Advice? Loving food then sudden compulsive overeating

onmyown70 · April 2014

Hi all,

I had some great advice when introducing myself.

I'm just looking for friends or those that understand. When I work out and look after myself I feel great. I don't want to be someone with an eating disorder, I love food, I love good quality healthy food, it's no torture for me to eat salad, I love all food (apart from squid), in that sense I'm lucky. i feel great when I eat well, and sometimes I have a great relationship with food, I can do a small dessert/treat after a lovely nutritious meal and I feel great. i look good, I can think straight , and I have energy and am mindful. I look forward to meals but food doesn't dominate. I can have a great relationship with food, enjoy it.

Sometimes, like today, I get up, have a coffee or two and start eating a bit of cereal, then I eat the pack, then a few hours later I start on the bread... I eat nearly a whole loaf. I feel almost trance like and compulsive. I eat and my stomach hurts and yet I want more. I then feel tired and even more upset. I convince myself and give myself a million excuses to eat something and it becomes a roller coaster. I am not denying responsibility but food then almost feels like a drug, i feel compelled to just keep eating, frantically. I actually carry one sting knowing it will ruin my day, I feel sick and think about what I can eat next.

I hate the fact that I'm also an overeater. I will always tell myself this one bite won't hurt, or that looks nice I'll just have one packet. When is something like cereal or sugary, even a hot ross bun.... I suddenly feel sleepy, happy and want to eat it all. I sometimes am sick because I have had so much.

Yet I had a day yesterday, I had three meals some snacks, a small amount of healthy grains

I want to be someone who just has one slice, I don't want to be an overeating weirdo... I say weirdo in that when I'm eating like this it's manic and afterwards I'm ashamed.

i don't understand myself,which seems ridiculous. Interestingly if I get up and exercise first thing I don't do this, but having a children this isn't always a possibility.

:-( feeling a bit frustrated and sad I don't know if anyone has any more advice.

MackynDibsMom · April 2014

Hi there!
I don't necessarily have any advice, but wanted to share that I have recently become this way (manic). In fact I just hopped back on here to see if I couldn't get myself grounded.
I had a really manic day. Started with coffee and great intentions. I packed an AWESOME lunch of salad and berries and apples and kefir and tea.
Sounds great right? Heck yes!
Did I eat any of it? No.

Instead I had some Easter candy, and a cupcake, and two Top Ramen packages, and some Chex Mix, and a diet coke. Now I feel like crap and wish I'd eaten the good food.
Anywho, just thought I'd share my experience and maybe a in a common experience we can find some relief from the manic feeling.

ottmanfamily · April 2014

I hear you!
I am really good during the work day. I bring a Yogurt for breakfast, orange for snack and a healthy choice or lean cuisine meal with a 5 calorie Snapple for lunch.
It is when I head home for the day that I struggle the most. The pantry calls my name and the kids have all kinds of Easter Candy and man do I love chocolate.
I have been on a 1200 calorie a day diet for about 5 weeks and lost 10.8 lbs...I remind myself of this when I am drawn to the "JUNK" stuff in the house. Do I still have a bite? Yes, but i have been getting better on this because I tell myself..is it really worth it....You have worked so hard for 5 weeks and most times it helps. Drink lots of water...this does help!!! I use a little flavoring in my water (MIO FIT, Crystal Light)....
I do my gym workout at the end of my day and when I come home, I go to bed and that has pretty well stopped my night time snacking.. I am just too tired !!!
It is a constant struggle, but just keep asking yourself before you binge "is this worth it?"
Stay positive and you will succeed!!!!!

slk_5555 · April 2014

I don't have any advice, but I can be like this too. I can go for weeks or even months when I'm really focused with food & exercise.I love all foods & love cooking and when I am focused I feel great with a good balanced diet, loads of energy and great motivation to exercise. I always thought I had a good relationship with food. But sometimes I am so focused that it feels a bit obsessive, constantly thinking about what I will cook/eat next.

Then I have times when its like someone has flicked a switch in my head. I no longer want to cook and eat complete and utter junk. This will include binging on chocolates and cake until I feel ill.

