Losing Weight after Anorexia

Josieing11209
Josieing11209 Posts: 3
in Getting Started
Hello all. I am here because I would like to lose some weight. I have been in recovery for Anorexia and have gained about 30 pounds in order for my health and wellness to return. My doctor has given me the clear to now start in a healthy fashion to lose weight and told me my goal should be 1-1.5 pounds per week MAXIMUM and that I shall not go under 1,400 calories a day.

She assigned me to eat 1,600 calories at a light activity level and 1,800 calories at a moderate activity level. I am finding this very hard because I am a wreck with my body, I am unhappy with how I look and how my body looks post-recovery. My clothes, my body, everything is hurting me emotionally.

I talk to a therapist as well btw so please do not think I am irrational and crazy.

I have tried so many times post-recovery to diet but all end in HUGE 4,000 or more calorie binges. It is like I cannot control myself. I have tried 1,200 calories and that caused me to binge for two days in a freaking row!

For activity I ride my stationary bike for 30-60 minutes 3x's a week, lift weights 3x's a week and take my dog for a 4km walk 2-3x's a week.. I groom horses for an hour 1-2x's a week and also hula hoop for 15-20 minutes a few times a week.

But I have this terrible self-doubt and feel the only way I know how to lose weight is through depriving myself and seriously limiting my calorie intake or not eating at all.

I have bought meal replacement powder for me to have a smoothie for breakfast and maybe some oatmeal or toast, for lunch I have a vegan chicken burger, big salad, steamed vegetables and dinner I have a cut of meal like chicken or a small pork steak (!30 calories), another big salad and steamed vegetables. I do not know what to do for snacks I have weight watcher bagels, bread, wraps, flat rolls and 35 calorie per cup yogurt, 40 calorie popsicles, an air pop- popcorn machine, rice cakes and lots of healthy options.

My goal is to lose 10 to 15 pounds by June. But I feel like with me constantly binging, than feeling bad and completely restricting and than repeating this vicious cycle like I will never achieve it :(

Replies

  • Josieing11209
    Josieing11209 Posts: 3
    By the way I am 5'9.5 and my weight bounces between 155-161 right now from all the binging, fasting, and so forth.
  • Meushichan
    Meushichan Posts: 82 Member
    Just based on BMI, your weight is in the normal range. Not sure why you feel like you need to lose weight? If you are having body image issues, I would continue to work with a therapist, and maybe do some weight training to tone up instead? Also, based on your exercise, I would put that moderate or even high, and increasing your calorie intake may actually help. Your binges may be your body telling you that you are in starvation mode, so when you finally give in, you over-do it. Maybe try eating more by adding in protein and complex carbs?
  • Dewymorning
    Dewymorning Posts: 762 Member
    My advice would be to concentrate on eating at least 1,800 calories a day to help break the fasting/binging cycle.

    You don't need to lose that much weight (you are at a healthy weight) so sloooooow and steady is best. It might even be best to just try to maintain your weight for a while.

    Keep working with your therapist and doctor,
  • InFitRealm
    InFitRealm Posts: 36 Member
    First of all you should listen to your professional advisers. They've got the best directions for you.
    You need an expert to look after you. Because you are anorexic then the trouble lies deeper than just your weight. It's also your mind. You would not be satisfied from how you look even if you weighed too little.

    Even if gradually I'm successful in my journey, then it happens because I know myself, my habits, my problems and so on. Here you will find a lot of tips and support but it might not be enough. I have friend with eating disorders. Now she recovered. However I've learned that a nice friends support is only one thing. No matter how good someone wishes you then if he/she is not an expert, they don't know how to lead you exactly. Even if they meant the best for you.

    Probably in real life you get a lot of comments from the closest friends/family that you look good, you are beautiful and you don't have to force yourself to starve. And they embrace you with care and protection.
    From what I experienced, it is still not enough. It's in the anorexic/bulimia mind. How such people see themselves. Sometimes their own perception might be so different that those supporting compliments don't boost the self-esteam.
    On the contrary, sometimes they just make you mad.
    You don't believe it and internally you still think that your body needs some "improvement".

    I would say not to focus on BMI. It's very general measure that doesn't take a lot of conditions into consideration. For many years when I was younger my BMI would show that I'm underweight. However even though I weight little I never needed a special treatment. I ate a lot and moved a lot. My family doctor knew me therefore he was able to figure out on what he should pay attention to and what was not a problem in my case.
    Now on the other hand I've gained on weight when my lifestyle has changed and my metabolism slowed down a little when the time went by. According to my BMI I'm okey, however when I see my figure I know it could get some fine tuning. Not drastic weight loss, however a belly fat should go etc.

