Why are people such ****s when it comes to dieting?

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Whiskeytub
Whiskeytub Posts: 96 Member
in Motivation and Support
So I've been tracking my calories for about six months now. I was never seriously overweight, but I gained some weight from quitting smoking last summer and I wanted to lose it so I started tracking in order to do so. I had tried to keep this under wraps for the most part - I didn't really know why but I didn't want to come out and say that I was actively trying to lose weight.

Well, now I know why. I lost all the weight I had gained plus a little, and now I am in the best shape of my life pretty much. So naturally I mentioned to a couple of people that this app works really well and blah blah, I would recommend it when either when receiving a compliment about my body or when hearing a friend complain about feeling fat or whatever. But now that I actually don't need to lose any weight and look pretty good, I find myself faced with a lot of negativity regarding my tracking of calories. It's the eyeroll when I bring my phone out to put in the cookie I wasn't expecting to eat or some snide comment when I turn down a beer or something ("oh riiiight you're on a diiiiiet"). Sometimes this borders on actual hostility.

I don't get it. I understand that some people may not want want to put in the work and maybe there is a bit of a jealousy issue just because I am willing to. But still, as soon as you mention cutting or diet or lifestyle change or whatever, people get seriously snooty in the weirdest way.

Has anyone else had this experience? What do you do?

Replies

  • princessnarmor
    princessnarmor Posts: 67 Member
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    It's called -- The green eyed monster
  • Deipneus
    Deipneus Posts: 1,862 Member
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    I never thought about this before but the truth is, I never let anyone see what I'm doing. When I was losing weight I logged discreetly and never talked about it. I wanted to see how long it took for people to notice.

    I guess I've just kept up the habit. I don't log in front of others and therefore don't have to hear about it.
  • emdeesea
    emdeesea Posts: 1,823 Member
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    I think it's just that it reminds people of their own shortcomings and mediocrity. You did the hard work and accomplished what you set out to do, and it indirectly makes them feel bad about themselves.

    I had one woman friend a long time ago say something to me. I had lost a total of about 60 pounds and was in great shape, and she said something like "Thanks a lot. Now I have to be the fat one all by myself." And she was serious. Like I did it intentionally to shame her.

    I just brushed it off. It says more about the other person than it does you.
  • Madame_Goldbricker
    Madame_Goldbricker Posts: 1,625 Member
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    Depends on who you're hanging out with I guess. I don't tell people anything I don't want them to know or comment on. If I don't want a cookie or an extra beer why should they care. It's kind of like those folks who post their dirty laundry all over FB for all & sundry. Then get bent out of shape when people gossip about it.
  • Jill_newimprovedversion
    Jill_newimprovedversion Posts: 988 Member
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    If I tried to psychoanalyze everyone, I'd probably go *BONKERS* myself.

    There's a bazillion reasons why they might be doing it. Truth be told, I never understood it myself until I walked this road.

    Sometimes it helps to simply say, I'm not dieting...i'm just paying attention to what I'm eating...kinda like I do my $.
    I cut back here and there, and save so that I can splurge later on.
    That's called a budget.
    I do the same thing with what I eat.
    It's called tracking my food intake.
  • SinfullBonnie
    SinfullBonnie Posts: 1
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    It's all jealousy. we learned as little kids that misery loves company personally its none of anyone else's business what u do or don't do you are obviously proud of yourself for your accomplishments and your happy with it too so whoever doesn't like it can bite it... U be happy with yourself and what you do... I'm glad you accomplished your goal and as long as ur looking amazing...PPL R GOING 2 HATE its life.
  • Morgalla
    Morgalla Posts: 25 Member
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    I have about twenty pounds left to lose, and when people hear I am "still dieting" (i.e. not eating indiscriminately) they say things like, "but you don't NEED to lose any more weight!" and then glare at me like I am crazy, or doing it to shame them. I make desserts for my family, that I will not partake in (I have a very twitchy reaction to sugar) and even my family gives me crap about it- "So I guess you're just trying to make us all fat so you can look good" or "trying to test your willpower?" and other such remarks. I only ever get an "atta girl" out of others who have successfully been on this path. So I quit looking for it, or advertising I am watching what I eat. It eliminates a lot of snark and drama.
  • lmhbuss
    lmhbuss Posts: 282 Member
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    I had these friends in college who reallllly liked to smoke pot. I didn't. I did not care if they did though...just wasn't my thing. It turns out that they hated it if I was around when they wanted to get high...because they thought that I was judging them...and I totally wasn't. I think sometimes people feel the same way when they know a friend is watching their diet. Sort of like "oh jeez, the food police are here. She won't say anything but you can see the judgement coming off her." This is totally their issue.
  • craziedazie
    craziedazie Posts: 185 Member
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    I never thought about this before but the truth is, I never let anyone see what I'm doing. When I was losing weight I logged discreetly and never talked about it. I wanted to see how long it took for people to notice.

