I just wanna ****ing quit

I have been working out since January. I had lost 19 pounds up until yesterday.... in one night I gained three back.
I also noticed that instead of losing neck fat, I'm gaining it. I'm losing my chin.
My cheeks are still fat.
My body is still disgusting.

I hate it.
Why can't i be like all the girls here at my college. They're all super ****ing skinny and can eat whatever the **** they want. One girl who only weighs 108 lbs ate two huge bowls of ice cream in front of me today and bragged about how lucky she was she didn't get fat.

I usually eat pretty healthy. I have one cheat day a week. Otherwise I count my calories etc. I'm pretty good.
So why the hell is nothing working. I just want to take a knife and just cut all my fat off. I hate this.
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Replies

  • Ilikelamps
    Ilikelamps Posts: 482 Member
    MY VIRGIN EYES WITH THE SWEARING

    but in all seriousness...


    what cheeks?
  • BlueBombers
    BlueBombers Posts: 4,064 Member
    You've lost 19 lbs already, that's amazing. It takes time. It took me ONE year and one month to lose 60 lbs.

    It's a one step forward two steps back process. The weight loss is fast at the beginning and slows right down.

    Remember, slow and steady wins the race. Just keep going.
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
    Have you considered counseling? If you are in counseling, have you talked to your therapist about all of this?
  • ninav1980
    ninav1980 Posts: 514 Member
    What do you mean nothing is working? You lost 19 lbs???
  • acpgranberg
    acpgranberg Posts: 137 Member
    It can be frustrating but don't give up. The alternative won't make you happy either. The only thing I can suggest is to stop being your own worst enemy and start being your best friend. 19lbs since January is crazy awesome. I've only lost 8. Whatever you are doing is working and just like growing your hair out, the transition phase can seem awkward. It will be worth it in the end. Good luck.
  • lilRicki
    lilRicki Posts: 4,555 Member
    January? I've been at this for 3 years, I'm not about to give up. Frustrating? hell yeah it is...doable? of course. Go sweat out the frustration, it helps. Take pictures and make side by sides to see your progress, measure after you weigh yourself, be honest with yourself, measure EVERYTHING, love the skin you're in, admit that working out makes you feel good mentally as well as physically. Go get blood work done to see if everything is normal, talk to a nutritionist to see if what you're eating is the most beneficial. Give up? then be ok with who you are and what your body looks like because nobody else is going to change it but yourself.
  • diannethegeek
    diannethegeek Posts: 14,776 Member
    You've lost 19 pounds in 3 months? Congratulations! That's really great progress.

    I'm not sure if you're looking for advice or just want to rant. If you want suggestions, it might help us to be able to see your diary. You can open it by going to Settings at the top of the page. Then choose Diary Settings, and Public, and Save Changes.

    Weight loss is never going to be linear. Because of the way our bodies are constantly storing water, food and waste, little stalls and jumps are always going to happen. I'd bet you that 3 pound gain is just a temporary water weight fluctuation and it will go away soon.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,985 Member
    3lbs of fat caloric wise is 10,500 calories. So unless you consumed that OVER what you normally eat, then it's water retention.

    As for the girls who eat ice cream, etc. they are obviously still eating less/even of what they burn. You really don't know about their eating habits unless you follow them around the whole day.

    19lbs is good. That's over 6lbs a month and if you CONTINUE to do that, you'll be succeed. DON'T compare yourself to others. Just compare your previous pics and clothing from the start.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • hopper602
    hopper602 Posts: 204 Member
    There is no finish line you need to understand. Nothing happens overnight either. Keep at it and don't weigh yourself so frequently. Once a week is how I do it.
  • carrieo888
    carrieo888 Posts: 233 Member
    I've had to work hard all my life to keep pounds off. Some people can't keep weight on. Others seem to be able to lose weight whenever they want to. Not me.

    So what?

    Enjoy your body for what it does. You are alive. You are getting healthier. The scale moves up and down for everyone. Don't waste energy on being jealous of someone else's metabolism. Deal with your own.
  • diannethegeek
    diannethegeek Posts: 14,776 Member
    Have you considered counseling? If you are in counseling, have you talked to your therapist about all of this?

    ^^I was trying to figure out how to bring up this particular topic. OP, your campus may have some options you want to look into for help. Maybe this is just a particularly frustrating day, but your post sends up some red flags that suggest you may benefit from talking to someone about all of this.
  • mrsfyredude
    mrsfyredude Posts: 177 Member
    I have been working out since January. I had lost 19 pounds up until yesterday.... in one night I gained three back.
    I also noticed that instead of losing neck fat, I'm gaining it. I'm losing my chin.
    My cheeks are still fat.
    My body is still disgusting.

    I hate it.
    Why can't i be like all the girls here at my college. They're all super ****ing skinny and can eat whatever the **** they want. One girl who only weighs 108 lbs ate two huge bowls of ice cream in front of me today and bragged about how lucky she was she didn't get fat.

