Is there a Right or Wrong Motivation for weight loss?

rissavai
rissavai Posts: 18 Member
in Motivation and Support
So I jumped on this slow agonizing journey for two reasons. One to feel/look better and two, the bigger reason, to stick it to my husbands family.
Let me explain.
When I weight 150-160 back before we got married, his family thought I was "too" skinny. They constantly made comments on how I wasn't eating enough and how I was getting married and staying skinny meant I wasn't really "ready" to settle down. Apparently you have to gain 20 lbs to be fully committed to your spouse. After we got married, I stayed my weight and my mother in law finally made the comment (accusation) that I was still acting like I was single and trying to find a guy because I was so concerned about my appearance (weight). >:-(
Now fast forward three years, two kids and 40 lbs later. My mother in law came to visit and her first morning there made a comment about my weight. "shouldn't I be eating less?" "don't I want to look nice again" "you have gained so much" and my favorite "your husband needs to find you attractive, what are you going to do about weight loss?".
Since then, his sisters and mother have made it their mission to make me feel terrible. Whenever they visit, they ask me what diet I am on and if I'm not, why not? If we go out, they literally wait to see what I will order and then make little comments.
Now my husband JUST recently tuned into what was going on and finally stood up to me when his mother told me that I should probably stick to just a salad. Mind you, this comment was made in front of more than 20 people at a BBQ.
Oh and guess what, both my mother and sister in laws are heavier than I am. My mother in law is at least 240 lb and my sister in law is somewhere around 260 lb. Been that way since I've met them.
So, my mother in laws family reunion is this July and my main and almost only source of motivation is to show up to the "welcoming" BBQ looking fierce. When I workout that is the drive that keeps me going. I literally zone out and image what it will be like to see the looks on their faces and to be able to physically say "shove it!"
BUT is this a healthy motivation? I mean is there some guideline to what your suppose to use as motivation? I am a just insanely weird and a little too vengeful? Or are the strong strange motivations like these the best? I mean, every day I eat under my calories I am like "boo yaaayyy in laws!"

Ideas? thoughts? do you have strange motivations as well? I'd love to hear!

Replies

  • Jestinia
    Jestinia Posts: 1,153 Member
    I think it's a great motivation. But don't be too disappointed if the bitter old harpies find something else to harp about once you gobsmack them with your weight loss. They sound like a bunch of bullies, and bullies will always seek out new soft spots to strike at. They'll probably go back to assuming you're looking for another man. But hopefully your husband has too much sense to listen to them.
  • Trostlegirl
    Trostlegirl Posts: 91 Member
    Wow..totally irritated for you!!! I never do understand how someone thinks it's acceptable to comment on my weight or my diet, unless I asked your or your my doctor. Grrrrrrr!!!

    I think we all probably have a little bit of the "take that" kind of momentum when we start out. I know I do. When I had originally lost weight, about 10 years ago I made the comment to my ex-MIL that I wanted to lose 60lbs. Her reaction basically told me I was being ridiculous for thinking I could lose that much (and I really do like her..mind you, she just didn't think I could do it I guess).

    If your ready, I say go for it and strut your stuff at that reunion and then some!! Best of luck!!!!:drinker:
  • bcattoes
    bcattoes Posts: 17,299 Member
    I think it's a great motivation. But don't be too disappointed if the bitter old harpies find something else to harp about once you gobsmack them with your weight loss. They sound like a bunch of bullies, and bullies will always seek out new soft spots to strike at. They'll probably go back to assuming you're looking for another man. But hopefully your husband has too much sense to listen to them.

    This ^^

    Whatever motivation keeps you going, grab it. But, these type of people aren't going to stop being a-holes just because you prove them wrong. Just like they didn't stop being a-holes when you gained weight.

    Honestly, I applaud your self restrain and manners. If they were my in-laws I doubt they'd be speaking to me at all by now.
  • BigT555
    BigT555 Posts: 2,067 Member
    i wouldve told them to f*** off as soon as she made the first comment. good luck on your journey and i hope you can rub it in their face!

    maybe at the BBQ you could let a few comments about their weight slide through
  • Roxytudor
    Roxytudor Posts: 16
    As long as it keeps you motivated I don't see what's wrong with it.. as long as a part of you wants it for yourself, so once you've lost it and they stop nagging you you won't gain it back :)
  • Koldnomore
    Koldnomore Posts: 1,613 Member
    I think it's a great motivation. But don't be too disappointed if the bitter old harpies find something else to harp about once you gobsmack them with your weight loss. They sound like a bunch of bullies, and bullies will always seek out new soft spots to strike at. They'll probably go back to assuming you're looking for another man. But hopefully your husband has too much sense to listen to them.

    This ^^

    Whatever motivation keeps you going, grab it. But, these type of people aren't going to stop being a-holes just because you prove them wrong. Just like they didn't stop being a-holes when you gained weight.

    Honestly, I applaud your self restrain and manners. If they were my in-laws I doubt they'd be speaking to me at all by now.

    So true!

    I don't see anything wrong with using that as motivation.

    I can't really pick out what motivates me - never really could..more often than not I think I am just motivated by the fact that I 'feel' like seeing what I am capable of just to do it. It seems to be enough for me on most days, and when it isn't I tend to toss in a little revenge therapy and think about all those people who used to look down their noses at me when I was bigger (most of whom are now bigger than I ever was) and how nice it feels to be able to wear what I want and look good!

    Just grab on to what works and run with it!

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