Dieting for 15 years and fed up with it. Support needed

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whispernikki
whispernikki Posts: 6
in Motivation and Support
I'm almost 40 and I've been dieting for almost 15 years.
I go to weight loss classes lose about 10lbs and lose all motivation and then pile on the weight, my weight has been up down, I've had the worst 10 years of my life with my ex husband and soon to be 40 and tbh I don't want to be spending the next 10 years dieting.
I'm looking for some motivation, someone who is struggling like me.
I am now feeling more serious about this and I want to kick this fatty *kitten* lol.
I'm looking to lose 3 stone. I'm currently 14 stone 13lbs

My friend wants me to do the 5.2 diet but I've tried and I hate it tbh
I would rather eat normal but healthy.

I'm new to the my fitness pal and hoping I can find some lovely people to talk to and support too :)
Many thanks for reading

Replies

  • Widadita
    Widadita Posts: 176 Member
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    Diets suck!! You just have to embrace a healthy lifestyle, healthy choices and that's it.
  • neandermagnon
    neandermagnon Posts: 7,436 Member
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    you need to aim for long term success,.. set your calorie goal to lose1lb a week, weigh your food and eat that number of calories (weighing is more accurate) and also find some kind of exercise you enjoy and will stick to long term, log it and eat back 80% of the calories.

    Don't make it too difficult. This method is to lose weight slowly.... it takes longer to get there but you have more chance of staying there for life when you do.

    You can eat what you like, i.e. no forbidden foods.... but just make sure you're getting enough protein, carbs, fat, vitamins, minerals, fibre and water.... and when you've included all those things the rest of your calorie allowance can come from wahtever you like. Aiming for slow fat loss means you can eat more in a day so you feel satisfied and not deprived and have room to include all the foods you want to eat, albeit in smaller portion sizes.

    Reward yourself for sticking with this long term, i.e. 1 week, 2 week 3 week 6 week 3 month etc goals, i.e. reward yourself for sticking with the above for this long each time... by the time you get that far it should be a habit and very easy to stick to. and because you're not torturing yourself with a very restrictive diet, that also makes it much easier. It'll take you that much longer to get to goal.... but you have a much better chance of sticking with it permanently that it doesn't matter... think of it more like that although the lbs are coming off slowly, they're coming off permanently.
  • BrainyBurro
    BrainyBurro Posts: 6,129 Member
    Options
    stop following fads and gimmicks.

    ignore all the BS you hear from magazines and TV shows and your facebook friends.

    punch in the face anybody who tells you that you have to eliminate whole classifications of food from your diet.

    learn the simple math of weight loss.

    track your calories and macros accurately.

    eat a varied diet.

    be patient.

    stop weighing yourself every day.

    don't beat yourself up for not being perfect every day.

    weight loss is really simple actually. changing your mindset is what's hard.

    you can start with this... http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1080242-a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants

    and finally, just do it. no excuses.
  • stephe1987
    stephe1987 Posts: 406 Member
    Options
    No more "diets" just use portion control. Be aware of how much you're eating (a lot of people get seconds or thirds of their favorite foods and that adds up quickly, not to mention high-calorie desserts and huge portions at restaurants). And be sure to exercise most days a week. It burns calories, builds muscle, and improves overall health.

    You need to focus on building habits that you can continue in the long term. Diets often require people completely cutting out certain foods, which will not only make someone want to binge as soon as they're done, but the weight comes off too quickly, which means the dieter will likely gain the weight back and then some.
  • whispernikki
    whispernikki Posts: 6
    Options
    Does everyone use the my fitness pal app to track everything?
    My pal is set at 1780 cal but I find that too many cals .
    How should I set my pal for me? I'm not sure I know what I'm doing..

    Many thanks for all the replies.
  • KarenJanine
    KarenJanine Posts: 3,497 Member
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    I came from a 15 year background of yo-yo dieting so I can understand your frustration. I found great help from the Eat More to Weight Less group, and the In Place of a Road Map group.
    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/groups/home/3817-eat-more-to-weigh-less
    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/groups/home/8017-in-place-of-a-road-map

    I would advise reading the infomation in these groups and learning about BMR, TDEE and what they mean.

