Desperate to lose weight

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Lionesskisses
Lionesskisses Posts: 4
in Health and Weight Loss
I looked at myself in the mirror today, like really looked at myself and I was completely disgusted! How have i got here? I have known i was fat for a while and made attempts at trying to lose some weight, I lost about 6 pounds but then piled it back on quite literally. My job is hard, when i come home all i want to do is be lazy and eat. I cry about hating the way i look and the only way i can suppress these feelings is by eating. I feel desperate to stop, I wish to be thin. I used to be a size 6/8 and never thought about my body or my weight. Now it consumes me, every second of the day is taken up by wishing i was thinner. I can't do this anymore, I am going to try harder. I have joined my fitness pal today to help motivate me. I opted for a banana as my snack just now rather than junk, i guess that's my first good choice so far. Am i kidding myself or can this actually work?!!!

Replies

  • adaybetter
    adaybetter Posts: 51 Member
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    You need to think about a life style change of eating not dieting. Diets don't really work and most ppl gain more back. It's about making smart choices throughout the day. Find foods that you love that's are good for you and healthy. Look up foods that you can make that are healthy and good for you ( I make my own protein ice cream every night )

    A lot of ppl when their hungry eat whatever because they don't feels like cooking or so on. You can always try cooking your meals a head of time so when you don't opt for fast or junk food when the time comes.

    Feel free to friend me if you need any help.
  • stutba
    stutba Posts: 152 Member
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    Congratulations on the start at just realizing you need to do something. Counting calories can and does work.
    Small steps are great. Having a banana instead of "junk food" is a good start. Accurately track what you eat and eat at a deficit. If you can go for a walk after work to relieve stress, that is a good start and actually might help your mind and body feel better.
    Beauty comes in all shapes and sizes. We all have problem areas or could use a little improvement, but honestly, we are too hard on our selves. My problem area is my arms and legs. I carry a lot of extra weight there. But.... My arms and legs work great and I am so thankful. I bet some amputees would love to have my fat arms or legs. Or someone with arthritis would love some fat legs and chunky arms with no arthritis.
    Be thankful for what you have.
    You will find good support and advice here. (Just a side note, My 1st three weeks starting, my weight fluctuated by four pound. I didn't see an actual loss until end of my third week. Don't get discouraged. If you are eating at a deficit, you will see loss.)
    Best of luck to you... You can do this!
  • Capt_Apollo
    Capt_Apollo Posts: 9,026 Member
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    small changes will yield big results. i read once that an apple has the same amount of energy as a can of soda, so i swapped my 3pm soda for an apple and some almonds too.


    i don't know what kind of job you have, but it's probably not as hard as you think. and if you find time to work out, your job will start to get easier. why? because you are finding an hour or so every day for yourself, and that can be very zen. and the other thing is that if your job is hard because of your co-workers, bosses, or customers, it because easier to deal with because it's hard to get someone down when they spent an hour in the gym killing it.
  • cgarand
    cgarand Posts: 541 Member
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    You sound like me not so long ago. I am in a challenge group, and one of the challenges was to video tape yourself giving a tip to others in the group. And, the first thing I thought of was that for most of my life, I hated my body. And, I treated it that way. My fitness endeavors consisted of starving myself or long, arduous workouts, that felt like torture.

    Eventually I would give up, and I would punish myself with food, and tell myself that I was a failure, that I would never reach my goals and that I was just fat. I would get fed up and the cycle would begin again. And, the whole time I just hated my body and myself for failing at these crazy 'fitness' plans.

    My coach says that change comes from the inside. And, what needed to change inside of me was to come from a place of love. To love myself and my body enough to eat right and to find exercise that felt like play to me. To mix it up and do the things I love NOW, not waiting until there is a magic number on the scale.

    And, when I do stumble, as we are all bound to do. I won't give up. I will carry on. Because, this is an entire lifestyle change, and I deserve it, and so do you.
  • missdibs1
    missdibs1 Posts: 1,092 Member
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    I looked at myself in the mirror today, like really looked at myself and I was completely disgusted! How have i got here? I have known i was fat for a while and made attempts at trying to lose some weight, I lost about 6 pounds but then piled it back on quite literally. My job is hard, when i come home all i want to do is be lazy and eat. I cry about hating the way i look and the only way i can suppress these feelings is by eating. I feel desperate to stop, I wish to be thin. I used to be a size 6/8 and never thought about my body or my weight. Now it consumes me, every second of the day is taken up by wishing i was thinner. I can't do this anymore, I am going to try harder. I have joined my fitness pal today to help motivate me. I opted for a banana as my snack just now rather than junk, i guess that's my first good choice so far. Am i kidding myself or can this actually work?!!!

