Extremely disordered eating

lilacxoxo1
lilacxoxo1 Posts: 1
in Health and Weight Loss
I've battled with my weight for a very long time, since I was a child. I can't remember ever not being on some kind of 'diet' or eating a certain way. The summary is, when I was around 14 I went on my first 'successful' diet, where I dropped from around 165lbs to 135lbs in around 2-3 months. I did this by skipping breakfast and lunch, and just eating dinner - a normal dinner, whatever everyone else was having. I didn't count calories.

At this time I found it easy to stick to because I used to just not eat at school, by the time I got home from school it was only a couple hours till dinner so I just waited it out. Some days where I was out all day with friends I ate nothing all day at all except for a piece of fruit, and I felt almost 'proud' that I'd resisted temptation.

I was so happy to lose the weight, but ofc I hadn't learnt much about health/nutrition so I became pretty sick, I lost my hair, was constantly tired, ect ect.. I also wonder if it contributed to my later issues with depression and so on

For the next few years or so until I was around 19 I yoyo'd between 135 and 155, it was a constant struggle where if I ate 'normal' for one day, I'd literally be about 5lbs heavier the next day. (I'm not exaggerating at all!)

While I 'maintained' this range of weight, my diet was about 90% carbs with little to no fat, and barely any protein.
I was constantly trying to eat as little as possible, some days only around 200 calories of something like a piece of bread or some fruit.

On an average day I'd have maybe 1000 - 1400 calories, mostly carbs, completely snacks with no meals.. for an example, look at my diary for 9th November 2012 (when I was following this regime), constantly snacking on high carb/high sugar snacks with barely any nutrients.

When I hit 20 I'd completely had enough of feeling like crap so I read a lot of books/websites on nutrition and realised the importance of eating 'real' foods. I started having things like yoghurt with fruit and nuts for breakfast, a sandwich for lunch, and maybe an omelette or pasta for dinner. But I was so used to snacking constantly that I still mindlessly did that, and ofc I packed on weight like CRAAZY. Because I had got all my energy from snacks before, I had got away with eating crap foods, but on top of having 3 meals a day is obviously ridiculous.

I went from 145lbs to 165lbs, within a couple of weeks. I knew I could lose it if I dropped the meals I was eating but after a few months I was feeling so much better in terms of energy and mood so I was scared to feel so awful again. Since this time, I've been up as far as 182lbs and only down to around 158lbs but I feel like I am stuck in such a rut.

I feel like I've failed completely and all my hard work has gone to waste. At the moment I'm 170lbs and I am 5'6" tall so I want to be 130-140lbs but I feel like it is so impossible because of my relationship with food. Even after eating a meal I think about when I am next going to eat (due to my previous constant snacking habit). It's like I can't tell when I need food and when I don't. I also over analyse everything I eat, I feel extremely guilty if I eat any carbohydrates, even fruit, because I've read that it is bad for weight loss/insulin. At the moment I've upped my calories to between 1500 and 2000 just to maintain because I have been feeling so stressed out and I don't want to get into the 'Eat as little as possible then go mad after a few days and consume everything in sight' cycle. My health is so much better now in every aspect apart from the weight I really need to lose.

I also find it near impossible to lose weight unless my calories are reasonably low (1300), and unless I avoid white/refined carbs and junk food. As I've suffered digestion issues I can't really eat wheat, only occasionally, so I eat mostly paleo type foods with a little dairy.
However a lot of lower carb foods are high calories like omelettes and full fat yoghurt, so sometimes I finish lunch and I've nearly reached my daily limit?!

I realise this probably sounds like such a ramble but I have no idea how to go about losing the weight in a healthy way, which can cause me to think of food less often rather than constantly have it on my mind.

If anyone could offer any ideas, I would appreciate it so much.

Replies

  • bonoeuf
    bonoeuf Posts: 58 Member
    You will get many opinions all of which will tell you that it the best way to lose weight. I do not buy into the eat what you want as long as it fits your macros. Mainly because I find people will eat the old diet pushed by modern government as shown in the food triangle and not lose weight because they get very hungry and give in to eating high fat / carb combination comfort foods. I rarely eat more than 100g of carbs per day, the rest is protein and then fat. I train most days with some 35-40 minutes of cardio and then a heavy weight session. I would leave the cardio out completely but I need to be fit for work (fire fighter). I am never hungry as the higher protein and fat keep you full. I can work out and do at times a very physical job without getting over tired. I do have the odd cheat day every other week as I like a few beers or bottle of wine. I maintained on this way of eating for years without problem. I put weight on due to a heart attack and during my rehab fell off my bicycle and needed an operation on my shoulder (I felt sorry for myself and drank too much beer). I reduced my calories but with the same low-ish carb intake and I am loosing the weight steadily. I will not say this is the best way to go for everyone, it works well for me and has for many years. Eat as little processed food as you can, cook from scratch and weigh and track everything. Good nutrition comes from good food, added sugars, fats and salts hidden in processed foods are not good food. Nothing wrong with fat, sugar and salt, but you need to know it is there.

