can't ignore comments from friends and family. (rant?)

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as124
as124 Posts: 27
in Motivation and Support
I just started MFP almost month ago and have lost five pounds. I feel proud of myself, but the only one who knows about my dieting is my boyfriend. He keeps telling everyone in his family about how I'm trying to lose weight and it's embarrassing. I told him to stop telling people, I just hope he remembers. Plus his sister made this nasty comment that losing five pounds in a month is nothing. That comment really bruised my confidence. Is she right? Even if she is, I'm proud that I've started to take care of my body, but it still is a nagging comment in the back of my mind.
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Replies

  • woodsidemember
    woodsidemember Posts: 8 Member
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    Some people just have to tell everything:) after 42years I try to coach dh on whist not to say( he does not like that however:) he tends to think the comment that I have lost is something I would be proud of, like you it depends the company we are in. Sorry for the rude comment, some people constantly speak before thinking.
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,742 Member
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    First off, 5 lb a month is a great amount to lose. I have never lost more than about 6 lb in a month and I have lost over 70 lb in a year. I don't think anyone would say that's a small weight loss.

    Some people are very personal about their weight loss efforts, and I understand that well because I have always been one of those people! I think it's good that you spoke with your boyfriend about not sharing this info with everyone and hopefully he'll respect your wishes. Maybe you should reinforce to him how much it bothers you when people (like his sister) make comments.

    And you should be proud! Yay!
  • LosingExtraKristy
    LosingExtraKristy Posts: 164 Member
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    You are doing awesome!! Don't let anyone get you down. :smile: I hope he remembers to keep it quite, although I'm sure he is proud of you!! Sounds like his sister is the kind to fad diet? Lose quick, gain it back? Oh well...don't listen to her. :flowerforyou:
  • MomTo3Lovez
    MomTo3Lovez Posts: 800 Member
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    5 lbs in a month is fantastic! Don't let anyone keep you discouranged, as long as your boyfriend is supportive along with your family and friends don't worry about what his sister says. Keep doing what you are doing because it's working. Remember people lose weight differently don't forget to measure yourself too because there may be weeks where you don't see a difference on the scale but you will see the difference in the inches.

    Good luck!
  • dutchi2010
    dutchi2010 Posts: 47 Member
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    No, she is not right!!!! I started MFP 3/4/2014. So far I have lost 7lbs and I am very proud. You should should feel amazeing. Next month you will be 10 pounds lighter. Sounds Like you are doing a great job. Keep it up!
  • Jelaan
    Jelaan Posts: 815 Member
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    Losing 5 pounds in a month is an accomplishment, especially when you are losing it in a healthy manner. You should be proud of yourself! You are also right in that it is none of anyone else's business. It is very hard but you need to ignore the negative comments and focus on your victories and goals. Maybe she is envious? It sounds like your boyfriend is proud of you though :)
  • MrsHollingsworthThomas
    MrsHollingsworthThomas Posts: 164 Member
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    Well, on the bright side.. he's probably telling everyone b/c he's proud of you too. :blushing:
    Mine does the SAME thing telling his family how well I've been doing. I love him for it and am soo appreciative that he supports me. Try looking at it THAT way.
    I'd just remind him that you'd like to keep your efforts a bit private... he should understand and respect that. Tell him you want your progress to speak for itself. Wait until you see them and they TELL you that you look like you've lost.. or they can see the changes... THAT's the best!

    As for his sister.. well.. you can't win them all . lol. smh
    Is she a bit jealous of your efforts? :frown:

    ANY weight loss is something to be proud of. Keep working hard on your goals and focus on keeping YOU happy. the others will see your positive energy and new found happiness and fall in line eventually.
    If not, then their opinions don't matter b/c they NEVER had your best interest at heart. In my opinion.

    Good luck on your efforts. :flowerforyou:
  • vanillasugar
    vanillasugar Posts: 246 Member
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    5 lbs in a month IS something, and something to be quite proud of.

    Also, don't let that hurtful comment linger in the back of your mind...bring it front and center. Use that to stay focused. When I had started on the track of getting and staying healthy a few years ago, I had a "frenemy" make the comment to my daughters about my weight loss that "so? She'll just gain it back." Whenever I have temporarily lost sight of my goals, that comment reminds me to never give up. I'll be d@mned if I let her be right :-)
  • roozielynne
    roozielynne Posts: 52 Member
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    First, 5 pounds in a month is a major accomplishment. Do not allow anyone else's snide, mean spirited or just randomly stupid and thoughtless comments ever take that away from you. There will always be people somewhere that don't approve. The only thing that matters is how you feel!

