Heartbreak and food Help!
singmyheartout4you
Posts: 245
Hey everyone,
So I have had two really awful weeks. I won't go into the details, but here is my main problem.
my boyfriend and I were on the rocks, on again off again for about three weeks now. Last Thursday, we split up for good and 4 days ago we had a really really awful fight. my issue is, I've lost ten lbs in a week and 2 days. I've heard that losing this much weight this quickly isn't good and can have a lot of bad repercussions. The problem is, I am still eating, just very lights amounts, I've almost completely lost my appetite so when I do eat, its something I am forcing myself to do because I know I should but I feel so sick afterwords and I've been hitting the gym like crazy (I burned more calories than I ate the entire day the other day in just three hours).
I've been trying to hang out with my friends, but ironically, they are all busy in their relationship and to try and get my mind off everything, I've been going to the gym over and over.
I know it may seem silly to be so upset over a relationship ending but it was so much more the way it ended and the friendship lost there. It really doesn't help he was my best friend too so I have no one to go to about it.
But I can't seem to get any appetite back. I keep trying to prepare food and not being able to eat it. I know this seems silly and everyone will just tell me to move on and get over it (I keep saying that to myself too) but we had five years of friendship all over now. If anyone has dealt with this before or has any advice, please let me know.
Thanks!
So I have had two really awful weeks. I won't go into the details, but here is my main problem.
my boyfriend and I were on the rocks, on again off again for about three weeks now. Last Thursday, we split up for good and 4 days ago we had a really really awful fight. my issue is, I've lost ten lbs in a week and 2 days. I've heard that losing this much weight this quickly isn't good and can have a lot of bad repercussions. The problem is, I am still eating, just very lights amounts, I've almost completely lost my appetite so when I do eat, its something I am forcing myself to do because I know I should but I feel so sick afterwords and I've been hitting the gym like crazy (I burned more calories than I ate the entire day the other day in just three hours).
I've been trying to hang out with my friends, but ironically, they are all busy in their relationship and to try and get my mind off everything, I've been going to the gym over and over.
I know it may seem silly to be so upset over a relationship ending but it was so much more the way it ended and the friendship lost there. It really doesn't help he was my best friend too so I have no one to go to about it.
But I can't seem to get any appetite back. I keep trying to prepare food and not being able to eat it. I know this seems silly and everyone will just tell me to move on and get over it (I keep saying that to myself too) but we had five years of friendship all over now. If anyone has dealt with this before or has any advice, please let me know.
Thanks!
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Replies
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I understand what you mean by it being hard to eat.
I'm someone who normally loves eating (doh, overweight) and I am also currently struggling with relationship issues. I haven't eaten in pretty much two days, and have been consciously relying on beverages that I know contain some protein and calories.
I would suggest....
- Eating a tablespoon of peanut butter every few hours
- Drinking something with protein/nutrition in it (a protein shake, or even a latte just for the protein, or a smoothie)0 -
Also, mochas and or cookies.0
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I don't know the situation of the breakup, but is there a way to talk it over with him and sort things out.0
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I tried giving him some space for three days (I messaged him yesterday). The ending fight was over him being able to come over for the day or not. Nothing serious, but he freaked out and started yelling which caused me too as well. (I know, not a great reaction). We were both upset and stressed. So I waited a few days and texted him yesterday and said (to sum it up) we have five years of friendship and even if our relationship ends, which I am okay with, I don't want to lose my best friend. But if you don't feel the same, Ive packed up your stuff and just need to know if you want it back. To which he replied "Just leave it in my moms mailbox at your earliest convenience." So I am assuming he doesn't want to work it out.
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And thank you guys for your suggestions! Ill try them out!0
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Maybe try drinking some high calorie stuff until your appetite comes back.0
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I would suggest....
- Eating a tablespoon of peanut butter every few hours
- Drinking something with protein/nutrition in it (a protein shake, or even a latte just for the protein, or a smoothie)
^^^ Good advice. Also, try yogurt and fruit, or cereal.0 -
Chocolate cake, or ice cream... or both!0
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Oh Sweetheart, I am so sorry you are going thru this.....
I know I am old enough to be your Mum but we can all struggle with heartache at any age. Some of us turn to food to help them soothe their emotions others (me included) struggle to even stomach the thought of eating.
Time will help in the long run but perhaps right now you could use the other suggestions as well as trying to introduce something into your diet that is soothing and reassuring for you. Maybe look upon this as a time when "you are sick of heart"......have warm honey and milk, or have a special chocolate bar, think back to childhood favs if that helps and go to town.
Don't know if you can see where I am going with this, or if I'm just confusing you....
Be kind and patient with yourself above all....if you force yourself to eat when your tummy is SO tied up in nervous knots it will most likely rebel (at one end or the other) focus on quality nutrition with a sweet dose of comfort on the side.
