is NOT going to get you the results you want. Watch the training sessions that the "Biggest Loser" contestants are put through and ask yourself if your workouts are that intense. There is a reason why those people lose 100 pounds in 5 months.
I decided to do the Group Power class because it pushes me to work out more. When I feel that I can go through the sets without much problem, I put on more weights. I started out the class a month ago on the smallest weights which I believe are 5s. This week I'll be tacking on the 20s. And then when I walk on the treadmill, I have been increasing my speed. When I started I was on 2.5 and was struggling then. This week I started doing intervals of 2.8 and 3.0.
When you mentioned Biggest Loser, I thought of some of the episodes I caught and remembered when even they would have weeks of losing only 1 or 2 pounds and that's with them having a trainer. Me losing a pound a week by myself should be commended.
Thank you for all the encouragement. it's helping me understand where I'm going wrong and what I need to continue to change. I just needed perspective. 0 -
I totally sympathize too. At my heaviest, I was at 180 and it seems like I've been stuck at 170 FOREVER! The sad thing is, that at one point I was down to 130 and I left myself get entirely out of control and put it all back on. I'm really mad at myself and I want to lose it for my wedding, but it's SO hard and it seems like I'm never making any progress.
The main thing to do is to keep plugging away at it:-). No matter what you're feeling right now, you are a beautiful lady with a lot going for you. Look at what you've accomplished before!
I would add in some strength training outside of the classes though. I've been seeing more muscle being built in this way. I rely on the classes for the cardio stuff though, as I really get bored with machines.
Shannon0 -
don't forget lady, weight loss should be 80% nutrition and diet, 20% exercise.
Not saying exercise isn't important, it is, but focusing on exercise as a means to lose weight is a loosing battle (unless you can devote hours a day to it). Essentially finding out what your actual TDEE is, and creating a realistic deficit from that, and sticking to it with healthy foods is the only way to lose weight in a healthy manor and keep it off. Exercise is great to keep bones strong, muscles tight, keep your cardiovascular system healthy, and maybe burn off a few extra calories, but it isn't how we drop the fat, you drop fat by eating a healthy diet with the proper nutrients and creating a deficit that is in line with your lifestyle and Body Fat %.0 -
Hi. I'm new to this board, also. I feel your frustration. I went through it today myself. On Saturday weighed in at 202 for a total of 6 lbs loss in last 3 weeks counting points and working out at least 3 days a week, 40 min cardio, then an hour and twenty minutes of weights and abs. I pretty much drink only water. Got on the scale this morning and gained 4 lbs in two days. I mean, what the what? How on earth does a person gain 4 lbs in 2 days. I did have a cup of pasta and a meatball last night, but salad and black bean soup for lunch. I was devastated to tears and ready to throw in the towel. I'm sooo sick of being fat I can't stand it, and all the working out and counting my Weight Watchers points seems to do little to nothing, but after reading everyone's postings, I have finally stopped feeling sorry for myself for the time being, anyways. Thanks for all of your stories. It really does help.0
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Hey! I have had the same problem...literally feeling like I am working my butt off, but with no scale results. I have been doing everything MFP has said and exercising really hard (i.e. 800 calories or more an hour) with zero change in the scale. However, I have learned that it is not all about the numbers to keep motivated.
How are your clothes fitting? How has your endurance changed from when you started? Are there exercises you couldn't do before that you can do now? Are you stronger/able to do more reps?
Most likely if you are doing what MFP suggest, drinking LOTS of water, and exercising as much as you physically can, the scale will eventually move. Right now your body is probably just making the muscle/fat changes it needs.
I have been on here for 6 months and am finally seeing the numbers that it has promised (~1lb a week). I have lost nearly 5 lbs since Thanksgiving!
Just remember this is a LIFESTYLE change, not a quick fix. The work you do now to improve your health will only grant you more time in the end. Keep up your awesome work and stick with it!0 -
Hey Curveymonkey...it makes me feel really sad that you are feeling so upset. Don't be so hard on yourself. Everyone has there ups and downs in everything they do. The most important thing is the effort...if you are trying that is what is most important. The other important thing to remember is that it isn't all about the number on the scale! Are you healthy? Do you have any medical issues such as diabetes, or high blood pressure. If not then you need to give yourself a pat on the back for that! You are trying to make a lifestyle change and that isn't easy...just DON'T GIVE UP!! We are all here for you and will help you in anyway we can!! Put a smile on thet beautiful face of yours girl and try to cut yourself some slack!! Life is too short to be upset!!!0
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Got on the scale this morning and gained 4 lbs in two days. I mean, what the what? How on earth does a person gain 4 lbs in 2 days.
