Gym - Life Balance

farmers_daughter
farmers_daughter Posts: 1,632 Member
in Fitness and Exercise
Sooo....this is kind of a rant, and I suppose Im somewhat asking for opinions (that are related to the topic)

I've been going to a private gym, a bootcamp as the owner/trainer calls it, for 4 months or so now. I was going 1x per week, due to some kid activites and such going on, then after that was done I upped it to twice and now it's 2-3 times per week. The bootcamp has always been a come as you can, and catch up with everyone.This has been wonderful to balance as I'm a single mom. I do it all. I have zero family.

So, here the last week or so she's structured the days to MWF we do cardio, and Tu is Weights, Th is Core. Great, I can make Tuesdays and Thursdays work out great and maybe a Monday or so.

Well this Monday I missed because of a kid event. But I was super siked for Weightlifting, my fav. I do well at it. And she's all like nope can't do weight lifting until you do what everyone did on Monday? And I said Ok, so then will I get to weight lift on Thursday when I'm here, nope that's core, but if you miss cardio you have to make it up.

So essentially I'm doing two days in one.

Um. I get it. She wants to see results. But um friggin hello???
1 - I'm paying her for the use of her knowledge and equipment,
2 *kitten* You.

I do cardio at home, I dance, not just piddly I'm just as sweaty and out of breath at home as I am doing the things I can't do that she calls cardio.

It just pisses me off that she's essentially picking on me because I'm not like the women in there without kids. They have the ability to make themselves a priority. Just when I found a good balance. Now I feel like I'm being shamed because I can't go 5 days a week.

I was enjoying going, and now I dont know if I want to go back. I know I will becuase I have to but there's not that element of "fun" that motivated me before. I will resent it and Ugh.

I don't want to find another gym, becuase part of my motivation is my friends go there.

I'm just super pissed that I have to feel like becuase I have kids and responsibilites I'm not good enough. I love her to death and I'll figure this out but dang it.

Replies

  • wolfsbayne
    wolfsbayne Posts: 3,116 Member
    :flowerforyou: I can understand your frustration. I really don't have any advice, but I'm just here to say that I'm sorry.
  • thepetiterunner
    thepetiterunner Posts: 1,238 Member
    Have you had a conversation with her? You might want to if you enjoy the gym and want to stay there. Otherwise, might be time to break up with this gym and find one that's not so hard core about missing a single fitness class. Life happens. They should understand that.
  • likitisplit
    likitisplit Posts: 9,420 Member
    TELL HER THIS. Have your trainer help you figure it out.

    Say, "Hey, I really look forward to coming here three days a week. I'm a single mom and I do everything I can to make it. I was really disappointed that I wasn't able to weights as I'd made sure to do the cardio in when I wasn't able to come on Monday.

    I'm not going to be able to make it for every session because I'm all I've got and sometimes something's got to give - and my kid is always going to be my first priority. I was really able to make it work when the sessions were more drop-in, but I also enjoy the structure now.

    How can we make this work for me? I'm perfectly willing to put the time and effort in even when I can't always make it to class."
  • parkscs
    parkscs Posts: 1,639 Member
    I wouldn't jump straight to "she's shaming me!" Why not try talking to her about your goals and explain you need to get at least one day of weight training in per week at the gym? Some trainers have a style where they try to push you out of your comfort zone to do things you don't want to do (but know you should do), and she may think cardio is what you "should" do for your goals (as she understands them). But with that said, any good trainer will work to accommodate your goals, rather than just try to force you into a scripted program. If not, find a new gym.
  • _HeartsOnFire_
    _HeartsOnFire_ Posts: 5,304 Member
    TELL HER THIS. Have your trainer help you figure it out.

    Say, "Hey, I really look forward to coming here three days a week. I'm a single mom and I do everything I can to make it. I was really disappointed that I wasn't able to weights as I'd made sure to do the cardio in when I wasn't able to come on Monday.

    I'm not going to be able to make it for every session because I'm all I've got and sometimes something's got to give - and my kid is always going to be my first priority. I was really able to make it work when the sessions were more drop-in, but I also enjoy the structure now.

    How can we make this work for me? I'm perfectly willing to put the time and effort in even when I can't always make it to class."

    This!
  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member
    TELL HER THIS. Have your trainer help you figure it out.

    Say, "Hey, I really look forward to coming here three days a week. I'm a single mom and I do everything I can to make it. I was really disappointed that I wasn't able to weights as I'd made sure to do the cardio in when I wasn't able to come on Monday.

    I'm not going to be able to make it for every session because I'm all I've got and sometimes something's got to give - and my kid is always going to be my first priority. I was really able to make it work when the sessions were more drop-in, but I also enjoy the structure now.

    How can we make this work for me? I'm perfectly willing to put the time and effort in even when I can't always make it to class."

    this.

    I got to dance class several times a week- sometimes I make it- sometimes I don't. Sometime I have other obligations- the program moves on regardless of if I'm there. The program keeps running and I don't do "make up" things (unless it's a specific thing that requires that but that's rare)

    I do NOT understand why you would have to make up- you show up- you do the work that's being offered that day- it's not home work.

