Best Advice I Ever Got

Aeramis13
Aeramis13 Posts: 135 Member
in Motivation and Support
I just posted this, on the fly, and realized that it's probably worth sharing further. I'm going to edit it some, but this is, BY FAR, the BEST advice I could possibly have gotten. I don't have kids, but I feel like it especially fits to the moms & dads who feel like they're holding back on their kids when they're spending time counting calories and working out:

This will likely be the most selfish thing you've ever done. SELFISH. TOTALLY SELFISH.

You will focus on yourself in a way that you've never done. You will think about how you eat, how you look, how you feel. You will focus on it. A lot.

You will learn to listen to yourself, your body, your everything. And it will be great.

You will feel awesome, but even better, your selfishness will mean that you can offer more of yourself to those in your life. The end result of your selfishness is the opposite of selfish.

You will participate more in others lives. You will be more than willing to go on adventures, you will smile for photos when people want to see you, you will say yes to that bike ride, yes to that 5k, yes to whatever life throws at you because you finally realize you are awesome.

SO BE SELFISH. F* the A*holes in the meantime. Own This. Own Yourself. Get it. YOU ARE WORTH IT.

And those in your life are worth it. Putting the time in now, so you can be there for them later, IS WORTH IT.

YOU. ARE. WORTH. IT.

You. Are.

Replies

  • lmhbuss
    lmhbuss Posts: 282 Member
    I'm just bumping this cuz I like it.
  • Aeramis13
    Aeramis13 Posts: 135 Member
    Glad somebody does. It really was the thing that made it click for me.

    I've only been married for a couple years, and I'm with someone who is able to continue his fairly decent physique while eating like crap. I didn't want to disrupt how we eat together, and how I spend time with my/our friends. Someone who made the choice told me this advice and it allowed me to make the difficult choices.

    I've been lucky that I don't feel the need to adhere to overly restrictive diets to make my way, but even counting calories can be restrictive when you're always eating with someone who can eat anything based on the activity they get from their work (i work a desk, he runs all over the place all week). Realizing that I'm giving longevity to our marriage by eating separately sometimes was sadly huge for me. He can be an adult, choosing what to eat on the nights that i restrict my calories. And when we eat together, even if i go over, i don't have to 'freak'. it's okay to 'go over', but it's also okay to do what i need to do for me. because it's FOR US.
  • RomulanWarbird
    RomulanWarbird Posts: 230
    It's the best advice, I agree. I didn't start taking care of myself until I decided I loved myself and I deserved to be fit and healthy. Now, eating well and working out is a part of my daily routine that I enjoy. Workouts are my -me- time, and I don't feel guilty. It's the good kind of selfish. Even though I'm still overweight, I'm starting to even love my chubby belly as it shrinks and changes, just because I'm taking care of myself.

    It's made all the difference in the world just to change how I think. Over 100 lbs gone and counting, and the best changes have been in my outlook. But having a really nice butt doesn't hurt.
  • canadjineh
    canadjineh Posts: 5,396 Member
    I agree, but also I'd like to add that there is nothing wrong & everything right about helping the other people in your life join you in health. Invite the kids out for a bike ride when you want some exercise, Take them when you run the dog at the dog park. Bring them grocery shopping with you (after they've had a little snack) and show them how to pick out ripe fruit and yummy veggies and read food labels & what they mean. Go get an ice cream cone with them, sure, but don't just eat it in the car, go for a walk along the beach, in a park, or just around your neighbourhood. You don't have to wait and just be there for them later. You can be there for them NOW & be getting healthier and teaching them valuable lessons in a warm, caring way at the same time.
  • RenaTX
    RenaTX Posts: 345 Member
    No, no, no. It's not selfish. I know what you mean but it truly isn't selfish. Taking care of yourself is one of the best things you can do for those you love.

    Not only does taking care of yourself mean you will be around for those you love or you won't become a burden ( for lack of better words here) but you are also being a good role model and setting the path for them to better health.

    I know it must feel selfish when you take care of yourself but it's not. I agree however if you just can't see how it's really something you are doing for love and you still feel like it's selfish then yes! There is absolutely nothing wrong with being a little selfish!
  • broox80
    broox80 Posts: 1,195 Member
    Very awesome! !!! I totally agree. I think you have to dive into this and let it totally consume you for it to work. I have half assed this my whole life and I end back at square one because I feel guilty about exercising etc. I spend the time on myself for my physical and mental well being. No regrets at all!!!
    Great post!!!!
  • Spacegirlley
    Spacegirlley Posts: 80 Member
    Great advice! I'm learning to be more selfish when it comes to my weight loss and fitness goals as well. Hubby knows he's free to eat what ever he likes, but what gets served on the table is going to be healthy meals that fit within my calories. He just usually goes for a bigger helping then I do. I need to be selfish now, so when we have kids I am healthy enough to do everything a mum needs to do. As well as be a fit healthy wife that can keep up with everything day to day life throws at us. Hubby is already seeing the benefits of the selfish me, and he loves it ;)
  • gettingsexy94
    gettingsexy94 Posts: 156 Member
    Awesome advice :D I'm not a parent, but I do agree. Sometimes, I get so carried away with trying to please others, I forget who I am and what it is that I want, so this really helps. Thanks for the reminder! I need to be selfish sometimes :D To remember who I am! Rediscovering my true self!

    Thank you! xx
  • Aeramis13
    Aeramis13 Posts: 135 Member
    Awesome advice :D I'm not a parent, but I do agree. Sometimes, I get so carried away with trying to please others, I forget who I am and what it is that I want, so this really helps. Thanks for the reminder! I need to be selfish sometimes :D To remember who I am! Rediscovering my true self!

    Thank you! xx

    I'm not a parent either, so I really do think this fits for everyone, just noted that it seems to work especially well for those who focus on the family they're raising...
  • Mhaigh27
    Mhaigh27 Posts: 3
    This is great!
    Bumping
  • eldamiano
    eldamiano Posts: 2,667 Member
    I just posted this, on the fly, and realized that it's probably worth sharing further. I'm going to edit it some, but this is, BY FAR, the BEST advice I could possibly have gotten. I don't have kids, but I feel like it especially fits to the moms & dads who feel like they're holding back on their kids when they're spending time counting calories and working out:

    This will likely be the most selfish thing you've ever done. SELFISH. TOTALLY SELFISH.

    You will focus on yourself in a way that you've never done. You will think about how you eat, how you look, how you feel. You will focus on it. A lot.

    You will learn to listen to yourself, your body, your everything. And it will be great.

    You will feel awesome, but even better, your selfishness will mean that you can offer more of yourself to those in your life. The end result of your selfishness is the opposite of selfish.

    You will participate more in others lives. You will be more than willing to go on adventures, you will smile for photos when people want to see you, you will say yes to that bike ride, yes to that 5k, yes to whatever life throws at you because you finally realize you are awesome.

    SO BE SELFISH. F* the A*holes in the meantime. Own This. Own Yourself. Get it. YOU ARE WORTH IT.

    And those in your life are worth it. Putting the time in now, so you can be there for them later, IS WORTH IT.

    YOU. ARE. WORTH. IT.

    You. Are.

    Yawn....
  • corgicake
    corgicake Posts: 846 Member
    bump :)

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