In need of support, I suppose...

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doodpeal
doodpeal Posts: 4
in Motivation and Support
This is my first time posting, so I'm not really sure if this is the right place to post this, so I apologize in advance.

Well, where do I start? I've lost a significant amount of weight since this September. I'm 20 years old, 5'4" and went from 175lbs to now being at 116lbs. I don't consider that to be underweight to be honest, and I still have a lot of flab left to lose, but I did end up getting some health problems as a result...

Aside from falling in love with exercise for the first time in my life, I've also become very paranoid and food obsessed. Parties and outings stress me out, and have brought me to tears many times. I avoid eating with and around people, but I'm trying really hard to get better. I've stopped avoiding certain foods, like I did initially, but eating is a struggle sometimes. I get light headed and dizzy and I can't stop thinking about food. I've been taking steps to improve these last two months or so, and actually started to see a doctor about it.

I guess I just doubt myself a lot, and I feel paranoid about gaining weight. I don't know what is the appropriate amount of calories for me to eat, and whether or not I should be counting at all. But on the other hand, I don't ever go bellow 1400 calories, so I shouldn't be having a lot of the issues that I am. I typically eat somewhere between 1400-1800 calories, maybe more when I exercise. My doctor told me not to exercise for a while, but it makes it difficult for me not to feel guilty about eating...

I just feel very stupid. I don't have a whole lot of people to go to about this, so I thought someone here might understand. I don't under eat - I actually feel like I over-eat for a person with my stats. It's all so confusing and I don't know what I'm doing. Despite the fact that I haven't had my menstrual cycle since January (which is very not normal for me, and a huge concern), it's really hard to allow myself to gain some weight. I know I should, but I'm scared and sad. For once I feel like I'm at an average weight, and yet I'm not.

I'm sorry for such a weird and long post. I just needed to get it off my chest.

Replies

  • tahneesummers88
    tahneesummers88 Posts: 52 Member
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    :-(

    I hope you can sort this one out without it overcoming your life. This all sounds more of an emotional battle than a physical one.
  • hedean
    hedean Posts: 40 Member
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    Wow I am so sorry to hear that you are going through this. Two years ago I went from 160 lbs to 115 lbs and I experienced the same problems you described. Perhaps it is common when girls lose a lot of weight quickly to become obsessed with it? I also lost my period, couldn't stop thinking about food, and was constantly running off my calorie intake. I got really crazy about it and eventually couldn't maintain my lifestyle anymore. I was tired. I have since gained back all that weight plus about 15 lbs extra! Yikes! I know it seems so difficult and scary to stop exercising, but I suggest you really try hard to follow your doctor's guidelines so you don't end up with a mistake like I did, even though I'm sure you wouldn't. Just remember that your goal is to do what is healthiest for your body, right? You acknowledged that you are obsessed with your weight, so be conscious that it may cloud your judgement.
  • hollymccall
    hollymccall Posts: 88 Member
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    No judgement. But it sounds to me like its become more of a disorder. At your height and weight, I wouldn't say you're that much under weight. But if you are obsessing and stress out that much...sounds more like an eating disorder. Eating healthy and exercising is a great life style, but when it becomes your life ....it is no longer a healthy easy to live. It's emotionally unhealthy.
  • doodpeal
    doodpeal Posts: 4
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    No judgement. But it sounds to me like its become more of a disorder. At your height and weight, I wouldn't say you're that much under weight. But if you are obsessing and stress out that much...sounds more like an eating disorder. Eating healthy and exercising is a great life style, but when it becomes your life ....it is no longer a healthy easy to live. It's emotionally unhealthy.

    You're right. I guess I was always nervous to jump to that conclusion because I'm not that much underweight, and in my mind, I thought you'd have to be really underweight to have an ED. I didn't think that anyone would take me seriously if I went to a doctor because of it. But I'm glad that's not the case.
  • doodpeal
    doodpeal Posts: 4
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    Wow I am so sorry to hear that you are going through this. Two years ago I went from 160 lbs to 115 lbs and I experienced the same problems you described. Perhaps it is common when girls lose a lot of weight quickly to become obsessed with it? I also lost my period, couldn't stop thinking about food, and was constantly running off my calorie intake. I got really crazy about it and eventually couldn't maintain my lifestyle anymore. I was tired. I have since gained back all that weight plus about 15 lbs extra! Yikes! I know it seems so difficult and scary to stop exercising, but I suggest you really try hard to follow your doctor's guidelines so you don't end up with a mistake like I did, even though I'm sure you wouldn't. Just remember that your goal is to do what is healthiest for your body, right? You acknowledged that you are obsessed with your weight, so be conscious that it may cloud your judgement.

    Thank you for the encouraging words. I think you're right about becoming obsessed after such a loss. Most of my life I've been overweight, and so a change like this is something I've never really experienced before, so I guess that's enough of a reason to cling to it so badly.
  • Biggirllittledreams
    Biggirllittledreams Posts: 306 Member
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    This is my first time posting, so I'm not really sure if this is the right place to post this, so I apologize in advance.

    Well, where do I start? I've lost a significant amount of weight since this September. I'm 20 years old, 5'4" and went from 175lbs to now being at 116lbs. I don't consider that to be underweight to be honest, and I still have a lot of flab left to lose, but I did end up getting some health problems as a result...

    Aside from falling in love with exercise for the first time in my life, I've also become very paranoid and food obsessed. Parties and outings stress me out, and have brought me to tears many times. I avoid eating with and around people, but I'm trying really hard to get better. I've stopped avoiding certain foods, like I did initially, but eating is a struggle sometimes. I get light headed and dizzy and I can't stop thinking about food. I've been taking steps to improve these last two months or so, and actually started to see a doctor about it.

