Does Anyone Else have "Sabotage-rs"? How do you deal?

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Thencalisays
Thencalisays Posts: 29 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
Since January I have lost about 30lbs and I have worked pretty hard to do so. I am half way to my goal. Enter my mother, anytime she comes over she leaves little things, it's usually candy, sweets, carbs. She will open it, eat a little bit, then "forget" it here (in my pantry usually), most recently it was a slow cooker chocolate peanut butter recipe and candy on the counter. I don't know if she is consciously doing it, or what. Then in the same breath she will ask me to show her "that fitness app you use" like MFP is doing the WORK for me. One night when she was babysitting my husband was packing his lunch for work and my mom started making comments about my weight loss, asking if he was "sure she is doing it a healthy way". He set her straight and made sure she knew how hard I was working. I have also talked to her at length about what I am doing and have asked her not to bring junk food into our house and leave it around. I have been hoping to motivate her to start living healthier and make better choices. How do you deal with people, especially family, that try to sabotage your progress?

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  • neandermagnon
    neandermagnon Posts: 7,436 Member
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    The word you're looking for is saboteur

    I don't think she's doing it on purpose. It's a mother's instinct to feed her children. If you refuse all sweets etc then she's going to worry that you're being unhealthy.

    Best way I find of dealing with unwanted food offerings where refusal is likely to offend, is to accept the food with thanks then get rid of it later when they're not looking. if they ask why you're not eating it there and then, just say you're not hungry right now and you'll have it later, and put it in the fridge.
  • psitzmary
    psitzmary Posts: 6 Member
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    Ah ha! I am married to one! Well, I was and recently, after starting for the 100th time in losing this weight, I decided to respect his wish to do what he does but I, wanted to be healthier. After feeling as good as I am doing, and knowing that I do not want to be where I was, the junk no longer bothered me. I see it but don't see it. I am too busy enjoying how good I am feeling and seeing the success, though mine may be small right now, I, at least know that I am on my way.
    Since I started doing that, my husband started cutting out the junk. When I noticed that, I started sharing with him my program and how good I was feeling. He saw how determined I was in doing my workout and my eating habits. I adjusted the scale in the bathroom for him and told him I think get on it and see because I think he has already loss quite a few pounds. He got on it and He did lose 32 lbs. And so today, he even fixed his bike and rode while I was brisk walking. Yes! There is a God! Hang in there!
    Mary!
  • Casistrophic
    Casistrophic Posts: 26 Member
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    My mother is really bad about this too. She is very overweight and whenever I start to succeed in making a lifestyle change it makes her feel bad about herself. It's especially hard since I don't have a job and I live at home, so she is in control of the groceries. Often I'll ask her to buy healthy things and she'll completely ignore me and come back with pizza rolls. It is very frustrating that she has to take her low self-image out on me, even if she isn't consciously doing it.
  • Strokingdiction
    Strokingdiction Posts: 1,164 Member
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    She sounds like a harmless mom. When you're doing your farewells, make sure she's taking everything with her that she brought in or just toss it after she leaves if you lack willpower to incorporate it into your diet.

    Whenever we visit my SO's parents, his mom is always trying to send all the leftover from a meal home with us. I say okay if it's something I want or just say no thank you if it's not. It's really not that difficult.
  • ReneeIsReady
    ReneeIsReady Posts: 97 Member
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    Oh absolutely! My boyfriend continuously acts as if he hasn't a clue of what's going on and I to have been at this since January and lost over 30 pounds. Just tonite he bought me some Breyer's Oreo Cookie Blast ice cream and I asked him who was the ice cream for and he looks at me and says "Well you know I don't eat oreo ice cream". I told him "ok then, it can sit next to the Baskin Robin oreo cookie ice cream that's been sitting here since January." Over the past 3 months I've come to the realization that knowone else can do this for me but me and its completely up to me to be responsible and have self control over what I eat and how much I eat.

    Good luck on your journey and stay strong!!!

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