dealing with constant put downs from people...

chloeealicee
chloeealicee Posts: 204 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
How do you deal with people constantly telling you what you're doing is 'obsessive' 'unhealthy' and 'weird?'
(I used to have a very high bf % but now i've reached my goal i'm just trying to maintain it)

I can deal with the snide comments i get at college about eating 'rabbit food' and being told i should just go eat a burger instead but when it's family it gets a little harder. It's frustrating when all i'm trying to do is be healthy and people such as my parents keep telling me i'm fine the way i am and that they're worried. I usually eat around 1800-2000 calories of good food a day and exercise 4 times a week and have been very consistent for 2 years now but i still after all that time deal with this.

I've tried explaining to these people what i'm doing is healthy but the counting calories thing just scares them. What else can i do to persuade them? i know it's just looking out for me but i get quite discouraged by this sometimes and i've stopped all together several times. I just want to make them happy as well as myself.

Replies

  • _Zardoz_
    _Zardoz_ Posts: 3,987 Member
    I just want to make them happy as well as myself.
    That's your problem you're trying to make other people happy. Just do what you do and if they're real friends or support they will. If they don't you know who your real friends are. It's not your job to persuade them if they want the information and ask tell them if not just carry on and do what you do.
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    I just want to make them happy as well as myself.
    That's your problem you're trying to make other people happy. Just do what you do and if they're real friends or support they will. If they don't you know who your real friends are. It's not your job to persuade them if they want the information and ask tell them if not just carry on and do what you do.

    All of this!
  • Capt_Apollo
    Capt_Apollo Posts: 9,026 Member
    when they say these things to you, remember, it's not about you at all. it's about themselves. they wish they had something that they were passionate about, or understand the dedication you have. i wouldn't sweat it too much, or give it validation. just shrug, eat your salad, and smile.

    but just once in a while, have a slice of pizza in front of them. ;-)
  • skinnyinnotime
    skinnyinnotime Posts: 4,078 Member
    I'm guessing most of these people are young as I've had no one say this stuff to me.

    Let them talk just don't listen. If you're doing this the healthy way (whats with the rabbit food comments) then let them worry about themselves and you do you.
  • geebusuk
    geebusuk Posts: 3,348 Member
    What state are they in?
    An obvious answer if they're overweight/unfit is to fight fire with fire point this out.
    For instance, the likely hood of getting all sorts of nasty stuff as the years go on if you're unfit.
    "Well, there's a high chance you'll suffer with dementia when you're older so I NEED to b healthy so I can look after you" might be appropriately cutting :).

    Or you could just explain to family the reasoning behind it and ask them to stop?

    Or just ignore them :).

    To be fair, for the person not in the know, an eating disorder and having a hobby of general 'health and fitness' are pretty similar.
    Maybe you should also ask if they'd prefer you spending your time parting and taking (Illegal) drugs, presuming you don't.
  • horndave
    horndave Posts: 565
    Tell them to mind their own business.
  • Topsking2010
    Topsking2010 Posts: 2,245 Member
    Being healthy and fit is one thing being extremely thin is another. Maybe your friends are concerned about your weight!!
  • snowflake954
    snowflake954 Posts: 8,399 Member
    Why don't you go to the doctor for a routine checkup. If the doctor says you're fine and at a good weight for you, get it in writing and stick it under anyone's nose if they comment that they're worried about your health. If your doctor has issues with your health, and wants a change---well that's between you and him, or her.
  • chloeealicee
    chloeealicee Posts: 204 Member
    when they say these things to you, remember, it's not about you at all. it's about themselves. they wish they had something that they were passionate about, or understand the dedication you have. i wouldn't sweat it too much, or give it validation. just shrug, eat your salad, and smile.

    but just once in a while, have a slice of pizza in front of them. ;-)

    thank you for a really good answer! this is what i needed to hear and dw I do indeed love to enjoy the odd slice of pizza or chocolate bar in front of people just to shut them up:') haha
  • geebusuk
    geebusuk Posts: 3,348 Member
    It should be noted you CAN eat pizza and burgers and still be healthy, thin and fit while staying within your macros.
    Make sure you're getting enough micronutrients and it's as good as any other food! :)
  • WhiteTan
    WhiteTan Posts: 4
    This is why there is so much obesity in America. It's in the norm to be lazy and eat like crap, but then the people who actually take the initiative to be self-disciplined are criticized and are even accused of being "obsessive."
  • cebreisch
    cebreisch Posts: 1,340 Member
    Sad thing is, everybody has opinions and aren't afraid of sharing them.

    People on a mission to do something positive get accused of being "obsessive" - and my thought is, why is this a bad thing?

    I remember my brother-in-laws mother saying something to me when his brother had asked how I was losing weight, and I began to tell him - when she said, "That's your family's problem - you research things to death instead of just doing it" (regarding having weight loss surgery). And why wouldn't I do research about something if I were planning on having surgery??? Really??

    My family though is now much less critical of what I eat than they used to be. BUT they'll still look at me sideways if I have very much of something I probably shouldn't. I don't care.

    BUT the next time they have burgers and fries or something, try having some....there's always a way to work that sort of thing in, especially if it'll shut them up! LOL
  • Branstin
    Branstin Posts: 2,320 Member
    Tell them to mind their own business.

    +1 Bingo!
  • whitelung18
    whitelung18 Posts: 12
    I have to deal with this on a daily basis. People at work are constantly commenting on what I'm eating, what I'm not eating, if I look like I'm putting on weight... and it doesn't stop there. My appearance is constantly criticized as well. You would think that grown adults would mind their own business or not comment on certain things unless they were brought up, but no. I don't have the thickest skin in the world, so occasionally these things will really bother me. I have to remind myself that I'm not doing the things I do for them- I'm doing it for me. Most people will never go out of their way to think through what they say to you, so you've got to just come back with a dazzling response or just walk away and let it go (and then eat some pizza while admiring your bicep like it was an accident).

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