So disgusted with myself

I can't even look at myself in the mirror anymore. My weight has exploded over the last year. (40lbs) I am 5ft 3 and my BMI is 29 .A month ago I cut all meat and dairy out of my diet. No fast foods, no sodas. I have been trying to understand the macrobiotic diet (yin yang). I am enjoying the diet itself, but am so discouraged by the scale. I'm thinking I should stop torturing myself and just throw the damn scale away. I will admit to my faults that my exercise input isn't anything to write home about. About a year ago my husband and I started a new business which has caused the weight gain. We are over the road truckers. Sitting all day, I swear I can feel my stomach exploding as each hour tics by. I am driving at 9 day intervals, so when I get home I get on the treadmill for about 35 mins every morning. I am down to one pair of pants, and even they are feeling uncomfortable. I was praying that this diet would be "life changing everything will be wonderful" I'm wrong. Can anyone help me get through this? Am I just not giving it enough time.? I eat miso soup, beans, lentils, grains and oats. Lots of veggies and water /green tea. I do eat fish cpl times a week No sweeties.. Any suggestions would be appreciated. I have a fairly thick skin so don't be scared to say I'm a lame *kitten*.
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Replies

  • nancybuss
    nancybuss Posts: 1,461 Member
    1) Its only been a month!
    2) You don't have to cut out beans, meats, etc.
    3) What is your actual Calorie intake?

    have you figured out your TDEE and BMR to know what calorie range you should eat at?

    I would assume you have to make stops at times. get out and Walk! 5 minutes here and there add up! If you can do 20-30 minutes at lunch - fantastic! I sit at a desk all day, that portion isn't much different! truck stops have plenty of opportunites to let you Move.

    give it time! You don't gain overnight and you won't lose overnight.

    Hang in there!!!!

    Feel free to friend me if you'd like.

    Nancy
  • Asherah29
    Asherah29 Posts: 354 Member
    With a caloric deficit you should be able to lose weight, even with such a sedentary job, but I wonder if there isn't some way to work in a bit of exercise when you aren't drive. (I am assuming here you and your husband ride together and switch off on driving shifts). Maybe you could bring some weights with you in the cab. There routines that you should be able to do while sitting. Anyway you can take an hour pause at a rest stop from time to time to get in a bit of a walk?
  • I feel the same way - but I found that the negative thoughts about myself and calling myself disgusting weren't the best way to deal with things.

    I also started a business a year and a half ago and put working out to the side and would often find myself running on fumes trying to build the business and make money - sleepless nights and stress = over eating and I gained about 40lbs. My BMI is high too.

    I just recently went for my annual check up and realized how much I actually weighed. It was frightening. I've been up and down the last 2 weeks. I'm down 7 but then it'll go up 5. It's weird. But my thought is. Do the best I can do each day. Take one day at a time. The work you put in will accumulate over time.

    It's just like if you were to save money. If you need $100 and save $1 a day of course it'll seem like forever until you reach $100. But each and every day it will accumulate. You will eventually reach that number it will just take time and discipline. If you fall off the wagon and say spend more that day - then maybe next week you have to compensate and save $2. It's the same with eating/dieting. Don't give up because of one bad day. Don't give up b/c of the scale. It's time that will help. If you stuck to eating well for 30 days and weighed yourself twice on day 1 and 30 you would lose. But if you weight yourself 30 times that month - each day - it will be an up and down up and down up and down ... it plays with your head.

    Just stay true to your plan. Eat well daily. Exercise 3x a week at least. And over time the weight will come off.

    Tara
  • sassyjae21
    sassyjae21 Posts: 1,217 Member
    Well you're definitely not a lame *kitten*.

    Weight loss can be difficult. I would suggest not making it any more complicated.

    I would start taking your measurements immediately. The scale doesn't always tell the whole story. You are in a tough situation, with work being on the road for 9 days. Are you able to take one or two days to prepare your foods for those days? Make sure you weigh everything and calculate everything when you prep. Why are you cutting out meat and dairy? Ethical/personal reasons? Rock on. But if you're doing it strictly for weight loss, it's really not necessary.

