I'm losing all my motivation and don't know what to do...

I've posted here many times, but I'm at the point now where I really don't know if I can do it anymore.

All I've done for the past 4 days is gone to class and binged. Even last night I ate 2 mchickens, 2 pints of ice cream, a burrito, tons of cereal, 1 cup of choc almonds, all on top of the 3,000 calories I shoved into my mouth that morning.

I've just gained so much weight, and eat more thinking about how long it'll take to look like I was before. I even have to go to a party tommorow where I'll be seeing all my relatives again and I know they'll comment on my weight gain.

I start the day healthy but then even if I eat something extra, Ill binge and the whole day becomes a binge fest and I don't go to the gym the next day. Even now I don't want to workout but I'm going to anyway.

The only reason I might be depressed or "low" is because I feel like I've let myself go despite trying so hard. I try really REALLY hard but don't see any progress because of these binges.

Please help

Also, I was buying some junk food yesterday and the cashier ended up asking me out (told me to write my number) and I was praying the whole time he wouldn't call me over to his checkout lane (I was avoiding his lane) but I was a little shocked. I looked so bloated from 3 days of constant bingeing and soda chugging etc, smudged makeup, granny clothes to coverup. I don't know what he was thinking, but it kind of made me feel better.

I think that might be the main reason, I haven't binged yet today. I'm doing good so far, the previous three days, I had already binged by now. But basically, he made me realize that I'm really missing out on life. I'm substituting food (temporary satisfaction) for actual relationships and fun.

Replies

  • azyzzam
    azyzzam Posts: 36
    Hmm...maybe I can do this
  • dmacca666
    dmacca666 Posts: 20 Member
    Just don't beat yourself up. That's the worst think you can do. Write off what's been done. It's in the past and can't be changed.

    Go out this weekend, eat, drink socialize and be merry and say to yourself that you're going to enjoy this holiday weekend.

    Then on Monday tell yourself that it's a new week and you're going to get back on it. One step at a time, one day at a time.

    Rome wasn't built in a day.

    *Supportive hug*

    :smile:
  • rsclause
    rsclause Posts: 3,103 Member
    Eat a handful of tree nuts like almonds or walnuts and go for a walk or run. It works!

    Read the label on junk food before buying and you will probably put it back. Good luck and stay on track.
  • Cliffslosinit
    Cliffslosinit Posts: 5,044 Member
    Yesterday is yesterday!!
    Don't let a bad day dictate your future.

    Stay in this for the long haul....
    Keep in mind we all have scrapes on our knees from falling.
    Yet we get up and keep on going.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,993 Member
    Well unless you're like 5'0" 110lbs probably is too low a weight for you. Sounds more like you eat out of emotional issues, so maybe talking to a counselor to hash out what may be stressing or impeding your progress might help.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • deksgrl
    deksgrl Posts: 7,237 Member
    According to your ticker, you look like you are at a healthy weight. I'm going to suggest that perhaps you are your own worst critic.

    Pick yourself up and decide what you will eat today. Log it. Eat that. Tomorrow, do it again.
  • You can do it and I think we have all been to the point you are at right now...I am as well however I just take a look back and think WHY I want to do this and why I NEED TO.

    I agree though the hardest part is not surrounding yourself with junk food, like mentioned try a handful of nuts or something. Even if its not super healthy just eat a ton of natural foods rather than processed.

    And also like already mention before my post go for a walk. If I am stressed out at work I try to escape for a walk around the building rather than my old habit of hitting up ye olde vending machine. It seems to help.

