Stretch marks are sabotaging my weight loss

Hey everyone. I'm a 6'1 19 year old male at around low 300s. I have gained and lost weight in large increments for the past 5 years or so. From the constant weight changing, I developed stretch marks all over my body. Up and down my stomach, on my arms, behind my legs. It's one of the features of myself that I truly hate, and gives me a lot of insecurity. It's gotten to the point where I don't even feel like a normal human because of my skin. I don't take my shirt off in public, I don't go swimming, etc.

The point is I DO want to lose weight and look better/feel better, but my stretch marks are making it seem like losing weight is pointless because they'll never go away (I used every product imaginable). If I didn't have marks I would have so much more confidence, I would also make myself more available to women (yes, the marks are actually making me feel like I'm a monster and not good enough for anyone). It's like I'll look at my marks and instantly feel depressed and worthless. I talk to a therapist once a week about these type of issues, but I need some public opinion/support on how to live life with my stretch marks and continue to lose weight/get in shape because it's a shame every time I lose weight(50-100lbs) i let my flaws get me down and make me regress. Thank you for your time.
«1

Replies

  • Jwold55
    Jwold55 Posts: 39 Member
    As someone whose delivered a baby, and has the stretchmarks to prove it, own them. Who cares if they're there? If / when you get to your goal, be proud of them. Who gives a crap if you have stretch marks if you managed to do what many aren't doing - getting healthy!! When I hit my goal I will wear a bikini and I don't give a care who looks at my stretch marks! I made, carried & delivered a baby and they are my proof. You need to own your body, and be proud of your accomplishments. They DO fade in time, though no they will never go away without surgery. Chin up hunny!
  • Capt_Apollo
    Capt_Apollo Posts: 9,026 Member
    i'm sorry you feel like this man. but let me tell you that losing weight and getting into shape will make you feel a lot more confident.

    and then one day, a could of years from now you'll be at the beach or something and have your shirt off and you'll forget that you have those stretch marks. but some asswipe will make a comment, and you can shrug and say "yeah man, i used to be really heavy" and walk away and talk to whichever lady you'd like.

    don't let your weight or your stretch marks hold you back any more than they already have been.
  • horndave
    horndave Posts: 565
    one stop thinking of them as flaws. Grow up a bit and start loving yourself for you. Marks and all. No one has the perfect body it is a myth. Two, once you get to the weight you want, those stretch marks will continue to dissipate. They wont be as prevalent. Three, Be healthy. Four, if a woman is worried about your stretch marks then her shallowness is not worth the effort.
  • CipherZero
    CipherZero Posts: 1,418 Member
    The stretch marks will be there whether you lose the weight or not. They will fade over time, and there may be reduction methods available from a qualified plastic surgeon.

    I know the feel, though - I've dropped 70 lbs I've carried around for as long as you've been alive and have loose skin everywhere... but I'm far FAR healthier being at the lower weight, and that's the goal, isn't it?
  • Megais
    Megais Posts: 28 Member
    stretch marks do fade eventually, keep going toward your goal :)
  • kmm0034
    kmm0034 Posts: 46 Member
    Do you know what stretch marks are? They are the sign that you made it through. You made it through the stress you were under, the loss you experienced. They are a sign that you, you sir are alive!

    That said, if you can't change your thinking know this The more weight you lose, the smaller and less noticeable they will get. Further, if you do decide to go swimming, you'll likely end up tan, and that also helps. Scars, are scars are scars. I have stretch marks, and I have other scars. The thing is a scar is a sign that you made it through. That whatever gave you the scar is over, and you can keep on living.

    Do not let a physical flaw stop you from being healthy. Make it into a sign of how far you have come since then.

    The only other option could be your reward, for getting to your ideal weight, entirely due to the cost, which is something you'd have to check, but probably pricey, and that's cosmetic laser surgery.
  • ShirleyKwi
    ShirleyKwi Posts: 60 Member
    Have you tried shay butter? I have a girl with really bad stretch marks and her doctor suggested this. Vitamin E is also good. It takes time for them to fade, but don't give up. Keep losing the weight. When you find the right girl she'll love you, stretch marks and all. True love sees beyond just the physical appearance.
  • AsellusReborn
    AsellusReborn Posts: 1,112 Member
    As a member of the opposite sex, I have been attracted to plenty of men who have stretchmarks. Some people get them during puberty just from growth spurts. Most aren't noticed. -shrugs- I know that's not what you're asking, but I'll throw that in.