    Secondly, I can relate to your discomfort as my husband has many times bragged to his family when I have attempted any weight loss effort. It always embarrassed me as well. Until that is that I realized that he was proud of my accomplishment of just trying to be healthier and wanted to compliment me in a form that he felt safe to with those closest to him. I finally realized that I wasn't actually uncomfortable with him telling, I was having an issue with my worries of failing and being humiliated, yet again.
    I think it's good that you spoke to your boyfriend about his (over) sharing. Just communicating how you feel should help with the issue all together. And if it doesn't sit him down and talk to him again. (sometimes significant others don't always get what we are trying to say or how important it is to us on the first few tries! ;) )

    Congrats on your success! Keep doing what your doing and feel better about yourself!
  • BlueBombers
    BlueBombers Posts: 4,065 Member
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    Just ignore her and keep doing what you are doing. You are going to hear all kinds of comments. In one ear out the other.

    Good luck!
  • Keepcalmanddontblink
    Keepcalmanddontblink Posts: 718 Member
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    It sounds like your boyfriend is excited to tell everyone about your success! Enjoy his support and use it to keep going. As for his sister, ignore it, because 5lbs is a big deal, and she won't be able to say anything when you are at your goal and she's getting bigger. lol
  • Kita328
    Kita328 Posts: 370 Member
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    When you begin something- It is NOT NOTHING. It is difficult to start anything. Most comments negative are pure jealousy. People who are not confident in themselves or want to make changes and have not or have failed want the company in misery. The old saying misery loves company is true.

    Stick with your goals. Soon enough you will feel good about what you are doing. Dont let people break you down. Stand tall and keep up the work you have started- Honestly the only opinion that matters is yours- So whatever she says is unimportant.
  • Tiff050709
    Tiff050709 Posts: 497 Member
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    Losing weight at a good pace will help it stay off in the long run. You should be proud of yourself, you deserve to be! Try not to worry about what other people think/say. You are on the right track, don't be discouraged. :flowerforyou:
  • amazinglyjae
    amazinglyjae Posts: 49 Member
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    5lbs in a month is healthy, you're doing fantastic ! Sometimes you just gotta ignore people and their comments, or, use that as fuel.
  • aribugg
    aribugg Posts: 164 Member
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    i think you're going at a great speed, as it's unheathy too lose too much, but you also didnt lose a small amount for a month. and either way, even if you only lost one pound, you arent gaining, right? so you're headed in the right direction! :flowerforyou:
  • rachelg145
    rachelg145 Posts: 185 Member
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    Just remember you are losing weight for you, not for anyone else. ANY negative comments about healthy weight loss or any type of healthy attempt to better yourself are made out of jealously. What you think about yourself is most important so be confident and brush off the annoying comments.
  • ChristinWrites
    ChristinWrites Posts: 119 Member
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    I think people who have to make snide comments and tear others down are either A) jealous B) insecure or C) both A and B. Don't let others opinions tear you down. I've only lost 9 pounds since January - but I've lost a lot of inches because I strength train and do cardio daily and I eat at a modest deficit. I've developed and am still developing healthy habits I can keep for life. That weight will come off, I'm shrinking and I don't need a number on a scale to validate my worth. Keep it up - you're doing just fine.
  • itsmeheatherp
    itsmeheatherp Posts: 15 Member
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    People do not realize that when they open their mouth hurtful things come out!
    My husband doesn't support my efforts at all. I think he worries that if I become healthier, then he will appear worse off. I want this for me and it is hard when there is no support. I'm doing whole30.com and you can't get weighed for the first 30 days. He keeps eluding to the weight # but I am not going to fold and get on the scale. You need to focus on YOU and let those around you do their own thing. Make yourself a priority.

    I put a huge calendar on my wall in my room and my husband made fun of it. I focus on one great accomplishment each day to fuel me the next day. I write on it and I am proud of it! I will be able to see the growth of myself over 30 days and see how far I have come. Try it out. It is empowering! He got upset and made fun of me but I kept hearing "You Deserve This For You!" the whole time. I kept saying it to myself.

    You can do it, just focus that YOU DESERVE THIS and you will move mountains!
  • seismicmuffin
    seismicmuffin Posts: 160 Member
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    My boyfriend is the same way. He's told people at work and family how I've been working out and eating healthy etc, a few have even asked me about it and wondered when my boyfriend will start doing the same, lol. He is probably proud of you and (if he's not changing his lifestyle with you) he's probably wishing he had the willpower like you to start it and stick with it. As for his sister, she sounds like a snot. Anyone that makes those types of comments doesn't deserve the time of day. Just let the nasty remarks slide off you! You're doing a great job and 5 lbs is awesome! Keep it up :)
  • cebreisch
    cebreisch Posts: 1,340 Member
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    Well, I guess now you know that if you didn't want anybody to know you're trying to lose weight, the last person you should tell is the boyfriend.

    As for the idiot comment made by his sister - it is just that - an idiot comment. 5 pounds in a month is AWESOME.

    My dad would say "best to keep the mouth shut and be thought a fool than open it and remove all doubt." Don't let the fools get to you...Shrug it off.

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