Is it discouraging to you when people comment on how easy it

karenfelloutofbedagain
karenfelloutofbedagain Posts: 23
edited September 22 in Motivation and Support
I've lost 62 lbs from my highest weight (at nine months pregnant) in 16 months, and believe me, I've worked for every ounce of it. What's really discouraging and insulting to me is how people comment on how 'easy' it is for me to lose weight. My mother and my sister especially will complain that it's not fair how 'easy' the weight comes off for me. It makes me really angry because not only do I get up and take my toddler to the gym every morning, but I don't take shortcuts like my family-- I park far away from the entrance at WalMart, take the stairs, etc. I push myself to not be lazy. And, I turn down foods I really want in favor of healthy snacks. My family reiterates that it's 'not fair' that I can eat all the time and still lose weight-- while I'm munching carrots and they're having fried chicken as a between-meals snack! Should I bother trying to get them to actually recognize the effort I put into this, or just let them diminish my success by believing that it's just 'luck'?

Replies

  • Canonoch
    Canonoch Posts: 120
    Oh I know what you mean.
  • kittytrix
    kittytrix Posts: 557 Member
    It's definitely not easy. I have to take steroids in pretty high doses for my asthma and I have to fight for every single pound. I get a little more discouraged when I hear how pounds melt off peole when all they do is switch from soda to water. I don't drink soda, hardly ever have sweets, and don't eat many fried foods but I still have to work out hard. But it also makes it that much sweeter.

    Don't get discouraged and know that it's probably them rationalizing why they "can't" do it. They may need to know that it's not that easy and if they want the help you will be there, too.

    Keep on keeping on.
  • HealthyChanges2010
    HealthyChanges2010 Posts: 5,831 Member
    why let it bother you? You're the one getting healthier eating your way Hon:wink: Easy? no way! Simple? absolutely, eating healthy food, making better choices, working out regularly and keeping a positive mind set. = a change in lifestyle.

    Perhaps they only wish it was easy for them as they view it it is for you. But that's the thing, they are viewing it from a skewed point of view, they likely are NOT seeing all the hard work you put in and the food choices you've made differently.

    Please try not to let them get you down, it's just not worth it... you're doing great and perhaps your example might one day make them see it all more clearly ;o)

    :wink: :flowerforyou: :heart:
  • mccorml
    mccorml Posts: 622 Member
    go to the tools thing and print out the graphs on how many days you stayed within the alotted calories and exercise and show them hey its not easy haha
  • TaraMaria
    TaraMaria Posts: 1,975
    I used to be one of those people. My sister was always very skinny. She used to be the person with a very high metabolism and could loose weight just thinking about pizza. But as I started my weight loss journey she has commented that things have changed and now, she watched more what she puts in her mouth, works out more and puts more into it. I'm very careful about what I say now so that I don't offend her or others like her. I've lost 70 pounds in 10 months and good heavens it was not easy. Not one bit and I wouldn't want anyone thinking that! Especially if someone is looking for an easy fix! :o)
  • NatalieWinning
    NatalieWinning Posts: 999 Member
    That's their cover-up for the fact that they don't want to put in the effort right now. They aren't ready or willing, but not ready or willing to say they don't have the dedication and persistance you do.
  • jessimacar
    jessimacar Posts: 291
    If you want to show them how much effort you put in, offer to take them on a day in your life, as you take your toddler to the gym, and take the stairs. They'll probably get through half the day when they realise it's not easy!

    congrats on becoming so active, and realising that even the little things, like parking as far away as possible, really do make a difference, as well as your trips to the gym! you're doing a great job!
  • fat_beyonce
    fat_beyonce Posts: 133 Member
    lool no you shouldn't. I have a lot of slim and skinny friends with crazy amazing metabolisms but luckily they have all been supportive with me losing weight. However, as a fellow friend losing weight we all know that it is not easy to lose weight for some of us as it involves watching and scrutinizing what we eat and drink and making sure we have enough exercise to give us that extra kick down a pound or two. It involves walking past macdonalds, chinese restaurants and Chip shops every day or going out to a pub, bar or club and making a conscious decision not to cheat. So don't be afraid to tell your friends and family what you're going through because if they really love you they will support you and literally be holding your hand all the way. When I got serious about losing weight I explained to all of my friends in a text what it involved and how they could help and I simply said either you're on board and you're not sailing with me or you get left behind at the dock because what is important to you should be to your friends and family.
  • mynameisdumbnuts
    mynameisdumbnuts Posts: 111
    Are your mother and sister overweight?