    YOU CAN DO IT! AND YOU HAVE ALREADY ACCOMPLISHED SO MUCH!
  • Fullsterkur_woman
    Fullsterkur_woman Posts: 2,712 Member
    I totally agree that this sounds like professional help is in order. You mentioned going to classes, so I'm gonna go ahead and suggest looking into your campus's mental health resources.
  • andielyn
    andielyn Posts: 233 Member
    You are doing great! Look at what you've already lost. Maybe you have your weight loss goal set too high and aren't eating enough and are too hungry? Today is another day...put yesterday in its place, and just don't stop. I had a binge night last night too...maybe it was the moon? ;)
  • jenberg777
    jenberg777 Posts: 8 Member
    OH friend. I feel you. I used to buy a box of donuts and hide in my room and eat the whole thing........I'd actually eat it super fast because I didn't want to leave any room for changing my mind. Agh. That was when I was 13. I can tell you that going from being 15 and around 200lbs and teased in 10th grade.......to now weighing 147 (and still not done with my loss journey) I STILL and ALWAYS will have the temptation to binge. I actually did binge just last week. I have kids so I can kind of trick myself into thinking "I'm making cookies for my kids" but really, I'm making them to eat some dough now and 6-10 cookies also to soothe my emotional stress. My advice.....the thing that has been most helpful for me......is to get to the heart of it. After a binge......don't just go on numb like nothing happened or psych yourself up to 'do better tomorrow' - that doesn't deal with the heart issue. There is something deeper going on that needs to be addressed...you have to change the way you view food....I used to eat when I'm bored....that is (thankfully) no longer a vice for me......I got into reading and I love being outdoors now. My next vice is more about when I feel sort of stressed out or sad (PMS hits me hard) I tend to turn to food for the 'high' that I get from the mindset of "well, at least I have THIS" oiy vey. I'm convinced that food is more addicting than crack. Sugar/carbs are the main drug. All that said, my advice is what has worked for me........1) start a journal. look at your failures as an opportunity to know yourself better - be honest......ask yourself why you self sabotage...what drew you to the food......were you avoiding something....were you bored? were you craving something? 2) to help with cravings (if you are addicted as I was) I would get the south beach diet book........it helps change how you view food......it's not so much a diet, but a philosophy and a WAY of eating what you love without guilt.........after the first 3 days of no sugar (which you do for only 2 weeks) your cravings are KILLED and you can think more clearly......which is priceless in this war. 3) PLAN cheat meals. I have one cheat meal every single week, where I give myself freedom to eat whatever I want in whatever quantity. As time has gone by I have just grown to have a displeasure in overeating....I don't like how I feel afterward, it's just become 'not worth it' if that makes sense. My mentality used to be 'oh, I'll just workout and burn if off' - but that mentality never works, because I felt depressed after binging and tired from the insulin spike that all the carbs caused......a vicious cycle. 4) If you're not on Pinterest......that has helped me leaps and bounds as well. I am able to save Motivational quotes like "sweat is merely your fat crying" and "the only workout you'll ever regret is the one you skip." etc etc.......I go to those when I'm having hard days of motivation........also, helpful tips can be found on oxygen magazines website.....like "if you want a donut crazy like- fine...plan to eat it.....BUT let the rule be that you will eat it AFTER you workout.....many times you won't even want it that bad since you won't want to undo the good you've done." Pinterest also has a ton of super tasty south beach recipes and paleo recipes that are outstanding......if I feel bored, I get on there and start looking up my next meal adventure. :P I sure hope this helps........just know, you are not alone, the battle is every day forever......and remember "If you LEARN from defeat, you haven't really lost"
  • azyzzam
    azyzzam Posts: 36
    Thanks guys! Is it okay if I add you? :)

    I already go to counseling though, its been about 2 months but not really helping. She's treating me as if I am scared of food, and still wants me to make a mealplan to follow, but I don't think she's addressing the problem correctly.

    I'm going to make another appointment with a different counselor maybe and see if it helps, but I think more than anything its up to me to motivate myself.
  • Fullsterkur_woman
    Fullsterkur_woman Posts: 2,712 Member
    Thanks guys! Is it okay if I add you? :)

    I already go to counseling though, its been about 2 months but not really helping. She's treating me as if I am scared of food, and still wants me to make a mealplan to follow, but I don't think she's addressing the problem correctly.

    I'm going to make another appointment with a different counselor maybe and see if it helps, but I think more than anything its up to me to motivate myself.
    Yep, but you need the tools to do it. You're showing that you've got what it takes to learn them by taking the initiative to look for a different counselor. You got this!
  • adelareto
    adelareto Posts: 20
    Don't give up! You have already made the biggest step by recognizing it and trying to get help! And yes try to find another therapist to see! Hang in there!!