As with other things in life, I sometimes think I have 2 extremes. I don't really do anything in moderation.

castadiva · April 2014

A question for you: do the binge days follow any sort of pattern? Do they coincide with, or follow, days/events when you are more stressed, or upset/lonely/angry/worried/bored/isolated than usual? I have experienced similar issues in the past and still do battle with it, though to a lesser extent than I did. I generally find that there is a definable trigger - maybe keep track of how you are feeling around these episodes for a bit and see if any pattern emerges.

Early-morning exercise also reduces the likelihood of bingeing for me, possibly because of the endorphins released. Not a guarantee, though.

myrtleMac123 · April 2014

Unfortunately that kind of eating you talk about is extremely common and started somewhere way back where you started to use food in the wrong way and it became a habit. I know because I did it/still do it but less so. Because food makes us feel good, gives us a sense of wellbeing.....when things aren't going well we subconsciously crave a feeling of wellbeing and food is one way to give us that...we don't even realize it while we are doing it and the reason we feel bad later on when we are full and feeling a bit sick is that the good feelings we were craving actually were not satisfied at all. I am trying to recognise the triggers that make me overeat and they are numerous. I am definitely an emotional eater. I have noticed especially if I am stressed that I will overeat. If I am lonely or sad, I will eat to cheer myself up. Eating does cause chemical reactions in our bodies which make us feel good so we are using food as a drug ie to make us feel good. High fat foods like chips and sweet foods like chocolate and cake especially cause chemical reactions and a temporary euphoric reaction. BUT because food is NOT the Answer to these particular needs (just to feel good, loneliness, affirmation, stress relief, love, intimacy, reward, etc etc you make your own list) we get temporary good feelings (from the chemical reactions within, the pleasure of the taste, the pleasurable sucking action of eating sweet creamy chocolate, the comfort of warm fatty chips etc) but these feelings are very short lived and after a few minutes you are left feeling sick from overeating and now you are starting to feel the effects of the imbalance of food ie too much sugar, carbs and fat and that affects your feelings of wellbeing and your mood. You are also ashamed at your lack of control and feel guilty for abusing your health. You also have not properly dealt with the underlying cause of your overeating (if it is an emotional reason) you have just buried it underneath a pile of fat, carbs and sugar but it is still there festering away. These habits can be there for a very long time so it takes a bit of work to bring them to the surface. So now if I am stressed, I need to have a different plan. Maybe go for a short walk, sit down for 2 mins and reflect and make a realistic plan to tackle stress. For negative feelings and what I call a love deficit.. I need to tell myself that food is not the answer...take a break and maybe do something nice for someone else (instead of eating) and the feeling will go away. Hopefully some of what I said will be helpful and I hope I haven't sounded too preachy. I just know the misery of compulsive overeating...it is a downward spiral. Getting your food intake perfect isn't the answer to emotional eating either because that is just substituting 'control' as the drug and that is even worse so you revert back to binging to get the feelgood factor. The key to emotional eating is to recognise the cue that is causing you to eat and deal with it in a realistic way because food was never meant to be used to soothe or cure emotions. A good book is Press Pause by Dr Linda Mintle available on Amazon. This is a very long post .....sorry!

marshallexi · April 2014

I found 'outing' myself as a binge eater to my husband helped me the most. He had no idea (as I hid it really well) and made me try to vocalise what happens. Saying it all outloud to someone made a massive difference and made me realise the control lied solely with me - not with food.

Sit down and listen to your body. You'll have a trigger somewhere, mine was hunger; when it reached insatiable levels I would start eating and not stop. I had to learn to eat small, eat frequently and not be afraid of hunger (we're programmed to fear it, it's how we survive!). I found reducing the amount of sugary and processed foods helped too, kicking milk chocolate out my diet has helped me immeasurably.

Once you learn your patterns you can start to learn to control them.

(BTW, I can't remember the last time I binged, it must be well over 2 - 2.5 years ago now)

hmaddpear · April 2014

A question for you: do the binge days follow any sort of pattern? Do they coincide with, or follow, days/events when you are more stressed, or upset/lonely/angry/worried/bored/isolated than usual? I have experienced similar issues in the past and still do battle with it, though to a lesser extent than I did. I generally find that there is a definable trigger - maybe keep track of how you are feeling around these episodes for a bit and see if any pattern emerges.