    I guess I've just kept up the habit. I don't log in front of others and therefore don't have to hear about it.

    This.
    Today, my coworker had some pastries in her office and I gave in and had one. I couldn't find anything similar on mfp, so I went back in her office and asked if I could look at the container they came in. I didn't tell her why, she just assumed I wanted to buy some and I didn't comment either way.
    I don't let them on to the fact that I am counting calories or using an app to log. That way if I decline food or drink I don't have to hear the comments.
  • AllieBear88
    AllieBear88 Posts: 170 Member
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    I never thought about this before but the truth is, I never let anyone see what I'm doing. When I was losing weight I logged discreetly and never talked about it. I wanted to see how long it took for people to notice.

    I guess I've just kept up the habit. I don't log in front of others and therefore don't have to hear about it.

    I'm similar. The only person who sees me log regularly is my husband.
  • margannmks
    margannmks Posts: 424 Member
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    It bugs me when someone whos overweight says oh well you dont have to worry about what you eat, your lucky , being naturally thin. Hell no i work my *kitten* off at bootcamp i budget every morsel ive never been thin or lucky.
  • Whiskeytub
    Whiskeytub Posts: 96 Member
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    Good points, all.

    It is interesting how people reflect their judgements of themselves onto you, as if you were the one being judgemental when in actuality they are just feeling ashamed for whatever reason (I get this with my smoker friends a lot now that I've quit}. I definitely will be more discreet with my logging, too.

    I really like the budget analogy, though. I think that's a really good way to put it to people so they can draw parallels to their own life.
  • krawhitham
    krawhitham Posts: 831 Member
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    I never thought about this before but the truth is, I never let anyone see what I'm doing. When I was losing weight I logged discreetly and never talked about it. I wanted to see how long it took for people to notice.

    I guess I've just kept up the habit. I don't log in front of others and therefore don't have to hear about it.

    I'm similar. The only person who sees me log regularly is my husband.

    I agree with this. I only talk about MFP with my bf. He's the only one who knows I'm actively trying to lose weight, and I have no reason to talk about it with anyone. I don't even think I'll tell people that I even tried losing once I've lost it all. I'll take compliments with a "thanks" and questions with "oh I dont know just eating well and exercising more..." and changing the subject quickly...
  • Ely82010
    Ely82010 Posts: 1,998 Member
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    I never thought about this before but the truth is, I never let anyone see what I'm doing. When I was losing weight I logged discreetly and never talked about it. I wanted to see how long it took for people to notice.

    I guess I've just kept up the habit. I don't log in front of others and therefore don't have to hear about it.

    Ditto!
  • LiftAllThePizzas
    LiftAllThePizzas Posts: 17,857 Member
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    I can't say I've had this problem. I don't know how much of that is how I choose my friends, or who/when/how I choose to mention it in conversation.
  • FancyPantsFran
    FancyPantsFran Posts: 3,687 Member
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    I guess I'm pretty lucky..no one has been snarky with me. I never advertised that I was trying to lose weight I just started logging eating better and exercising more. People are finally start to notice and ask. My answer is Im finally getting around to losing my baby weight...15 years later.... Congrats on quitting smoking & losing your weight...
  • 970Mikaela1
    970Mikaela1 Posts: 2,013 Member
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    Everybody knows I log all my intake. everybody gives me grief over it. I tell everybody the can kiss my *kitten*. They still tease me now 2+ years into it but they know it works for me to maintain. Good friends understand. Everyone else.... who cares.
  • andielyn
    andielyn Posts: 233 Member
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    Me, too. I have never told anyone about my attempts to lose weight and never will. I like to keep it personal.
  • ywalchle
    ywalchle Posts: 101 Member
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    i honestly haven't had an issue so far, but most of the people i deal with daily know I'm actively working towards a better healthier me. I've actually had a few friends join me here who are looking to do the same. But at the beginning of my weight loss I was up front with people and told them that if they didn't support me they knew where the door was, I wasn't going to have people who would drag me down as I'm pulling myself back up.
  • pennyks88
    pennyks88 Posts: 167 Member
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    The only people in my life that know I use MFP are my husband, my best friend, and my sister. I figure it's no one else's business and I don't want to hear the snarky remarks anyway. I definitely don't mention anything about it on Facebook. I have a FB friend who has lost 100+ pounds, which is fantastic, but all she talks about is healthy food and exercise. I don't want to be "that person". It gets on people's nerves after awhile. If people mention I look skinnier, I just say thank you and only elaborate if they ask.

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