    I usually eat pretty healthy. I have one cheat day a week. Otherwise I count my calories etc. I'm pretty good.
    So why the hell is nothing working. I just want to take a knife and just cut all my fat off. I hate this.

    19 pounds in 3 months?! I've lost 2....quit your whining! Waaaaahhhhhhh! :sad:

    PS.....calling troll
  • etscher
    etscher Posts: 41 Member
    I know it can be really frustrating, especially when you're on a college campus with a lot of skinny girls around. However, just because they can eat like that now doesn't mean that they will be able to do that forever without gaining weight! Who knows, maybe they spend hours at the gym to stay that way. I don't imagine that would be all that fun either.

    19 pounds is a big deal, even if you want the number to be higher. A three pound gain could be attributed to a lot of other factors (water, time of month, salt intake, etc).

    Do you measure yourself? Try measuring yourself in addition to weighing; sometimes your measurements will go down even if your weight doesn't because you may be gaining muscle if you're working out.
  • MBrothers22
    MBrothers22 Posts: 323 Member
    I seriously doubt you actually gained 3 pounds in one night. That's over 10000 calories OVER your maintenance amount. I'll "gain" 3 pounds every night if I weigh right after dinner. But that isn't a real gain. Also, are you sure you're counting correctly? Do you weigh your food? A food scale is an absolute MUST when counting calories. I've lost 22 pounds and I still haven't seen a difference. I know it's there because my work shirt is a bit looser and I'm using belt holes that I never have before. Just because you can't see a difference, or in your case, what I imagine is you convincing yourself you are going backwards, doesn't mean positive change isn't happening.

    And screw everybody else. This is about YOU
  • Strokingdiction
    Strokingdiction Posts: 1,164 Member
    Those super skinny girls don't eat whatever they want. They exist within the laws of calories in, calories out just like you.

    19 lbs since Jan is good.

    Weight fluctuations from day to day are not bad.

    Learn to love what you are genetically or further develop body dysmorphia and spend 25k in plastic surgery trying to look like your favorite celebrity like that chick who thinks she now looks like Jennifer Lawrence did.
  • richardheath
    richardheath Posts: 1,276 Member
    Weight loss isn't a linear process, unfortunately. Water weight can easily fluctuate by 3 lbs even during the day. Look at the overall trend, not one single day. Or simply ignore the scale, and use a tape measure or photos or something else instead? But obviously something is working, as you have lost 19 lbs.

    Gaining 3 lbs of *fat* would require a calorie surplus of about 10,000 over your TDEE. I find it hard to imagine you ate that much.

    And don't judge yourself by what other people look like or eat. Maybe that was all that girl ate all day? Maybe she burns 1,000 calories in the gym every day, so can fit the ice cream in?

    Finally, your body loses weight from where it wants. For many, the face does seem to be one of the first areas to go, but maybe it isn't for you. There is nothing you can do about that, other than keep going and reduce your overall body fat %.
  • I have been working out since January. I had lost 19 pounds up until yesterday.... in one night I gained three back.
    I also noticed that instead of losing neck fat, I'm gaining it. I'm losing my chin.
    My cheeks are still fat.
    My body is still disgusting.

    I hate it.
    Why can't i be like all the girls here at my college. They're all super ****ing skinny and can eat whatever the **** they want. One girl who only weighs 108 lbs ate two huge bowls of ice cream in front of me today and bragged about how lucky she was she didn't get fat.

    I usually eat pretty healthy. I have one cheat day a week. Otherwise I count my calories etc. I'm pretty good.
    So why the hell is nothing working. I just want to take a knife and just cut all my fat off. I hate this.

    19 pounds in 3 months?! I've lost 2....quit your whining! Waaaaahhhhhhh! :sad:

    PS.....calling troll
    Yup! Stop feeding the troll people.
  • He1loKitty
    He1loKitty Posts: 212 Member
    19 pounds lost since January is amazing! Congratulations on a job well done! Stick with it and you'll be losing more in no time. Don't compare yourself to those skinny b*tches.
  • KaterinaTerese
    KaterinaTerese Posts: 345 Member
    I agree about the counselling. I lost the majority of my fat in college, but it was unpleasant because I made it my priority. If it consumes your life, you need to talk to someone, even a close friend.

    Keep up the good habits that helped you lose those 19lbs! But you must, must give up the bad habits: the self-loathing, the hate-speech against yourself and those who are "luckier," the binging (I did this all too often) because it's just not going fast enough, and the doubt. It takes years to build a healthy body and some of us start later than others. Be patient and kind to yourself.