    And when did you start? If it was recent, sometimes it takes a while. Give it time. Be patient.
  • are you tracking your calories? Don't assume that because you are eating healthier that fruits and veggies don't have calories. Also keeping that in mind monitor portion control too, because it all adds up. If you are sitting for most of the day then you body isn't going to use as many calories to fuel itself. Try cutting 100-200 calories from your diet and though it will be slow, the weight will come off. I know it's frustrating but I learned the hard way that I would rather lose the weight slowly then lose it quickly and have a lot of health problems because of it. Just stay strong and be patient. In my case it took me 3 years to lose 50 lbs but those 50 lbs haven't even come close to coming back. I've gained a few but nothing near to that. So just remember you want results that are going to last.
  • Use the scale as a tool so weight doesnt creep back on but truthfully use a tape measure and see results that way. How are you eating on the road? I wouldl think that would be the most challenging. Make sure you are eating enough or your body may freak out and store everything you eat because it is not use to a reduction. Your body needs a certain amount of calories a day to maintain. Also when you are on the road when you stop for brief breaks walk/run around the truck or other quick exercises. Every little bit helps. Good Luck!
  • _lyndseybrooke_
    _lyndseybrooke_ Posts: 2,561 Member
    1. You don't need to cut anything out of your diet (meat, dairy, carbs, fat, etc.) in order to lose weight. No foods are the "enemy" here, and no foods are inherently bad. Meat didn't make you gain weight, eating at a caloric surplus made you gain weight.

    2. You don't need to exercise in order to lose weight. A lot of people are under the impression that exercise burns more calories than it actually does. Exercise is for your health and to make your body look good. Weight loss, however, happens in the kitchen, not in the gym.

    3. You didn't mention how long the scale has been stalled or even if it has been stalled at all. Are you gaining weight, not losing, or not losing fast enough for your liking? If you're gaining or maintaining your weight (and not lifting), you're eating too many calories. If you're not losing fast enough, it may be because you're expecting too much. You didn't put on the weight overnight,and you aren't going to lose it overnight.

    4. Excuses, cut it out. Your new job did not cause you to gain weight. Like I said, eating at a caloric surplus caused you to gain weight.

    5. Kick the word "diet" out of your vocabulary. Diets are temporary. If you want to take off the weight and keep it off, you need to look at this as a new way of eating that will stick even after the extra weight is gone. You shouldn't be doing anything now that you don't plan on doing for the rest of your life. This goes back to #1. If you cut meat just to lose weight and plan to eat meat again once you're thinner, that's a bad idea. Why not just eat real food that you enjoy, even if it's meat and dairy, but eat at a caloric deficit?

    6. Are you logging? Are you weighing/measuring all of your food? What is your daily calorie goal? Do you know your TDEE? Opening your diary would help, if there's anything in it. You can't complain that you're not losing weight if you're not doing the most basic step - weighing and logging your food. Guessing isn't going to cut it.
  • Mischievous_Rascal
    Mischievous_Rascal Posts: 1,791 Member
    1) Its only been a month!
    2) You don't have to cut out beans, meats, etc.
    3) What is your actual Calorie intake?

    have you figured out your TDEE and BMR to know what calorie range you should eat at?

    I would assume you have to make stops at times. get out and Walk! 5 minutes here and there add up! If you can do 20-30 minutes at lunch - fantastic! I sit at a desk all day, that portion isn't much different! truck stops have plenty of opportunites to let you Move.

    give it time! You don't gain overnight and you won't lose overnight.

    Hang in there!!!!

    Feel free to friend me if you'd like.

    Nancy

    Here's a good calculator that will get you in the ballpark of what your calorie needs are.

    http://scoobysworkshop.com/accurate-calorie-calculator/

    There is no miracle diet, and no need to cut out entire foods groups (other than for doctor diagnosed medical reasons, of course). A calorie deficit is all you need for weight loss. Exercise is good for you to improve your overall fitness and give you a calorie boost, so you can consume more food, so get it in whenever you can.

    And like a previous poster said, beating yourself up will only lead to more negativity. Be nice to yourself.
  • LuvDarkChocolate
    LuvDarkChocolate Posts: 145 Member
    I have been at this for a month. The decision to cut out meat was easy for me. I honestly just don't like meat, I never have. Even as a child my mother would try ram it down my mouth. It just made me sick. I don't like the smell. I am ok with no dairy as I figured it would be a good move to cut it out.
  • _lyndseybrooke_
    _lyndseybrooke_ Posts: 2,561 Member
    I have been at this for a month. The decision to cut out meat was easy for me. I honestly just don't like meat, I never have. Even as a child my mother would try ram it down my mouth. It just made me sick. I don't like the smell. I am ok with no dairy as I figured it would be a good move to cut it out.

    But why do you think it's a good idea to cut it out?
  • Jestinia
    Jestinia Posts: 1,153 Member
    You work long hours and long stretches of days at a tough, stressful job that doesn't leave much opportunity for exercise.