    If so, their comments aren't about insulting you but about reassuring themselves. It's easier for them to attribute your weight loss to luck, not hard work, because then they don't have to face the ugly truth that, if they put in your effort, they could also lose weight. What's the point of even trying, they think, when they weren't born with your luck that made weight loss so "easy."

    They probably do not mean to insult you by dismissing your hard work; that's a by-product of them determined to believe you lost weight because you're a member of that exclusive club The Lucky Ones.

    The next time they make those comments, remain calm, even nonchalant. In a matter-of-fact tone, reply, "Actually, it wasn't easy. I've worked very hard to lose this weight." Don't try to talk about counting calories or exercising or watching your sodium. They don't want to hear that stuff. And don't make it a mission to prove to your family that losing weight is possible, although it's hard work. They are going to do their best NOT to accept that because of their own problems.

    Of course, if your mom and sister are in bloomin' good health, all that is moot and you're dealing with a different set of problems.
  • raeadams
    raeadams Posts: 17
    I've lost 62 lbs from my highest weight (at nine months pregnant) in 16 months, and believe me, I've worked for every ounce of it. What's really discouraging and insulting to me is how people comment on how 'easy' it is for me to lose weight. My mother and my sister especially will complain that it's not fair how 'easy' the weight comes off for me. It makes me really angry because not only do I get up and take my toddler to the gym every morning, but I don't take shortcuts like my family-- I park far away from the entrance at WalMart, take the stairs, etc. I push myself to not be lazy. And, I turn down foods I really want in favor of healthy snacks. My family reiterates that it's 'not fair' that I can eat all the time and still lose weight-- while I'm munching carrots and they're having fried chicken as a between-meals snack! Should I bother trying to get them to actually recognize the effort I put into this, or just let them diminish my success by believing that it's just 'luck'?

    I don't think anyone can Diminish Your Success!!!....You've earned it!!!...paid the Price....It's yours....;-)
  • Steph_Anie
    Steph_Anie Posts: 82 Member
    the one i hate the most.... oh you are losing weight b/c you are breastfeeding..... ummm no... I'm losing weight b/c i am writing down everything i put in my mouth and exercising and working my *kitten* off!!!!
  • melanie92
    melanie92 Posts: 184 Member
    one of my favorite sayings - albeit under my breath - is "Sucks to be you"

    Please feel free to say this to them - or at least think it!! :happy:
  • guardup
    guardup Posts: 230
    I don't see any problem with letting them know what you do to earn your weight loss. As someone here suggested, print out a sample of your daily intake. Let them see that you don't cheat. And offer to take them to the gym with you to witness the workout and feel how hard it is.

    They may not be willing to accept it... but at least they will stop proclaiming that its easy for you... because then they would have to take you up on your invite.

    I'm not a big fan of letting erroneous proclamations pass unchallenged. But that's me. The key is to do it in a tactful manner that is firm, but not offensive. Focus on what YOU do... and not on what they don't do.
  • binary_jester
    binary_jester Posts: 3,311 Member
    LMAO.gif No one has said that to me. They must think holy $%##@%@! that must be hard for you in my case.

    Just remember nothing can discount what you have accomplished.
  • dancer77
    dancer77 Posts: 249 Member
    I don't get the easy thing...but I have gotten ppl thinking I have a freakishly high level of self control and I'm sitting here going NO I DON'T I JUST ACTUALLY USE IT. Ahhhhh. but consider it a compliment! In dance the goal is to do hard work and make it look effortless and you are making healthy look fab and....even if its from a distance...effortless.

    P.S.. I also agree that most ppl just say that to give themselves an excuse to not be as awesome as you. Like you are this mutant freak who has never craved a piece of chocolate or pondered skipping the gym :P lol
  • taletreader
    taletreader Posts: 377 Member
    go to the tools thing and print out the graphs on how many days you stayed within the alotted calories and exercise and show them hey its not easy haha

    This is a great idea.

