Love Yourself Like No One Else Will

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SugaryLynx
SugaryLynx Posts: 2,640 Member
in Motivation and Support
The title says it all. I spent years hating my body. I spent years ashamed of it. I wore stretchy pants because I was ashamed of trying to find a fitting pair, I accidentally bought underwear that was too small because I didn't know or want to admit what size I was. I lived pretty much my whole adult life like this. I spent high school thinking I was fat and then after actually getting there. I was spent emotionally. I hated myself. I was so upset. You know that romantic moment when a guy lifts a girl into his arms and holds her. My husband tried that. He succeeded for awhile but it was obvious it was a chore. I topped out 20 lbs heavier than my husband at the end of both my pregnancies and stayed around his weight after. He's a half a foot taller than me. Easter last year a little boy asked me why I was so fat and why I ate so much. I was 8 months pregnant. I know it was the innocence of a 6 year old but it struck me deep. If I didn't stop myself, who would?

This was me last year in June.

6jogva.jpg
6 week post partum. 170 lbs.

I spent a good deal of my time hating myself. Losing the weight didn't change who I was inside. It didn't make me stop pin pointing my faults. Only I could do that. I still struggle with the thoughts. Now, my ribs are too prominent, my boobs are too small. When will we be happy? When will this self hatred end? Simple. Now. Right now. The moment we decide that irregardless of what the scale, mirror, mean voices in our heads say. . We are enough. And THAT is why we do what we do. Because we love ourselves. Stop focusing on faults. Stop focusing on things that may not even be in our power to change and focus on all the good things you are. I am enough and you are too.

Love yourself like no one else will. :flowerforyou:

Replies

  • skittlesnhoney
    skittlesnhoney Posts: 651 Member
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    When will this self hatred end? Simple. Now. Right now. The moment we decide that irregardless of what the scale, mirror, mean voices in our heads say. . We are enough. And THAT is why we do what we do. Because we love ourselves.

    :drinker:
  • neandermagnon
    neandermagnon Posts: 7,436 Member
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    When will this self hatred end? Simple. Now. Right now. The moment we decide that irregardless of what the scale, mirror, mean voices in our heads say. . We are enough. And THAT is why we do what we do. Because we love ourselves.

    :drinker:

    ^^^ this

    it's much easier to reverse bad habits and build healthy ones and a healthier body when it comes from a place of "I deserve better than this" than when it comes from self-hatred, disgust, self-punishment, etc.
  • blesseddiva77
    blesseddiva77 Posts: 32 Member
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    yes i agree. I just started mfp I definately need motivation and support.
  • SugaryLynx
    SugaryLynx Posts: 2,640 Member
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    I agree neandermagnon. Once we realize we deserve this, it makes a world of a difference.
  • V0lver
    V0lver Posts: 915 Member
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    I am afraid.i am not that flexible
  • kittyhorn
    kittyhorn Posts: 112 Member
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    Very well said. Self loathing is easy, self love is a more difficult pursuit.
  • christa279
    christa279 Posts: 222 Member
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    When will this self hatred end? Simple. Now. Right now. The moment we decide that irregardless of what the scale, mirror, mean voices in our heads say. . We are enough. And THAT is why we do what we do. Because we love ourselves.

    Absolutely LOVE this!

    All my previous attempts to lose weight and get in shape failed because of self-hate. We are our own worst enemies!!

    One day I decided that I did not want my kids to feel about their bodies the way I have felt about mine. It dawned on me that I needed to lead by example. I stopped striving to be perfect and started working on being better, being healthy, and appreciating my body for what it can do!
  • amcsouth
    amcsouth Posts: 283 Member
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    I love this post! I realized this the other day... how can I expect someone to love me for me if I can't even accept myself? :smile:
  • SugaryLynx
    SugaryLynx Posts: 2,640 Member
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    I am afraid.i am not that flexible

    Then use your mind :wink:
  • sun_fish
    sun_fish Posts: 864 Member
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    When will this self hatred end? Simple. Now. Right now. The moment we decide that irregardless of what the scale, mirror, mean voices in our heads say. . We are enough. And THAT is why we do what we do. Because we love ourselves.

    :drinker:

    ^^^ this

    it's much easier to reverse bad habits and build healthy ones and a healthier body when it comes from a place of "I deserve better than this" than when it comes from self-hatred, disgust, self-punishment, etc.

    I agree! But we are continually told food is either good or bad, so it is no wonder that when we eat "bad" food we feel guilty and beat ourselves up. I am thankful I found MFP and knowledgeable people here to tell me how to have a balanced diet that includes food I previously thought of as bad.
  • angel_of_harmony
    angel_of_harmony Posts: 188 Member
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    I spent a good deal of my time hating myself. Losing the weight didn't change who I was inside. It didn't make me stop pin pointing my faults. Only I could do that. I still struggle with the thoughts. Now, my ribs are too prominent, my boobs are too small. When will we be happy? When will this self hatred end? Simple. Now. Right now. The moment we decide that irregardless of what the scale, mirror, mean voices in our heads say. . We are enough. And THAT is why we do what we do. Because we love ourselves. Stop focusing on faults. Stop focusing on things that may not even be in our power to change and focus on all the good things you are. I am enough and you are too.

    Love yourself like no one else will. :flowerforyou:

    YES! :flowerforyou:
  • Keholde
    Keholde Posts: 12 Member
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    Love your post! : )
  • AllOutof_Bubblegum
    AllOutof_Bubblegum Posts: 3,646 Member
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    Awesome post! You are amazing!
  • JesterMFP
    JesterMFP Posts: 3,596 Member
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    Thank you for this, and you are so right. The self-hatred doesn't disappear with the weight, it only ends when we decide enough is enough. :flowerforyou:
  • 1ZenGirl
    1ZenGirl Posts: 432 Member
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    This made me cry. I really needed to see this today.
  • l_clc
    l_clc Posts: 126 Member
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    It's not very often I can relate and completely agree with something posted in the forums....I love your post and insight, it really shows your amazing character! I am struggling with the same thing right now. You think when you reach a certain point or goal that that is the end and you'll be happy....it's just not how it is in reality. The biggest struggle is really changing your inner voice to work with you, rather than against you. I love how positive you are and I agree 100%, it should start now. All the negative self-talk has got to stop ;) Kudo's on the great post....we all need to be reminded that we aren't alone and our own thoughts are in our control to change.
  • GC527
    GC527 Posts: 272 Member
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    I am at the beginning of this. I still hate myself and don't expect anyone else to like me either. I can change my habits and eventually be a smaller version of myself but changing the way I feel about myself is something I don't think I will ever succeed at.
  • tduguay43
    tduguay43 Posts: 1
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    I really like this post so true :)

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