All the best honey
Hugs (from a Mum)0 -
Oh Sweetheart, I am so sorry you are going thru this.....
I know I am old enough to be your Mum but we can all struggle with heartache at any age. Some of us turn to food to help them soothe their emotions others (me included) struggle to even stomach the thought of eating.
Time will help in the long run but perhaps right now you could use the other suggestions as well as trying to introduce something into your diet that is soothing and reassuring for you. Maybe look upon this as a time when "you are sick of heart"......have warm honey and milk, or have a special chocolate bar, think back to childhood favs if that helps and go to town.
Don't know if you can see where I am going with this, or if I'm just confusing you....
Be kind and patient with yourself above all....if you force yourself to eat when your tummy is SO tied up in nervous knots it will most likely rebel (at one end or the other) focus on quality nutrition with a sweet dose of comfort on the side.
All the best honey
Hugs (from a Mum)
Thank you so much! I see where you are coming from and your post helps a ton!
Thanks! *Hugs*0 -
Oh Sweetheart, I am so sorry you are going thru this.....
I know I am old enough to be your Mum but we can all struggle with heartache at any age. Some of us turn to food to help them soothe their emotions others (me included) struggle to even stomach the thought of eating.
Time will help in the long run but perhaps right now you could use the other suggestions as well as trying to introduce something into your diet that is soothing and reassuring for you. Maybe look upon this as a time when "you are sick of heart"......have warm honey and milk, or have a special chocolate bar, think back to childhood favs if that helps and go to town.
Don't know if you can see where I am going with this, or if I'm just confusing you....
Be kind and patient with yourself above all....if you force yourself to eat when your tummy is SO tied up in nervous knots it will most likely rebel (at one end or the other) focus on quality nutrition with a sweet dose of comfort on the side.
All the best honey
Hugs (from a Mum)
Everything this sweet lady said.
Plus... find a lighter way, maybe, of working out your tension...overdoing things at the gym at a time you are struggling to fuel yourself, will actually cause extra stress in the form of elevated cortisol. Try taking some long walks instead, if you can, or take up a new hobby for yourself, like cross stitch...get into a good book, a good film, take yourself out to a cafe and treat yourself...find a group to join even. Focus on you now, and on doing the things you want to do. You cannot change the choice he has made, time will heal eventually. And get into some comfort foods if necessary, to get some calories in... I am sure you can manage some chocolate (especially at Easter) or ice cream, or somesuch. Hope you feel better soon.0 -
I went through something really similar a few years ago, right when I started here.
Drink some calories, eat some comfort food, cookies and milk or something like that.0 -
Hi you do have to try and eat. You will gain back all that weight quick and maybe even more once you start eating normal again. Try whatever gives you comfort. Keep up with your fluids and be careful you don't get low blood sugar. You need to keep your electrolytes with in normal limits. You are losing too much thru stress and all your exercise. You are grieving what could have been. You had set goals and dreams based on this relationship. It is normal to go thru different stages and moods. Denial thinking oh what if I had done this or said this? Self blame? Let the natural healing process take it's course. Love shouldn't have to hurt or cause you so much stress that it affects your mental and physical health. You opened the door and texted him. If he answered you the way he did then do as he said. Drop off all his stuff. Give yourself time and be strong. Let it be come what may! Good luck! I hope everything works out for you. If you get back together great! If not, time will heal all wounds it is true. You will love again and maybe for good next time. God bless0
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Hey everyone,
So I have had two really awful weeks. I won't go into the details, but here is my main problem.
my boyfriend and I were on the rocks, on again off again for about three weeks now. Last Thursday, we split up for good and 4 days ago we had a really really awful fight. my issue is, I've lost ten lbs in a week and 2 days. I've heard that losing this much weight this quickly isn't good and can have a lot of bad repercussions. The problem is, I am still eating, just very lights amounts, I've almost completely lost my appetite so when I do eat, its something I am forcing myself to do because I know I should but I feel so sick afterwords and I've been hitting the gym like crazy (I burned more calories than I ate the entire day the other day in just three hours).
I've been trying to hang out with my friends, but ironically, they are all busy in their relationship and to try and get my mind off everything, I've been going to the gym over and over.
I know it may seem silly to be so upset over a relationship ending but it was so much more the way it ended and the friendship lost there. It really doesn't help he was my best friend too so I have no one to go to about it.
But I can't seem to get any appetite back. I keep trying to prepare food and not being able to eat it. I know this seems silly and everyone will just tell me to move on and get over it (I keep saying that to myself too) but we had five years of friendship all over now. If anyone has dealt with this before or has any advice, please let me know.
Thanks!
I don't really have anything to offer for help, just have understanding and empathy for you....I'm currently the male side of the same situation (see my current profile pic).