    What I would do, or hope I'd have the fortitude to do, is to say, very very calmly and with affection, in a quiet moment (not immediately after the remark, when your relatives will be more emotionally invested in it): "You know, there's something I wanted to bring up. Your remarks about how easy it is for me to lose weight were quite a bit hurtful to me. I don't find the changes I had to make to my eating and exercising easy. They take up a lot of time and effort, and even if it doesn't look like it, I still have to remind myself why snacking on fried chicken is just not going to help me along my way. Don't think I don't want it! But I've made a choice, and it's working for me. And just because it's working doesn't mean it's easy -- I'm actually quite proud of doing something that is *hard*, and succeeding at it."
  • edorice
    edorice Posts: 4,519 Member
    I've been very blessed to have coworkers, family, friends, and hubby supportive of my journey. Your mom and sister must be clueless and jealous of your results.
  • smoothsue
    smoothsue Posts: 12
    I,too, know what you mean. For me it was a push button situation. Thank God for my therapist who showed me that I was eating bitter water and in the long run it was going to sabortage my courage, determination, my goals and the success I have had. I don't know how many diets I have lost over 60 to 100 pounds but finally I would gained it all back because I focus on what they were eating. This is the hardest thing for me to stop doing. So my therapist told me to turn it around. What is acutally easy for me and not for them? Boy that took some thought process. I finally came for something to respond to them and motivate me as well as strenghten my resolute. " I know it is easy for me to want to put my health first instead of satisfying my tastebuds which is momentatily and yet very damaging." Notice I did not used the "you" word. I also learned that folks and friends don't always think before they speak and I have to allow some breaks for them in hope that they will reciprocate when I say something without thinking.

    Here is wishing you the best on this journey to improve your health as well as losing weight. I also wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.
  • lotusfromthemud
    lotusfromthemud Posts: 5,335 Member
    That's their cover-up for the fact that they don't want to put in the effort right now. They aren't ready or willing, but not ready or willing to say they don't have the dedication and persistance you do.

    This!
    It's just another way of saying "waaah! I can't do it because it's hard...so I'm going to accuse you of it being easy for you." (even though they secretly are thinking "man, I wish I had her dedication!")
  • edorice
    edorice Posts: 4,519 Member
    That's their cover-up for the fact that they don't want to put in the effort right now. They aren't ready or willing, but not ready or willing to say they don't have the dedication and persistance you do.

    This!
    It's just another way of saying "waaah! I can't do it because it's hard...so I'm going to accuse you of it being easy for you." (even though they secretly are thinking "man, I wish I had her dedication!")

    LOL
  • heathersmilez
    heathersmilez Posts: 2,579 Member
    Not to side with the negative family members b/c obviously the answer to your question is to surround yourself with positive people and ignore the negative comments but why would you post your highest weight as your 9-month pregnant weight? I mean you are at least 10lbs lighter once baby, placenta and other gook come out. That seems like a very insecure thing to write, it makes you look more successful than you are which may annoy your family. Not that you haven’t been successful but still, never seen anyone do that so I thought I’d point it out, be a little devil’s advocate I suppose.

    Keep up the good work!
  • NikaBeth03
    NikaBeth03 Posts: 7
    I had a friend that use to pull that kind of attitude with me. She would even go so far as to make snarly comments when I would choose healthier options at restaurants. It was just so frustrating! At my breaking point I snapped back with "you are what you eat", as she was biting into a chicken wing. We are no longer friends.

    People that love you and want the best for you, will be proud of your effort and accomplishment. Loosing weight is NOT easy, and keeping it off is even harder. Let your family know that you would love to share and support them in the same easy weigh loss plan.
  • karenfelloutofbedagain
    karenfelloutofbedagain Posts: 23
    I don't do that to try to make myself seem more successful than I actually am. It's just my literally highest weight. Idk what my highest weight would be post-baby because I didn't have a chance to sleep, let alone take the time to actually weigh myself, until about 8 weeks after my daughter was born. Like I said, that is my highest weight, and I had to lose all of it one way or another. And believe me, pushing out a baby is not an easy way to lose 10 or however many pounds!
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