Almost fed up

agann0n
agann0n Posts: 9
in Motivation and Support
My weight loss story is long, and like many of you filled with ups and downs. At my worst I was 220 at 5'5" when I was about 18 and had a lot of childhood experiences robbed from me because I was too ashamed of my fat to try a lot of experiences. As an adult I lost a lot of weight and at my lowest I was 148 in 2010

Anti depressants, complacency, and getting older has brought me here at 191 and 28 years old. I'm one week away from a vacation I'm terrified to go on because I'm so ashamed of my weight, and just want to be healthier and at a decent size for my body. I have a huge problem with consistency, eating out socially, and drinking alcohol when out with friends. I feel like I have to shut myself in a hole, see no one, and eat nothing but chicken and broccoli for me to finally start losing weight. My attempts at "reasonable eating" have shown no weight loss, and I can't seem to stick to a strict diet long enough to see results

I just need someone, anyone, to give me something to go on. I'm at my wits end and completely fed up and ashamed of myself. I have nowhere to go and no idea what diet to follow because every eating plan seems to just fall through.

Replies

  • darkrose20
    darkrose20 Posts: 1,139 Member
    check out the guide to sexy pants in the forums.

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1080242-a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants
  • ittybittybadonkadonk
    ittybittybadonkadonk Posts: 11,634 Member
    Think of this as a lifestyle not a diet .........Eat what you like and log your food honestly ....MFP already has you at a deficent ...so as long as you stay within your calories you will lose weight ..Best of luck to you
  • FranticPhil
    FranticPhil Posts: 5
    I would start with reading or listening to an audio book "Fat Chance: Beating the Odds Against Sugar, Processed Food, Obesity, and Disease" by Dr Lustig - it gives a LOT of insight in the obesity and fat gain/loss topic.

    Gather as much information before starting off and doing anything.

    But always remember - we're here to help :)
  • reklawn
    reklawn Posts: 112 Member
    What where you doing differently at your lowest? It definitely has to be a lifestyle and not a diet, as said before. You need to find something that you are going to stick with for life, otherwise you will continue to yo-yo... and I have learned this from years of doing so. I am about your size right now but I know it's do to the fact that I overeat. I overeat healthy foods, though, and it has made me feel 80% better than when I was overeating junk food.
  • editorgrrl
    editorgrrl Posts: 7,060 Member
    check out the guide to sexy pants in the forums.

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1080242-a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants
    ^^^This.

    Eat "healthy" (whatever that means to you) 80% of the time. Fit yummy, portion-controlled treats into your calorie goal. Deprivation can lead to bingeing.

    Set a reasonable goal. (With 40 lb. to lose, I suggest 1 lb. per week.) Log everything you eat accurately & honestly. Weigh your food.
  • kellyyjean
    kellyyjean Posts: 499 Member
    We all know what we should be eating and what not to eat. I myself cannot do with out certain things. Eating is my weakness. I do find that logging and counting calories and some type of exercise helps me the most. With vacation only a week away, go out and buy some new clothes, maybe some new shoes (I like to go to goodwill just to get something new and different.) There's not much you can do about weight loss at this point. When on vacation have fun, eat, drink and be merry, just be wise about it. Try to log into MFP everday. Just log everything even if you go over. If you can do this on vacation, just think how easy it will be when you get back.
    You can eat just about anything, you just need to eat the right portions. Drink low calorie beer when drinking socially with friends.
    Don't give up. It's never too late!
    Good luck!
  • knra_grl
    knra_grl Posts: 1,566 Member
    check out the guide to sexy pants in the forums.

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1080242-a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants
    ^^^This.

    Eat "healthy" (whatever that means to you) 80% of the time. Fit yummy, portion-controlled treats into your calorie goal. Deprivation can lead to bingeing.

    Set a reasonable goal. (With 40 lb. to lose, I suggest 1 lb. per week.) Log everything you eat accurately & honestly. Weigh your food.

    +1 - don't give up it will get easier when you start weighing and logging accurately it will come to you easily - good luck OP :drinker:
  • Mpol2
    Mpol2 Posts: 442 Member
    check out the guide to sexy pants in the forums.

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1080242-a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants
    ^^^This.

    Eat "healthy" (whatever that means to you) 80% of the time. Fit yummy, portion-controlled treats into your calorie goal. Deprivation can lead to bingeing.