    Edit: Reading comprehension fail.
  • LuvDarkChocolate
    LuvDarkChocolate Posts: 145 Member
    I have started to pack some meals that will keep me going.....although when I see my husband chowing down burgers and junk food in general I wanna scream at him :))
  • nishass
    nishass Posts: 9 Member
    Took me a couple weeks when I started to actually see some weight come off...it was nothing, nothing, nothing and then one morning, 4 lbs gone, just like that. Different for everyone but stick with it. If you're feeling stronger, healthier, more energetic and more daring because of the workouts and eating better, then let that also motivate you even if the weight does not come off at first. If you don;t like meat that;s fine. For me it's a lifestyle change...not a diet. I still have the foods I love, just prepared healthier and sometimes just in smaller portions. I figure if i denied myself, I won't stick to it one bit. I need to be happy with this process.....so I tend to stick with what makes me happy when it comes to food and working out.
  • massivediet
    massivediet Posts: 54 Member
    2% or nonfat cottage cheese and greek yogurt are great protein sources that fill you up without a lot of calories, so I would definitely add in some dairy if you don't have any outside (ethical, allergy) reasons for cutting it. The stop early and take an hour walk advice is also great, as it will burn some calories as well as helping to reduce stress. Best of luck!
  • hikezilla
    hikezilla Posts: 174 Member
    I feel your pain. Really, it is very very frustrating at times, when you follow a diet plan, and you don't see much in the way of results. I must have instant gratification or I start to have doubts and lose interest. The good news is that you've been hanging in there for a long time and that tells me you have something a lot of us would fight for....and that is will power. So you have the internal motivation, it just wants to see some results and right now.

    You have some facts to gather. Go get a cloth measuring tape and right before you go to bed, measure your waist. Just your waist. Write it down. You're convinced you are exploding, you need to see the numbers...measure your waist once a week at the same time, right before you go to bed. If you are burning more than you are eating you will see it change....even if it is just a 1/4 inch, that is positive progress and they say low and slow is best way.

    Good luck!!

    Friend me if you'd like!
  • Jestinia
    Jestinia Posts: 1,153 Member
    I have started to pack some meals that will keep me going.....although when I see my husband chowing down burgers and junk food in general I wanna scream at him :))

    That was the part I read that my brain just decided to ignore, hence, my edit. :sad: But I still don't think you should be so hard on yourself. However, there must be a way to tweak your calories to achieve a deficit. Weigh, measure, pack meticulously, then get exercise smacking burgers out of your husband's hands?
  • LuvDarkChocolate
    LuvDarkChocolate Posts: 145 Member
    I have been at this for a month. The decision to cut out meat was easy for me. I honestly just don't like meat, I never have. Even as a child my mother would try ram it down my mouth. It just made me sick. I don't like the smell. I am ok with no dairy as I figured it would be a good move to cut it out.

    But why do you think it's a good idea to cut it out?

    Well I like rice milk. I have started to try greek yougurt....although it seems rich to me. I can't just chug a glass of milk down. What are your suggestions?
  • issa212
    issa212 Posts: 1
    There are so many reasons why people lost weight differently, metabolic rate, hormones...the only way to lose weight safely is to use more calories than you eat...obviously you know this. The food diary is a great tool to keep track of this. Like many of the other posts, try to find time when you can to fit in a quick walk, do butt squeezes as you drive :o)
    You might want to consult a physician too and have and overall physical done with bloodwork to check hormone levels and other possible health issues.
    I totally understand the feeling of "disgusted with myself" that is why I joined my fitness pal in the first place. Don't give up!
    Good luck!
  • VanessaRudden
    VanessaRudden Posts: 198 Member
    Just hang in there!
  • asciiqwerty
    asciiqwerty Posts: 565 Member
    1. You don't need to cut anything out of your diet (meat, dairy, carbs, fat, etc.) in order to lose weight. No foods are the "enemy" here, and no foods are inherently bad. Meat didn't make you gain weight, eating at a caloric surplus made you gain weight.

    2. You don't need to exercise in order to lose weight. A lot of people are under the impression that exercise burns more calories than it actually does. Exercise is for your health and to make your body look good. Weight loss, however, happens in the kitchen, not in the gym.

    3. You didn't mention how long the scale has been stalled or even if it has been stalled at all. Are you gaining weight, not losing, or not losing fast enough for your liking? If you're gaining or maintaining your weight (and not lifting), you're eating too many calories. If you're not losing fast enough, it may be because you're expecting too much. You didn't put on the weight overnight,and you aren't going to lose it overnight.

    4. Excuses, cut it out. Your new job did not cause you to gain weight. Like I said, eating at a caloric surplus caused you to gain weight.