Definitely this. If you can find your triggers, you can work through them or work around them. I also have specific food cravings to match my hormonal ups and downs.

Another rock to look under - I note that you have very little to lose (according to your profile ticker). Are you sure you're eating enough on your healthy eating days? The name of this game is to eat as much as you can, and still lose weight. If you cut too many calories, you run the risk of uncontrollable bingeing / falling off the wagon. Or are you restricting favourie foodstuffs too much? You mention bread, cereal and hot cross buns - are you not eating them at all normally? If not, you may be able to fit in a couple of slices of bread a day - while it will mean an extra couple of hundred calories, it would stop the overeating and make the weight loss slower, but more consistent.

I'm a carb comfort eater, so suspect it's the first of the two. But the second one is much easier to solve, so it wouldn't hurt to reassess while you work out what (if any) emotional triggers you have.

Good luck!

Eleonora91 · April 2014

I know what it means to say "I don't want to have an eating disorder", but unfortunately it's not that simple. I've been and I still am in the exact same place, even if I'm trying to avoid binges very hard (and mostly succeeding). Eating disorders are not just starving or overeating every single day. It's more subtle and harder to recognize. For example, I know my binges are often triggered by anxiety or sadness, but I also just love eating and I find it hard to stop when I'm full or even just reaching a full feeling. There's nothing to be ashamed of about it. I'd suggest you to recognize what triggers your binges, such as particular foods or circumstances, and eventually work on it with a professional.

pelleld · April 2014

Posting to follow this thread and gain some insight.....

estaticaa · April 2014

I also don't have any great advice to give you, but I can relate to what you say. Like you, I also love eating all kinds of food. My problem is there are days I'm so stressed out that, if I allowed myself, I could easily empty my pantry just to calm down.

So far, miraculously, I haven't. But I've only joined MFP at the end of February, so it's not a great feat. When I feel like ruining everything (as in overeating when I already had a healthy portion of food and know that I'm mostly stressed and not actually hungry), I choose to:
- drink water or tea.
- If I still feel "hungry" and absolutely need to eat something, I eat fruit or yogurt.

One thing that really works for me (because I'm an emotional eater) is:
- If I'm at home, instead of opening the pantry, I open my notebook and check all the progress I made so far and I instantly feel better about myself and not in the mood to do something stupid anymore.
- If I have time, I go for a quick walk, enjoy the scenery, and when I get back, I usually forget I was hungry.
- I usually keep just one small package with mini chocolates in my pantry, wrapped in individual doses, so each time I feel like repeating the individual dose, I'll have to tear open the plastic wrap and this is enough to remind me I'm crossing the line.

(Unlike you, I'm lucky because I don't have my pantry filled with chocolate. I had some chocolate during Easter and I never deprived myself to get a treat or two when I am outside, but I'm still actively trying to keep chocolate out of the house. )

I hope this helped!

kuolo · April 2014

Hi there, I could have written what you wrote, I struggled with this kind of thing for a long time although I was bulimic at the time. But that whole thing of starting breakfast with good intentions and then suddenly not being able to stop eating really rings a bell.
What helped me? Not one particular thing, I don't think. Making sure I'm not undereating, as chronic under nourishment will lead your body to want to binge as a defence from starvation, so make sure you are eating enough the rest of the time. I avoid sugary food to try to keep my blood sugar levels stable, and this includes things like cereal, which you mentioned. Sugar will make me crave more sugar not just that day but for days afterwards. I also avoid other foods that I know seem to set me off, but not everyone is keen on that approach. It works for me because I am infinitely happier without an ED, which I think is reasonable. It might be worth looking at your food diary to see if there are any patterns with your eating, which can be helpful to help you see what's going on, or if there are certain foods it might be wise to avoid for the time being. There is a book I came across recently called Brain Over Binge which is quite interesting reading and might be worth a look too. I feel for you, it's horrible struggling with this kind of thing.

onmyown70 · April 2014

I am absolutely overwhelmed at the amazing responses I have had. Not just because they have been really thoughtful but because I am sitting reading thinking "that's me" "that's spot on"!