    Stay strong.
  • TasteofEnvy
    TasteofEnvy Posts: 123 Member
    face cheeks
  • TasteofEnvy
    TasteofEnvy Posts: 123 Member
    MY VIRGIN EYES WITH THE SWEARING

    but in all seriousness...


    what cheeks?
    face cheeks
  • GBrady43068
    GBrady43068 Posts: 1,256 Member
    Why can't i be like all the girls here at my college. They're all super ****ing skinny and can eat whatever the **** they want. One girl who only weighs 108 lbs ate two huge bowls of ice cream in front of me today and bragged about how lucky she was she didn't get fat.
    As someone who in high school ate "whatever the ****" I wanted and didn't gain weight, let me advise that eventually metabolism slows. The weight gains began shortly after college and continued until I got serious about watching what I ate and exercised more. Then I stopped and it came back. Now, I'm focusing on learning good healthy long-term habits to slowly lose the weight. I have now lost a little over 32 pounds since joining in Oct. 2013. There have been a few weeks where weight went up...sometimes because I wasn't drinking enough liquids and getting lots of sodium so I retained water, sometimes because I ate more food than I burnt off. One of those times was last week. I am not giving up because I don't want to have to start over again. You have to get yourself into that same frame of mind. You've lost 19 pounds....that makes you healthier than when you started.

    My weight fluctuates a LOT over the course of a day (as much as four pounds some days). I would advise that if the fluctuations get you down, don't weigh more than once a week. Then focus on the downward trend over time and less on if every single weigh-in is a loss. Also, take measurements and see if those are going down. Take pictures. See if you're suddenly fitting into those jeans you "grew out of" or if the jeans that you're wearing now that are too snug are starting to get loose.
  • Maybe its just water retention. Happens all the time.
  • hulakatz
    hulakatz Posts: 4
    wow...19 lbs since January? awesome. and sincere congratulations.

    In my younger years, I was skinny and could eat two bowls of ice cream and nothing would happen. Soooo different now after menopause.

    I celebrate your progress. I celebrate your process with being healthy. You are so much further along than you know...
  • trogalicious
    trogalicious Posts: 4,584 Member
    Have you considered counseling? If you are in counseling, have you talked to your therapist about all of this?
    really. for this bears repeating and for good reason.
  • DogDead
    DogDead Posts: 19 Member
    A few weeks ago I put on 2 lbs, and maintained that weight for a week. On my next weigh in I lost 5 lbs! It's strange, but it happens. Don't give up, weight can fluctuate roughly 3 - 5 lbs per day apparently :smile:
  • LianaG1115
    LianaG1115 Posts: 453 Member
    I got like 50 more to go to be like "the skinny girls" but I know that the s**t ain't happenin' this summer!! Your weight didn't just POP on your *kitten* overnight, it came after years, and it will take you just as long to shake the s**t off!! SO quit your mopin' get off your *kitten* and keep pushing...you'll be like the f**king girls but be a realist, the f**king weight ain't coming off like melted butter and you ain't gonna be a "super skinny girl" if you quit!!

    Another thing, if you are doing this only to be a skinny girl, you will FAIL...do it because you want to not because you want to be what Hollywood and Barbie glorify as the ideal woman.


    Hmpft...I got caught up in the swearing and the feel sorry for me's!! whoot whoot!!
  • mrsfyredude
    mrsfyredude Posts: 177 Member
    Have you considered counseling? If you are in counseling, have you talked to your therapist about all of this?
    really. for this bears repeating and for good reason.

    From her profile "Hey! I'm a junior in college. I'm majoring in Psychology " OH MY! NO, just NO. :noway:
  • cuinboston2014
    cuinboston2014 Posts: 848 Member
    3lbs of fat caloric wise is 10,500 calories. So unless you consumed that OVER what you normally eat, then it's water retention.

    As for the girls who eat ice cream, etc. they are obviously still eating less/even of what they burn. You really don't know about their eating habits unless you follow them around the whole day.

    19lbs is good. That's over 6lbs a month and if you CONTINUE to do that, you'll be succeed. DON'T compare yourself to others. Just compare your previous pics and clothing from the start.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    For normal people I'd say this. I used to, and still sometimes, look at my naturally thin friends as they eat terribly. However, they eat much smaller portions than I do regardless of what it is which is why they aren't fat. Ice cream girl could work out or eat less throughout the rest of the day. Maybe this was her cheat day. And if not, she may end upw ith a weight problem herself.

    Who cares about anyone else. If I lost 19 pounds in 3-4 months I would not need to be losing weight anymore.

    Put your big girl pants on and go workout to let off some of your excess steam. get a fresh perspective.
  • cuinboston2014
    cuinboston2014 Posts: 848 Member
    I got like 50 more to go to be like "the skinny girls" but I know that the s**t ain't happenin' this summer!! Your weight didn't just POP on your *kitten* overnight, it came after years, and it will take you just as long to shake the s**t off!! SO quit your mopin' get off your *kitten* and keep pushing...you'll be like the f**king girls but be a realist, the f**king weight ain't coming off like melted butter and you ain't gonna be a "super skinny girl" if you quit!!

    Another thing, if you are doing this only to be a skinny girl, you will FAIL...do it because you want to not because you want to be what Hollywood and Barbie glorify as the ideal woman.


    Hmpft...I got caught up in the swearing and the feel sorry for me's!! whoot whoot!!

    LOL this made me laugh. You tell her :)
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