TDEE calculators- PLEASE help I'm so desperate!

Hello y'all,

I'm female, 20 yrs old, 162cm and 53kgs, bodyfat around 25% maybe slightly higher. I want it to be down to about 18%.
I was anorexic when I was young, hence my metabolism is not the fastest and my muscle mass has decreased a lot.

For two months, I have been lifting weights, 4 days a week, 30 minutes each. So the exercise I do is rather light. I am a student, so I do walk sometimes, go shopping or take a walk outside et cetera.

I really want to lose some of my bodyfat, but that is not my main goal. My main goal is to increase muscle mass. Tbh, I'd really like to lose the excess fat but it's hard for me to eat very little. I even struggle with 1450cals daily (which was my goal for the last days). I get binges when I eat 1450 and I don't know why, because during the last years, I never ate more than 1300 cals (and did not lose weight!!).
My explanation is that maybe my body just needs more because I finally started exercising? I have been a REAL couch potato during my anorexia and all the years after. I NEVER exercised, NEVER took a long walk. Now I am trying to be more active and I do exercise 4 times a week.
It would be okay if I did not lose weight at all or not very fast, I just don't really want to gain fat.

I first thought about reverse dieting, because I am in a lifting forum where all the guys told me that I should be able to eat 2000cals a day if I lift that often and because I am so young.
But all the calculators give me different numbers. According to MFP, I should only be able to eat 1500 cals. IIFYM tells me I should be able to eat 1680 cals (but I think they mean serious workouts in their calculation, and my workouts are short, so that number might be too high? i don't know?) German calculators tell me I should be able to eat around 1800 (!)
I just don't know what do to, I wanted to set my goals to 1600 for a start and look what happens but MFP says that's too much. I don't want to be on diet forever, this is why I started lifting and go to therapy! and now they're telling me 1600 is over my TDEE…

There are so many women that lift here, and I think there are even some which struggled with eating disorders before - do you, or any other one, have a suggestion for me as to how much calories to consume?
Do you think the calculators are close to reality, or have you experienced that you are able to eat more calories than the calculators suggest? Can anyone help me please?

Thank you very very much!