    I have learned that being hungry and deprived is not necessary. I now understand what my body needs in terms of energy and macro requirements and know how to make small changes in these to adjust my weight in a healthy and sustainable fashion.

    I also learned about the importance of strength training and the numerous benefits it has in terms of muscle preservation, fat loss and improving bone health.

    I made the step to stop my yo-yo dieting nearly 2 years ago and I now feel confident that I will never diet again.
  • PRguez
    PRguez Posts: 61 Member
    Options
    Please forget DIETS = DEVIL

    I have seen my mother straggling the last 20 years trying all sort of diets and... failing. Putting back all the weight in one go every time she stopped one of those for a break. It makes your body go to starvation mode and when you stop it you gain it all again. It is actually the worst thing you could do to yourself. It made me sad to watch her suffer.

    Go for a healthy eating & exercise. The rest will come along little by little. I think that is the best any of us could do.


    I am not loosing a lot or have been in diets but feel free to add me for support & 'gently pushes of encouragement' :happy:
  • whispernikki
    whispernikki Posts: 6
    Options
    stop following fads and gimmicks.

    ignore all the BS you hear from magazines and TV shows and your facebook friends.

    punch in the face anybody who tells you that you have to eliminate whole classifications of food from your diet.

    learn the simple math of weight loss.

    track your calories and macros accurately.

    eat a varied diet.

    be patient.

    stop weighing yourself every day.

    don't beat yourself up for not being perfect every day.

    weight loss is really simple actually. changing your mindset is what's hard.

    you can start with this... http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1080242-a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants

    and finally, just do it. no excuses.

    Yes will agree with the mind set there.
  • whispernikki
    whispernikki Posts: 6
    Options
    Please forget DIETS = DEVIL

    I have seen my mother straggling the last 20 years trying all sort of diets and... failing. Putting back all the weight in one go every time she stopped one of those for a break. It makes your body go to starvation mode and when you stop it you gain it all again. It is actually the worst thing you could do to yourself. It made me sad to watch her suffer.

    Go for a healthy eating & exercise. The rest will come along little by little. I think that is the best any of us could do.


    I am not loosing a lot or have been in diets but feel free to add me for support & 'gently pushes of encouragement' :happy:

    Many thanks how do I add?
  • KarenJanine
    KarenJanine Posts: 3,497 Member
    Options
    Does everyone use the my fitness pal app to track everything?
    My pal is set at 1780 cal but I find that too many cals .
    How should I set my pal for me? I'm not sure I know what I'm doing..

    Many thanks for all the replies.

    Set MFP to lose just 0.5 lb or 1lb per week. This is healthy and sustainable and will give you a calorie allowance that you should find easy to stick to.

    When you exercise, eat back exercise calories - this may seem illogical at first but MFP has calculated your allowance so that you will lose weight even when you are sedentary.

    Be totally honest with what you are eating and weigh, measure and log EVERYTHING you eat. The small things here and there can really add up and make a difference.
  • amylg05
    amylg05 Posts: 89 Member
    Options
    stop following fads and gimmicks.

    ignore all the BS you hear from magazines and TV shows and your facebook friends.

    punch in the face anybody who tells you that you have to eliminate whole classifications of food from your diet.

    learn the simple math of weight loss.

    track your calories and macros accurately.

    eat a varied diet.

    be patient.

    stop weighing yourself every day.

    don't beat yourself up for not being perfect every day.

    weight loss is really simple actually. changing your mindset is what's hard.

    you can start with this... http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1080242-a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants

    and finally, just do it. no excuses.

    This, pretty much. Everyone always says that healthy eating and exercise are the best ways to lose weight, I was always too lazy to do this and would much rather of tried a fad 'miracle' diet! But...since I have been healthy eating and exercising, the weights been coming off and I am now seeing this as just my lifestyle now, not a diet at all! Because diet suggests its just a temporary thing, soon as you accept it as a healthy way of life it gets easier and you start to resent it less and enjoy the benefits! Feel free to add me :>
  • neandermagnon
    neandermagnon Posts: 7,436 Member
    Options
    Does everyone use the my fitness pal app to track everything?
    My pal is set at 1780 cal but I find that too many cals .
    How should I set my pal for me? I'm not sure I know what I'm doing..