    As for how to live with them? They exist - whether you are healthy and fit or unfit, unhealthy, and unhappy. They are there when you regain weight. For all but a few, they're kind of part of having skin. I kind of like having skin, so I don't really notice mine.
  • kjm_723
    kjm_723 Posts: 66 Member
    You're young, they'll fade. I grew really quickly and had horrible stretch marks behind my knees and on my arms. I thought I'd never look "normal" but now you can't even see them unless you're really looking closely and nobody really does that.
  • AllOutof_Bubblegum
    AllOutof_Bubblegum Posts: 3,646 Member
    Sorry if this sounds flippant/dismissive, it's not my intention, but:

    just remind yourself there are men out there that are much more gorilla-y, much grosser, with more jacked-up teeth, with worse breath, with bigger beer guts, with less hair, and MORE stretch mark scars, that are somehow snaring decent women. Clearly it's not always about looks, amirite?

    You seem like a nice guy, you are not "gross" or repellent to women, or at least not to the ones worth a damn. My husband has a nice big beer belly, with more stretch marks on his gut than I do after having his baby. Guess what? I don't care one bit. I adore that man. And his stretch marks did not deter me in the slightest fro pursuing the hell out him and convincing him to marry me. :wink:
  • sarahliftsUP
    sarahliftsUP Posts: 752 Member
    I think once you reach your goal weight, stretch marks will be the last thing on your mind!

    I don't want to sound rude at all, but don't use the excuse of having stretch marks as a way to get out of losing weight/getting healthy! Don't worry about them! Distract people with the gun show, they won't be paying attention to stretch marks! And as other people have said, no one's body is perfect. With photoshop these days, it's hard to remember what real/normal bodies are supposed to look like!
  • hilly510
    hilly510 Posts: 46 Member
    I'm in the same boat, I'm covered with stretch marks. It sucks as a woman but I KNOW from experience and anecdotes that the opposite sex just doesn't give a damn. Start to ignore them, because they shouldn't have power over you.
  • jenilla1
    jenilla1 Posts: 11,118 Member
    They aren't going to go away, sadly. But don't let your "battle scars" get in the way of moving forward with your life. It seems like a huge deal right now because you're young and image is very important at your age. In time, you'll find out that your stretch marks are not as big a deal as you once thought they were. I've seen a lot of guys with stretch marks, so you're not alone!

    When I was younger I had scars on my face that made me feel like a monster. I thought I'd be hideous forever. Now that I'm older I could care less (plus they fade in time.) My husband never even noticed them. I had to point them out and he still didn't care. There are plenty of women out there who love their men, stretch marks and all.

    So while it's going to be tough for awhile and you may feel self-conscious about your body and skin, it will get better. For now, just focus on being the best version of YOU that you can be. Don't worry about what other people think. Confidence and friendliness are the most attractive features on ANY person! So go get healthy. It IS worth it. :flowerforyou:
  • K_Train450
    K_Train450 Posts: 122 Member
    I would like to say thank you collectively to all who responded to this topic. I'm trying my hardest to just realize they're a part of life and that I can be happy and confident with them. I won't quit because of them, nor will I ever again.
  • sunnyeuphoria
    sunnyeuphoria Posts: 85 Member
    Just ask yourself if you could be attracted to a woman with stretch marks.... I would guess the answer is yes... so why worry about the possibility of a woman finding you attractive with them? Most women really don't mind things like that. We have flaws and scars ourselves. As you get older you will see that life is not about how closely you can fit societies image of how you should look. Even celebs that are seemingly perfect have stretch marks and scars and wrinkles and cellulite n stuff. They just get them airbrushed so they don't show. No one is perfect.... just be the best you that you can be.... hold your head up high because you are making yourself healthy and fit and half of the people that you come into contact with cannot say the same. No worries my friend!
  • Lleldiranne
    Lleldiranne Posts: 5,516 Member
    Lift weights. While it won't help get rid of stretch marks, a bit of muscle will give you confidence and possibly help them look smoother, at least (and you can always blame them on the muscle :laugh: kidding!)

    And give it time. They probably won't go away completely, but they will fade over time. Like others said, you're young. Your skin is still pretty good a repairing and replenishing, so now is really the time to make those body changes.

