How do you stay motivated?

Looking at picture of me 18 months ago when I was 50lbs heavier and comparing them to pictures of me now...I don't ever want to go back at looking that way. Also, more importantly, I have discovered I LOVE working out! It's now a passion rather than a chore.

Well my first time around my motivation was getting pregnant (I lost 135 lbs before I could finally get pregnant) now I am struggling a bit, but I have a picture that was taken of me last April when I was almost to my goal weight so I look at that and I troll the success stories board... think thin thoughts... think thin thoughts lol

Quotes: Realizing this is good for YOU and only you is very important. Once you embrace the idea that this is the best path for your health and self esteem, you'll want to continue...Then I remind my self of what a beautiful human being I am...You will the the most benefit from continuing...So we can all just pitch in a good word or two and help other. I KNOW YOU CAN DO IT! :Dsmile

Response: I have to say, it's not often that I come across "men" who actually have a compassionate connection with themselves, who use that compassion to foster awareness, acceptance, understanding, growth and love for themselves and in doing what they need to in order to take care of themselves. I find men like you are rare, and valuable for the knowledge you possess that compassion as the foundation of lasting change in their lives is a necessity to their success; their strength is not for hurting, they are proving their strength is for looking after their own needs without causing harm to themselves or others - SO grateful, thank you for helping build a sense of safety through your egalitarian compassionate approach to connecting with yourself and others; thank you for having spoken up, and shared. I am grateful that you chose to post, I needed to know that there are men out there who choose to be whole, and are healthy for doing so. ^^

I wasn't sure what to think about your request, at first. It always bothers me (frightens me) when people ask of others how to do something without also taking into account a request for what works for that person, and why; it speaks of a loss of connection or lack of awareness in others that leaves them open and vulnerable to acts of abuse. I've had enough experiences in life, and am a compassionate enough person, that I always get hung up for a moment on how to help that person to set a boundary that will help them not only meet he current need, but also protect themselves from the potential damage of harmful posts disguised as "opinion / help" from those who believe that sado/masochism is the only way to live (abuse and neglect being in their opinions character building events of great importance and necessity for EVERYONE). Then I trip over doing the same thing - I don't want to be a source of harm in others' lives, I also know that without the examples of others' lives to guide us by, we sometimes waste time trying things that will never work for us, when we could have learned it from watching someone else. lol

Motivation to me is a result of the confluence between the acceptance and acknowledgement of personal responsibility and the awareness of a need. The purpose behind awareness and need is to facilitate information gathering, observational data, internal regulation, etcetera through the use of gathered information to then "act" in order to resolve the stress created by the convergences of your realities in ways that will be of sustainable benefit. Some forms of motivation are external, others are internal - those that are external I am not as inclined to encourage anyone to use; they tend to be about guilt or accepting unrealistic expectation or self-hate as the method of achievement. I prefer and encourage others to learn about themselves, and to become more aware of the changes (the details) of what their choices are - compassionate skill development and re-humanization.

Personally, I've watched people come and go from gyms, I've known people who lift weight competitively; I have to say, I think we need fewer competitive sports, and more personal competitiveness after we've built a solid base of compassion first. The key to success in some cases is a well-developed self-flagellating competitiveness which I've seen ruin lives and bodies as often as it "beats" the competition; in other successes it is an ability to choose to do what is best for oneself, to compassionately become aware of needs, and of the results of efforts - these become lives I admire, who can still win competitions, but not through "beating" others instead, through self-actualization and egalitarian humanity.

Time in the gyms taught me a lot. I was never really very big on talking to anyone who attended, I made a few very close friends, and the rest I watched carefully and kept a distance from. I learned to use internal motivation as the resources for externally related goals and achievements, so I track my weight in a range different ways; scales (weight, fat percentage, water percentage / retention, muscle mass), calipers (skin fat measurement and applied understanding of fat to body mass - adjust the scale accordingly), measuring tape (those are the direct observational rewards when you're not "looking" like you've lost any weight recently - works best with calipers). I take pictures, journal, scrapbook, and I have tests done on lung capacity, resiliency etcetera; these also yield results that are tangible. I track how much lighter my regular walks seem to "feel" physically (take a walk, then do the same walk with added weights to see what the difference works out to); how much faster I can do the walks than I originally needed when I first started; how much more forgiving my body is when I get small injuries; how much more quickly I heal. I also pay attention to the amount of pleasure gained from little self-care routines that used to be difficult or painful to perform, that I can now to much more quickly, if I choose to - I find that at smaller sizes my skin is more sensitive to touch and constriction, it's more sensitive to even such things as air movement. I also note that I have fewer allergic reactions or stress responses like eczema or dermal irritations when I'm eating well and at a weight that's healthy. I also pay more attention to the natural health of my hair and skin - I look younger when I take care of myself. These small self-realizations all act as motivators for me - I want to enjoy more! The feeling of wind cooling the sweat on my skin as I do a fourth lap (jogging) when I used to be able to only manage a few steps walking.

