why now and how does it feel

It's all about life and being able to live it. I want to be happy, healthy and active which is a bit difficult at my current weight.

I've always had low self esteem, so for once in my life I would like to feel good about myself.

But it was the birth of my son that kicked me into finally doing it. I want to be active and healthy throughout his life and be able to keep up with his butt.

Sometimes it's not about that AHA moment... sometimes it never comes. Honestly it's about just making up your mind that you're going to do it and that you're going to stick with it. There are always going to obstacles in your way, but you need to leap over those hurdles and do what you need to do. It's about not making excuses and being self-empowering.
It take a whole lot of willpower to get over those urges to binge, but you just need to do it. If you keep giving into those urges, they aren't going to magically vanish. You need to force yourself to overcome them.

Unfortunately I think many Aha moments are realized during some type of health crisis. I have struggled with my weight FOREVER!!! I remember being self concious about my weight as young as 6 yrs old. I was never the skinny, fast running kid. I have a son who is 5 and I want to be here for him, have fun with him. I don't want to worry about getting on a plane anymore and asking for a seatbelt extension or feeling like I am invading my flight neighbor's space. I am at the point right now that I am fed up and tired of being fat. I am taking things one day at a time. I started a journal with this process to write down how I am feeling and why. I do find carbs and sugars are an addiction for me, so just like other addictions, I try to stay away from the unhealthy carbs (sweets, breads, rice, pasta, potatoes) and I do love those things!!!! I am making small goals for myself, as the overall total weight loss I need to achieve is overwhelming to me, so I am taking it one step at a time. Your binges may be from addictions to certain foods, just something to think about. I truly feel like I am going through "withdrawals" when I cut that stuff out of my diet. I am not expecting that I will be the size I was in high school (didn't realize it then, but I was skinny), but I want to be healthy and have some energy. I take each day with renewed commitment and somedays that is very tough! Good Luck on your endeavors, I hope you discover your aha moment.

I was always very active and fit...I was a track and field sprinter and jumper from 2nd grade through my senior year in high school...I also played all manner of other sports growing up from football to gymnastics to swimming to water polo...wrestling, you name it and I've at least tried my hand at it.

After high school I went into the military and was basically paid to train...when back to civilian life I returned to college but didn't own a car and rode my bike everywhere or walked and spent weekends playing roller hockey with my buddies and doing a lot of hiking and whatnot.

When I turned 30 I graduated and took a desk job...I bought a care and got married and spent way less time playing roller hockey and hiking and what not...I became rather sedentary and packed on about 50 Lbs over the course of 8 years. To boot my health really suffered and a trip to the doctors office was the wake up call I needed. I became very concerned with my health and immediately started making changes to rectify that...namely getting better nutrition and exercising more. I thought it would be hard, but once I was into it for about a month or so it was like re-discovering the old me and I re-gained my passion for fitness and nutrition.

I never had an overarching AHA moment either. For years, I said I wanted to lose weight. I tried to lose a couple of times - did lose some a couple of times, slacked off and gained it back plus some. I didn't like the way I looked, but on balance (whether I wanted to admit it or not) I didn't want to do what it would take to lose. I wanted to eat what I wanted, I wanted not to work out, and I wanted the defense shield my body provided (they don't like me? probably because I'm fat. what judgemental *kitten* they are, I wouldn't want to like them anyway) - those things were more important to me than my health/weight/appearance.

I did want to make some changes after my daughter was born. As she's been growing (she'll be 2 in May), the importance of diet and eating and exercise has been on my mind. As has the idea that I don't want her to be embarrassed by me, because I'm fat (embarrassed because I give her a big noisy kiss in front of her friends or show up at her school play and cheer obnoxiously? sure! but not because I disgust other people). I want to be able to chase her if she runs away in the store or at the park. I want to live long enough to see her as an adult.

But even so - excuses, busy (hey, it's TOUGH to juggle all the things and more time for food prep and cooking and dishes and exercising? from where? I still work 9 hours a day and commute 1.5 hours per day . . . and what about time for my husband and I? or just for me - and exercise is torture, not me time?), life, wahhh.

One day, I literally decided on the spot to do a Whole30 challenge. I wasn't well prepared, the first couple of days sucked until I got a store and got more supplies. It wasn't about weight loss, really. It was a challenge to myself to change my habits and behaviors. And I did it. And after doing it, I lost a lot of weight and wanted to lose more, but still wasn't quite ready for real changes.

