I just don't know where to start

Maybe staying around 1200 calories is not a good choice for you?

What calorie range does MFP recommend if you aim for a 1 pound per week loss? Perhaps you have your goal set as too aggressive. Being 'super strict' doesnt' sound like something you can maintain long term. I know I couldn't.

Cheating is a mindset thing. Food isn't good or bad. Its nutrition and fuel. Nothing wrong with enjoying a treat here & there, but plan for it. Fit it into your daily routine. If you readjust your goals, it should give you a higher daily calorie range. Something that you won't have to feel so restricted, so you won't have to feel like you're cheating. Aim to follow that routine 6 days a week, and perhaps 1 day add an extra 500 calories in if you feel like you need it. That's the deficit for 1 day, so it would be eating at a deficit 6 days & maintenance 1 day. Sustainable, and not so strict. But healthy and something you can do for a while to reach your goals.

Edited to add: saw your end note. At 195 pounds, perhaps even a goal of 1.5 pounds instead of 1 - but should still up your calorie intake range and be a more reasonable goal. Also weigh your foods, of course, and log everything.

1310 is less restrictive - and as you increase your activity you can eat more for 'exercise' calories also.

Personally I am now 153.7 (SW 178 and GW 140) and aim for 1400-1600 calories per day. I am not a very active person, but that is a work in progress. My diary is open if you want to take a look. I eat fast food, I weigh everything possible, and I try to get more fruits & veggies every day. Also working at drinking more water - not a personal favorite but making progress.

MFP says 1200 calories/day for 2lbs/week and 1310/day for 1.5lbs/week.

I'm going to start weighing my food religously.

Just starting MFP so i can track my progress. Im already down 40 pounds in the last couple months! Still have 60 more to lose, so hopefully this will keep me on track.

I think an important part of 'getting started' is setting up a plan you can stick with. The nightly walks are great - for weight loss but so much more. Heart & lung health, energy, etc. I figure if we look at this from 2 directions it makes it so much more manageable. Move more, and be more observant of food choices. We can do this!

Take 5 minutes for yourself occasionally. Get up, stretch, walk around. Doesn't have to be a big deal. My logic is moving more is better even if its just a little here and there. Over time those 5-10 extra calories spent will add up.