Family Drama and the holidays...

twinsmomma02
twinsmomma02 Posts: 79 Member
edited September 2024 in Motivation and Support
So in a nutshell, my sister who is 18 months older than me, who has always been my best friend, but as the same time extremely competitive with everything when it comes to me, didn't even acknowledge my weight loss when she saw me the other day for the Holidays. We had a fight over the summer and had not spoken since the end of July and I am assuming maybe she is still holding a major grudge even though she seemed quite friendly and fine with me. Anyway, I saw her for the first time on Christmas Eve, and she didn't say a word to me the entire day about my noticeable weight loss. The last time she saw me, I was wearing size 18's. This time, I was wearing size 12 and was about 35 pounds lighter. I know I look completely different and have changed how I look drastically since she last saw me over the summer. I have seen other friends that hadn't seen me in a few months and they can't stop talking about how different I look, and want to know what I have been doing. But yet, my sister, who is supposed to be one of my best friends in this world, didn't say a single word to me all day or night. Her husband made it a point to say something to me when he first saw me about how much I had shrank since the last time he saw me, and he was very interested in what I have been doing. But yet, still nothing from my sister. I was so completely crushed and hurt that she didn't say a word, or bother to congratulate me, because she personally knows first hand about my struggles all of my life with my weight. I am just feeling so hurt by her complete lack of acknowledgement of how hard I have been working to lose this weight... One nice comment or statement would have been wonderful, but yet I received nothing. I don't know how to deal with it and I sit here and question why I care so much about this, and wonder why she wouldn't say anything. She is a doctor, and has never really struggled with her weight at all. She has always been the thinner one... Any thoughts or insight, or advice on how to deal with this would be greatly appreciated.

Replies

  • amysj303
    amysj303 Posts: 5,086 Member
    sounds like if you had not spoken since the end of July then there are major issues. Maybe she thought he husband's comments were enough and didn't want to keep on about it, or maybe, since she doesn't struggle with her weight, she thought it would unkind to say something. You never know unless you ask her. If she is your best friend you could say to her that you were hurt that she must know how hard you struggled and how you've worked for her not to ackowledge it and see what she says.
    don't let it ruin your holidays, it sounds like she was being friendly, so maybe clear the air after the holidays or work out the issue from July.
    Congrats on your progress and good luck!
  • ProTFitness
    ProTFitness Posts: 1,379 Member
    Maybe she is envious of your hard work and sucess and she does not know how to communicate how she feels or what she is feeling. Not everyone will praise you for your hard work and effort. As long as you praise yourself for your hard work that is all that should matter.
  • whittrusty
    whittrusty Posts: 533 Member
    Sounds like she's not going to say anything to you, so you should make the first move. You don't want to ruin the relationship with your sister over something that happened months ago.

    Concentrate on rebuilding the relationship and then I'm sure she will congratulate you on your weight loss.
  • bethany41h
    bethany41h Posts: 218
    It is hard to say why she didn't mention the weight loss. She may have thought since you two were on the "offs" that it may have been rude to mention it for fear of insulting you or perhaps she just wasn't yet ready to put aside what happened over the summer. Whatever the case may be, I'd say the source of the tension is whatever transpired in July and I would start with resolving that. Somtimes it can be hard to take the high road, but when it comes to family (and a best friend), I think you will find that it is worth it.
  • twinsmomma02
    twinsmomma02 Posts: 79 Member
    Thank you all for the advice and insight.... I think I am going to call her in a few days and see if we can get together to resolve things. I think I just needed to vent!
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