    You will not stop yo going with a quick fix, you need to look at a plan you can continue with for the rest of your life. Fast weight loss usually results in weight gain when you stop. Slow weight loss will be less painful to you and you will be more likely to stick with it.
    Plenty of folks on this site can stick to long term strict eating plans for long periods without problems. One size never fits all.
    Good luck
  • neandermagnon
    neandermagnon Posts: 7,436 Member
    you need to change your focus from trying to lose weight quickly, to focusing on long term success, i.e. never regaining the weight you lose. That comes from 1. losing the weight slowly.... the human body does not burn fat quickly. Rapid weight loss includes water weight and lean body mass (bone density and muscle mass) and losing these is bad for your health and slows your metabolism. You lose only 1-2lb of fat in a week, so you should aim to lose no more weight than this. 2. feeding your body properly.... to maintain lean body mass and not lose it, you need to eat plenty of protein and enough calories to fuel your body. A deficit is necessary for fat loss, but too big a deficit and you'll be losing more than just fat. Lack of protein leads to loss of lean mass even if you're not eating at a deficit... combine the two and you can say goodbye to lean body mass and hello to a slowed metabolism. 3. strength training - this plus eating an adequate amount of protein and calories is how you rebuild the lean mass you lost. It's not gone forever, you can get it back, and this will make you fitter, stronger and speed your metabolism again, and help your body to burn fat (so long as you're eating at a small, sensible deficit) and you'll look much better naked too.

    short term crash dieting (what you're doing when you're skipping meals and eating very low calories) has got you stuck in a yo-yo dieting cycle and that's actually worse for your health than being permanently obese is.

    This thread: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1080242-a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants will help you to find the right number of calories to eat for slow and sustainable fat loss, and also gives guidance on how to exercise so you can get back the lean mass you lost and get out of the cycle of yo-yo dieting.

    Yes I know it's slower and that seems like a bad thing.... but think of it this way.... when you lose the fat the healthy, slow way, then every lb of fat you lose you're kissing goodbye to that lb of fat forever. It is much, much easier to maintain a healthy weight and body composition after you lose fat this way, and so much less likely that you're going to gain it back again. And it's much better for your physical and mental health than being trapped in the yo-yo diet cycle.
  • Jestinia
    Jestinia Posts: 1,153 Member
    Just eating at night worked for you once, why not again? Have a giant 1200 calorie dinner and lose weight slowly but steadily. You can even combine it with low carb if you're able to shovel down that much meat at once. Or lower carb and have less meat and lots of veggies.
  • bonoeuf
    bonoeuf Posts: 58 Member
    Just eating at night worked for you once, why not again? Have a giant 1200 calorie dinner and lose weight slowly but steadily. You can even combine it with low carb if you're able to shovel down that much meat at once. Or lower carb and have less meat and lots of veggies.

    The op tried it and it did not work long term, she put all the weight back on. As the previous excellent post stated it leads to a yo yo cycle that is worse for the body than being obese. Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results is insanity, according to Einstein. Why would the results of doing the same thing for her be any different. She needs to change the way she looks at food. Change the attitude now while young and it can be easy for the rest of her life, or don't change and remain on a forum like this forever asking for help and getting ridiculous answers condoning moronic diets.
  • WBB55
    WBB55 Posts: 4,131 Member
    I just want to make sure you know this, you don't HAVE to eat "meals" if you don't want to. If you find that you can stick to an appropriate calorie deficit by "grazing" all day, then do it! But the thing is, for optimum health, they should be "healthy" grazing snacks that's "real" food. (I'm trying to use words that mean the same thing to both you and me.)

    100 calories of cottage cheese is real food
    100 calories of walnuts is real food
    75 calories of buttered roast carrots is real food
    200 calories of roasted chicken breast is real food
    25 calories of raw celery is real food

    If you like "snacking" as a lifestyle, make these foods up ahead of time in batches, then portion them out into grab-bags that you can "snack" on or pop in your purse to eat on the bus -- or whenever/however you like to "snack."

    But definitely track the food, to make sure you are getting enough protein and the good kinds of fats. And that you're eating enough calories overall. Probably at least 1200. But if you were my sister or mother, I'd tell you to eat at least 1400 every day.
  • blondageh
    blondageh Posts: 923 Member
    Keep snacking all day long, but reach for good things. Try to keep it within 200 calories each time 6-7 times a day and you will be right around your 1200-1400 calories. I make omelets ALL the time because they ARE low cal. I use Egg beaters, 2% cheese, low fat meats and veggies. So good and very filling. I am talking about fill up your plate and around 300 calories or less.
  • Jestinia
    Jestinia Posts: 1,153 Member
    Just eating at night worked for you once, why not again? Have a giant 1200 calorie dinner and lose weight slowly but steadily. You can even combine it with low carb if you're able to shovel down that much meat at once. Or lower carb and have less meat and lots of veggies.

    The op tried it and it did not work long term, she put all the weight back on. As the previous excellent post stated it leads to a yo yo cycle that is worse for the body than being obese. Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results is insanity, according to Einstein. Why would the results of doing the same thing for her be any different. She needs to change the way she looks at food. Change the attitude now while young and it can be easy for the rest of her life, or don't change and remain on a forum like this forever asking for help and getting ridiculous answers condoning moronic diets.

    Most people fall off track of everything weight loss related at some point or other, including the sensible moderation crowd. So why not try again?
  • ashandstuff
    ashandstuff Posts: 442 Member
    OP, maybe try seeing a nutritionist? I did back at the beginning of my weight loss efforts with MFP because of my bad relationship with food. He really helped me get the resources I needed to educate myself on nutrition and he even helped me seek out ways to change how I saw "fear foods."

    A professional opinion is worth the money, especially when it comes to your health!

    However, some nutritionists come off too aggressive or brash with disordered eating patients...it may take two or three tries before you find a nutritionist that clicks with you. I still highly recommend it.

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