    You can do this! There are so many of us on here who have changed their lives through fitness!
  • ChristinWrites
    ChristinWrites Posts: 119 Member
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    Yes you can do it. Instead of looking at it like tackling this huge goal - break it down into smaller, positive habits that build up over time. I started off by logging everything and carefully weighing/measuring. After I got a grip on that and seeing how much I was actually eating, then I started modifying food choices and portion controls etc. Then you start to exercise - and this in time gives you so much energy and is actually a natural anti-depressant. as you get stronger day by day you WILL feel better - in general and about yourself etc.

    Many of us here struggle(d) with eating for emotional reasons. You have to break that cycle and the biggest way to fail at breaking that cycle is to focus on body shaming yourself or self-loathing. You need to empower yourself instead and focus on every positive choice you make - it will fuel your motivation to continue making more positive choices.

    Small, daily steps and keep track of your victories every day - this is what what makes a lifestyle change possible. Diets do not work.
  • zoeysasha37
    zoeysasha37 Posts: 7,089 Member
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    You can do this!! It really does work!! I weighed 202, and now I weigh 135! Just know that there's no quick fixes, there's no diet pills that are going to help you. You have to work for it. I used to feel the same exact way that you feel. Now I'm happy with my body!! I used to get so depressed about being fat and then would eat more, it was a vicious cycle. If I can do it, I know you can!!!!! Eat at a deficit and you'll lose weight, weigh and measure all your foods.it's the only way to really be sure that your eating at a deficit. Walmart sells food scales for about 13$.
  • Spooky_Scully
    Spooky_Scully Posts: 73 Member
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    First of all, THANK YOU so much for using 'lose' instead of 'loose'. Really bugs me :laugh:

    But seriously, welcome to MFP! When I read your post, I saw how I was myself when I first joined. The hardest part is getting your mind sorted - its not a diet but a lifestyle change! Be kind to yourself, practice self-acceptance rather than self-punishment. Keep to your deficit, move your body, understand that moderation is key, and don't look for short-cuts! Remember that you didn't put the weight on in one day, so its not going to be lost in a day, either!

    Stick with it, and you will see amazing changes! If you have a bad meal/day/week, don't throw in the towel - because in a year you will be wondering why you didn't do it sooner! Don't give up!!!

    I always say that I'm doing this because I love my body, not because I hate it! And I'm loving it more every day!
  • kdillson70
    kdillson70 Posts: 63
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    You need to think about a life style change of eating not dieting. Diets don't really work and most ppl gain more back. It's about making smart choices throughout the day. Find foods that you love that's are good for you and healthy. Look up foods that you can make that are healthy and good for you ( I make my own protein ice cream every night )

    A lot of ppl when their hungry eat whatever because they don't feels like cooking or so on. You can always try cooking your meals a head of time so when you don't opt for fast or junk food when the time comes.

    Feel free to friend me if you need any help.

    This should definitely a lifestyle change, not a diet. Diets are a short term, if you stop the diet, the weight comes back. Make small changes to start. Opt for healthier choices, log EVERYTHING you eat, whether it's good or bad. If you eat that cupcake (which I love), you will see it in black and white and realize it's probably not the best choice, but if you account for the foods you love in your daily calories, there's no reason you can't have it in moderation. Take it one day at a time and don't give up on yourself, you're worth it. There is a lot of support on MFP! Good Luck!
  • nappsmcgee
    nappsmcgee Posts: 33 Member
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    1. Accept the skin that you're in RIGHT NOW. Self love is important on this weight loss journey, as you won't get your "dream" body overnight. Learn to love yourself.

    2. I agree with one of the previous posters in that you need to make up your mind that this is a lifestyle change, not a diet. Diets are usually miserable anyway.

    3. Find something to do before work (if you're just too spent to do something afterwards) that is active and fun! For me, I actually hate the gym. 10 minutes on an elliptical feel like forever and so boring, so I figured out something fun to do for my workouts. This includes Zumba (awesome workout that doesn't feel like one because of the dancing), kickboxing, and swimming. There are lots of other things you can do outside of the gym as well.

    4. The banana is a great start! I recommend finding more healthy (yet yummy) alternatives to junk food. Plus as someone mentioned earlier, preparing your food ahead of time is a great idea.

    Don't be so down on yourself. Only way to go is up now. :)
  • Lionesskisses
    Lionesskisses Posts: 4
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    Wow! I can't believe how supportive everybody is. Its rather overwhelming reading all of your advice, I am grateful to each and everyone of you.
    I am a manager for a healthcare company that provide care to the elderly and always seem to be working, my job not only puts a strain on me but also my partner, he hates how hard I work but its for a cause I am passionate about. I am a fairly good cook and I love it, when i get the time that is. I think it is a great idea what you suggested by preparing meals ahead. Its not that I don't know whats good for me, it's motivating myself to conform that it is the difficult part.

