Jealous of a friend

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Black_Swan
Black_Swan Posts: 770 Member
in Motivation and Support
I know that is bad, and I am totally in control of it, but sometimes I am really jealous of my totally thin friend. She is not even fit, she is just super thin without having to do anything about it. Usually I am ok with it and I dont think about it, but I re-started my diet recently and she is coming to the new year party - and I want to eat there without feeling guilt or anything - but I feel like I will just think about how she must have a happier life because she is so thin. Which is totally stupid, she is not - I know my life is great and the only thing that makes me sad is my weight. I actually bet that she is not totally happy with being so thin, rarely there is a girl that is happy about her weight.
But, sometimes I feel jealous and then guilty for being jealous.
Are you also sometimes jealous of your thinner friends? How do you cope with it?

Replies

  • yellowfairy
    yellowfairy Posts: 207 Member
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    Thin doesn't equal happy. You can be the thinnest, prettiest girl in the room-and be completely miserable on the inside. Don't loose sight of what matters most-and that is the inside of us. Not the outside.
  • kjensen15
    kjensen15 Posts: 398 Member
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    That would totally be my sister in law. She is tiny and eats anything and everything she wants. She drives me crazy some times because one minute she'll say, "I want to gain weight, but I can't" and then the next minute its, "When I drink regular pop I get fat." or "I have to go to the gym to work out, b/c I've eaten so much and I don't want to get fat." I know she would never mean to hurt any one's feelings or anything like that but it drives me nuts! Not to mention I really worry about how it makes my other sister in law, her little sister, feel. She is a bigger girl and has always struggled with her weight.
  • harls
    harls Posts: 88 Member
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    I totally agree with you on those jealous feelings... I get them too. Actually, I bet 95% of the people here get them at some point. Like yellowfairy said, thin does not equal happy, though. But I know sometimes we can't help but think how much "better" our lives would be if we just lost the weight... so, anyways, when I get jealous of my smaller friends, I just use them as motivation. I don't let them know I'm jealous (I just keep having a good time, you know?) and then use them as motivation to keep on exercising and eating well. I saw someone online before (maybe this site, maybe another, I don't remember) who uses their friends' weights as goal weights! That's a tad extreme, but still, it's awesome motivation.
    You will get there some day! You may never be the "thinnest", but you sure can look good and feel good no matter the weight or body type :)
  • downtosting
    downtosting Posts: 14
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    I too always look at people and have to tell myself that thin does not = happy. I totally feel like they have the high life and are "living." I fell on Christmas day and ended up in the ER getting stitches. I was laying next to this girl who got angry with her parents and ran her car (brand new car) into a railing and flipped it multiple times. Before she left the house she told her father that she hoped that she wrecked her car and died. I sat there and listened to this perfect bodied, beautiful high school girl tell her parents how miserable she was and that no matter how much they buy her and how much she hangs out with friends, she is never happy and always miserable. I'd much rather be fat and happy than skinny and miserable - but I'd LOVE to be skinny and happy!
  • Citrinepoint
    Citrinepoint Posts: 4
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    When I was younger I was very thin and could eat anything I wanted without gaining weight. I used to say things like "I'm so fat" and never felt good in my own skin. Now I look back and WISH I was as "fat" as I was then LOL. I realize now that my mindset actually probably helped to create how I look now. I thought I was fat so one day I was. I'm trying to do the opposite now and "Think Fit!" I don't want to be thin because like you said you can be thin and not fit. I want to be fit and look like I'm in great shape. I have also been letting go of allowing myself to be happy when I get to a certain weight. I've been learning to love how I look in the shape I am in right now.
  • lilRicki
    lilRicki Posts: 4,555 Member
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    thin doesn't equal healthy either...just because she has less body fat doesn't mean she won't have problems with her health later in life if she doesn't eat properly and exercise. If she's a health nut, then maybe that's something you two can have in common? my best friend is male, and RIPPED! like i mean he has an 8 pack...and it's natural! he works out here and there, but for the most part he does p90x for maybe a week and he's rippling...so obviously I have nothing in common with him (besides our height lol) but I get a lot of good information and suggestions from him that I might use for my work outs. If she's not a health nut, then don't worry about it, she may be skinny, but that's not the entire goal...it's to be healthy and productive! Stay strong, you will prevail.
  • Black_Swan
    Black_Swan Posts: 770 Member
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    Thank you everyone for the interesting stories and the support, I feel better now! She is totally my motivation - in some aspects, since the only thing healthy about her life is that she does not eat almost any meat (and Im not sure even that is healthy, but thats another story!).
    Its much important to be happy and to be positive than to be thin... I also think that. But being thinner would make me a little bit more happier, and that is why I am doing this:)
    Thanks!

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