How can I feel better in a bikini?

_lyndseybrooke_
_lyndseybrooke_ Posts: 2,561 Member
in Motivation and Support
I've worn a bikini exactly one Summer in my 24 years of life. I was mildly uncomfortable, but I managed to keep it in throughout the Summer months. The next year, it was back to my trusty tankini. Tankinis are my "comfort zone," because they do show more skin and are generally "younger" looking than a regular one-piece, but they cover most of my stomach at the same time. The problem with tankinis and that I like to tan and, ever year, I get this really awkward ring of tanned skin around my lower torso and my belly button up to the top of my breasts is white as snow.

I WANT to wear a bikini this year. The thing is, if someone my size asked a, "Can I wear a bikini?" question here on MFP and they had my stats (5'5" 138 lbs) I'd tell them hell yeah they should wear one. But, for some reason, it's not so easy to convince myself. I'm not overweight, but I do have some excess fat and that general "skinny fat" look going on. I'm lifting to improve that, but I know I won't make any vast improvements in the next few weeks, and the pool in my subdivision is already open.

Now, I'm not trying to fish for compliments and I'm not just here so people will say, "OMG, you should totally wear a bikini!" I'm just looking for a little motivation - how can I shove away my discomfort and just forget about what other people may or may be thinking. Do you have any tips and tricks for making yourself feel better in a swimsuit?
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Replies

  • Derpes
    Derpes Posts: 2,033 Member
    I know nothing about the whole comfort/swimsuit thing, but as it relates to getting outside of your comfort zone in general, it is like swimming in cold water (ironically); It feels uncomfortable at first, but you eventually warm up. Wear it once, then twice, and by that time you may be comfortable.
  • devilwhiterose
    devilwhiterose Posts: 1,157 Member
    I quit caring. "No matter how big I may think I am, there will always be someone bigger at the beach."

    At the end of the day, will you see any of those folks again? Do you want to miss your tanning opportunity based off of what some stranger might think?

    We are all from different walks of life. I had twins, I need a tummytuck, I need to lose about 40-50 pounds. Some folks on here might say..."Jesus christ, you're fat, cover up." Others might go..."Hell ya mama, rock it!"

    My favorite quote? "I do not care what you think about me. I do not think about you at all!"
  • Loralrose
    Loralrose Posts: 203
    I've never been comfortable in a bikini either, though for different reasons. Mostly because they feel so... precarious? Like they'll fall off if I do anything too vigorous. Not comforting! But I'm a tall girl with broad shoulders so it's really hard finding a one-piece that fits me right.

    My best advice is to start wearing it around the house. If you have a somewhat private yard, do some sunbathing there in your bikini. You'll start to not notice it as much. Then one day you just gotta pull on that sexy swimsuit and strut your way down to the beach like you own the place.
  • bekahlou75
    bekahlou75 Posts: 304 Member
    I quit caring. "No matter how big I may think I am, there will always be someone bigger at the beach."

    Totally agree. You will look better than someone else and someone else will look better than you.
    Where do you lay out to get sun? I have a skimpy bikini that I wear to lay out in the sun at home and a going out in public bikini. This helps me with the tan lines.
    Also, you could go to a tanning bed. Lay naked in that and have no tan lines.

    (bracing for the tanning bed bashing)
  • WickedPineapple
    WickedPineapple Posts: 698 Member
    I wore a bikini for the first time last year (5'1" 145 lbs US size 8). Tankinis were always my choice as well because one pieces never fit my shape, but now my shape has gotten to a point where nothing, not even a tankini, fits properly. (If it fits around my bust, it's loose around my stomach and floats upward anyway.) So for my honeymoon I just said screw it (I won't know anyone there anyway), got a tardis blue bikini, and pretended I was the only one on the beach aside from Mr. Pineapple.
  • aqualeo1
    aqualeo1 Posts: 331 Member
    If you figure this one out let me know :)
  • _lyndseybrooke_
    _lyndseybrooke_ Posts: 2,561 Member
    I quit caring. "No matter how big I may think I am, there will always be someone bigger at the beach."

    Totally agree. You will look better than someone else and someone else will look better than you.
    Where do you lay out to get sun? I have a skimpy bikini that I wear to lay out in the sun at home and a going out in public bikini. This helps me with the tan lines.
    Also, you could go to a tanning bed. Lay naked in that and have no tan lines.

