Need to get my boyfriend's support!

You can only work on you.

You can try to involve him in activities. Suggest things to do together to get you outside & moving. Go to an amusement park rather than a movie, for example. But ultimately he's an adult and responsible for himself.

You can:

A) Leave him alone and accept the fact that he isn't ready/doesn't want to.

or

Nag him enough that he wants to move out.

Tread carefully.

If he's fine with the way he is but you aren't fine with it, your first reaction should not be to try and figure out how to motivate him to change. Your first reaction should be to decide how much you weight (no pun intended) you want put on caring about his body.

You can put it under the guise of being worried all you want, but there's obese and then there's *obese*. I don't know what his stats are and I don't want to, but at 5'9" and 205lbs I was considered obese. But if I told anyone that they all called me crazy. And it's not like I'm all muscle. My BF is in the 24% range.

How worried are you really. and how much do you just want to him to do what you want him to do? If anything, nag him for regular medical check ups. At least you have a leg to stand on there. Even fit people should have preventative check ups. If he doesn't want to do something, don't press it.

Focus on your health because that's all you have control over.

I'm in a similar situation! We used to be in much better shape, but we bought a house (an incredibly stressful and time consuming process all of its own) and now we don't live around the corner from our gym anymore, and my boyfriend is now driving instead of walking to work (I still bike commute). My boyfriend wants to lose weight, but he lacks the motivation, and I can't give it to him. I'm trying to focus on myself, and maybe lead by example. I try to be clear with him about what I need to do, so if he suggests something unhealthy for dinner, I'll say "You can eat that, but I don't have enough calories left today, so I'm going to eat something else," or "Tomorrow I'm going for a run, so I can plan ahead and have enough calories tomorrow night, but I can't eat it today". I keep things positive and non-accusatory.
Sometimes he gets annoyed that I get home much later because I go to the gym after work, but I try to make it clear that this is a priority for me, and that if wants to go to the gym together, we could work out a new schedule of going together after dinner or something. So far he hasn't taken me up on it, but I can only do what's best for me, and try to be supportive of him in whatever steps he does choose to take.

OP, have you actually discussed wanting to get healthier with him? Not focusing on weight, but on healthier eating so you can live longer, and assuming you two plan on having a future together, being around for each other for many more years (maybe even being there for your kids?)

I agree that continuing to talk about it is like beating a dead horse and you'll likely get more of a negative response to that than the changes you'd like to see. You're both adults - if you choose to be healthier, that's on you and there is no need for him to change. That doesn't mean he's being unsupportive either - it drives me nuts when people say that (sorry, pet peeve). My husband didn't want to change his eating habits or start exercising either but he's still one of my biggest supporters - encourages me to go for a walk/run when I want to be lazy, brags to eveyrone about my weight loss and fitness accomplishments, etc.

How about approaching it from a financial point of view. Making your own meals might not save a ton of money over fast food (as it's pretty cheap) but if you plan just right and budget, there would be enough of an impact over time. Sometimes that can save me from temptations - say I've planned to make chicken for dinner and it's all thawed out in the fridge. If Hubby wants to order pizza, I can say "sorry, I need to cook this chicken up, how about we have pizza tomorrow" and then I can budget my calories for a splurge. Sometimes I can even put pizza off for 2-3 days if I've planned that far in advance and have food that needs to be cooked or it'll go to waste.

As far as what you make - if he wants convenience, find things to make that don't take much time or even go with a lot of crock pot meals so they're ready as soon as you get home. There are tons of options out there for meals that take 30 minutes or less. And if he's just not a fan of "healthy", there are some good middle ground alternatives. We don't like ground turkey so I get the leanest ground beef I can. Hubs used to think low cal or low fat foods tasted awful (mostly a mental thing) so I'd hide the packages until he got used to them and if he balked once he saw them, I'd let him know he'd been eating that for months and never complained so obviously it's not that bad. And now he actually brags about how we're much healthier than we used to be. So, as with most changes, you may need to be patient and give it some time.

Good luck figuring it out!

I have this issue too! Although my boyfriend is not overweight, he is underweight.. but eats so much bad food its unreal. He eats at totally the wrong times of the day aswell. I think he probably eats at least 3000 calories a day, 2500 of them probably being eaten after 2.30 3ish.

He wants to cook meals with full fat cream, full fat cheese.. everything full fat. He's happy with mcdonalds and never wants to work out with me.

It's so hard to stay motivated when he isn't. Also when we met he had the outline of a 6pack, now its a little pot belly!!

I think he probably eats at least 3000 calories a day, 2500 of them probably being eaten after 2.30 3ish.

He wants to cook meals with full fat cream, full fat cheese.. everything full fat. He's happy with mcdonalds and never wants to work out with me.

You say all that as if it were necessarily a bad thing.

When he wants to he'll join you. But I can tell you right now, if you try to force him, it aint going to happen. Most likely you have other things you've tried to "change". You can't change a person into who you want to date. They have to want to change themself, if they do change for you, just for you, they'll resent you later, and you'll be all alone.

So just accept him for the way he is, or find a different boyfriend you don't have to change.

I can't sympathize more. I'm in almost the exact same position! Both my boyfriend and I had lost about 25lbs when we met, but we got very comfortable with each other as our relationship grew. I still had a ways to go before I hit my goal weight, but it all went out the window with fun dates and lots of shared food. I gained back the 25lbs that I lost, and he gained a whopping 50lbs.

About a month ago, I decided to recommit to my healthier lifestyle. I've lost almost 15lbs since then. I had hoped that my success would inspire him to get fit again, but all he does is talk about how much he wants to. Ultimately, I know that he has to make the decision to change, but it's hard to stand by while he treats his body like garbage and continues to pack on the pounds (he's acquired a FULL beer belly).

I think all I can do for now is to be ultra-supportive when he does make a healthy choice. Like puppies, most men do well with positive reinforcement. I also make an effort to cook healthy meals when he comes over and I don't keep any of my "splurge" foods in the house.

Good luck, I know how hard it is to support your own goals AND motivate someone else! Feel free to add me if you like.

This kind of support is better off coming from friends and family, not a romantic partner. Opposites attract, remember?