    Set a reasonable goal. (With 40 lb. to lose, I suggest 1 lb. per week.) Log everything you eat accurately & honestly. Weigh your food.

    This x a million. No quick fix. No temporary fix. Just a slow and and steady and imperfect adoption of a mostly better lifestyle.
  • agann0n
    agann0n Posts: 9
    If I could lose one pound... He'll even half a pound a week I'd be over the moon. I feel like what worked when I was in my early twenties isn't working now and I can't figure out what works

    Mostly I have no idea what to do when I'm out with friends and everyone wants to drink and eat. Staying consistent is so hard for me.
  • editorgrrl
    editorgrrl Posts: 7,060 Member
    Mostly I have no idea what to do when I'm out with friends and everyone wants to drink and eat. Staying consistent is so hard for me.
    Go to the restaurant's website the day before, and decide what you're going to order. Prelog it, then figure out what you can eat the rest of the day to meet your calorie, protein & fiber goals.

    Prelogging means your healthy choices have already been made for you.
  • aplhabetacheesecake
    aplhabetacheesecake Posts: 181 Member
    it doesnt hurt to gain some common sense smarts regarding what to eat or drink at your fave places- by this I mean looking them up and looking for healthier options and writing it down some where or put it in your smartphone. That way life can be spontaneous and you will have a go to resource.
    ONce you get the hang of some "usual" menu items that fit the 500 cal or whatever calorie budget you are looking for, life will get a lil easier- it takes time, but be patient!
  • FromFlabToFurious
    FromFlabToFurious Posts: 355 Member
    The one thing I have learned from this is to NOT fixate on weighing yourself, no matter how much you want to. Never focus on weight loss, focus on fat loss. A lot of people (including myself) make this mistake. The scales aren't accurate as you'll lose and put on weight throughout the day because weight fluctuates and even when it does, it's for different reasons. Never trust scales! Scales lie! I've "put on weight" but I've got slimmer. This is because I've put on muscle. Even though I can't see it, I've put on muscle. Everyone was telling me how much slimmer I looked and I didn't believe them. That was until I started taking photos. Taking photos is your best friend and would be the thing that won't lie to you. It's all good and well looking in the mirror but you won't notice much of a difference because you'll see yourself in the mirror every day. To truly see the difference in yourself and for you to see you in the way other people will start to when you progress, take photos. Photos don't lie.

    Another thing I would say would be to not lose heart. I've been doing this for 10 years and if anything, I'm more determined than ever to shift this weight off. Do anything and everything you can. When I say that, I don't mean starve yourself or anything drastic. What I'd recommend would be making it fun. I'd also recommend sticking around this site because this site has helped me so much!

    I'm going to add you as a friend. Feel free to deny my request but whenever you feel negative whatsoever, I want you to message me and I'll help you as much as I can! :)
  • changergirl
    changergirl Posts: 81
    My story sounds similar to yours. I first lied about my weight when I was 9 years old. I was over 200 pounds in high school. My highest known weight was 220 but I didn't step on a scale for a number of years so I wouldn't be shocked if it was much more than that. I tried numerous diets starting in middle school. I've lost 10-20 pounds too many times to count. It seemed like I always got to 190 pounds and then gave up and I'd be back over 200 pounds in no time.

    Starting about a year and a half ago (Nov 2012) I came to the realization that this is a lifestyle change and NOT a diet. I needed to figure out a way to eat healthier longterm and that the 1200 calorie I subjected myself to for a max of 2 months weren't getting me to where I wanted to be. I eat around 1650 calories a day, there's definitely a lot of days where I eat over but I try not to beat myself up about it. I haven't cut out any food, I don't see any food as BAD, I can eat what I want as long as I'm under the 1650. I've travelled extensively in that time; 2 weeks in Cambodia, 2 weeks in Canada, 1 week in Japan, 5 days in the Philippines, 10 days in Malaysia and 10 days in Bali. This has definitely slowed down my weight loss as I've gained weight coming back from each of these trips BUT they're experiences I'm not going to have again so it's ok. I could be at my goal if I ate responsibly during them but I wouldn't have had as good of a time or experienced the local food as much.

    I guess what I'm trying to say is find something that is going to work for YOU long term. Enjoy your vacation, don't think about food or your weight while your on it. Do your best to lose a pound before hand if you want but when you get back concentrate on making sustainable lifelong choices.

