Learning to Say NO

anissa333
anissa333 Posts: 175 Member
in Motivation and Support
Who else has this problem? You let others talk you out of what YOU KNOW you need to do.

I went out to dinner with my cousin last nigth. Its a tuesday thing at a certain little place and they have karoake. Last night, I knew I wanted to leave early so I could go home and workout and start the 2 30 day challenges I was doing. She ended up talking me into staying later and by the time I got home, it was too late to work out. I ended up feeling awful with myself!!

Its such a fine line for me to do what I need to do and not hurting someone's feelings and making them feel bad!!

Replies

  • l_ashley
    l_ashley Posts: 154 Member
    If you know that you struggle to say no to friends/family, try squeezing your workout earlier in the day, maybe before dinner? Also just let them know how important it is to you to workout, because it seems that they aren't truly understanding that.
  • He1loKitty
    He1loKitty Posts: 212 Member
    I was visiting my parents recently and my mom was serving dinner. She tried to put a big heap of potatoes on my plate right after I told her I was trying to eat fewer carbs. She generally means well but ignored me and was about to put a huge dollop on my plate when I screamed out, "YOU CAN'T MAKE ME EAT POTATOES!"

    I totally wanted the potatoes but I knew I had to start getting in the habit of saying no, especially to my mom when she's thinks she's doing something that's good for me that I KNOW is really not! It was funny at the time and she looked at me like I had three heads, but didn't serve me the potatoes. Ten pounds later, I'm not feeling so bad about saying no! Maybe if you say it as adamantly as I did that time, you'll get more respect for when you say no.
  • Broderick50
    Broderick50 Posts: 842 Member
    It's a fine line. Sad to say I've lost some of my friends because I've become that guy that revolves everything around weight loss now. But like I tell them all if I've got to be the chubby goofball all my life to be your friend then you've got one less friend now. It's tough but I had to learn to say no.
  • wonderbeard101
    wonderbeard101 Posts: 75 Member
    This is a tough one. What's worked best for me has been planning. If you know you're going to be busy or want to hang out with someone, work out earlier in the day (or move your workout to another day, if your programming allows for it). If you know you're going to your parent's place or a friends where you might be tempted to eat, plan ahead and bring your own food. Not the best, but I certainly have been a lot less likely to break my habits by doing so.

    Remember, as well, that you can't really expect other people to fully understand or even acknowledge your fitness routine. You've gotta be prepared and handle it yourself.
  • Pirate_chick
    Pirate_chick Posts: 1,216 Member
    When I go to my mothers, birthday parties, or whatever I always bring a bag lunch. lol They look at me like I am crazy, but hey! I need to do what I need to do. My mom tends to be a food pusher, she always has been. Notorious for "Can't you just eat that last little bit"
  • Eric_DeCastro
    Eric_DeCastro Posts: 767 Member
    if your friends and family can't respect that you want to become more healthy maybe they shouldn't be in your life.
  • MinnieInMaine
    MinnieInMaine Posts: 6,400 Member
    Ultimately, you just have to do it. If it's important enough to you, you won't let someone else talk you out of your plans.

    I went on vacation with family during my first year of weight loss. I thought maybe it'll be easier to avoid the junk they usually like to eat because my cousin and Aunt were trying to lose weight and my mother is always conscious of how she's eating. I even tried to make a semi-prepared speech when we got settled in about how we should all challenge ourselves and try to be "good". But no...they were on vacation and therefore wanted to eat all the foods! Well, luckily I'd already resolved strongly to behave myself. I brought my own snacks, made the best choices I could given the situation and went to the gym at the resort every morning to get some extra calorie burn in. And at the end of the week I lost 2 pounds!

    So, it's worth it to stick to your guns. You won't always be Miss Popular because of it, but if your goals are important enough, you'll find a way to make it work and still be social and have fun.
  • bcattoes
    bcattoes Posts: 17,299 Member
    Yes!! I've always been something of a party girl. Even though the girl has become a grandma, I'm still much too easily talked into "just one more". Actually I think it's gotten worse because some of my older friends haven't taken very good care of themselves and my mind plays the "what if this is the last time..." card.

    And once it was. :frown:
  • lavaughan69
    lavaughan69 Posts: 459 Member
    Saying no to drinking too much is my problem. Every weekend friends get together and ultimately you get the "just one more drink" question. And the more you drink, well the more you want to drink! For this I usually make sure to save plenty of calories during the week so I can drink more than I should :-)
  • Ecampbell64
    Ecampbell64 Posts: 22 Member
    Just a warning, I'm going woo woo here. For me, I think a lot of my overeating was stuffing down feelings or things I wanted to say. No is a hard thing for me to say. I was raised to be a "good girl" and somehow this translated into not speaking my truth, not disagreeing, not rocking the boat. It is very hard to stop but I am making progress. I will never be Jillian Michaels (in personality or body), but I am becoming a thinner, more honest me.

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