    (bracing for the tanning bed bashing)

    I swore off the tanning bed a few years ago. I prefer tanning in the sun. Plus, $50/month and expensive tanning lotion all for a tan when I can get one for free? Nahhh.
  • TheGymGypsy
    TheGymGypsy Posts: 1,023 Member
    I have seen women of all shapes and sizes in bikinis. As long as you think you look good and carry yourself with confidence, you will look amazing! A 300 pound woman in a bikini who feels good about herself is probably going to look better then someone who is 120 pounds and self conscious.
  • AllOutof_Bubblegum
    AllOutof_Bubblegum Posts: 3,646 Member
    Lift HEAVY weights! Often! You will get a bikini body, guaranteed. Keep in mind that you are asking this pretty late in the game to see the results you're probably hoping for by THIS summer. You don't have any bikini pics posted, so it's hard to tell what kind of change you are hoping for, but you can't work huge miracles in just three months, remember to be realistic. I'd set your goal for next summer.

    edited for a weird typo
  • ErinMLB
    ErinMLB Posts: 100 Member
    get a bikini with a good chunk of structure and it'll help with the confidence! The right bathing suit= extra confidence, the wrong bathing=not so much. But also just remember not nearly as many people are as concerned about what you look like in a bikini than you think!
  • jim180155
    jim180155 Posts: 769 Member
    I have seen women of all shapes and sizes in bikinis. As long as you think you look good and carry yourself with confidence, you will look amazing! A 300 pound woman in a bikini who feels good about herself is probably going to look better then someone who is 120 pounds and self conscious.

    Yup.

    Having said that, I have the same problem with my new Tilley hat. It's a broad brimmed cowboyish looking hat. I've worn ball caps all my life. I feel strange in my new hat, like people are laughing at me. When I wear it in public I keep my mouth shut and try to look like I'm from a different country, hopefully one where they wear cowboy hats all the time.

    And I too am concerned with tan lines, but in a different way.
  • _lyndseybrooke_
    _lyndseybrooke_ Posts: 2,561 Member
    Lift HEAVY weights! Often! You will get a bikini body, guaranteed. Keep in mind that you are asking this pretty late in the game to see the results you're probably hoping for by THIS summer. You don't have any bikini pics posted, so it's hard to tell what kind of change you are hoping for, but you can't work huge miracles in just three months, remember to be realistic. I'd set your goal for next summer.

    edited for a weird typo

    I do lift heavy. Well, I'm a wimp, but I lift heavy (for me). I'm doing the SL 5x5 right now. I know I won't get results this Summer, which is why I'm asking this question. I don't want to go without a bikini this year just because I don't have the exact body I want yet.
  • fauxpunker
    fauxpunker Posts: 59 Member
    I'd felt similarly being fairly harry and gaining weight. After trying various hair removal attempts and finding out just how sensitive my skin is (broke out worse than a 14yr old with a hormonal problem), I've finally come to terms with it. I'd rather cool off and swim than miss out on the fun. And now that I'm slimming back down, it's becoming less of an issue :-)
  • MicheleWE
    MicheleWE Posts: 179 Member
    Thanks for asking this question because it's one I need the answer to as well. I've never worn a bikini and I am going on my first cruise next fall. I really want to wear one, but I want to feel comfortable in it as well. I am modest and a bathing suit is so exposing, no where to hide, but I don't think my chances of wearing one are going to get any better than they are right now. The clock is ticking! Guess I'll be trotting around the house in one and learning to wear it with confidence!
  • TKhamvongsa
    TKhamvongsa Posts: 287
    You could get a tan? (a lot believe that getting tan will make you look more toned/slimmer) Start lifting weights/strength training and honestly just be confident about your body. Do not compare yourself to others as well. Wear that bikin and have fun in it!
  • xWendyJonesx
    xWendyJonesx Posts: 266 Member
    I'm exactly the same, I really want to wear a bikini this summer, but even though I'm almost at my goal, I feel good in my clothes, but I still think it'll be the trusty tankini I'll be wearing on my holidays this year.
    I'm 5ft8 147lbs UK size 10 bottom size 12 top, all I see when I look in the mirror is my jelly belly and I'm sure it won't look good in a bikini, I'm trying really hard though, I've even started the C25K in hopes that might work, along with all the other exercise I do and healthy eating.

    I wish you the best of luck in reaching your bikini goals.
  • BusyRaeNOTBusty
    BusyRaeNOTBusty Posts: 7,166 Member
    Everyone is practically naked at the pool anyway. Why does a few extra inches of fabric make a difference? It's just some skin. No one is going to be judging you negatively (okay someone might but **** them), they'll be too concerned with their own bodies, or not letting their kids drown, or that hot guy over there, etc.
  • jrhm
    jrhm Posts: 47 Member
    I like this idea, because it is your mindset that keeps you from being comfortable in a skimpy bikini, so if you start out wearing it in your own back yard, and another one for going to your community pool, you will get comfortable in the skimpy one the more you wear it; and one day you will decide to wear it to the pool. It is harder to wear one to a community pool where you know people then it is to wear it to the beach where everyone is a stranger. But, you will get there; don't give up.
  • beakueng
    beakueng Posts: 7
    Sorry, but I disagree with the "lift heavy weights" comment. Try out the Jilllian Michels videos on youtube - lots of different ones. They're great, you can do them at home whenever you have time and all you need are a mat and a few light weights. I noticed a difference after only one week - alternating the 6-week 6-pack video and the Shred video. Have fun!