    And, like others said (again ... there's a lot of good answers here already), don't be ashamed of them. Many people get them for many reasons. When you've lost the weight, you can decide if you want to pursue other ways of repairing them (surgery, for example) or if they don't bother you any more. Get comfortable in your own skin, whatever that skin tends to look like. :smile:
  • I have them, my husband has them, if fact, I think everyone I know has them. They will fade with time but will always be there unless you get laser surgery. As someone else said, whether you lose the weight or not, they will be there, so you might as well lose the weight, get fit, and live a very fulfilling life. A good woman doesn't search for "flaws" like that when getting serious about someone. Only the shallow ones do - you don't want one them!

    Worse comes to worse, you can always get some awesome tattoos to cleverly disguise them:bigsmile:
  • I have stretch marks from my 3 children, but after getting my stomach back into shape, I have no problems wearing my bikini, stretch marks and all! If people are going to judge you for your stretch marks, then you don't need them in your life. Simple as that!
  • PunkyRachel
    PunkyRachel Posts: 1,959 Member
    They don't go away, but the fade to white after awhile. I've lost about 12 jean sizes and I will not be sporting a bikini this summer, even though I now have the body for it. I have stretch marks on my breast, on my hips, thighs and belly. I am embarrass to even wear short shorts, because the ones on my thighs can be seen. So your not the only one that's shy to wear anything revealing. I feel your pain, but do not let it prevent you from losing weight and getting healthy!
  • IamOnMywayNow
    IamOnMywayNow Posts: 470 Member
    Stretch marks do not define you and they should not stop you from getting healthy! I have had two beautiful babies and I have stretch marks from them but more from going through puberty and getting chunky. My highest weight was somewhere around 173 while pregnant and on my 4'11" frame it was not pretty. Now that I have lost weight I am noticing more and more stretch marks that I did not even know existed!! But I am also discovering muscles that I never knew existed either! And that is more awesome than worrying about my flaws! We are much harder on ourselves than anyone else and just let me say, most people wont even notice your stretch marks! They will fade. Dont let them hold you back from becoming the person you want to be!!
  • I know how you feel- I have stretch marks on my lower stomach and I feel insecure about them too. It sucks they exist, but when I get down on myself I remind myself how far I've come and how healthy I am for losing 150 pounds and I feel better about myself. You'll meet a good woman one day who wont even see your stretch marks. I promise.
  • StarFall90
    StarFall90 Posts: 133 Member
    I have stretch marks on my belly, legs, arms and even my shoulders. I am 324 pounds and you know what? Once I hit my goal weight I won't give a damn. They will be there, along with my loose skin from being obese for 10+ years. But I know I will be happier, hell I already am and I have only lost 40 pounds. I'll be healthier than I have been in my entire life

    A good woman won't Look at your stretch marks and shudder in revulsion. She will embrace you, flaws and all. Because frankly, no one is perfect we all have flaws. Some show and some are hidden.
  • Iwishyouwell
    Iwishyouwell Posts: 1,888 Member
    As a victim of childhood obesity, I have had stretch marks up and down my body for over 20 years. I have them on over 60% of my body.

    Thankfully they do fade with time, so they're pretty fine and light looking.

    Trust me, when you're svelte and in shape, NOBODY cares. No one. I have never, ever had a woman, or anyone, say a single thing about my stretch marks.