    I guess I just doubt myself a lot, and I feel paranoid about gaining weight. I don't know what is the appropriate amount of calories for me to eat, and whether or not I should be counting at all. But on the other hand, I don't ever go bellow 1400 calories, so I shouldn't be having a lot of the issues that I am. I typically eat somewhere between 1400-1800 calories, maybe more when I exercise. My doctor told me not to exercise for a while, but it makes it difficult for me not to feel guilty about eating...

    I just feel very stupid. I don't have a whole lot of people to go to about this, so I thought someone here might understand. I don't under eat - I actually feel like I over-eat for a person with my stats. It's all so confusing and I don't know what I'm doing. Despite the fact that I haven't had my menstrual cycle since January (which is very not normal for me, and a huge concern), it's really hard to allow myself to gain some weight. I know I should, but I'm scared and sad. For once I feel like I'm at an average weight, and yet I'm not.

    I'm sorry for such a weird and long post. I just needed to get it off my chest.

    There are studies done on starvation, finding that when people deprive themselves they tend to become much more preoccupied with food. I've noticed form talking to people that even small amounts of restriction often produce the same (but obviously less drastic) result.

    I know that you're not starving yourself in terms of calories, but depending on how active you are....well you quite frankly may be skimming that line by burning them off. Please use a calculator (using your BMR and all that jazz) to calculate your caloric needs. Most people need a bit more than 1,400 calories to sustain healthy weightloss (i'm not saying whether or not thats you as I don't know your experiences with such), so make sure you're consuming enough.

    Also, you could of lost your period for a wide array of reasons- lifestyle changes, rapid weight loss, too little body fat, etc. I'd care to bet that if you're that obsessive over your food however, it could be due to your restrictive eating. If you're not eating enough, working to eat a more complete diet could help with the preoccupations and amenorrhea.


    You don't have to be starving yourself in order to have an eating disorder- there are plenty of forms that come in all shapes and sizes. The moods, anxieties, fears, etc. are things that people with ed's typically experience when confronting the prospect of eating, so you may want to make an appointment with a psychotherapist if you can. If you find that in trying to eat a more adequate diet you face more anxiety, distress, etc. you really should seek out a therapist. I used to have an eating disorder, and your thinking patterns resemble mine when I first found myself drowning in such. So i'm worried- feel free to message me if you need anything. <3

    Note: I am not by any means a doctor of any sort. I'm speaking from personal experiences above.
  • DaveneGfit
    DaveneGfit Posts: 338 Member
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    Thank you for taking the time to share! No judgement at all. I have gone though being obsessed with food. I have recently come to the conclusion that health is more than counting calories and working out...it really has to do with our mindset. The reason I was so overweight in the first place was due to a deeper issue and belief that I had about myself. When I started to deal with that part of myself things started to change. Feel free to add me!
  • spamantha57
    spamantha57 Posts: 674 Member
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    I'm sorry to hear you're going through all that. Exercise & food are to be great things, but it's never healthy to obsess over them in either direction.

    Although it's common to point out those who are severely underweight or overweight to have an eating disorder, it doesn't really always have to do with what the scale says - more so on thoughts & reactions like you described. You can be overweight & be anorexic or bulimic too, there are lots of people like that.

    One of my friends who's a recovering anorexic & also counsels others with similar problems uses this site as goals to eat more, rather than eat less. That's one of the many wonderful things about this site, is that it gives you options like that to cater to what your needs are.

    I've had in my past unhealthy approaches to food too. Ironically at my heaviest point I wasn't eating much at all either (doctors were telling me to eat less when I was only eating < 900 calories a day at most. Maybe they thought I was lying or something. :p ) I recovered to the point where I am making it my life career now to help others with health, fitness & nutrition.

    Definitely speak with someone, professionally in regards to your disorder on how you view food & weight. That is an emotional & mental issue that needs to be addressed that you won't fin much help here on the internet.
    It might be healthy for you to make small steps & goals that you know are in a healthy range & stick to that - no cheating missing or adding calories or exercise. For example, you know you must eat between 1400-1800 cals or something. And you know some exercise is healthy but not too much, so keep it into a 20-30 min a day range max. Making parameters in advance that you know are healthy might help you see things more clearly on paper. But I hope you get some help & support soon too outside of here. :)
  • Biggirllittledreams
    Biggirllittledreams Posts: 306 Member
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    You can be overweight & be anorexic or bulimic too, there are lots of people like that.

    You actually can't be anoretic if you're overweight- the DSM is still sticking to the weight requirement (dictating that you need to be underweight). Anorexia is the only eating disorder with a weight requirement though, and by no means is Anorexia any less or more severe than the other disorders. If you restrict and are overweight/still of a "normal" weight, then you have OSFED. The same goes for if you binge and purge yet don't meet the DSM's strict criteria for Bulimia- you'd have OSFED. :P

    Regardless - like I think you were trying to get across - people of all shapes and sizes can have an eating disorder, and they're all incredibly dangerous, both on a physical and mental level. <3
  • doodpeal
    doodpeal Posts: 4
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    Thank you all who commented. I felt very uncomfortable making such a personal post, and I appreciate all of the support :)

    I started seeing some doctors who specialize in ED about two weeks ago, it's just all of these changes make me nervous and I felt the need to talk about them.

    Thank you everyone for the kindness and understanding.

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