"Here comes Chubby"
abneeds2lose65
Posts: 7
This was recently said about me, by one of the older folks at my work (not a coworker). The exact quote was "here comes Chubby, always trying to show it off". While I am even more motivated to lose weight (I am a work in progress) it brought up a question... What do people expect overweight people to wear while they are losing weight? I can not afford new clothes every 10+lbs I lose, what is one suppose to do? I work as a therapist in a rehab clinic so I have to make sure I wear clothes long enough to cover everything (blue tee and khaki pants) so I am not quite sure where the comment came from. Also, does one bring that up that you heard it and it is not 'OK' to say or just leave it?
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If you viewed the comment as being harassment, I'd report it to HR, especially if this individual has a history of inappropriate comments that could affect your ability to work and your comfort in the workplace. I'm so sorry to hear that happened to you. Some people are nasty and heartless.
I would also confront that person in private and let them know that the comment was completely inappropriate and that you won't tolerate it.
And if I were you, I'd continue to strut your stuff around work because you should be proud of your progress!!0 -
If I heard that from a coworker, I'd throat punch someone.
In all seriousness, if you've lost some weight maybe they're just jealous. Screw them. You should be proud of all your hard work. They'll be eating their words when you hit goal.0 -
All that comment means is that the person who said it has serious issues, probably about their own body. Wear whatever fits and is comfortable, and when you're out of work wear whatever you damn well please. You look great, and you're doing awesome things for your body- you can clothe it any way you want.
*edited for spelling0 -
"In all seriousness, if you've lost some weight maybe they're just jealous. Screw them. You should be proud of all your hard work. They'll be eating their words when you hit goal."
This ignore it let it go its not even worth your time be motivated hit your goal weight and when your slim with a new wardrobe watch them try to say something them ^_^0 -
Some people are just rude. If reporting it makes you feel better.... do so. But I would just ignore it. Let it roll off. You are so much more than a "clothing size". Do your best, be your best, feel good about who you are. Stay above it..... name callersxare just rude and insecure people......0
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You need to walk your getting-smaller-every-day-*kitten* to HR and file a report. It is not OK and it is double-triple-not-OK for this to be happening in the workplace. What if a client heard it, or worse, what if this person is also talking this way about clients?
I don't know what other people do, but I wear the larger size until the next size down fits appropriately. Right now that means lots of baggy clothing, but to me that looks better than too tight clothing that you are busting out of and makes you look bigger than you are. Shirts I think you can wear for quite awhile depending on how they are cut, and for pants I use a belt until it starts looking comical, then get a smaller size. I also buy a few cheap transitional pieces to get me through because sometimes you just need to have something that fits properly. I would try to get away with wearing the clothes you already have as much as you can, but know that you probably will have to buy a few things.0 -
Can you wear scrubs at work as a rehab therapist? They tend to be baggie and have elastic waists so they could last work for awhile.0
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Get motivated to shove the weight loss down their throat!0
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If I heard someone saying that at work of ANYONE I'd be knocking on HRs door - It's well out of order and bullying and should NOT be tolerated.0
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The lack of humanity and insensitivity of some people in this world still baffles me. Who walks up to someone and spews such insults? Obviously, this "person" is insecure about themselves, therefor criticizes others whom make them jealous. Keep doing what you're doing and ignore the crappy people of this world.0
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What a nasty, hateful thing for someone to say! I'm not sure what I would do in that situation -- I guess it would depend on whether it is someone I had to work with extensively. If so, I would speak to them privately, tell them how hurtful it was, and ask for an apology.
As for what to do while you are losing weight, since February of 2013, I have lost (and kept off) 22 pounds, and 3 sizes. At first I just used safety pins to keep skirts and pants from falling off. Then when the clothes I have invested a lot of money in or really needed for work starting getting REALLY baggy, I found an inexpensive alterations place and had them taken in, figuring that is a LOT cheaper than buying new clothes. I took other stuff to a second-hand store and made a few bucks to help defray the cost of having to buy smaller clothes -- not that I mind doing that, of course!
The best of luck in your journey to a smaller size, and don't let small-minded people dissuade you.0 -
...What do people expect overweight people to wear while they are losing weight?
Who gives a damn what people "expect?" Do what you think is the right thing.
And as for the idiot making comments about your weight... "Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people." - Eleanor Roosevelt
Bullies come in any age group. And it often shows up in elder populations because these people feel they have a loss of control. So pushing people around gives them some sense of control. And it's also common in elder populations with dementia, as they sort of revert back to childhood.0 -
If you viewed the comment as being harassment, I'd report it to HR, especially if this individual has a history of inappropriate comments that could affect your ability to work and your comfort in the workplace. I'm so sorry to hear that happened to you. Some people are nasty and heartless.
I would also confront that person in private and let them know that the comment was completely inappropriate and that you won't tolerate it.
And if I were you, I'd continue to strut your stuff around work because you should be proud of your progress!!
This. Does this person do it a lot?
Personally I'd take them aside first. If they're completely dismissive then take it to HR. This kind of behaviour should not be tolerated in the work place.0 -
one of the older folks at my work (not a coworker).
By older, do you mean, older like me... ( 53 ? ) or older, like 70+ ? And by 'not a coworker' do you mean a patient / client?
Because, if it's some old guy patient, I'd let the comment slide. Old people generally get a pass for saying stupid *kitten*, just because they are old.... and if he's a patient, and not a coworker, then again, let him make his dumbass comments, and just secretly pity him.0 -
one of the older folks at my work (not a coworker).