    Many thanks for all the replies.

    most people do, but not everyone on here does

    and no that's not too many cals... but the fact that you said that, well maybe that's why you haven't succeeded long term in the past. People get trapped in this idea that you have to eat very little and lose weight quickly... you don't. You'll be surprised at how much you can actually eat and still lose weight slowly, especially if you exercise as well.


    If you're not sure if it's all set up right, then follow the link that Brainy Burro posted for the "guide to sexypants" - it may seem complicated at first but it really does work, and it's the key to healthy fat loss and long term maintenance and getting out of the yo-yo diet cycle. And to eating more and still, slowly, losing weight.
  • smantha32
    smantha32 Posts: 6,990 Member
    Options
    Does everyone use the my fitness pal app to track everything?
    My pal is set at 1780 cal but I find that too many cals .
    How should I set my pal for me? I'm not sure I know what I'm doing..

    Many thanks for all the replies.

    I do.. using the phone makes it super easy to track when I'm away from my PC.
  • smantha32
    smantha32 Posts: 6,990 Member
    Options
    Does everyone use the my fitness pal app to track everything?
    My pal is set at 1780 cal but I find that too many cals .
    How should I set my pal for me? I'm not sure I know what I'm doing..

    Many thanks for all the replies.

    most people do, but not everyone on here does

    and no that's not too many cals... but the fact that you said that, well maybe that's why you haven't succeeded long term in the past. People get trapped in this idea that you have to eat very little and lose weight quickly... you don't. You'll be surprised at how much you can actually eat and still lose weight slowly, especially if you exercise as well.

    Everyone is different though. If I eat over 1500 I won't lose. 1800 is maintenance for me.
    You have to try something for awhile and then tweak it if it's not working.
  • jim180155
    jim180155 Posts: 769 Member
    Options
    you need to aim for long term success,.. set your calorie goal to lose1lb a week, weigh your food and eat that number of calories (weighing is more accurate) and also find some kind of exercise you enjoy and will stick to long term, log it and eat back 80% of the calories.

    Don't make it too difficult. This method is to lose weight slowly.... it takes longer to get there but you have more chance of staying there for life when you do.

    You can eat what you like, i.e. no forbidden foods.... but just make sure you're getting enough protein, carbs, fat, vitamins, minerals, fibre and water.... and when you've included all those things the rest of your calorie allowance can come from wahtever you like. Aiming for slow fat loss means you can eat more in a day so you feel satisfied and not deprived and have room to include all the foods you want to eat, albeit in smaller portion sizes.

    Reward yourself for sticking with this long term, i.e. 1 week, 2 week 3 week 6 week 3 month etc goals, i.e. reward yourself for sticking with the above for this long each time... by the time you get that far it should be a habit and very easy to stick to. and because you're not torturing yourself with a very restrictive diet, that also makes it much easier. It'll take you that much longer to get to goal.... but you have a much better chance of sticking with it permanently that it doesn't matter... think of it more like that although the lbs are coming off slowly, they're coming off permanently.

    I think this is probably the perfect approach for long term success, with the possible exception of eating back 80% of exercise calories. A lot of people here have different approaches to that part of it, and I'm guessing that's because it's so hard to put exact numbers on burned calorie estimates. Some eat back all exercise calories, some 50%, some none. Personally, I try to eat back all but 200 to 300 of my exercise calories (with some days when I wolf down every last calorie allowed).

    Follow neandermagnon's advice and you won't have to diet ever again.
  • soozy_q
    soozy_q Posts: 56 Member
    Options
    I had been dieting for years, was 14 stone 9, I have already lost 3 stone and am working to lose another 2.5 stone. Couldn't have done it without MFP, It's been amazing, so much easier than any fad diets i've tried, still eating all the foods I love just less of it. Was hard at first but it's really a habit now and it's just so easy, which I never thought was possible. Good luck on your weight loss!

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