I know what you mean about all of it - the not being able to eat, the loss of the relationship, the loss of the friendship, the hurt, the sadness...just all of it. Like you, I am usually an eater, someone that really likes food, so that's how I know it's bad. Normally, I'd turn TO food, but now it just makes me feel sick. Like you, I'm hitting the gym and exercising even more to burn off the nervous energy, get away from it all, and truth be told..probably punishing myself some too. In the last 3-4 days I've lost 7 lbs., and to make it worse I'm not really sleeping well - another way I know things are bad. I usually have no problems sleeping anytime, anywhere.
I'm trying to get by on protein drinks because I can seem to get them down easier and quite frankly there's just not much to them, only 8-12 ounces. Maybe that will work for you too.
I guess silver lining and all...at least I've got some weight I still wanted to lose.
Like my profile pic says: If you love someone set them free. If they come back they're yours. If they don't, they never really were.
I hope she comes back. I miss my friend. I miss my partner in life. She's been gone too long.0 -
Hey everyone,
So I have had two really awful weeks. I won't go into the details, but here is my main problem.
my boyfriend and I were on the rocks, on again off again for about three weeks now. Last Thursday, we split up for good and 4 days ago we had a really really awful fight. my issue is, I've lost ten lbs in a week and 2 days. I've heard that losing this much weight this quickly isn't good and can have a lot of bad repercussions. The problem is, I am still eating, just very lights amounts, I've almost completely lost my appetite so when I do eat, its something I am forcing myself to do because I know I should but I feel so sick afterwords and I've been hitting the gym like crazy (I burned more calories than I ate the entire day the other day in just three hours).
I've been trying to hang out with my friends, but ironically, they are all busy in their relationship and to try and get my mind off everything, I've been going to the gym over and over.
I know it may seem silly to be so upset over a relationship ending but it was so much more the way it ended and the friendship lost there. It really doesn't help he was my best friend too so I have no one to go to about it.
But I can't seem to get any appetite back. I keep trying to prepare food and not being able to eat it. I know this seems silly and everyone will just tell me to move on and get over it (I keep saying that to myself too) but we had five years of friendship all over now. If anyone has dealt with this before or has any advice, please let me know.
Thanks!
I don't really have anything to offer for help, just have understanding and empathy for you....I'm currently the male side of the same situation (see my current profile pic).
I know what you mean about all of it - the not being able to eat, the loss of the relationship, the loss of the friendship, the hurt, the sadness...just all of it. Like you, I am usually an eater, someone that really likes food, so that's how I know it's bad. Normally, I'd turn TO food, but now it just makes me feel sick. Like you, I'm hitting the gym and exercising even more to burn off the nervous energy, get away from it all, and truth be told..probably punishing myself some too. In the last 3-4 days I've lost 7 lbs., and to make it worse I'm not really sleeping well - another way I know things are bad. I usually have no problems sleeping anytime, anywhere.
I'm trying to get by on protein drinks because I can seem to get them down easier and quite frankly there's just not much to them, only 8-12 ounces. Maybe that will work for you too.
I guess silver lining and all...at least I've got some weight I still wanted to lose.
Like my profile pic says: If you love someone set them free. If they come back they're yours. If they don't, they never really were.
I hope she comes back. I miss my friend. I miss my partner in life. She's been gone too long.
I truly hope you feel better someday soon as well.
Loss can be so incredibly painful.0 -
Yes I wish you the best too golfmanwl. The break up of a relationship is a loss. A big loss like death so you will go thru the different stages of grieving. In reality it is like death as the relationship died! I hope your love comes back. If she doesn't may you heal and find love again soon when you least expect it. What is meant for you no one can take. God bless!0
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I'm sorry about your breakup and the heartache is has caused you.
Fortunately, the weight you have lost is mostly not fat or muscle, it is water and glycogen stores. You will regain most of the weight once your eating returns to normal.
In the interim, I would suggest eating more calorie dense foods.0 -
Are you OK? Please let us know that you are safe and healing. Blessings.0
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I went through the same thing with a divorce. It was a divorce I wanted (he ran around like his pants were afire and was a jerk) but it sucked just the same. I FORCED myself to drink calorie rich drinks for breakfast and lunch. I ate my favorite solid foods at dinner. I had to gag it down but I couldn't let things slide as I had a boy in diapers at the time. Good health is just as important.
This too shall pass. I finally got some normal weight/appetite back after a few months of struggling and went on to meet a really nice guy a couple years later. I don't know what your situation is but sometimes some relationships are nothing but struggles. Once I found the right man, it wasn't all song and roses, but at least it wasn't a volatile on again, off again, and endless, and seemingly meaningless fighting and later a total lack of trust and betrayal. That gets really old after awhile. Hugs, and good luck!0
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