By older, do you mean, older like me... ( 53 ? ) or older, like 70+ ? And by 'not a coworker' do you mean a patient / client?
Because, if it's some old guy patient, I'd let the comment slide. Old people generally get a pass for saying stupid *kitten*, just because they are old.... and if he's a patient, and not a coworker, then again, let him make his dumbass comments, and just secretly pity him.
I would have to agree here, this wasn't a coworker so HR can't really do anything in this instance anyway. I have corrected my own father for inappropriate comments (he's 87), it's a different generation, "bullying" wasn't really something they are aware of.0 -
I, like you, can't afford to buy clothes every few pounds. Honestly, I just pin or sew stuff to not fall off my body. At least for now.0
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Let it roll off. You continue doing what you gotta do, and let the old farts say what they want.0
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I am glad I was called FAT by someone, it made me realise the problem and deal with it....0
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This person wasn't a coworker, but a client? Patient?This was recently said about me, by one of the older folks at my work (not a coworker). The exact quote was "here comes Chubby, always trying to show it off". While I am even more motivated to lose weight (I am a work in progress) it brought up a question... What do people expect overweight people to wear while they are losing weight? I can not afford new clothes every 10+lbs I lose, what is one suppose to do? I work as a therapist in a rehab clinic so I have to make sure I wear clothes long enough to cover everything (blue tee and khaki pants) so I am not quite sure where the comment came from. Also, does one bring that up that you heard it and it is not 'OK' to say or just leave it?
I'd report it to your supervisor.
Me, with my personality, I would've said something right away, such as, "Excuse me? Did that comment make you feel better about yourself?"
Because, that's why a person would say anything like that, to make themselves better.0 -
I wouldn't report it but I would take that person aside privately and tell them,
"I felt hurt when you commented on my looks. I'm sure you didn't mean to hurt me, but I thought you would want to know how it came across. I know you have no intention of hurting me and I respect you enough to let you know about this. Thanks for listening, this way we can both not let this effect us." and smile.
The trick to the above working is to really mean what you say. Only in choosing to "take the high road" and respectfully treat this person will you shed the anger/pain they caused you and the best part you will be teaching them a very IMPORTANT lesson in respect and humility while teaching yourself self-respect by showing them you won't tolerate being hurt and that you're above "low blows" by showing how respectful you are of them by handling it in a pro-active kind way.
Good luck
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Thanks for all the support and suggestions everyone, it wasn't a patient/client but a family member that visits rather frequently. I am going to take them aside and politely state that the comment wasn't welcome.0
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Report and keep doing what you're doing.0
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You should really contact your human resources department. Don't bother talking to them about what they said. Bullies keep coming unless you push back. And, you may be strong enough to look past it, but the next person they seek to hurt may not.0
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Congrats on your weight loss so far and keep up the good work!
About that person, repeat this to yourself as often as necessary till it sinks in:
"The way people treat you is a statement about who they are as a human being, It is not a statement about you."
Because that, my dear, is the truth.0 -
Be Proud...screw them...I work in retail and am doing this with my best friend and we are proud and let people know...hold your head up high...you are so much better than them...Its a shame Grown people act like children !!!!0
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I wouldn't take it. If she were to make a comment like that to me I would tell them they had no right to mistreat me. It's outright rude and disrespectful. If it were to happen on a regular basis then I'd go to hr.0
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one of the older folks at my work (not a coworker).
By older, do you mean, older like me... ( 53 ? ) or older, like 70+ ? And by 'not a coworker' do you mean a patient / client?
Because, if it's some old guy patient, I'd let the comment slide. Old people generally get a pass for saying stupid *kitten*, just because they are old.... and if he's a patient, and not a coworker, then again, let him make his dumbass comments, and just secretly pity him.
I was going to ask this same question.
If the person is an older 70+ client you should probably still report it to your supervisor. Most workplaces do have anti-bullying policies that also incorporate visitors and clients/patients, especially hospitals. At the very least this person may be reminded by someone in charge that this sort of talk is not acceptable.
A lot of older people, those who aren't nice, think it is still acceptable to spew out hateful things as they have gotten away with it all their lives. The number of older people I hear making extremely racist , sexist or rude comments in public is astounding.
As for telling the person that you find their comment hurtful, well personally I don't think they will give 2 hoots. They already know it is hurtful. My response would be to kindly ask them what exactly do they mean with their comment and really put them on the spot. Especially if there are people around.0 -
What an *kitten*.
I don't think anyone should comment on weight, but people don't really understand what's impolite about it, especially when they're being mean-spirited.
I'm generally too shy and awkward to respond to things like that. One time when I was a teenager, I was working at a deli/grill place, and there was this teenage boy a few years younger than me who would do stocking or cleaning, I don't remember. Anyway, his friends came in to the place and started making jokes about me. More cushion for the pushin' and stuff like that.
People are jerks. And it's up to you whether you want to respond. Some people have given you really great advice. You honestly deserve to be treated better. And NONE of us should be made to feel ashamed because of our weight. We're our own worst critics sometimes, and we don't need anyone else to contribute to that.0 -
What do people expect overweight people to wear while they are losing weight?
Clothing, I think. :bigsmile:
If people are comfortable with doing there own sewing the a good thing to try out is making a duck tape dress form. If you google there are a few blogs out there that talk about it. Using a dress form helps with tailoring clothing and is cheaper then getting a real one because you can make a new one with plastic wrap and duck tape.
Belts are great to keep your pants up too. Wal-mart might have some inexpensive belts with designs on them. Those can brighten up my day.0
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