    I would not say she's "picking" on you or shaming you- but I do think her stance of well you missed X workout so you have to do X before Y is just stupid. You're body doesn't give a rat's *kitten* when you do which work out as long as you are doing an effing work out.

    I'd definitely address it- and be prepared to move on. She sounds unreasonable- but if you like it and can come to a compromise then go for it.
  • kimad
    kimad Posts: 3,010 Member
    WOW!!

    Unless there is a rule book somewhere that says you can't do this, unless you have done this -- who is she to say what you can and can't do?

    I would possibly talk to her first and let her know that family comes first and you do the best you can, otherwise it may be time for a new gym.

    The ladies at my gym are just happy we show up!
  • farmers_daughter
    farmers_daughter Posts: 1,632 Member
    Ahhh!!! And then she wasnt there tonight!!! Oy
  • Walters2487
    Walters2487 Posts: 2 Member
    Sounds like a really bad business woman. Its not supposed to be stressful. I would consider another gym
  • likitisplit
    likitisplit Posts: 9,420 Member
    Ahhh!!! And then she wasnt there tonight!!! Oy

    I'm so excited that you are working out three days a week. Yee haw!
  • astronomicals
    astronomicals Posts: 1,537 Member
    Tell that see you next tuesday that youre lifting when you see her next tuesday.

    ::takes a bow::
  • ME0172
    ME0172 Posts: 200
    Talk to her like everyone else suggests. Then if she doesn't get it I'd leave. I know you want to workout with your friends, but if the trainer isn't actually supporting you working out then go somewhere else and spend your money on someone that can keep you motivated. You're not going to stay motivated if your trainer isn't willing to work with you. Good luck! And stick with it. :)
  • geebusuk
    geebusuk Posts: 3,348 Member
    First off, yes, I'd be telling her.

    Then; I'd not be doing "weight lifting" in a class scenario (the vast majority ends up being more cardio than weights from what I've seen, though not always, to be fair) - get yourself some weights at home if you've got the space.
    Doesn't cost much at all the basics secondhand and you can do them when you want, getting other stuff done between sets etc.
  • astronomicals
    astronomicals Posts: 1,537 Member
    Tell that see you next tuesday that youre lifting when you see her next tuesday.

    ::takes a bow::


    really?? nothing?? i get nothing for this gem?

    FMFP
  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member
    Tell that see you next tuesday that youre lifting when you see her next tuesday.

    ::takes a bow::


    really?? nothing?? i get nothing for this gem?

    FMFP

    tell that you see next Tuesday is confusing- it's not a sentence. I think I get what you're saying- but the grammar isn't particularly good- or it's missing some punctuation or something.
  • scraver2003
    scraver2003 Posts: 526 Member
    Tell that see you next tuesday that youre lifting when you see her next tuesday.

    ::takes a bow::


    really?? nothing?? i get nothing for this gem?

    FMFP

    tell that you see next Tuesday is confusing- it's not a sentence. I think I get what you're saying- but the grammar isn't particularly good- or it's missing some punctuation or something.

    I get it.

    C U Next Tuesday.
  • VegasFit
    VegasFit Posts: 1,232 Member
    That BS. Does she not want your business anymore? I belong to a group class that meets Monday through Thursday at 6 am. Due to work I can only go Tuesday and Thursday. It's also set up with a different focus each day. I don't make up the other days and I still feel like a get a good workout the two days I go. I would start looking for another gym if the trainer was singling me out like that and I felt uncomfortable.
  • FancyPantsFran
    FancyPantsFran Posts: 3,687 Member
    Tell her how you feel. If she is still being a b**ch then roll out to another gym. You are paying good money to be there and you wont be motivated to go anymore with her attitude
  • 50racinggirl
    50racinggirl Posts: 96 Member
    Sounds like a really bad business woman. Its not supposed to be stressful. I would consider another gym

    Yep, time to try something else.
  • Strokingdiction
    Strokingdiction Posts: 1,164 Member
    I'd go with your #2 and find yourself a new place.
  • knitapeace
    knitapeace Posts: 1,013 Member
    I hope you're not locked into a contract or anything? Because this sounds like the kind of workout schedule that's more geared to a leisure-class type clientele. It sounds like she expects the members to be there 5 days a week. If you can back out, do it. And let her know (by email if you're non-confrontational like me) that the schedule doesn't meet your needs. There are way too many options out there for you to be giving her your money for making you feel like crap.
  • BuckTheBMI
    BuckTheBMI Posts: 106 Member
    Can you talk to her about how she is making you feel and see if there is some middle ground you guys can agree on? If not I would find somewhere else to spend your hard earned, and limited, resources. Sometimes the only way to show, and make someone feel, your displeasure is to hit them in the pocketbook.

    3LB
  • BuckTheBMI
    BuckTheBMI Posts: 106 Member
    I remember the one time my wife sent me in to talk to my daughter's Tae Kwon Do instructor (a something degree blackbelt with an undefeated full contact tournament record) about how she felt he disrespected her. It was awkward... but less awkward than going there several times a week and wanting to say something.
  • BuckTheBMI
    BuckTheBMI Posts: 106 Member
    ... and I say unlimited resources assuming you aren't independently wealthy... which maybe untrue. But, if you are wealthy I would just hire a private trainer :)

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