I think for me, it's emotional. i know starvation and very restrictive diets make me overeat- but it rarely happens when I have an overheat day these days. However, this isn't my cause, I can be overeating after months of overeating.

What I find hard is I can't do moderation t the moment, I wish I could but I know it sounds silly but I can't test myself. I can feel mindful one day but not the next. Another poster was spot on when she highlighted emotional eating being a cause. I eat when anxious, stressed and have many other cues - see below. These are times when I overeat:

1. Before my period (sorry any guys) my bingeing is at it's worst then
2. First thing in the morning, I'm always grumpy, seeking coffee and I even eat dark chocolate at this time. Oddly if i start bingeing in the morning I don't feel satisfied I just want more
3. i binge when mildly stressed, anxious, bored, lonely and sad
4. I also overeat when excited! this isn't usually as manic though
5. I can start overeating when I have a taste of something that makes me feel euphoric so bread, chocolate, cereal (actually sugary cereal gives me more of a compulsive feeling than anything else), chocolate chip cookies and so on. I don't usually have those things around, and when I do get lax, I just have "a little portion" and then go mad. I am absolutely serious and I can't understand why but I can eat a pack of multigrain bagels in one sitting- it must be the carb high, i just want more.

I don't generally overeat when I'm happy. So that must mean I use food as a clutch I guess.

i think it's also very complicated. Because I'm not too overweight (my weight is within a healthy range but I look a bt podgy, I'm not even bothered that much any more my body fat is about 34%!) I don't think I get massive amounts of support, I tell people and they laugh. If I say I don't want cakes, sugary cereals in the house, my husband says "well don't eat them little piggy" and laughs. I once put food in his car so I wouldn't eat it and although he let me, I knew he thought I was crazy and he laughed about it in front of friends and I get so ashamed.

A poster below (apologies for not referring to user names) said that if they let themselves, when stressed they would eat all day, honestly I would. If I am in the house all day I would every thing in it.

I once went round the supermarket crying - I'm serious - buying food to binge eat on, feeling ashamed.

I have tried over and over to let myself have small amounts of trigger foods and they always trigger. I think distraction has been the only thing that has worked oh and years ago being obsessive about being healthy made me mindful about everything I ate - which sounds unhealthy, but my weight was stable, and there was no under or over nourishment - but I was pretty obsessive. I also joined an intense pilates class for a week and for that week I didn't binge, I think because I was distracted and physically wasn't in the house to binge and motivated every day.

kuolo · April 2014

My husband has a similar response by the sounds of it, he just doesn't comprehend it. He bought an easter egg and I had to throw half of it away as I couldn't have it in the house after 2 days, it was driving me mad! And he laughed at me, but not in a nasty way though. I'm fortunate we don't normally keep any junk in the house - he has genetically high cholesterol so has to be super careful about his diet as an alternative to medicating - and neither of us really wants it to form part of our daily diet anyway.

Mangopickle · April 2014

Though I don't medicate with food anymore I still have trigger foods that I strongly avoid. Wheat, rice and potato are trigger foods for me. I have a 34 yr track record of being unable to portion control them. I can use small amounts 1/4 c of their flours in dishes when needed without any problem but they can't be the main ingredient. I have learned to replace what I can't control. I eat Farinata instead of pizza, I make chick pea crepes, I make gluten free bread, I choose cereals that I can portion control i.e. Fiber one protein. At a movie I have popcorn instead of nachos, probably same calories and both made of corn but nachos will bring on a carb binge. I never finish the small bag of popcorn. I avoid these foods to free my self from the horrible cravings they illicit. My life is so much better Not being obsessed with high glycemic carbs. I act like a normal person and treat food normally if I stay away from them. Good luck

terriveller · April 2014

I was the same way for years. 18 months ago when I started this journey I started a journal. I listed foods that usually got me in trouble. I also listed foods that while not necessarily good food for weight loss were foods I couldn't fathom completely living without. Short list included red wine, dark chocolate and cheesecake. I discovered after writing everything down that I had power over the food instead of the other way around. I enjoy the occasional indulgence but am starting to gain control of a lifetime of eating issues from anorexia in high school to compulsive overeating as adult and compensatory eating to hide issues I didnt want to deal with. I found writing it down helped me deal with the issue instead of bingeing. Good luck on your journey and I hope you find your answers.

craftywitch_63 · April 2014

There is an app called Takecontrol that allows you to log your emotions before bingeing.