    Congratulate on your determination and the courage to ask for help. You're on a good way. Probably a little bumpy one, but still good. Don't only concentrate on numbers (how many I ate, how many pounds I lost) but also on stuff that makes you feel better about yourself.
    Keep my fingers crossed.
  • tiptoethruthetulips
    tiptoethruthetulips Posts: 3,371 Member
    By the way I am 5'9.5 and my weight bounces between 155-161 right now from all the binging, fasting, and so forth.

    Just to be clear are you binging and fasting still?
  • Unknown
    Unknown
    This content has been removed.
  • tiptoethruthetulips
    tiptoethruthetulips Posts: 3,371 Member
    OP you've posted about this very recently, did you go back and read the comments there?

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1226860-losing-weight-after-anorexia
  • missmo12
    missmo12 Posts: 2
    I've gone through the same things you're going through right now and honestly, it was best for me to leave this website and stop using this app. The calorie counting aspect (and especially the bit at the end of the day telling you how much you'd weigh if every day was like today) were exceptionally triggering. I'm a couple years into recovery now and still have to take a few days off every now and then just to remind myself that it isn't important to track calories all the time.

    Moral of the story: I think it would be best if you tried to just do your best to exercise and eat healthily (because it sounds like you're already doing plenty of that!) without using this app. However, if you think you have to use a fitness tracker, I've found Noom to be a little more...friendly? For some reason the format is much less triggering for me.

    Anyways, good luck to you dear! Keep up the good work. <3
  • kittybones
    kittybones Posts: 7 Member
    Here is my advice, which you may not want to hear:

    1.) Anyone in recovery from a restrictive eating disorder loses to privilege to diet.
    2.) Anyone in recovery from a restricting eating disorder needs to accept the fact that their body needs to decide what weight they need to be at, not themselves. Your set point is your set point; trying to maintain a weight YOU are comfortable with is disordered.

    3.) If you eat healthy (and no, I don’t mean “clean eating”), balanced meals, your body will be at the weight it’s meant to be at (assuming you are already weight restored and relatively healthy). That means, even in cases where you feel like you’ve earned the right to go on a diet (for example, after pregnancy, after unexpected weight gain, etc.), once you return to your normal diet, your body will lose the weight it’s supposed to, if it needs to.

    In a nutshell, don’t diet.

    (quote from edcynic@tumblr)
    your doctor is in the wrong esp. because you are at a healthy weight. Consult your therapist about your eating habits & feelings with body image.
  • iliacrest
    iliacrest Posts: 1 Member
    ^ Great advice!
    Gradually work toward accepting your body's set point as it is - and not as how you think it should be. It will be difficult, but it is absolutely necessary to break the binge-restrict cycle and allow your body to stabilize. Good luck :heart:
  • ValGogo
    ValGogo Posts: 2,168 Member
    By the way I am 5'9.5 and my weight bounces between 155-161 right now from all the binging, fasting, and so forth.

    I know it doesn't matter to you but from an outsiders perspective, 155 is a PERFECT weight for someone who is 5'9" and a half.

    I am 5'9" and when I was 161 I thought I looked thin and a little gaunt. But my *kitten* looked great and my stomach was flat. I've alway kept a tight midsection, though.

    But, like I said, it's your anorexia and no one can tell you how you look, but like I said, when it's someone looking at you from the outside who is not suffereing from body dysmorphia, I can imagine you look amazing RIGHT NOW.

    Think about that before lose any more weight. I know you won't but there's always hope. Be careful.
  • A_shlynn
    A_shlynn Posts: 7 Member
    If you're concerned with losing weight you're obviously not recovering. Your health comes before your weight
  • susannamarie
    susannamarie Posts: 2,148 Member
    This thread is a month old and OP doesn't appear to be using the site at the moment.
  • SBakerGrey
    SBakerGrey Posts: 8
    Hey.
    I wouldn't say I'm an anorexic, but my weight dropped pretty low.
    I'm 5'6 and got down to 53kg.
    But after trying to gain some weight back at the request of my parents I've found myself in an endless binge/restrict cycle.
    I've gained 11 kilos and Now I weigh 140 lbs.
    I want to lose at least 9 kilos. But I can't stick to anything anymore.

Categories