I think / believe the most important aspect of healthful motivation that doesn't cause harm is Compassion. Accept that some days are going to be rough, and reaffirm for yourself that while your brain or your body may be feeling scared and encouraging you down an emotionally reactive path today, that tomorrow it will be admitting that you're choices are meeting it's needs, and that it's now willing to go back to doing what it needs to do with / in connection with rather than protesting out of fear of loss of something that has provided comfort, but failed to meet the needs - there you go, you can do it without the "binky (comfort blanket) of pounds, and look! You're having more fun without the binky! Woot Woot - selfie pics! Journal and scrapbook the new me, the realization of the day, the conquering of the old thought or physical craving and the acceptance of how grateful you are to self for the new changes it is helping you to maintain and enjoy!

Most of this I would never have learned for myself if not for having worked in a gym, then having gone through some trauma of my own that taught me that journaling and scrapbooking really are necessities for all of us, not options; necessities. We can look back on months or weeks previous and see what days we were thinking / feeling what things, our level of awareness of choices / options were and what we did with it, where a new one came from or how we came by an old one and realized it needed to be replaced because it was one that was totally not in line with what we needed. Journaling, scrapbooking and time lining / vision boarding (or similar constructs) can help us see directly how our brains and mind and emotions are not us, separate parts of us, they are the machines, and if we (the spiritual / universal / energetic convergence / awareness) don't become aware of how they work together, we can easily be overwhelmed by them. The works we engage in therefore directly give our separate parts and opportunity to thank themselves from us for having worked with us to create a new reality that is meeting our needs in ways that are life affirming and serving - the scientific evidence of our own well-examined life, that is now worth living

My motivation is being able to feel different muscle groups working as I walk or move (selfie pic opportunity), can I take a step and feel the glutes working - I know you've seen the selfies of taught butts / trim backs - I don't agree with the posting of it publicly, again it's destructive and damaging, though the act of having done so for oneself internally is acknowledgement of empowerment and responsibility? The thighs - perhaps a selfie in the gym mirror of making an effort to begin a new set of reps with a higher weight!? The calves - the day you complete all your standing calf presses without quivering, and instead realize there's been toning and definition this week and Oh MY!? The expansion and contraction in the ribs as you breathe and slice through the water in the pool, feeling your sides contract, feeling your body slide through the water like a javelin through air? Can I feel the muscles in my neck working differently when I jog, versus, run, versus walk or weight lift? Can I feel the stomach muscles contracting differently when I stand versus lean back, can I see that difference? The selfies help us to see that we have achieved self-mastery, and are continuing to put our knowledge to healthful life supportive sue in our living. Journaling and scrapbooking are a place to keep it all organized giving us a sense of completion, a way of looking back at what we've already accomplished and showing ourselves gratitude for our own efforts, and when others are attempting to take us apart or claim our success as theirs, a way to remind ourselves; they weren't and never will be in our skin, WE are the ones succeeding, they may be coaching, but WE are making the choices, making the efforts, achieving success, and love for ourselves. Keep these private - no one else gets to see them - NO ONE, if that means you create vr scrapbook and keep your journaling and tracking on a data stick that you keep in a bank vault - do it! lol

I spend a lot of time wondering what I will look like in five pounds less/more (five pounds less fat, five pounds more muscle)? The more weight I lose the more of a difference it makes, and I treat myself, and how I am changing how I treat a child I love; with patience, curiosity, acceptance, forgiveness and unconditional love. Some days we need to go back to unhealthy to see that we've changed and it's not as great as we thought / remembered (brain memory or sensory memory - two different places craving). My motivation is loving myself; because I can't count on anyone else doing that job as well as I can; though along the way if I'm staying focused on me, I will meet others who can share in their own living with me, and that is far more fulfilling than being used. My motivation; loving myself enough to be "my best me" for myself, for the rest of however long I may live. ^^

I'm sure that while you're reading all the posts, you'll come across the realization yourself, that self-love is a very important motivator and a basic determining factor in success. Enjoy your growing awareness of you; I hope your inner child and your inner smile bring you more joy and motivation than you can measure!

You have to find what works for you. What works for me isn't going to be what works for everyone.

But having said that, what works for me is my mirror. That may sound incredibly self centered, but when I look in the mirror I don't see what I want to see ... yet. I see the start of what I want. I'm not 300+ lbs. anymore but I'm not under 200 yet either, and I really, really want to see the first number on my scale be a 1. It's been a really, really, REALLY long time. It's going to happen for me. And if you find your motivation, it can happen for you.

So find food you can lose with and live with for the long term. Find an exercise plan that you truly enjoy (I loved mine so much that at 43 years old I became a licensed Zumba instructor). Find what works for you. And stay with MFP. I've tried everything. I mean EVERYTHING. And this community helps. It really, really does.

Hey bud! There comes a time, when you want it so bad, you do what it takes. For me, the motivation is MFP. Being able to discuss fitness and meeting all you fine people keeps my interest going. Loss will take time. Be patient, accountable, and stay with us; I assure you results will come. It's addicting!