NSV - not recognized

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annie61702
annie61702 Posts: 120 Member
in Success Stories
I am a teacher, and we had Field Day last week. I was taking my kids around to the various events, and said hello to one of the parent volunteers (I have had both his kids in my class). He didn't recognize me! He had to look at my badge to figure out who I was. He said, "Wow, you've lost weight." Then he sort of ruined it by saying, "You look better." He always was kind of a jerk...LOL. But actually I do look a lot better after losing about 60 pounds, so I just smiled.

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  • Fuzzipeg
    Fuzzipeg Posts: 2,301 Member
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    Well done, 60 lb loss brilliant. Looking and feeling healthier, the very best..........
  • Astronomically_Im_Tiny
    Astronomically_Im_Tiny Posts: 55 Member
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    See....see how you women are? We give a basic compliment of "you look better" and yall have this resentment that he is implying you looked worse before! haha.....Its somewhere in the book of things we will never figure out about women.

    Anyways....good job on the weight loss. And teachers are awesome! (I am going to teach secondary sciences).
  • doctorsookie
    doctorsookie Posts: 1,084 Member
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    No..."you look better" actually means you looked worse before. It's when any body ( not just men) say " you look good" that leaves the mind to wonder if they thought we didn't look good before. LOL

    That's a great NSV...
  • Qarol
    Qarol Posts: 6,171 Member
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    "You look better" indeed implies you didn't look as good before. Is it truth? Probably. But a "better" way to say that would be, "You look good." Is that so hard?
  • Astronomically_Im_Tiny
    Astronomically_Im_Tiny Posts: 55 Member
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    The guy is a realist. he is giving a direct compliment that she has done something great for herself, and recognizes the effort of her making improvements.That is the payoff, after all.

    If he said, "you look good," and the woman is left to wonder whether he thought she was less attractive before, or even more, if he may like her (given the right circumstances)....does the woman really want to enter that paradoxical state of mind? 60 lbs is considerable, and it changes facial structure. it would be very easy to not recognize someone, male or female.

    Im not trying to start an argument. I am just gaining insight. it is applicable to my life.

    Once again, great loss OP.
  • annie61702
    annie61702 Posts: 120 Member
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    Well, it's true - I do look better! A lot better, actually. Still, it's nicer when someone just says, "You look great!" To me, anyway. So that's a lesson for you guys out there. But, truthfully, that particular guy is always pretty blunt. Just his personality, I guess.
  • MDF247
    MDF247 Posts: 64 Member
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    ...Still, it's nicer when someone just says, "You look great!"

    Guys can't win no matter what... really. I can't remember the last time my wife thought what I said was what I meant, and I generally say pretty much exactly what I mean. There's this word scrambling device in the female brain, you see...
  • Deipneus
    Deipneus Posts: 1,862 Member
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    Guys can't win no matter what... really. I can't remember the last time my wife thought what I said was what I meant, and I generally say pretty much exactly what I mean. There's this word scrambling device in the female brain, you see...
    Not only that, but my wife gets irritated when I respond to what she says instead of what she MEANT. ;-)
  • mfp2014mfp
    mfp2014mfp Posts: 689 Member
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    See....see how you women are? We give a basic compliment of "you look better" and yall have this resentment that he is implying you looked worse before! haha.....Its somewhere in the book of things we will never figure out about women.

    Anyways....good job on the weight loss. And teachers are awesome! (I am going to teach secondary sciences).

    You take one example and apply it to all women, not trying to start an argument, just an insight :tongue:

    Congratulations on your NSV OP :flowerforyou:
  • JenniTheVeggie
    JenniTheVeggie Posts: 2,474 Member
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    Awesome OP!
  • nicolemontagna22
    nicolemontagna22 Posts: 229 Member
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    I don't care what my husbands says. I'm just happy when his face isn't buried in his cell phone lol
  • scottkjar
    scottkjar Posts: 346 Member
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    Then he sort of ruined it by saying, "You look better." He always was kind of a jerk...LOL. But actually I do look a lot better after losing about 60 pounds, so I just smiled.
    He says you look better.
    You say you look better.
    He's a jerk for saying it.
    On the SAT Verbal Analogy section, the next line would be obvious. (Maybe that's why they removed that section!)
  • amy8400
    amy8400 Posts: 478 Member
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    Yeah, we ladies are a bit picky on word choices. And admittedly we tend to see the negative before the positive.

    I look at it this way: if someone says you're looking better (as opposed to good or great), they're grammatically right because it's the comparative of the you/before with the you/now. Doesn't necessarily mean you looked bad before...just that you're better now. Roll with it and enjoy the attention :drinker:
  • PJPrimrose
    PJPrimrose Posts: 916 Member
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    Wonderful weight loss OP! GO YOU! I'll bet a field trip with all those kids (brave of you!) was easier lighter and healthier!

    I work out with a LOT of guys. Maybe 1/4 of my Martial Arts class has women. It's the same with the gym and weight lifting. Guys LIVE to be smart-*kitten* with each other. I do believe it makes them bond and feel manly-like. LOL. They get in the habit of saying things like, "Looking good with the weight loss man...too bad your face still looks like a pile of dog ***". They laugh and pat each other on the back over this.

    Then they get around a woman, who is in good shape, and their minds are um....distracted...yeah we'll go with distracted. So trying to re-calibrate to normal conversation with a woman can be difficult. So the comments come out half "guy" (see above) and half the proper compliment to give a woman they've been checking out.

    Have pity on them and don't take it personally. I do not think they can help it! :wink:
  • RekindledRose
    RekindledRose Posts: 523 Member
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    How about... "You looked great before, and you look even better now!" That's how I would have taken it.
  • aplhabetacheesecake
    aplhabetacheesecake Posts: 181 Member
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    [/quote] Not only that, but my wife gets irritated when I respond to what she says instead of what she MEANT. ;-)
    [/quote]

    Oh no!! Im pretty sure ive nailed my hubby with one of those tho eeep!
  • jennalennafur
    jennalennafur Posts: 80 Member
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    Okay guys. Lets not get butthurt over a minor detail in her story...


    Anyway, Congrats girl! I'm excited for NSV to start happening to me!
  • Astronomically_Im_Tiny
    Astronomically_Im_Tiny Posts: 55 Member
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    Jenna....she inadvertently sparked a fun and intriguing topic: Male and female perception. A man pays a simple compliment to a woman, and yet (unbeknownst to him), he is lightly acknowledged as a jerk for his use of terminology. What we men have to figure out is....how do you get from point A (compliment) to point B (insult) if there is nothing else tangible to go off of?

    It is quite a topic in the field of psychology....I love it. And I'm not even a psych major! Of course, we men are not without our differences....

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