It's called "water retention".0 -
don't forget lady, weight loss should be 80% nutrition and diet, 20% exercise.
Not saying exercise isn't important, it is, but focusing on exercise as a means to lose weight is a loosing battle (unless you can devote hours a day to it). Essentially finding out what your actual TDEE is, and creating a realistic deficit from that, and sticking to it with healthy foods is the only way to lose weight in a healthy manor and keep it off. Exercise is great to keep bones strong, muscles tight, keep your cardiovascular system healthy, and maybe burn off a few extra calories, but it isn't how we drop the fat, you drop fat by eating a healthy diet with the proper nutrients and creating a deficit that is in line with your lifestyle and Body Fat %.
I completely agree with you here. I have been pretty steadily losing weight for the past 4 months... on NO exercise program. Once in a while (maybe once a week, maybe) I will go walk on a treadmill for 20 mins. Right now my main focus is my eating. Trying to stay within my calorie goals. I go over once in a while, like this past weekend, so yesterday I ate a lot less than I normally would. Once I get a lot closer to my goal weight, I plan to exercise more. But to be honest with you, if I tried exercising like some of the other posters are doing, I would've burnt out a long time ago and given up. I'd rather lose the weight now, and tone up later.0 -
Thanks for all the words of encouragement. You guys are awesome for motivation.
I think I'm just a little stressed out because I'm going to be seeing my mom in a few days for Christmas weekend. She can be a bit critical of my weight and appearance. I know it's because she's worried about my health, but there's better ways to go about it. Like she'll kinda look at me sideways and say "You don't look like you've lost weight" and then be critical about how I should be working out more, or working on what I eat. And what bugs me even more is that she's heavier than I am! I understand she's a parent and concerned, but also kinda hard to get judged from someone who should be doing their own working out and eating better. She likes to see me thin, but then I think I've been technically thin for about a year while in college. I've always been a porker so I don't know why any of this surprises her. I'd like to see her work out for 5.5 hours a week before judging me.0 -
lol
How about suggesting that to her the next time you get that "encouragement".. :laugh:0 -
curvymonkey, here's a thought, and feel free to disregard if you'd like. A while back I stalled on my weight loss, couldn't get a single pound to budge. I'd been a walker up to that point, on the treadmill, on the track, wherever. I decided to try running. Not a whole lot at first, because you'll get discouraged big time. I would walk for 30 min and then just run a 1/4 mile. I would do that three times a week. The next week I would add another 1/4 mile to make it a half, and just kept adding a quarter mile a week until I could run a 5k. The switch from walking to running sorta jumped my weight loss a bit and I lost a few more pounds. That was two years ago and I ran a half marathon this past fall. You might fall in love with running if you give it a shot. Don't get down on yourself, remember that even if the #s are moving on the scale, you're getting your heartrate up and burning some calories. I was discouraged a few weeks ago until I went to the doctor and she told me "Your weight might not be what you want it to be, but I can tell you're a runner from your heart rate, it's amazing." It's the little things. Good luck and Merry Christmas, don't let your mom get you down!0
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I've considered running, but I'm asthmatic and I don't know how my little lungs will handle it. I'm such a lightweight when it comes to cardio. I have a really hard time. I know, I'm just making excuses at this point. Plus I'd have to find a better sports bra because the mountains will move and give me whiplash... and hurt like a mother. But maybe I'll give it a try the way you did it slowly.curvymonkey, here's a thought, and feel free to disregard if you'd like. A while back I stalled on my weight loss, couldn't get a single pound to budge. I'd been a walker up to that point, on the treadmill, on the track, wherever. I decided to try running. Not a whole lot at first, because you'll get discouraged big time. I would walk for 30 min and then just run a 1/4 mile. I would do that three times a week. The next week I would add another 1/4 mile to make it a half, and just kept adding a quarter mile a week until I could run a 5k. The switch from walking to running sorta jumped my weight loss a bit and I lost a few more pounds. That was two years ago and I ran a half marathon this past fall. You might fall in love with running if you give it a shot. Don't get down on yourself, remember that even if the #s are moving on the scale, you're getting your heartrate up and burning some calories. I was discouraged a few weeks ago until I went to the doctor and she told me "Your weight might not be what you want it to be, but I can tell you're a runner from your heart rate, it's amazing." It's the little things. Good luck and Merry Christmas, don't let your mom get you down!0
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