    Also water is your friend, have a drink or two then switch to water. For me after losing 45+ pounds I can't drink like I used to and that's all I can handle anyway!
  • agann0n
    agann0n Posts: 9
    Changer girl, I am shocked how high your calorie limit is! I feel like if I eat more than 1300 I'll gain

    I mean, I set 1300 has a baseline because I'm not always perfect and sometimes don't estimate calories correctly. I'm scared that if I up it, I'll be eating even more than I thought. Did you continue to lose weight eating that amount as you got closer to goal?
  • bashor
    bashor Posts: 1 Member
    I feel your pain. See my blog. It is a hard road. I think the answers/solutions are different for every person. What works for some, doesn't work for others. You are young. That is a PLUS. It really becomes more difficult the older you get. I'm newly 50. Why don't we try this together? I'll log if you will log. Barb
  • editorgrrl
    editorgrrl Posts: 7,060 Member
    I set 1300 has a baseline because I'm not always perfect and sometimes don't estimate calories correctly. I'm scared that if I up it, I'll be eating even more than I thought. Did you continue to lose weight eating that amount as you got closer to goal?
    If you're guesstimating rather than weighing your food, then you're definitely eating more than 1,300 calories.

    That being said, food is fuel, and everyone should be trying the maximum number of calories at which they lose weight—never the minimum. Everybody's different, and it will take trial & error to find what works for you.

    Read this: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1080242-a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants
  • ericscontreras
    ericscontreras Posts: 6
    First thing, give yourself credit for what you have accomplished. The longer the journey the more you will appreciate the destination. Many diets do not work after years because your metabolism has changed.

    Everyone is different! But one thing that is the same across the board is using carbohydrates and fats as energy sources for cells (ATP). Protein is your building blocks for new cells. To lose weight you need your body to use the fat for sustainable energy instead of the carbs.

    Start with a basic nutritional plan, get a basal caloric intake (females are approx 11 calories x lean weight) then divide it up: 30% Protein, 30% Fat, 40% Carbs. Carbs primarily veggies, fruit, and whole grains in that order.

    Exercise should be High Intensity Intervals, preferably in open forum exercises, get away from restricting machines. Try new things! Keep the workouts fresh and you'll look forward to doing them

    I also suggest you share you successes. Every time you hit the gym, every time you make a good meal choice on your favorite social network. Ask the same friends you go out with to share too. Create a positive fitness environment around you. Best of luck.

    If you need more structure to your nutritional plan or exercise routines feel free to message me.
  • editorgrrl
    editorgrrl Posts: 7,060 Member
    I also suggest you share you successes. Every time you hit the gym, every time you make a good meal choice on your favorite social network. Ask the same friends you go out with to share too. Create a positive fitness environment around you. Best of luck.
    What a great idea!

    Make MFP friends, too. I'm inspired by my news feed every day.
  • nomad1000
    nomad1000 Posts: 206 Member
    Realizing that you have challenges is the first step to conquering them.

    I have a few suggestions.
    1. Enter your data into MFP and see what you really should be eating. It sounds like you arbitrarily picked the 1300 cals and TBH, that sounds low. Or into a BMP calculator to see the minimum you should be eating.

    2. Get a food scale so you can weigh what food you do eat at home.

    3. Log everything you eat (even if it puts you over for the day)

    4. Check out the restaurant websites to pre-plan your outings. I did this last weekend and knew going in that my dinner would total more than 1200 cals so I already knew that I would have to work out like a mad woman earlier in the day so I would still end up on plan (and could still have eat breakfast and lunch). If they are local places that don't have nutritional info, try to find good equivalents.

    5. Make better choices when going out. Maybe get the burger without the bun. Or a grilled chicken sandwich versus deep fried. Skip the fries and get a fruit salad. Get a balsamic vinegrette on the salad instead of Ranch.

    6. Enlist your friends help in staying on plan. If you have planned 3 drinks so you stay withing plan, then let them know that you need to stick to 3 and need their help to stay on track. Or that you are trying to eat healthier and to help you stay on plan.

    7. Exercise to eat more. Seriously. I sometimes joke that the reason I exercise for an hour a day/6 days a week is so I can eat more. :) I like to eat (which is a big part of the reason i am so heavy right now) and to keep on my 1.5/2 lb loss per week and eat things I enjoy, I exercise. I try to eat back less than 75% of the exercise cals but some days I eat them all. Especially when 1 serving of pita chips or 1 serving of ice cream just doesn't cut it.

    Good luck!

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