Any body-positive, HAES people?

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circemuse
circemuse Posts: 7 Member
in Introduce Yourself
Hi all...

I've been using MFP for a six months now. I may not be a typical user. I'm fat, and pretty much okay with that. I don't hate myself, I don't think I am disgusting, or unattractive. I'm in a happy relationship. I love to shop for clothes. I'm basically just trying to reach a stable set point weight, which I doubt will be below 200 lbs (or even close to it). And I'm fine with that. I wonder if there are any other users out there with similar mindset?

I started using MFP after a series of (non-weight related) health problems caused a roller coaster of weight loss and regain. I had multiple surgeries and hospitalizations from 2008-2010. One of my issues was thyroid cancer which caused major metabolic swings. Thankfully, I recovered with no lasting issues. However, after I regained the 60lbs I lost during my illness, my weight has continued to steadily climb. By December 2012 I reached my highest weight ever of 315lbs.

My goal is just to get back to a more stable set point. But I'm not interested in starting any sort of regimented eating plan or a low-calorie diet. I basically just set my intake to lose 1 lb a week, which is 2000 calories at my current weight. I don't have a specific exercise plan, but when I do exercise, I usually don't log it, or "eat back my calories". I don't count carbs or proteins or fat. I do try to keep my sodium in check. I tend to eat out a lot (but not fast food). I also eat prepackaged food occasionally (mainly Trader Joes). I simply am not willing to make a drastic lifestyle change, and I don't think that would be sustainable for me anyway.

And I don't have a specific goal in mind. At some point, I assume the weight loss will stop at 2000 calories a day. And when that happens, I think I will probably just strive to maintain.

I think it would be nice to finally have some MFP friends who might be of a similar mindset. I don't want to be part of talk about how much people hate their fat bodies, or how disgusting being fat is. I'm not particularly interested in heavy-duty diet talk. I don't really believe in "good food" or "bad food". I've lost 25 lbs eating pretty much any kind of food I like, and I don't feel guilty about it. I love to talk about fashion, travel, music. I am also pretty interested in issues about fat discrimination and fat in pop culture.

So if my experience resonates with you, please feel free to friend me!

Cheers!

Replies

  • Goth_Bunnyy
    Goth_Bunnyy Posts: 1
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    Hello HAES Sister!

    I too am here just to track my diet and exercise and not for weight loss. When knew a site called Fitness Pal was SO weight loss heavy, right? ;>
    I'm tracking my food intake so my doctor can keep my medications right.
    I know I need more fitness i my life, and I thought this place might be a good motivation - and it is - so long as I stay out of the forums where it is all weight-loss all the time.

    Anyway, good luck on getting and staying healthy!
    ~GB
  • Cindyinpg
    Cindyinpg Posts: 3,902 Member
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    I think you have a very healthy outlook. And I also think you might get farther with your sustainable plan than you are envisioning now. While I AM on here for weight loss, I wholeheartedly agree with many aspects of your approach. I do not believe in depriving myself, or in good vs bad food. I believe in enjoying life today, not just when I'm finally 'at goal'.
  • Fullsterkur_woman
    Fullsterkur_woman Posts: 2,712 Member
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    I have lots of friends that are Highland Games athletes. Lots of them are big, big dudes. I'm in *way* better health than I was 15 years and 35 lbs. ago. I most definitely believe in HAES!
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,742 Member
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    I like this.

    I wouldn't say I'm super-similar to you, but in mindset somewhat I suppose I am!

    I've always been fat and probably always will be fat in someone's eyes (or most peoples' eyes). Right now at 220, my adult lowest weight, I feel very normal and average. I know I'm fat, but for me that is normal and not a scary/bad thing. Only at my all-time high (just over 300) did I begin to have any negative feelings or health concerns. I'm honestly pretty comfortable with myself anywhere from 270 on down, and I think that is different for each individual. I always feel that I am beautiful even at 307.

    I'm looking at 200, 180...but not so sure if I am even really interested in going down further in weight. I am really into walking, swimming, hiking, and like bicycling on occasion...but I'm never planning to Zumba, Jazzercise, work out in a gym, or run any kind of organized race.

    Sometimes I think people on here are more interested in meeting others' goals than their own, honestly. I find it sad that more people can't focus on feeling good, liking their own bodies, etc...than trying for some arbitrary number or wanting to look perfect in a bikini. I do think some people get an idea of what "success" looks like and it often involves those ideals, and/or running a marathon...and I don't begrudge them those ideals AT ALL but I don't share that vision.
  • PandorasTreasure
    PandorasTreasure Posts: 1 Member
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    Hello fellow HAES practitioners. Nice to have a shame-free, fitness-oriented group on one of these communities. Most are so focused on weight loss that I don't last more than a few weeks.
  • KateV888
    KateV888 Posts: 20 Member
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    I am trying to lose weight for a lot of reasons, but not because I hate my body. I basically believe in having a positive body image regardless of what size you are, and the goal is being healthy. I'm actually very comfortable in my body at 268 lbs., but I know that I'm there partly because my habits haven't been healthy and I want to change them. That's my main concern - not so much the number in the scale. But the number on the scale to me is just an objective measure of how much I'm changing my habits.

    Anyway I don't know if I'm the type of friend you're looking for, but feel free to add me.
  • newmanel
    newmanel Posts: 61 Member
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    I realize this is an old thread, but body-positive people can be hard to come by on MFP so I'll identify myself. I've never been "overweight" per se but I've been struggling with negative feelings toward my body since I was a child. Body positivity is the only salve to that deeply ingrained nonsense. I'm still working on my own self-talk but I reject fat-shaming and body-shaming as a matter of course.

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