    Of course, I also think you should wear a bikini if you want to, no matter what you look like. But you don't seem comfy with that, so see above ;-)
  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member
    1.) Keep lifting- (you WILL get results by this summer)
    2.) Buy one YOU LOVE- if you don't love it- don't buy it. You'll never be happy if you don't love it.
    3.) wear it more often- put it on and walk around in it-
    4.) have some wine/beer.

    And go forth- and be fabulous.
  • allaboutthecake
    allaboutthecake Posts: 1,535 Member
    Wear your teeny bikini at a crowded beach. The more people, the less noticeable just one person is. That self-consciousness you feel will disappear.
  • lmr0528
    lmr0528 Posts: 427 Member
    I'm not sure any woman anywhere is completely comfortable wearing a bikini. I'm going on a trip with my husband and all our friends this summer to the Dominican Republic. I'm going to be wearing a bathing suit most of that time. I took my husband shopping one night, got a whole bunch of different swimsuits to try on, all different styles and cuts. I had him help me to find the one that fit my body type the best. Will I still feel comfortable and happy with how I look? Probably not. But whenever I feel that way, I will just remind myself that I'm in a different country, so I will never see any of these other people again. And I'll be with our close friends who love me the way I am. If they are my true friends, they will not be judging how I look in my bikini.
  • havenbaby
    havenbaby Posts: 7 Member
    Go to the nude beach and bare all and than you will want to wear that bikini ; )
  • fauxpunker
    fauxpunker Posts: 59 Member
    Go to the nude beach and bare all and than you will want to wear that bikini ; )

    Ah, the old crank it to 11 approach. Always a great perspective builder :-)
  • _lyndseybrooke_
    _lyndseybrooke_ Posts: 2,561 Member
    Ok, so this is my first time posting pictures like this, so be nice. :) These are my most recent "during" shots - taken about a month ago, so I look the same. As you can see, I'm not overweight, but I do have the skinny fat thing for sure. Just NO definition and a bit of extra fat still.

    dr2xpy.jpg

    I feel good in clothes, even in my short shorts, but it's my stomach that I'm most concerned about, which is why I'm lifting. There's no muffin top, loose skin, etc., but I'm still self-conscious about it. I really need to work on my body image, I know. Just posting this picture on a forum full of strangers makes me nervous. Maybe this is my first step in increasing my confidence! We'll see.
  • fauxpunker
    fauxpunker Posts: 59 Member
    We are our own worst critics.
  • mymodernbabylon
    mymodernbabylon Posts: 1,038 Member
    If I had your body I would happily and I mean VERY happily wear a bikini. You look great. Most women have a bit of belly fat and still look fabulous in bikinis. You don't have to have a FLAT belly or a six-pack...for most women it's not even possible due to genetics (I will lose everywhere but my stomach). My plan is to wear a bikini this summer even though I probably won't be even as thin as you...I just don't care if one random idiot thinks I'm not mean to wear one - to hell with them!
  • jim180155
    jim180155 Posts: 769 Member
    Ok, so this is my first time posting pictures like this, so be nice. :) These are my most recent "during" shots - taken about a month ago, so I look the same. As you can see, I'm not overweight, but I do have the skinny fat thing for sure. Just NO definition and a bit of extra fat still.

    dr2xpy.jpg

    I feel good in clothes, even in my short shorts, but it's my stomach that I'm most concerned about, which is why I'm lifting. There's no muffin top, loose skin, etc., but I'm still self-conscious about it. I really need to work on my body image, I know. Just posting this picture on a forum full of strangers makes me nervous. Maybe this is my first step in increasing my confidence! We'll see.

    This was not at all what I was expecting.

    Wear the bikini. Wear it proudly. You'll be some of the nice scenery at the beach.
  • lizzyclatworthy
    lizzyclatworthy Posts: 296 Member
    Make sure you tie it properly... this is my only advice.
    Tho you'll not care what you look like with it on once you've shown the whole beach what it looks like off! :grumble:
  • MicheleWE
    MicheleWE Posts: 179 Member
    OP, you look great! If I looked like you I don't think I'd have a problem wearing a bikini at all! I on the other hand sport all of the mommy stretch marks and stretched skin of years of obesity. This thread helped push me over the edge and I just ordered a one piece bikini and a bikini with some high waisted bottoms. I am determined to do this. But, OP, please don't stand next to me ;)

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