    Spooky Scully, bad grammar is a pet hate of mine, my dad was always correcting me haha. I hope to learn to love my body too! So thank you for the wise words. All of you are an inspiration and it feels comforting knowing that I have somewhere to turn.

    Thanks :)
  • Lionesskisses
    Lionesskisses Posts: 4
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    You sound like me not so long ago. I am in a challenge group, and one of the challenges was to video tape yourself giving a tip to others in the group. And, the first thing I thought of was that for most of my life, I hated my body. And, I treated it that way. My fitness endeavors consisted of starving myself or long, arduous workouts, that felt like torture.

    Eventually I would give up, and I would punish myself with food, and tell myself that I was a failure, that I would never reach my goals and that I was just fat. I would get fed up and the cycle would begin again. And, the whole time I just hated my body and myself for failing at these crazy 'fitness' plans.

    My coach says that change comes from the inside. And, what needed to change inside of me was to come from a place of love. To love myself and my body enough to eat right and to find exercise that felt like play to me. To mix it up and do the things I love NOW, not waiting until there is a magic number on the scale.

    And, when I do stumble, as we are all bound to do. I won't give up. I will carry on. Because, this is an entire lifestyle change, and I deserve it, and so do you.

    I am still trying to figure out whether I deserve it, however I believe now more than ever that I will get there someday.
  • mactaffy84
    mactaffy84 Posts: 398 Member
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    You absolutely, positively can do this. And I have a different thought about bodies. I can love myself, but not necessarily how I look. I mean, come on, we want to change for a reason. And, yes, health is an important, very great reason to change. But the way you look can be just as motivating. So use the way you feel you look as a motivator, because it can be a strong one. Just don't equate hating the way you look with hating you. Have you had kids? If so, your body has done an incredible thing! I think of it this way: I may really hate something my kids have done, but I NEVER hate them! Good luck and check in often. It will help.
  • telcochik
    telcochik Posts: 1,643 Member
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    So much great advice on this thread. One thing that also helped me was to build a support network of like minded people so I always had someone to talk to. I friended lots of people on this site who were using the same workout program I was so we had something immediately in common. The community on MFP is full of great people who have struggled or are struggling to build a healthy lifestyle. We all have different ways to do it but in the end we are all singularly focused on the same goal.

    You have taken the first step towards creating your healthy lifestyle but coming to this site. I encourage you to ask lots of questions and friend people you feel comfortable aligning with. Also many people set their food diary to open so friends can see what they're eating. This is helpful if you're struggling with ideas of what to eat but it's also helpful if you're looking for input from others on what you're eating and how you can tweak things to aid in your own success.

    Best of luck to you! You will succeed!
    Sharon
  • SharonNehring
    SharonNehring Posts: 535 Member
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    Ditto everyone else. You can make the lifestyle changes needed to be healthy but you must learn to stop beating yourself up over your current weight.
  • ginaxaustin33
    ginaxaustin33 Posts: 2 Member
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    Keep with it! At first, it's going to be a little difficult because every adjustment is. My biggest tip to you is to STILL eat the foods that you love. My fitness pal is all about portion control. Do not deprive yourself, especially from the beginning. You did gain weight, yes, but now you CAN change it. Make little goals for yourself, go for walks, minimize your portions, eat what you love, learn about some healthy food that you actually like, record everything (even on those naughty days where you go over your calorie intake) and you WILL lose the weight! Everything takes time, so start off with baby steps. Eventually, you will just keep improving with your healthy lifestyle. :) Theres tons of support on here, so if you ever want to talk or need advice about your journey, always feel free to message me!
  • mumblemagic
    mumblemagic Posts: 1,090 Member
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    Good for you. It's not easy but you can do it :-)

    A few links you might find helpful

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1080242-a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants

    http://www.nhs.uk/LiveWell/weight-loss-guide/Pages/weight-loss-guide.aspx

    http://www.nhs.uk/Livewell/weight-loss-guide/Pages/calorie-counting.aspx

    http://evidencemag.com/simple-weight-loss/

    http://www.gdalabel.org.uk/gda/gda_values.aspx

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/872212-you-re-probably-eating-more-than-you-think


    And if you feel like doing some exercise:
    http://www.nhs.uk/Livewell/c25k/Pages/couch-to-5k-plan.aspx
  • M3Kindschi
    M3Kindschi Posts: 72 Member
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    It really works!!! It's so motivating to log in what you eat and know that if you ate too much that day you just have to exercise and you get some calories back! Best wishes to you on your journey!!!
  • 12by311
    12by311 Posts: 1,719 Member
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    Will is work?

    Yes, if you put in work.

    You have to change your mindset of food though. Eating for comfort or boredom or sadness is a trap. You have to find other coping mechanisms.

    If you are motivated by others' success (I am) make your way to the 'success' board and check out what other's have done!

    Good luck.

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