Decided in December that if I wanted to change, I was the only person who could do it - and that if I could do a whole30 successfully then I *could* make those changes. So I set some goals, signed up for a dietbet10 (six months to lose 10% of your starting weight) and started exercising. Completed another whole30. Exercised harder (when I started, I couldn't do more than 2 minutes in a row at the easiest setting on the elliptical - now I can jog for 30 minutes without stopping. I don't *like* doing it, but I *can*), busted my knee, got off whole30, decided paleo isn't for me, found MFP, tweaked my calories, got a fitbit and realized one day that I'd lost 40 lbs. Which, you know? Not insignificant!

So I keep going. It's not always easy. I don't want to do it every day (but I do - boy did I wince as I entered this past weekend's birthday/I don't give a flip caloric festival!), and I am struggling now under a serious stress at work and seriously reduced activity levels (and less calories to eat), but . . . it's still working. I had to buy new clothes. And a pants size I haven't seen in literally 11 years FITS. It feels good. I know I'm healthier. I know I'm setting a good example for my daughter so that hopefully, exercise is a normal, integrated part of her day and so that she doesn't have the serious food issues I have had to battle. And hopefully this is setting me up for an easier time conceiving the next child and an easier pregnancy (because I'm high risk anyway, and have increased risk of developing pre-eclampsia earlier than I did with my daughter's pregnancy). That is the motivation I need on days like today when I want to say eff it and have a damn cookie even though I already had a splurge and have no room left.

Small, sustainable changes are what work for me now. It took one big, sweeping change and a lot of overlapping smaller motivations to get me to where I could do this, but I'm here. Doing it. And that's a good thing.

Mine is kind of funny. I actually attribute the whole thing to how cheap I am. lol
I went to check out a gym, since I love to swim and I saw that they had a really nice pool, and of course they did the "If you join today, on your first time coming in, you get an extra 20% off, plus, since it's still January, we have a promotion for an extra 10% off and since the day ends in Y, you get an 4 extra months free." Plus I could get even more discounts since I had health insurance and AAA and shoes on, or whatever, bringing the monthly cost down almost by half. Being a rather frugal person, I perked up at the thought of so much savings! However, being cheap too, it still seemed like a lot of money to spend. I debated for a few minutes, but really liked the place, and figured I'd be back within a week to sign up anyway, but would wind up paying double if I didn't do it that day, so decided to go for it.

Well, I know myself well enough to know that my new enthusiasm for going to this gym would only last for maybe 2 or 3 months, so I'd better get my money's worth as much as I could during that time, so I started going every day. I even started showering at the gym every day instead of at home (let them pay for the hot water - I'm even saving on electricity by coming here! lol).
My aha moment only came later, about 2 weeks in, once I kind of noticed I had already started going to the gym and eating right, and that clothes were already feeling more comfortable, and I was just generally feeling happier overall. I realized that I had already taken the first few steps, and been doing all these good things for myself, and said, yeah, I agree, that IS a good idea, let's keep doing that! That's when I joined here, started tracking everything I ate and did, working out almost religiously, and spending far too much time learning everything I possibly can about my new hobby!

It's now about 2 and a half months in, and I'm down 26 lbs and about 40" overall (26" off just my main 3 measurements!), and I know I'm never going back. I don't see the 3 month burnout coming this time (hoping not to jinx myself....), since I think I'm doing it right this time, with combining the exercise with good diet, and switching between strength training and different types of cardio to keep from getting too bored with just one machine, like I've done before, and so far, I'm still loving the whole thing.

I've already gotten my money's worth, and then some, and my next 14 months of the gym membership all feel like extra at this point, but it doesn't even matter anymore, since the place has become like my second home, and I miss it when I have to take a day off. I don't remember ever feeling this good in my life, both physically and emotionally - most of the time anyway. There are still hard days of course, but I feel able to get through them, especially on days that I get to go throw heavy stuff around! I still have a hard time believing that I'm even doing this, as I did not see it coming until I had already started! :-)

i lost weight so i would not be the biggest on the holiday last year. After the holiday I decided it was still worth carrying on.
I love being smaller and fitter and stronger than i was last year. So much choice in the shops, more shops i can enter. find it abit overwhelming at the the moment when shopping. but overwise am happy.