    Being slimmer with stretch marks is 10,00000x better than being obese with them. If you let stretch marks stop you from reaching your goals so be it, but to be blunt, you'd be a damn fool.
  • I also have tried everything under sun, but none worked. The first thing to keep in mind is that it will take time, so be patient while trying a home remedy. I even had problem with my sex life because it really lessen my confidence. I even had a tummy tuck to regain my confidence, but then my stretch marks started bothering me again.
    I have a wonderful recipe for stretch marks from the book Natural Homemade Skin Care Recipes.
    Its ¼ cup almond oil, ¼ cup coconut oil and two tablespoons rose hip oil with ten drops of carrot seed oil and optionally ten drops of tamanu or sea buckthorn oil (these two are regenerative for collagen and skin cells)This is amazing for lightening stretch marks, acne scars and discoloration.
  • Jez94
    Jez94 Posts: 1
    Hey,
    I am a year older than you and I have stretch marks EVERYWHERE too, and they are seriously effecting me in similar ways to you...wont wear cloths that show my arms or legs(I just spent the summer in long sleeves and jeans and it was DEPRESSING) don't want to meet guys because of it, lack of confidence and they get me down I spend so much time think about them...how to get rid of them and how to cover them up-with cloths and creams/treatments. I don't want this to be a sob story but more a you're not alone...because all the stretch mark stories I hear/read about seem to be about women who have had children (and my guess is if I had gained a child I could probably be more accepting of my stretch marks-particually as getting bigger when you are pregnant is out of your control it HAS to happen--while my stretch marks are a reminder of poor choices)
    at times my stretch marks can seem all consuming I spend hours thinking about them and even crying about them. I know it seems ridiculous...but truly at times the feel like the worst thing in (MY) world-paticularly as someone so young.
    the lack of confidence from my stretch marks has had a lot of knock on effect and has also prohibited my weight loss/fitness (I don't want to swim with them or wear workout wear that shows my body..I also waited to begin my weight loss journey until after summer as not to risk more stretch marks-crazy I know )
    As well as telling you that I feel as though I am in the same (or a very similar) boat I want to give you a few tips, because while people saying that they aren't a big deal is kind it doesn't always feel helpful when you're at a stage in your life when stretch marks feel like "the end of the world"
    I try to remind myself that while they will never go away one day they will fade to barley noticeable.
    when I reach my weight loss goals they will be a reminder of how far I've come and extra motivation to keep the weight off as not to get more!! even if I feel I "can't" show my skin reaching my weight loss/ fitness goals will still make me feel/look better! and that I should be loved based on more than my looks--stretch marks don't make me any less funny, kind, smart, generous etc.

    You shouldn't give up on your fitness goal!!! I think this is really important and going forward coconut oil is meant to help with the prevention of stretch marks (I have only just begin looking into this--but at the very least coconut oil will help moisturise your skin which helps with the elasticity of skin) drink more water (once again helps with elasticity of skin)--I am basically at the point where water is the only think I drink with the exception of the odd coffee/ tea and the tiniest bit of booze or lemon lime bitters when out with friends-drinking more water has HEAPS of health/weight loss benefits! don't try to loose weigh too fast and try not to yo-yo in you weight--gaining beck the weight you have lost will probably cause more stretch marks. working out is also meant to help with the elasticity of skin. SO that is just a few things to help encourage you in continuing on your weight loss/fitness journey and to hopefully keep you for getting more stretch marks.
    in terms of the ones you have now--I highly recommend wearing natural fibres (such as cotton and linen) as they are more 'breathable'--although I am going to try really hard to wear what I want despite my stretch marks. I have also been using creams and oils (like bio oil) my dr. told me to look out for anything that says it 'pre motes elasticity"and I am working on using more natural stretch mark remedies.
    at the end of the day I all you can really tell your self that stretch marks are like the ups and downs in life---they are a down right now but one day they will be so hard to notice and if you focus on them to much they will define you!
    GOOD LUCK! :)
  • Eleonora91
    Eleonora91 Posts: 688 Member
    I don't like my stretch marks too, but really, that's part of the process. There are many people who have them even if they're not overweight, sometimes it all depends on how thin is your skin. I started getting them when I was basically a child so there is really no way to avoid them... but first, stretch marks will surely look better on a healthy body that they would if you were still overweight. So it's always better losing weight rather than not doing it. And I also think that we overthink about it while other people might not care - I've honestly never noticed stretch marks in others, but I'd be ready to tell everyone how much I'm covered in them!
  • nancy10272004
    nancy10272004 Posts: 277 Member
    I have scars all over my breasts from multiple biopsies and I used to be super self-conscious about them. Then I realized that by the time I was with a guy and my shirt was off, he wasn't thinking about scars.

    Your stretch marks are probably more visible than my scars but in my experience women look at them and DO NOT think "Awww, heck no!"

    Edited because the first time around I made it sound like women are turned off my stretch marks. (I forgot the bolded words!)
  • This content has been removed.
  • Nedra19455
    Nedra19455 Posts: 241 Member
    The kind of women who will judge you for your stretch marks are not the kinds of women you want to find. I know that you are young, but think long-term. Any woman you settle into a relationship with has the very real possibility that she will get stretch marks (especially if she wants kids, but even if she doesn't) of her own at some point.
  • ponycyndi
    ponycyndi Posts: 858 Member
    My husband has stretch marks. So do I. I love him because of his flaws, not despite them. You deserve someone to love you like that too.

    The good news is, you're young, and in time they do fade.