getting obsessed

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okay so. I find myself feeling guilty for eating anything, really. Even fruit or veg or like, eggs. Anything just makes me feel bad, and then I have to exercise it off... I don't eat back my exercise calories and I always think about food. I'm faint and dizzy half the time, I'm cold and I have no energy

I can't stop though. I'm still overweight though, so I figured it wasn't too bad, and I run about 100 miles a week plus other gym stuff, and zumba.
How can I go back to just monitoring in a healthy manner? I'm scared that when I hit goal weight I won't be able to enjoy food again - I've been avoiding people and places which might involve food.

Replies

  • taytaylynn3
    taytaylynn3 Posts: 601
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    I would say go talk to a doctor or someone who can help you get back on track. Sooner rather than later.
  • wonderwoman234
    wonderwoman234 Posts: 551 Member
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    Sounds like you are developing disordered eating. It is good you recognize it. I'd find a therapist who deals with eating issues.
  • HeatherYevette
    HeatherYevette Posts: 56 Member
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    This sounds like the beginnings of an eating disorder. I've been there. :( Please seek help to get you back on track to controlling these negative thoughts.

    Check out 'Orthorexia' ... it's what I suffered from.

    http://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/orthorexia-nervosa

    Do I Have Orthorexia?
    Consider the following questions. The more questions you respond “yes” to, the more likely you are dealing with orthorexia.
    Do you wish that occasionally you could just eat and not worry about food quality?
    Do you ever wish you could spend less time on food and more time living and loving?
    Does it seem beyond your ability to eat a meal prepared with love by someone else – one single meal – and not try to control what is served?
    Are you constantly looking for ways foods are unhealthy for you?
    Do love, joy, play and creativity take a back seat to following the perfect diet?
    Do you feel guilt or self-loathing when you stray from your diet?
    Do you feel in control when you stick to the “correct” diet?
    Have you put yourself on a nutritional pedestal and wonder how others can possibly eat the foods they eat? 

    With myself, I found myself deleting more and more foods from my 'safe/healthy' foods list and eventually I wouldn't be eating anything at all...

    I'm here if you ever want to talk.
  • budobo
    budobo Posts: 38
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    I think a nutritionist and possibly a psychiatrist may help you with how you're feeling.

    It sounds like you're developing an eating disorder, possibly from misguided self image or ideas you have about fitness/health/nutrition etc. Talking to someone about how you feel about these things may help you figure out what things are causing these feelings. Fear of weight gain, self image, etc.

    Discussing nutritional needs for your body may also help you get a more accurate understanding of how you should eat and exercise.

    Please recognize that anything that makes your body weak/dizzy is not healthful.

    Dieting is about making your body healthy and you happy. Not about your weight, not about your muscle tone. It is about feeling good, living with maximal physical comfort, and being happy. It's not about looking like you belong in a magazine.

    Food is a necessity of life, and never should eating something good for you, that helps you continue living, make you feel guilty.

    Try to refocus on doing what makes your body feel good, because in the end, that should be your goal in dieting.
  • cpdiminish
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    I'm thinking that most of the people on this site won't be equipped to deal with your concerns. But I do think it is a good sign that you recognize that you have a problem.

    I can tell you that the symptoms you are describing are related to malnutrition, so you are definitely doing more harm than good right now, no matter how much you weigh.

    You need to get tested for vitamin and mineral deficiencies. But just treating them won't help you long term. You'll also need to find a way to change your mindset. And while you are at the doctor's office, I'd ask him/her what they think the ideal weight would be for your body. Use that number for your goal weight rather than what you think you should weigh, which you already know can't be trusted as being a realistic number.
  • picklelou
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    Try to remember that as well as being delicious, food is fuel. You only get out of your body what you put in. You probably feel so tired and faint because you aren't giving your body the energy that needs to maintain all that exercise.

    Think like an Athlete or Dancer, not only do they train hard but they give their body what it needs to function at such a high level.

    It might be good for you to talk to a Doctor about your food concerns, and/or maybe a nutritionist to help you find your food/exercise balance so you can't start enjoying food again.
  • MarisaShickel
    MarisaShickel Posts: 31 Member
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    One doesn't have to be underweight to have an eating disorder, in fact they can be of average weight or overweight.

    It sounds like you're starting to develop some disordered thinking about eating which is leading to some unhealthy habits.

    It is really great that you recognize that what you're feeling and what you're doing aren't normal. Before things get worse you should start seeing a therapist who can help you work through what's happening. It might also be a good idea to see a nutritionist too to help you work on healthy eating habits. I highly suggest doing this sooner rather than later because the longer it goes on the worse it will get. It's best to start as early as possible.

    Best of luck to you!!
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
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    okay so. I find myself feeling guilty for eating anything, really. Even fruit or veg or like, eggs. Anything just makes me feel bad, and then I have to exercise it off... I don't eat back my exercise calories and I always think about food. I'm faint and dizzy half the time, I'm cold and I have no energy

    I can't stop though. I'm still overweight though, so I figured it wasn't too bad, and I run about 100 miles a week plus other gym stuff, and zumba.
    How can I go back to just monitoring in a healthy manner? I'm scared that when I hit goal weight I won't be able to enjoy food again - I've been avoiding people and places which might involve food.

    get off MFP and speak to a doctor.
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
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    you also have a goal weight of 100lbs, which is very light, even if you're short...
  • JonnyQwest
    JonnyQwest Posts: 174 Member
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    Realize if you are no longer feeling good and energized then whats the point? Start lifting weights, change up the routine, eat more to work harder in the gym, it will make you feel better physically and mentally. Obsession can be a good thing if used properly...but you have to know when to shut it of or change the focus of your obsession on something that is doing you good rather than harm......too much of anything is a bad thing.