NEW new new

:blushing: Well. Maybe I should start with putting the blame on the girl who would always call me a cow in high school. Mind you I graduated 10 years ago! and I was a size 3/5.. no where NEAR cow size but she insisted on calling me that. I have had to live with my weight going up and down since then. Also being in comfortable relationships doesnt help. I was with this guy for about 5 years during and after high school. I got up to 170. For me thats a lot. Im short so 170 makes me look hideous. I became single after that and got down to 138 and I couldnt get any lower than that! I met my exhusband when I was around that weight. Again another comfortable relationship followed and I got to about 165ish. That ended after 2 years or so. I decided to completely change everything. I moved out of state and got healthy. I was depressed and blaming myself and all sorts of self hating things lol. I was able to lose weight and still eat like a normal person. I got to 132 and I felt amazing. At my thinnest I was 127 and I knew that was too much already. Now Im back on it tho but Im trying to put a stop to it. Im at 145. Ive been in a 2 year relationship and we live together. I CANNOT GAIN WEIGHT. I need the motivation. I go to the gym 3-4 times a week and I eat right. I dont understand some times why I cant get this weight off. Its becoming a problem because I literally think about my weight all day every day. Help?