Also, a program called "Pocket Hunger Coach" may help. It's free and is at http://www.pockethungercoach.com/timeout.asp

amatolauren · April 2014

omg i relate to this SOOO BAD! i wish i didnt do that as well, i printed this out so i can remind myself ..when i get there.

KaleeCat · April 2014

I think it's about teaching yourself (or beating it into yourself in my case) portion control, and learning to have a healthy relationship with food. It's a long battle, one I have everyday. Sometimes I win and sometimes I don't, but I keep trying, waking up everyday with a fresh start. Sometimes you may have to physically, out loud, tell yourself "No!" Which may sound silly, but it really can work

Feel free to add me, I don't have an open diary but am always there for motivation and support!

ETA: I also just started reading a book called "The End of Overeating" I've read some great reviews and so far I love the premise of the book! I encourage you to pick up a copy

Mangopickle · April 2014

In my previous post I forgot to tell you how I quit medicating with food. I fell in love.....with me. 100%, unreservedly as a 44 yr old obese woman. I began to see myself as God sees me. A miraculous and beloved creation. I began to take care of myself very tenderly. Previously I was very vicious in my thoughts about myself. God wants me to love as he loves...beginning with myself. How else can I love others if I don't love me? If any stress comes in my life I run to him for guidance. I go to Mass and confession... A lot. I can't believe the guilt I carried for so many years. If it is a rough week I can always hit Mass daily. Unlike food, God is calorie free, keeps your secrets and loves you back:). Food doesn't keep secrets, it drains your bank acct and packs fat on your butt for all to see. Looking back I can see that pleasure from food never lasted more than 5 minutes. The daily pleasure I receive now from life and my participation in it is difficult to enumerate. I completely forgave myself for being the scared little girl running from Life. I realized in order to fully live life you must deal with the crap that comes along with the wonderful. When death and destruction come into my life, I grieve, I cry, I pray, I deal, I don't eat. I embrace the horrible with fortitude and look for the fruits of Grace. Praying for the intercession of St Maximillian Kolbe on your behalf. I have found him an excellent champion when you are dealing with a binge. God bless

onmyown70 · April 2014

Thank you mango pickle. I am sure the weak willed me is partly a lacking sense of purpose, I and if I felt completely happy with myself I wonder if I would feel "tougher".

I can't really blame anyone else though, as I said it can even catch me by surprise, I just start eating and don't stop. As I said before, until I feel ill, and as I'm eating I'm thinking what next.

I think portion control is of course key, and I'm great at that if I am eating with others, but as soon s I'm stressed, or start eating the mmmmm foods, I go crazy, like I don't have a full feeling, I just eat and eat. As I said, I have self induced bulimia, I eat until I feel sick. I know it's mad but I wonder to be free of it, I wonder about banning it, just not allowing myself access. Just until I can get this under control. Ie not carrying cash around with me, not having foods I overeat in the house. It's not bringing out the best in me and I can't put my finger on why I do it except that at the start it feels great and I think get a high from food. It has nought to do with hunger.

I wish I could talk to you all prior to having a moment! I see it as being serious, when I'm driving frantically to get more food, or eating my son's muesli! yet when I have had a "normal eating" pattern (like other people) for a few days I think I'm normal I'm just being silly, then the voice comes..."just have a bit" you need the "b vitamins" "it's been a rough day, have some" "everyone else is having some" or it doesn't even require thought, if it's there I eat it - simples. I have to be honest with myself, every morning I go back into denial.

Mango pickle did you go to OA? I know they put things in a religious context..

Amotolauren, I'm sorry you relate to this too. It's rubbish isn't it... great at the time, but when I reflect back, I could have been playing with my child, instead I was in the kitchen stuffing my face, or feeling too sick to move.

I love the thought of maybe just getting involved in a sport but my knees are weak and I sometimes look t myself nd think "why bother' it's much easier to eat!

Advice? Loving food then sudden compulsive overeating

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