    5. Kick the word "diet" out of your vocabulary. Diets are temporary. If you want to take off the weight and keep it off, you need to look at this as a new way of eating that will stick even after the extra weight is gone. You shouldn't be doing anything now that you don't plan on doing for the rest of your life. This goes back to #1. If you cut meat just to lose weight and plan to eat meat again once you're thinner, that's a bad idea. Why not just eat real food that you enjoy, even if it's meat and dairy, but eat at a caloric deficit?

    6. Are you logging? Are you weighing/measuring all of your food? What is your daily calorie goal? Do you know your TDEE? Opening your diary would help, if there's anything in it. You can't complain that you're not losing weight if you're not doing the most basic step - weighing and logging your food. Guessing isn't going to cut it.


    ^^^^^^^^ all of this

    it takes patience and dedication
    the key is being honest with yourself

    the best plan if to burn more than you consume (calories) > do more eat less
    you don't have to cut out any food group, in fact doing so can be problematic

    if the numbers don't add up, you're probably overestimating burn and underestimating consumption check out one of the great threads on logging accurately
  • LuvDarkChocolate
    LuvDarkChocolate Posts: 145 Member
    I feel your pain. Really, it is very very frustrating at times, when you follow a diet plan, and you don't see much in the way of results. I must have instant gratification or I start to have doubts and lose interest. The good news is that you've been hanging in there for a long time and that tells me you have something a lot of us would fight for....and that is will power. So you have the internal motivation, it just wants to see some results and right now.

    You have some facts to gather. Go get a cloth measuring tape and right before you go to bed, measure your waist. Just your waist. Write it down. You're convinced you are exploding, you need to see the numbers...measure your waist once a week at the same time, right before you go to bed. If you are burning more than you are eating you will see it change....even if it is just a 1/4 inch, that is positive progress and they say low and slow is best way.


    My waist was 34 now its 40

    Good luck!!

    Friend me if you'd like!
  • LuvDarkChocolate
    LuvDarkChocolate Posts: 145 Member
    I guess I was telling myself that with the changes I was making that I was going in the right direction. Thank you everyone for all of your suggestions.
  • mzco14
    mzco14 Posts: 91 Member
    I'm not perfect but I think you may need help understand MFP. You don't have to cut out everything. Are you eating enough? Are you hitting your target #'s? Maybe you should start over and follow the guidelines- they really do work. Best of luck to you !!
  • edack72
    edack72 Posts: 173 Member
    Wow that is a tough lifestyle , I am always the person who says you can always find time to exercise but trucking , maybe you can turn your cab into a gym of sorts and start a whole new trend....I feel your pain man this is a hard journey and never easy I have been onn and off the weight loss bandwagon for many years and find its my lack of will power to stick to anything .....i do enjoy exercise and I am luck enough to have a schedule that leaves no room for excuses...GOOD LUCK to you ...keep on trucking
  • athenaheim
    athenaheim Posts: 496 Member
    One thing I have been told is that you cant do the same thing everyday. After doing the same thing for so long your body gets used to it. Try stepping it up on the treadmill raise the incline level a little bit. As for the eating situation try eating in low sodium. Dont completely cut out your meats or beans. Sodium adds water weight. Good luck and keep your head up.
  • RaeLB
    RaeLB Posts: 1,216 Member
    As much as I'm an advocate for a vegan diet (for ethical reasons), losing weight is all about a calorie deficit.

    Calculate your TDEE and eat a 15-20% deficit.
    Weigh your food so you can log it accurately.
    Eat lots of protein (plant sources: lentils, beans, chickpeas, greens, tofu, etc).
    Take measurements of your body and track your progress this way, not by the scale only.
  • LuvDarkChocolate
    LuvDarkChocolate Posts: 145 Member
    I do eat beans, lentils and grains. I'm not sure how I might have mis quoted there. Sorry about that.
  • Legals81
    Legals81 Posts: 81 Member
    Weight loss is really difficult (unfortunately) and it is hard to stay motivated. I'm on here most days if you want to add me as a friend. No magic answer but support if you want it :-)
  • bcattoes
    bcattoes Posts: 17,299 Member
    I followed the macrobiotic diet for a while years ago. It is a very healthy way to live, but it's important to remember that the diet is not a weight loss diet specifically. It's a way of eating for health and being in tune with your body and surroundings. You still must keep a calorie deficit if you want to lose weight. Though I will say that I found it really easy to keep a deficit eating this way, but I also found the diet hard to maintain after a while as it was so different from the way I was used to eating, though I do still use some of the principals.

    A sedentary job, be it trucking or sitting at a desk, can make losing difficult. Try to work little bits of exercise into your day. Maybe carry some resistance bands or a jump rope with you when you drive. And don't expect to lose the weight quickly. Just be patient.